xkcd

by **podbaydoor** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:39 pm UTC

Something vaguely about me being part of some kind of resistance movement. There was something valuable in that house that the movement needed, and I was sneaking in to get it, only I got caught by the guy and was then confined to the house.

by **Oregonaut** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:39 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Something vaguely about me being part of some kind of resistance movement. There was something valuable in that house that the movement needed, and I was sneaking in to get it, only I got caught by the guy and was then confined to the house.

So I need to buy some Vader gear and a skull mask?

by **podbaydoor** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:43 pm UTC

That would be...interesting.

by **Menacing Spike** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:43 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:Something vaguely about me being part of some kind of resistance movement. There was something valuable in that house that the movement needed, and I was sneaking in to get it, only I got caught by the guy and was then confined to the house.

So I need to buy some Vader gear and a skull mask?

You might want to nuke alderande while you are at it. Makes for good bedroom talk.

by **podbaydoor** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:45 pm UTC

Nah, the guy in my dream wasn't the kind of guy to do stuff like that. He seemed to be mainly doing his job without going to excesses on either side. I don't remember if my brain told me the backstory for any of this, though.

by **Menacing Spike** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:56 pm UTC

But but but the interrogation probe would make an amazing sex toy!
Look at the thing!

by **podbaydoor** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:58 pm UTC

Which puts a brand-new spin on that scene between Vader and Leia, doesn't it?

by **Oregonaut** » Mon May 09, 2011 9:58 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:But but but the interrogation probe would make an amazing sex toy!

I'd spend some time teaching her to wield my lightsaber.

by **Mumpy** » Tue May 10, 2011 1:24 am UTC

Something something hand cut off? I don't know....

So I'm on the bus to the burbs from Seattle, and I doze off (I've been reading about how the economy is going down the pan before I fall asleep) I can't remember my actual dream, but on that bus you pay when you get off.
I woke up and was So confused that a guy getting off the bus paid the bus driver with carrots. And a woman did the same with reciepts. So Confused.

by **Menacing Spike** » Tue May 10, 2011 2:10 am UTC

Been missing sleep in a few nights because of a fucked up throat. The medication, it does nothing.
Interesting hallucinations, however: I see a spinning wad of ice, with bloodied spikes. It eviscerates a rabbit.

by **thorgold** » Tue May 10, 2011 2:32 am UTC

Having been punched in the jaw a few hours ago, I had a brief reminder of the mind-altering effects a deeply infected dental nerve. Also, a mental barrier of the night that the pain struck just broke in my head! So, as I deal with my troubled subconcious in Silent Hill, here's a recount of the hallucinations I remember:

1. Wake up in bed, jaw aches. I reach up to feel it and it's missing. I look in the mirror and it's there, but my hands are going right through it. Cue blackout from pain spike, in the bathroom.
2. Wake up on the floor of my room (sleep-crawl?). Cue mindrape pain. I see a worm crawling across the floor, into my mouth, and then it turns into pain. Up through my ear and temple, into my brain. I can see a MRI (or something) of my brain rapidly being perforated with holes where the worm has eaten away. Another blackout.
3. Wake up again, am pounding head into floor and onto a spike.

At this point, I'm no longer blacking out, but stuck in a hellish borderline subconcious area. The preceding events have taken a grand total of two hours, starting at 1:00 AM. So, it was at 3:00 AM that I saw bloody Eldritch Abominations flying about. For the next four hours or so, I imagine myself being killed many times, along with the rest of society. Thankfully, there's still a mental block about what exactly I saw beyond that.

Somehow, I got to the sink and got cold water in my mouth long enough to numb the nerve, at which point I passed out for good and slept.

by **Promicin** » Fri May 13, 2011 9:58 pm UTC

Fun fact from my dream last night: The percentage of Jeopardy questions legally required to mention badgers is somewhere around 25%. I learned this on a slightly-post-apocalyptic underground (in both senses of the word) game of Jeopardy in which Trebek was sort of an evil overlord holding people hostage and forcing them to play Jeopardy.

by **thorgold** » Sat May 14, 2011 6:08 am UTC

Promicin wrote:Fun fact from my dream last night: The percentage of Jeopardy questions legally required to mention badgers is somewhere around 25%. I learned this on a slightly-post-apocalyptic underground (in both senses of the word) game of Jeopardy in which Trebek was sort of an evil overlord holding people hostage and forcing them to play Jeopardy.

