xkcd

by **SmoothBlade** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:33 am UTC

C of course

by **a-wan** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:55 pm UTC

You rush towards the wall in a grimier part of this decidedly old house, fumbling for your zipper, and finally feel the sweet, sweet release of pressure. You tilt your head back and revel in the relief. As you bring your head back down, you notice that your urine has had a strange effect on the ground. Towards the edges of what would have been the warm puddle you were creating, the ground is bubbling and foaming, but in the center it has melted away, sinking into a deepening pit. You start to relieve yourself in an ever widening circle. As you do so, several things grab your attention.

First, you have an incredible reserve built up. You're able to expand the circle for several minutes, starting with just the six-inch hole you first noticed to almost three feet in diameter. Several different smells are assaulting your nostrils. There's the musty, dirty scent of the unfamiliar house that you started with and the steamy urine smell rising up, but a third, sulfurous smell, like a mixture of matches and rotten eggs, has begun to overpower the others. As the hole grows deeper, it appears to have passed through to a lower level, because you notice a flickering glow illuminate the edges of the pit, and you can hear a distant din below, like metal banging or grinding against rock.

Finally the outflow begins to slow to a trickle and you're able to stop. The astonishment that had gradually replaced your relief is now giving way to a knot of fear in your stomach. What is this place? How did you get here? How much did you drink last night? What's the owner of this house going to do when they see what you've done to it? Why do you have magical pee?

But the time for inaction is over. A sudden racket at the door tells you someone is trying to get in. Do you...

A) Act like the house is yours and answer the door, feigning outrage that someone would just barge in without knocking?

B) Hide in the bathtub and try observe the intruder (and possible homeowner) without being seen before deciding what to do next?

C) Escape down the hole you just created? What could possibly go wrong with that?

by **thorgold** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:35 am UTC

C) Escape down the hole. I mean, it's not like we dug/pissed too deep, right?

by **TheSweetKill** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:01 am UTC

While going down the hole you hear voices from the house saying stuff like:"hey where did he go"? and "oh man we where only gonna give him the money, now the boss is gonna kill us".By thesounds of things they dont notice the hole you are in. Also the hole smells like something so bad its undescribe able.

What are you gonna do:
A)Puke vigourosly
B)Clime out of the and puke vigourosly
C)Keep going down and Puke vigourosly
D)Clime out of the and try to keep the puke down
E)Try to get into the room you saw at the bottom and puke vigourosly

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:31 am UTC

by **blademan9999** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:42 am UTC

As you go down you see something, it looks like a MONSTER! There is a glowing sword and a little gun.
a) Slash it with the sword of destiny.
b) Just shoot it.

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:09 am UTC

b) Just shoot it.

by **blademan9999** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:11 am UTC

The bullet kills it.
You level up to level 2!

a) Dance.
b) Kill the narrator.

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:51 am UTC

/dance

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:25 am UTC

A) Macarena
B) Robot
C) Chicken
D) Electric Slide
E) Hokey Pokey
F) Y.M.C.A.
G) Walk Like An Egyptian

by **Evengeduld** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:13 am UTC

Y M C A

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:41 am UTC

You do the Y...M..C...A.
The dance alerts a bigger monster, the sword starts glowing,
A) Use the sword.
B) Shoot it.
C) 50MP Summon ninja squad.

by **Evengeduld** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:28 am UTC

ninja squad while I keep dancing

by **blademan9999** » Sat Jul 30, 2011 5:51 pm UTC

You summon the ninja squad, they take down the monster.
You level up to level 3.
A) Take quest.
B) Asplode the universe.

by **Sean Quixote** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:09 am UTC

by **darknut** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:32 am UTC

an alternate universe where the only difference is everyones thumbs is 1mm shorter is now no more
we go now to our own universe where a young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, is this young man's birthday.
Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?
A) Zoosmell Pooplord
B) John Egbert

by **cjdrum** » Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:51 am UTC

Homestuck? Really?

I'll choose B.

by **Poopenheimer** » Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:55 pm UTC

John proceeds to become a young and successful man. Will you...

a) Try to cash in on his success?
b) Kill him because if you had that name, you would also be successful
c) Burn your own birth certificate. (wut)

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:58 am UTC

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:26 am UTC

While burning your Birth certificate something else also start burning

A: Your Soul
B: Your Clothes
C: Nearby Forest

by **Poopenheimer** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:29 am UTC

by **blademan9999** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:57 am UTC

It was put out by a,
A) Pie.
B) Banana.
C) Squad of ninjas.

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:16 am UTC

by **thorgold** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:50 am UTC

The pie has done a face-heel turn, and must be stopped! Do you:
A) Eat its gooey insides
B) Eat its flaky outsides
C) Both A and B
D) Rip out and ingest its heart

by **darknut** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:24 am UTC

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:16 am UTC

Turns out that pie was an endangered pastry. The local authorities are chasing you! Do you...

A) Surrender and go to prison
B) Surrender and go to prison

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:04 pm UTC

C) Surrender and go to prison

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:07 pm UTC

You surrender and go to prison, and there's a man winking at you and blowing kisses. Do you...

A) Arrange to be bailed out
B) Tell the man you're not interested
C) Pick up the soap

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

Bail me out like Goldman Sachs!

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:45 pm UTC

You arrange to be bailed out. But there's a problem with the money. Do you...

A) Borrow money from the Don
B) Cash in on the generosity of a very distant cousin
C) Tell the guard you will no doubt earn enough money from your next criminal deed to pay off the bail if he lets you out

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:48 pm UTC

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:55 pm UTC

Oh no! Turns out the money he gave you was crime money too! The police are onto you. Do you...

A) Deny any affiliation with your cousin
B) Rat out your cousin
C) Allow them to put you in jail, and then escaping The Shawshank Redemption style

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:00 pm UTC

I thought I already was in jail, but okay. C sounds pretty good.

by **Poopenheimer** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:21 pm UTC

You get horrifically raped and beaten up for 2 years by "The sisters", you make a library, your student gets killed, and after 20 years of demeaning digging and suffering, you make it out. Only thing is, you can't remember the name of the fake bank account all the money went into. You turn up at the bank, and you have to think of something quick. Was the name...

A) Freddy Bullshi
B) Quincy.T.Quackyduck
C) The man with the plan
D) Mic

by **thorgold** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:36 pm UTC

C, but include the passphrase "There's a party in my pants, but I need funds for overhead costs."

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:32 pm UTC

AND:

A) "If I said you were beautiful, would you hold it against me?"
B) "Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"
C) "I'm going to need a glass of soft water, because I am hard."

by **darknut** » Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:07 am UTC

by **blademan9999** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:59 am UTC

A grue appears.
A) Slay it.
B) Do a barrel roll
C) Destroy pluto (WUT)

by **kaimason1** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:01 pm UTC

B) Do a barrel roll

by **blademan9999** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:11 am UTC

How epic is it.
A) Not epic
B) Kinda epic.
C) Epic
D) Epicly Epic
E) More Epic then Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Mr.T put together are.

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