[SAFESPACE] Support thread for people with disabilities

[natraj]

I am filing a civil rights complaint with the attorney general's office. Showcase's parent company already lost a lawsuit once in Massachusetts over accessibility issues and agreed to caption movies as a result of that lawsuit, so it's pretty bogus that they don't actually make any effort to ensure the captioning is working.

Letter-writing is also a good idea. At this point I feel more like writing to newspapers than to the theatre. They've already been obnoxious, maybe they will start having some respect if more people know about the problem.

Throw in another +1 for that's utter bullshit. Especially since this appears to be a continuing problem. Has their captioning ever worked as expected?

Um... with Showcase I have tried seeing movies there six times (at various theatres in the chain) and their captioning has never worked properly, either due to equipment not working or simply because they neglected to actually turn it on (which is even more egregious.) Every time I think I won't go back again but then sometimes there's no other options for places to go -- generally speaking, a given movie theater that has captioning available will only caption one movie at a time, for a span of a week before they pick a new one to caption. Occasionally two, but the bulk of theatres that have installed it at all have only installed the caption system on one screen. And in the area there are only a handful of theatres that offer captioning at all. So any given day, there is likely to be a selection of only about 2-4 movie options that I can pick from. Most movies leave theatres without ever being captioned anywhere in the area. So if a theatre is captioning a movie I actually want to see, it is often likely to be my only option for theatre choice.

Thankfully (though I'm not USUALLY happy for this) in this case this particular week the only other two theatres I can reach on public transportation that are captioning things are captioning the same movie. So I can still see it. At a different chain this time. Who will hopefully keep their captions in working order.

[Beardhammer]

Spoilered for being ranty and not on topic with the current vein of helpfulness.

Spoiler:

Yesterday my friend and I tried to go see X-Men at a Showcase movie theatre. The show was supposed to be captioned, but when it started playing, the captions weren't working. We went to talk to the manager; it was a little irritating because this is the fifth time this has happened at that chain. She was very apologetic though and sent someone in to make sure the captioning got turned on and was working properly, but by then the movie had been playing a while so we'd missed a bunch of it. She refunded our money and gave us passes to the next show and an extra pair of free movie passes for the inconvenience, and assured us that at the evening show the captioning would be turned on properly.

We went home, came back to the movies again later that day for the next show. AGAIN the captionings weren't turned on. By that point it was a little bit ridiculous. We left to talk to the manager again (a different manager, this shift, although he had been present in the afternoon he was not the one we dealt with earlier) only this time, he just got mad at US for complaining, refused to call his supervisor, insisted there was nothing they could do about anything, and threatened to CALL THE COPS on us for making a scene. (We were upset, but we were not yelling or in any way threatening or violent; we were asking for him to call his regional manager who is the person we had to deal with last time we encountered this problem at their chain, and he did not want to call her.)

I am kind of really pissed off about this. It was so disrespectful, and to threaten US with police action because HE was not compliant with keeping his theatre accessible for people with disabilities was the most blatantly improper way to handle the situation.

Hell, my hearing is somehow still miraculously fine after a lifetime of death metal and even I'd be pissed in that situation. I actually watch movies at home with subtitles/capitioning simply because it'll make it less likely I'll miss something important. I'd totally take Felstaff up on that offer, if for no other reason than to watch them panic when the words "sue you" are mentioned. Watching people in the service sector squirm can be pretty fun.

[New User]

Well I don't know if I'd consider it a disability, but I have Schizoid personality disorder. I wouldn't say it impairs my life, but it can be very frustrating since I can definitely notice that I'm not like other people. So to all the people out there who are frustrated with society because you notice you're different, you have my sympathy.

[Felstaff]

I am filing a civil rights complaint with the attorney general's office.

Sweet, keep us updated. That kind of thing is simply not on.

[Amarantha]

I recently learned that my dad has Aspergers. While what I know about the classification does explain some behavioral traits that run on my dads side of the family and are extremely prominent in him, I'd really appreciate any supplemental advice regarding Aspergers and how to better interact with people who display those traits. "Dealing" with my dad, as a teenage girl, is difficult in and of itself, but I think it's exacerbated by the fact that we operate differently on a psychological level. I don't *really* know much about Aspergers....so anyone who can tell me anything from first or second hand experience would be *so badass* and really helpful.

Wouldn't mind knowing more about the condition myself. I realize this is something of a necro-reply.