Gives "sudden death round" a whole new meaning!

by **PatrickRsGhost** » Tue May 17, 2011 12:18 am UTC

Neck was hurting like hell last night. Stayed home from work today due to it still hurting. Been knocked up on Aleve and codeine all day. My drug-induced dreams:

1. Dreamed I was discussing religion with a co-worker in some kitchen that looked remotely like mine. Was telling them how some religions, especially Catholicism, believe everything you do is a sin, and how you have to confess your sins on a regular basis. If you didn't have a real sin, you had to make one up on something that may seem sinful. "Forgive me, Father for I have sinned...I used too much mustard on my hot dog..."

2. Dreamed the director of a funeral parlor had become a zombie, and it was my job to kill him. Had an antique pistol that was in an old wooden box, and only one bullet. That one did not end well.

by **emceng** » Tue May 17, 2011 12:57 pm UTC

Wow, some weird stuff last night.

1) Was going on a trip to the Caribbean. For some reason I didn't make any arrangements for one of my cats, so my brilliant plan was to just bring him to the airport and let him loose until I got back. I realized this was a bad idea right before I left, so started panicking. Tried to find a way to board him(in the airport) and also was talking to security people. For some reason the security office was in this carpeted area, and there was a car parked there, with a gas pump hooked up to it and piles of books, folders, and papers stacked up all around it.

2) Was in this dark area, and saw someone carry three mice to a scientist. They explained that they desperately need more mice. For some reason all the ones they got were already trained to do mazes, so they didn't work for the experiments. The first guy also released two rats. Big ones, the scary ones from kids movies. The dark area now turned out to be my grandmother's house, and the rats were sneaking around, climbing on the ceiling and hiding in the corners.

Bleh, neither was pleasant, and the panicky feeling from the first was shitty to wake up to.

by **Felstaff** » Thu May 19, 2011 10:15 am UTC

I dreamt I had a very futuristic PDA, where everything was instantly accessible. It was a combination of the Psi-Scan Model 345 (Voted "Psi-Scan of the Year Best Budget Model" Three Years Running, outperforming the 346 model in 8 out of 10 benchmark tests), and some kind of intense graphical whizzomatron which can instantly analyse every conceivable aspect of the immediate environment and provide you with pertinent data.

For instance, in the dream, I was back in school, and on a school trip to a large facility with an old mansion behind it. Think a cross between Resident Evil mansion/Umbrella Labs & Arkham Asylum/Arkham mansions. In front of this disused mansion (greened with years of overgrowing ivy) was a stagnating lake (also green). As kids, we played in the green lake, and found an underwater entrance to the mansion itself. Of course, inside, the mansion wasn't all it seemed to be and was actually a futuristic, high-tech laboratory with all sorts of gadgetry and equipment. This was behind sealed doors and force-fields etc. Fortunately, I found this PDA unattended outside a laboratory, picked it up, pressed one button, and POW! it took a radar/ultrasonic sweep of the room and instantly 3D blueprints of the entire complex were uploaded to the GUI. I had fun rotating and zooming in the 3-D maps, finding all the ways in and out, and seeing just how sprawling the secret basements were. There were also three people in the room with me, and one instant 'photo-scan' brought up their complete identities: names, addresses, ages, rotating 3D-image of their heads, current health status, heartbeat rate, etc. Amazing stuff.

I was awoken by the urban foxes having screaming sex. My next dream involved a potential terrorist attack and all the city buses were inexplicably replaced with those tiny 'mobility-wagons' used for shuttling disabled and elderly people around, but were no bigger than an ambulance. Needless to say, I was on a very crowded bus, and the driver was an asshole. This is relevant to recent experience.

by **emceng** » Fri May 20, 2011 1:08 pm UTC

Lots last night, all bizaare, none bad.

I was in my kitchen, and noticed a hole in the shared wall with next door. I looked through the crumbling part, and could see into my neighbor's house. They had a mirror on their fridge at the same level of the hole. I followed the hole to my far wall, and it looked like a bullet had gone through my house. I was thinking about calling the cops, but instead went out into my garage. I was going to leave, but then saw a big cloud of dust come out of my front door, like someone had slammed it shut. I went inside and found...I don't know who. Maybe my brother.

Part 2
So for some reason my brother and I had to go back to high school, despite being our current ages. I drove us over, and we saw all sorts of stuff. Some guy got hit by a car. When pulling into the lot two girls were fighting each other. The school looked more like a dilapidated Wal-Mart, and the blacktop parking lot was crumbling. Inside we were sitting around maybe in an assembly, discussing our class schedule. What I remember of mine:

Linear Regression
Garfield
[something sciencey]
Calculus 4[or similar]
Garfield[with a parenthetical note]
[more science]

We joked that most of my time was going to be spent at home or skipping classes or something. I then confided that I didn't actually graduate from college, since I hadn't passed an English class [very strange since I never took English in college].

Then I was outside the school. The parking lot had turned into a grassy area, and I was with House[from TV]. We walked around and observed. Some of the students had cell phones laying in the grass near them - but wouldn't touch them. They were acting like a shock collar or something, and some bullies would walk around and control the phones. We wandered a bit, then [I don't remember] but then there was going to be a speech or something similar. House manipulated one of the genetic geniuses from DS9[watched part of that episode last night] into doing some sort of prank. I was up front eating chips or trail mix, when they caught on because the genius guy was babbling more strangely than usual.

by **Promicin** » Fri May 20, 2011 1:16 pm UTC

There was something about how if you take a picture of a phone with a cameraphone, you can steal information. Someone did this to us, and I got their license plate number, but my mom said it was rude to memorize everything just in case it pertains to a crime.
Then someone invented "the perfect shirt for throwing darts in," which was touted as a fashion innovation, and celebrated with cake in the shape of those L-shaped Tetris blocks. Everyone on TV is talking about this shirt, and I think it looks like the puffy shirt from Seinfeld.

Then there must've been something about chickens, because my first thought this morning was "It's amazing that everyone on Earth began life as a fuzzy baby chicken. Wait, no. As an egg."

by **Kang** » Fri May 20, 2011 5:05 pm UTC

I actually had an interesting dream this week. Something about horses, then I visited a race track. All the cars were old Soviet limousines, but I still met a friend there who told me he had arrived at the event by plane. As it turned out he had flown a vintage Stuka, which was chained to the bike stands outside, and upon seeing it I said: 'Oh, I thought you were talking about that Shtuka thing in math!'

by **Burgerman** » Sun May 22, 2011 2:23 am UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:But but but the interrogation probe would make an amazing sex toy!

podbaydoor wrote:Which puts a brand-new spin on that scene between Vader and Leia, doesn't it?

Eeeeeew, I would like my star wars without a sorta reverse Oedipus scene running through my mind, thank you.

ARRRRGGH, too late. *sobs over ruined child hood* :cry:

by **podbaydoor** » Sun May 22, 2011 2:28 am UTC

Dude, I read and write fanfiction. My ability to be outraged died a long time ago.

by **Burgerman** » Sun May 22, 2011 2:37 am UTC

Sorry, not trying to outrage you. I'm just saying, it isn't something I want to have to worry about when I watch star wars with my kids for the first time. Rule 34 has already ruined enough of my childhood, and the rest is tucked safely away by strong mental blocks.

by **podbaydoor** » Sun May 22, 2011 2:38 am UTC

I don't think that's what happened. But it is an interesting possibility to contemplate for its fiction potential, as a possible alternate untold history.

by **The Scyphozoa** » Sun May 22, 2011 5:22 pm UTC

A couple nights ago my dream was just the words: "Dragon takeoff, people running, downhill people running, flex, part 1 November, walking, Chase that fire you wizards, flying horse, lizards, watch out Harry, too late, got him, help him Ron (swing), part 2 July 2 burning..."
That's right, I sang the Deathly Hallows literal trailer in my head while unconscious.

by **Ptolom** » Sun May 22, 2011 5:59 pm UTC

Barack Obama was teaching me to play Go. However many times we played I couldn't beat him.

by **Midnight** » Sun May 22, 2011 9:55 pm UTC

Dreamt I ate a bagel. it was very vivid.
woke up and my mouth tasted like bagel.

to the point now that I was totally sure that I didn't eat a bagel, and it wasn't a dream; the only reason I know it was is because we have no bagels, and I made a note about getting them yesterday.

by **Oregonaut** » Mon May 23, 2011 1:35 pm UTC

I had a long conversation with a dead person. We talked about why I was a fuck up.