My understanding of it is just that it's something like a mild form of autism that usually results in the person being very antisocial, or basically being really, really bad at talking/interacting with people "normally." It also seems to be a condition that gets self-diagnosed an awful lot, like ADHD. It initially made me think it was a load of crap (I initially thought that about ADHD as well, though I've since been proven incorrect there), but it does seem to be completely legitimate... just overdiagnosed, maybe (like I said, it seems a bunch of bloggers like to construe "not good at talking to people" as "I have Aspberger's!")

The thing about Asperger's is that it's a syndrome, on a spectrum. If you've met one person with Asperper's, you've met... one person with Asperger's. We're all different. It's a large collection of symptoms, a selection of which will result in a positive diagnosis. So it's hard to answer a question like "What are people with Asperger's like" or "How can I better interact with them". Having an inkling of the concepts can help, but for dealing with a specific person, you're better off getting to know the person. Which isn't very helpful, I know. It's hard trying to talk about personal stuff if it's your Dad. What I would recommend for starters is reading books by Aspies, such as Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Wiley or Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison. They're good for getting a feel of Aspies as normal people who just experience the world a little bit differently. If you have any more specific questions I might be able to answer them better.

[a_fuzzyduck]

also: being open minded and willing to adapt and learn from the individual you're dealing with works as well

[Trygv]

I am another Aspie/ HFA.

I am not disabled though. I am just neurodiverse.

[Amarantha]

Quite. We are disabled only by the pressures and expectations of a neurotypical society, not by our own brains.

[Hofstadter'sLaw]

edit: Nevermind. =X

[charolastra]

Temporarily disabled with cancer and the resulting chemotherapy side effects. Biggest issues now are chronic pain, fatigue, lack of stamina (ie I get out of breath and dizzy walking to my 3rd story apartment or office- neither of which have elevators), lack of strength, and "chemo brain". Chemo brain means that I have a lot of brain fog, have difficulty with word-searching, can't focus, and have diminished higher-level reasoning skills. My oncologist told me that at times I will function like someone knocked off 40 points of my IQ.

Long term side effects from the treatment after I finish in October thus far include lung damage, kidney damage, long-term "chemo brain", and a high potential for post-traumatic stress disorder.

[Feddlefew]

I have moderate Asperger's Syndrome, dysgraphia (I can't write), and auditory processing disorder. I never learned to spell most or pronounce some words correctly, and my handwriting looks like a little kids.

The dysgraphia... is bad. I've almost been held back twice because of it, and it makes math hell for me. It's not just that my handwriting's too messy to read, the letters also end up in the wrong shapes or order, and it just gets worse the longer I write for. I can't complete most of my tests without typing them. People just don't understand when I tell them that it FUCKING HURTS TO WRITE. EXCRUCIATING, AGONIZING PAIN. No, I am not going to do one more of those stupid "practice your handwriting" books because it MAKES NO DAMN DIFFERENCE.[/rant]

[a_fuzzyduck]

Someone's been missing the point entirely...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13809620

Spoiler:

MP says minimum wage a hindrance to disabled jobseekers

A Conservative MP has suggested "vulnerable" jobseekers - including disabled people - should be allowed to work for less than the minimum wage.

Backbencher Philip Davies said the £5.93-an-hour legal minimum may be a "hindrance" to some jobseekers.

Firms were likely to favour other candidates and MPs should not "stand in the way" of those who wanted to work for less to get on the "jobs ladder".

But mental health charity Mind said it was a "preposterous suggestion".

Mr Davies, the MP for Shipley, made the comments during a debate in the Commons over the minimum wage and employment opportunities.

The minimum wage is currently £5.93 an hour for those over 21, £4.92 for those aged between 18 and 20 and £3.64 for 16 and 17 year olds.

'Less of a risk'
The MP claimed the most vulnerable, including those with learning disabilities and mental health problems, were disadvantaged in their search for work because they had to compete with candidates without disabilities and could not offer to accept lower pay.

They were desperate to work but continually found the "door was being closed in their face".

He said he had talked to people with mental health problems during a visit to a surgery run by the charity Mind, and they had "accepted" that they would be passed over in favour of jobseekers without disabilities.

Continue reading the main story
“
Start Quote

It would set the cause of equality for disabled people back sometime to the middle of the last century”

Dame Anne Begg
Labour MP
"Given some of those people with a learning disability clearly, by definition, cannot be as productive in their work as somebody who has not got a disability of that nature, then it was inevitable given the employer was going to have to pay them both the same they were going to take on the person who was going to be more productive, less of a risk," he said.