by **Promicin** » Wed May 25, 2011 12:34 pm UTC

There was something about a computer game/real life, where I had to pack all these animals into a van, but I didn’t think they'd fit, what with all the balloons.
Then we come home, and our neighbor wants to go for a walk with me and her friend. Her friend has taken a quarter-day off work, where she does customer service for people in India (I described it as "outsourcing the outsourced").
Our other neighbor is there, and she is suspiciously without a garbage can. Also her sink is set in the floor, and the kids she's babysitting are wading through it.
We finally get on our walk, and we have to go to the dollar store to return a blue plush monkey I accidentally stole.
They let me navigate, and I stupidly lead them to the place where the store used to be, but we eventually get there.
I explain to the owner that I didn’t mean to take the monkey, that its Velcro hands got stuck to me and followed me home, but I don’t think he believed me, and he leaves.
We look around the store. There are some CDs that suspiciously more than a dollar.
Also, there are a wide variety of people here, and I try not to offend the little person getting Legos from the bubblegum machines, the "Mummy-American," or the mummy's creator.

I had another dream involving a dog trying to invent a cure for dysentery. He is discouraged, and I tell him, "If Balto can do it, so can you."
It made sense in the dream, but I'm pretty sure, even in the cartoon movie, Balto didn’t invent the medicine he delivered. And Wikipedia tells me it was diphtheria, anyway.

by **SamaraLexx** » Wed May 25, 2011 9:46 pm UTC

I dreamt that I accidentally knocked my dog out of the window and she died a painful and terrifying death. I hate my dreams.

by **Kang** » Wed May 25, 2011 10:09 pm UTC

Last night I had a dream in which my mom called on me because her laptop was broken. When I arrived it turned out the house was under siege by a bunch of people led by a skeleton-robot, but they let me pass. I took a look at my mother's laptop and figured her wireless LAN was just not getting a signal, but she told me I shouldn't go in the basement and check on the router, as that robot was already down there. For some reason they couldn't get up to the second floor, though, but a short while after I was musing that it was actually surprising that only the network was out; in that precise moment of course power was cut and it all went classic zombie movie-esque from then on.

by **Menacing Spike** » Wed May 25, 2011 10:37 pm UTC

I was visited by the Unicorn of Love, complete with rainbows.
I pointed out that love was based on illusions and affected roles, pawing frenetically at masks to stave off our emptinesses and lack of meaning.

Then the Unicorn turned into a skeletal Unicorn and grinned. Now that I found it out, it had to eat me. But I wasn't edible, so it stopped, and then I mounted it and we rode into the sunset. I grew attached to it and then it ate my lungs.

by **Menacing Spike** » Mon May 30, 2011 10:49 pm UTC

Oooh, ooh, another one!
Part of my dream was debating over something immoral, and then my Guilt erupted, a creepy little man, and started crushing and destroying my mind while hurling insults around.
Then my Hope appeared too, looking like a anime heroine.
Guilt summoned some sort of solid block that crushed her from the waist up, smashing her against a wall. Then he seized the lower half, while she was twitching in her death throes, and raped it.

Woke up unhappy, had a rather shitty day.

Help?

by **Midnight** » Tue May 31, 2011 12:08 am UTC

just had a dream that I was in Battles and we played a concert for Paul McCartney, Jay-Z, Obama, and Samuel L. Jackson (among others, such as various people's parents) and we did kind of a shitty job.

by **Matarsak** » Tue May 31, 2011 3:08 am UTC

I had a very, very strange dream involving the uprooting of a "grandmother tree," and its conveyance to another site. Which for some reason involved the construction of a chariot that needed eight SSDs in RAID 0. For some reason the sticking point there was whether to use straight SATA connectors or angled ones.

by **Felstaff** » Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:29 pm UTC

I went for an interview at my own company. It must have been a promotion position or something, as I was the only person intra-company to apply. For some reason all the applicants were shepherded into a store (if you must know, it was my local branch of Woolworths, which closed down in 2008) and they announced on the PA-system "the following applicants have not been accepted", and they called out my name (among others)! It was like that episode of the Simpsons:

We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order:

Simpson, Homer.

...That is all

I had to pretend I wasn't the name they just called out, and quietly made my way out of the store, feeling pretty crappy about the whole situation.

by **Magnanimous** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:07 am UTC

In my dream a new law had been passed banning all abortions, and as a form of protest a prominent feminist nailed a fetus to a church door, Martin Luther style. It was... odd.

Conclusion: I need to stop reading N&A.

by **thorgold** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:38 am UTC

This one was... pretty frightening, actually.