He continued: "My view is that for some people, the national minimum wage may be more of a hindrance than a help.

"If those people who consider it is being a hindrance to them, and in my view that's some of the most vulnerable people in society, if they feel that for a short period of time, taking a lower rate of pay to help them get on their first rung of the jobs ladder, if they judge that that is a good thing, I don't see why we should be standing in their way."

Mr Davies was challenged over his remarks by fellow Tory MP Edward Leigh who told him: "Forget the fact there is a minimum wage for a moment. Why actually should a disabled person work for less than £5.93 an hour. It is not a lot of money, is it?"

Mr Davies replied that, irrespective of whether it was "right or wrong", that was "just the real world that we operate in".

He later told the BBC Radio 4's PM that the minimum wage had benefited a lot of people and he was not suggesting that vulnerable people should work for less than the legal minimum.

But he believed they should have the opportunity to do so, should they wish, for a short term to ensure they had time in the workplace "to prove themselves".

'Preposterous'
But Mind spokesman Sophie Corlett said: "It is a preposterous suggestion that someone who has a mental health problem should be prepared to accept less than minimum wage to get their foot in the door with an employer.

"People with mental health problems should not be considered a source of cheap labour and should be paid appropriately for the jobs they do."

She said employers should be educated about mental health problems, adding that more than 50% of people with mental health problems lived on weekly household income of less than £200.

A Conservative Party spokesman told the BBC: "These comments do not reflect the views of the Conservative Party and do not reflect government policy".

Labour MP Dame Anne Begg, chairman of the work and pensions committee, said more needed to be done to remove the barriers facing disabled people in the workplace but the MP's arguments were "unfair and wrong".

"To say that all disabled people should be excluded from the coverage of the minimum wage ... would be discriminatory against disabled people. It would set the cause of equality for disabled people back sometime to the middle of the last century."

It is the same as saying black people who want to work in games should be excluded from coverage of the minimum wage. So basically, he's a clown

[natraj]

That is a) completely disgusting and appalling and b) something we already do in the US (and just as completely disgusting and appalling here, but it's been law for forever so nobody really talks about it much.) There's already a minimum wage exemption built into federal law here that allows employers to be exempted from paying workers with disabilities minimum wage. In some places employees with mental disabilities were getting paid something like 60c/hour.

[a_fuzzyduck]

It just occurred to me this morning that what he suggested happens - where an employer has to pick between two candidates, identical except one has mental health issues or learning difficulties - is actually illegal anyway

[felltir]

It just occurred to me this morning that what he suggested happens - where an employer has to pick between two candidates, identical except one has mental health issues or learning difficulties - is actually illegal anyway

...hot damn. You're right!

[a_fuzzyduck]

So yeah, that makes the dismissal a lot easier. i.e. find ways of making it easier to prove such discrimination, and finding a decent way of dealing with employers that do

[Jessica]

NECRO!!

So, I ran across this blog post, and I wanted others to read it. It's about the silencing technique "If you just asked politely then..."

Thought it might be interesting to read for others.

[Ptolom]

NECRO!!

So, I ran across this blog post, and I wanted others to read it. It's about the silencing technique "If you just asked politely then..."

Thought it might be interesting to read for others.

That is not good at all. I think I'm going to to and check all the images on my website have decent alt text.

[a_fuzzyduck]

I think the follow up to the experiment is for ze to explain how to fix the accessibility issues, then offer to do it for free to see how many of them would agree to that, and how many actually are bigots

[Elvish Pillager]

The follow-up to doing lots of work is... to offer to do lots more work?

Also, I'm not sure many people would appreciate an "offer" for a total stranger to mess with their website code. It would be a nice way to continue the experiment, except that it doesn't actually work at all.

[a_fuzzyduck]

The follow-up to doing lots of work is... to offer to do lots more work?

Also, I'm not sure many people would appreciate an "offer" for a total stranger to mess with their website code. It would be a nice way to continue the experiment, except that it doesn't actually work at all.

no but if they flat out refuse to even think about it, that shows a degree of commitment to anti accessibility. Which can be damaging

[sockpoppet]

I have social anxiety. Yes, it's a disability, and a tough one. Right now I'd cut my own legs if I knew that would get rid of it.

Another person was holding the door for me. I wanted to say "thank-you", but I just couldn't, so I stayed silent. Then I felt really bad for not saying thank-you. Then I got called rude. Now I'll feel horrible for about 4 hours.