Woke up in the middle of an oddly designed room. The floor was raised in places, with a bunch of platforms everywhere - basically, it was a platforming obstacle course. Well, I made my way through, and at the end there was a pipe exit, but there was a little boy sitting in my way. He said something to this extent: "Have you seen my dad? He was with me on the course, but fell and said he'd catch up, that was a while ago." I said no, but he perked up and joined me to go through the pipe. It was dark, but we had flashlight things. Eventually we slid down an incline into a pool of water, and we were stuck like Sims in a ladderless pool. However, the kid's dad came along and lifted us out. We started chatting, and made our way through the caves.

The caves were a direct imagining of those in Minecraft - dark, meandering places with a few big caverns having several branch areas. When we came to one big branch, his dad said we should stop to get our bearings. Suddenly, the dad was exploring one branch when the kid set off a bunch of TNT, blowing a whole in the floor and knocking himself and me down. We slid down in a bunch of water, landing in an iced over parking complex. I landed on top of a half frozen car, and started wondering where his dad was. He started acting really odd, as if we had never met his dad in the caves and didn't know what I was talking about at all. I wanted to look for his dad, and I saw something in the car beneath me (the snow drifts were deep). While I was digging to get the door open, he apparently found a girl and solved some puzzle to get the elevator running; all the while I was yelling "Where is your dad?" At this point, I was getting really creeped out, and he was acting like one possessed. I finally got light into the car, and saw his dad, frozen solid and half decayed.

I started yelling at him, "WHO IS YOUR DAD?!?" when he suddenly took the elevator up. The girl hadn't seen me, but he was staring straight at me and smiling as the elevator lifted off. As I ran to jump in, I grabbed a weirdly shaped bar off the wall and used it as a grapple to grab the elevator - which was more like a rising platform, since it didn't even take up the whole shaft; I could hang off the side with room to spare.

We all ascended into a canyon of steel, extending infinitely in two directions. The platform we were on (that I was still hanging from) followed a single, floating rail through the canyon, underneath a featureless orange sky (not sunset orange, but more like "Crazy interior designer" orange). The ground above the canyon was flat, infinitely expanding - there was nothing above us, nothing below us, just one long hallway of featureless steel.

By this point, we realized our bodies had changed. The boy went into a rage, demanding to know why our arms had shrunk and our legs grown, to the point that our arms were of no use while our legs had to be our main appendages. He tried to kick my hands off (I was still normal), but the girl stopped him. The platform stopped, and I noticed a slot in the wall shaped like the bar I was holding - it was a key! I swung myself onto the platform and got the bar into the whole. All the while, the boy is in hysterics, crazily ranting about how it wasn't fair, how I wasn't supposed to be there and how it was his right to do something (I'm reading Atlas Shrugged, I think it was a projection from some conversations there). The platform started moving again, but that's where the dream ended.

Overall, it was bizarre - and unbelievably horrifying. In the garage part of the dream, where I found the kid's dead dad and realized the guy in the cave was a hallucination (or worse), it was like the scene in a movie when you realize the protagonist is the real killer, and is about to betray everyone by locking them in a dark room full of monsters.

by **monaliza** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:07 am UTC

I've had horrible dream yesterday :cry:

by **Red_Green_Blue** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:26 pm UTC

I almost died in a dream because I was standing near an exhaust vent as a rocket took off from this airport. Really quite an intense and frightening moment.

by **thorgold** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:04 pm UTC

Last night was a continuation of yesterday. So, I'm haning from a platform and this evil little boy is raving about how it was his right to solve the puzzle, not mine. We're moving, now, and there are some alien things flying a few hundred feet above us. The platform is moving pretty fast, and the canyon starts looking dillapidated - the steel is rusted, there are water stains everywhere, there's a few holes in the wall, etc. Suddenly, the evil boy shoves the girl off the platform, and I'm completely horrified (the same feeling as in the garage of the last dream, the "KHAAAAAAN" horror). Then, he steps on my hands and laughs, a little boy laugh but his face has turned into demon teeth. His shoes sprout spikes and impale my hands, causing me to let go and fall.

I didn't dream about the fall, but I instantly cut to the impact. My body splattered everywhere in a blank, black area, with my impact site being lit up by a spotlight from above (like I'd fallen down a manhole). Even though it was my body splattering, I saw it in 3rd person - and then, I realized that I had a new body, just standing there watching my old body splat. When I tried to move, the light shut off, and I screamed before waking up.

My subconcious scares me

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