But don't worry, I'm actually getting better. In a few years I'll probably be able to get a hug.

[mochafairy]

Necro...o...o...o...


I need to vent. I know I've already told a bunch of people, but it's still bugging me. Copied & Pasta'd because I already typed this once, and I don't want to do it again.

I'm sure we've all dealt with the people who just don't understand personal boundaries, or who just don't get it and never will, especially when it comes to disability.

So, I'm taking a women's study class, and today we were talking about The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde. In the piece, she writes about having breast cancer, having a mastectomy, and how her medical team told her she needed to wear her prosthetic breast for the "morale of the people in the office." (I'm not sure I got the exact phrasing correct, but that was the point.)

The conversation while discussing the piece went somewhat off topic, as it always does, and it went to "How can people who are disabled be attractive? How can anyone love them?"

You can see where this is going.

So, I offer up a bit of personal information. I tell them that "I am considered disabled under the ADA. I consider myself beautiful, and my husband thinks I'm quite sexy, and we are the only two people whose opinions matter. I find it incredibly disheartening that you would consider someone 'unlovable' simply because they are disabled. I find it incredibly disgusting that many people feel entitled to tell me and people like me what we have to do to not be an eye sore, to not intrude on your privileged, bubbled life, and then you ask me very personal questions, like 'How can you have sex' and 'Gross! You're allowed to have sex?' or tell me how to cure myself even when I never asked. I do not need your opinion to feel gorgeous even thought I may have a disability.-"

And then I'm interrupted. This one person says something to the effect of "But you don't look disabled or sick! How are you disabled?" Ha! Like it's really their business to know my medical history!

I tell them that I don't feel comfortable nor is there enough time to go over how I am classified as disabled.

And then this person tells me that they won't believe my unless I tell them. Yeah...some people...

Oh, but it gets better!

So, I keep it general. "I currently have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, but I also have organs that quite often don't like to function properly which leads to hormone imbalances. I have a cyborg part, which I think makes me even more awesome, that helps with one of chemical imbalances, but I also have to take more medications to help with all the other problems and complications." (Note, I do not want to discuss my medical status.)

So, class ends after more "Gee Willikers I'm so sorry you're disabled!" which was awkward at best. After class, a bunch of people come over and asked to see my "cyborg organ." My pump was in a "I can't pull it out without reaching into awkward places" place, so I told them that I couldn't show it to them at the moment. My infusion site is arm, and, of course, someone noticed. So, I was kinda forced into showing people my infusion site.

I felt like some kinda of animal on display that can magically talk. I was asked how I could live with myself, how I could have a thing attached to me, how I could live with being disabled...I felt like they thought that being me was the worst possible thing in the world.

A couple of people decided that I needed a hug for being brave (Yeah, being brave for putting up with these crap questions! I'm not brave for being me!) and a few of those people decided to see if they could feel where my mechanical organ was hiding while giving me a hug.

Seriously, Ben & Jerry's is my friend tonight, because I don't want to deal with real people who refuse to get it.

Thanks for letting me rant & Necro...o...o...o...

[Aiea]

I have Essential Tremor, I've had it since I was 21. Some days I feel so disabled by it, but I know compared to most other issues it's just an inconvience. I feel guilty for feeling disabled by it. But at the same time, it is disabling. I have a hard time doing things I used to enjoy, I like playing online games, world of warcraft specfically, and I'm almost at the point where I can't raid anymore. My head just shakes too much when things start getting hairy and then I suddenly can't see the screen anymore to be able to still do what I need to do. I worry all the time, my job requires me to be able bodied and I know I'm quickly approaching the point where I am not. But right now my husband doesn't have a job or any job prospects so I can't afford to lose my job. Sure if I was able to get disability pay out of it it wouldn't be as bad, but we'd still have major issues getting by. I hate this, I'm young, I'm 'healthy', but my body is falling apart at the seams. I also have PCOS, so a neurological condiditon combined with a hormonal condition creates for some interesting results. I also worry that if I've gotten as bad as I have in the past 10 years, what will the next 10 look like, how much longer do I have before I really become disabled? What will happen when I do, what will my quality of life be?

Fortunetly I have my first appt with a Neuro in over 3 years next week. I've been trying to get my dr to give me a refferal for the past year, the previous two I hadn't worried about it since between being pregnant and breastfeeding I wasn't taking any meds since they're all pretty much bad for a baby. I finally went to a different dr and begged him for a referral and got one. Hopefully the Neuro will be able to alay some of my fears and give me a good path ahead.

[Aaeriele]

*hugs for mochafairy and Aiea*


I'm kind of spacey due to tramadol at the moment. o.o

[Wyvern]

Schizophrenia. The people closest to me often tell me that I'm disabled because of it. Much more so than I realize. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

[Menacing Spike]

Schizophrenia. The people closest to me often tell me that I'm disabled because of it. Much more so than I realize. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

Well, since our perception of reality is wrapped, I suppose we cannot comprehend what we are missing. Probably all the better?

Personally, the only disabilities I feel from it are lack of motivation, depression, suicidal impulses, fostering other kinds of mental illnesses (much worse illnesses) and unreliability of cerebral processes/storage. This is probably better than many other disabilities. Being, say, armless, seems much worse.

[mochafairy]

Can we not play the "which disability is worse" game? The only real accomplishment of it seems to be making people feel like crap. "Oh, my disability is worse than that other person's... "

[Wyvern]

(spoiler for triggery)

Spoiler:

from what I can tell and from what people have told me, I seem to have it pretty severe. I can't go out alone. I shouldn't drive. I often times can't properly communicate. Left alone I won't eat. (People are going to be mad at me for eating(?)) Flashing lights and disruptive noises trigger symptoms, as does stress. Any kind of stress. Even just a little and I start to panic and meltdown. I'm jumpy and twitchy and become paranoid often.

I feel like a big ball of useless.

[felltir]

As this is a safespace, can we please spoiler stuff like that?

Thanks

[New User]

As this is a safespace, can we please spoiler stuff like that?

Thanks

Stuff like what?

[felltir]

Stuff like the stuff directly above my post that wyvern wrote?

Somewhat triggersome.

[Elvish Pillager]

Indeed. It would be prudent to have well-labeled spoilers for explicit descriptions of mind-affecting stuff and for negative self-talk.

This is definitely a good thread for posting that stuff. It's just important to be careful.

[Wyvern]

I edited in a spoiler. sorry for the trouble.

[felltir]

It's ok. This is the right place for it.

[Aiea]

Saw the dr today, I wasn't exactly impressed with his help. I tried asking him if my memory and cognition issues could possibly be related to my tremor and he dismissed it right off. I'd just love to know how a neurological condition can be so specific as to not have any other possible side effects. Ah well, at least I got a prescription out of it so maybe I can at least lesson my tremor some. Of course he was also catalogued how I told him it affects me in my life and he said that while that affects me I should be fine continuing my job etc and it isn't disabling. Grrr... If I've progressed this far in the past 10 years, who knows what the next 10 years are going to have, I already can't use my left hand for most everyday tasks. I used to be ambidextrous, now I can't carry a glass in it, I can't use it to drink a glass, I can't use it to write at all. I fear what will happen should my right hand choose to catch up with the left. Of course my head was cooperating today and not shaking so the dr didn't get to see any of that, nor did he do any simple tests for it either to show that yes it does shake. I just can't help but feel from my previous experience with neurologists and my own web research and comparing experiences with others who have this tremor that I know more about it than that dr.

[omgryebread]

(spoiler for triggery)

Spoiler:

from what I can tell and from what people have told me, I seem to have it pretty severe. I can't go out alone. I shouldn't drive. I often times can't properly communicate. Left alone I won't eat. (People are going to be mad at me for eating(?)) Flashing lights and disruptive noises trigger symptoms, as does stress. Any kind of stress. Even just a little and I start to panic and meltdown. I'm jumpy and twitchy and become paranoid often.

I feel like a big ball of useless.

:( Not sure what to say, except I was pretty messed up from schizoaffective disorder, and got better. With support, I'm sure you can too.

Spoiler:

Tried to kill myself twice, was pretty unable to function normally. It's hard, and still causes problems. Right now, because of the most recent suicide attempt, I'm not allowed to be alone, and I'll need drugs and therapy for the rest of my life. With help from friends, family, and doctors, though, I'm really happy right now.

It's hard to function with schizophrenia, but your far from useless. You can do pretty much anything you want.

[mochafairy]

Oh, the irony!

In class, the same class that I originally posted about, we were talking about how people with disabilities are silenced. And every time I tried to speak up, I was interrupted about 2 seconds in. Every. Single. Time. But they never interrupted anyone else.

[podbaydoor]

The interrupting phenomenon spreads to all sorts of classes and conversations. People are frustratingly callous. So, //hugs//

[mochafairy]

Thank you for the e-hugs. I need them.