xkcd

by **Giant Speck** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:05 pm UTC

The only thing I can remember is that I was trying to buy a new laptop, all the while asking myself why the hell I needed another laptop when I already have three at home.

by **Deva** » Mon Jun 13, 2011 5:21 pm UTC

Was a child with a condition called "The Eeks". May have just been what she/he called it. Involves strong hallucinations of pain and death. General flow of one dream day:
1. Arrive at school.
2. Leave school.
3. Hallucinate.
Knows that each day was distinct. Hallucinated that I was in a car accident that killed the other passengers for one day. Was always a friend or family member who died. Became wounded on another day. Felt the trickle of blood down my arm.

Approached me at the beginning of the fourth dream day. Never saw her on any of the other days. Asked me if there was something that was being overlooked or forgotten in this story. Might be the real cause of this situation. Spotted a scruffy male shortly after. Recognized him from at least two other days as I left school. Always began hallucinating a minute or two later. Seemed like a likely trigger.

Lost any semblance of control at this point. Grabbed a knife (do not question where weapons appear from) and attacked him. Was more prepared for a brawl than I was. Possessed a gun and a gigantic crossbow. Drew first blood by hurling the knife. Failed to stop him, so I fled. Acquired a sturdy plastic sword as I ran, though I knew its offensive capabilities were nil. Was eventually cornered. Fired his crossbow. Attempted to halt/deflect the bolt with my sword.

Wonders if that was a "real" action or the fourth hallucination. Woke up at that point, though. Was relieved to be conscious.

by **Ethofumesate** » Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:49 am UTC

Probably the most embarrassing dream I've ever had. So embarrassing In fact that I created a throwaway account just to post this.

I was standing in the playground of my old primary school. I put on a sort of skin-tight superhero costume that made me muscly. I looked at myself and then I CUMMED. I tried not to attract the attention of the people in front of me playing sports. I had to find a bathroom where I could clean myself up. Trouble was, all the bathrooms had moved from where I remembered they were, and I could not find one. Then the bell rang and break time started. This one bathroom I found had a massive queue of people from my university.

I went in through the main corridor, past Gordon Brown, who was walking the other way. I found a teacher from my high school. She told me where the bathrooms were. I found a bathroom that could only be accessed by going through an art classroom. Some of my old teaching assistants were outside, and they showed me how to get in. The bathroom had a glass wall and a metal shutter that guaranteed privacy. I cleaned myself up in there. I was looking forward to getting outside and telling them how badly designed their building was, but the dream ended there.

I woke up in my hotel room, mulled over the dream for a moment, then checked my pants and found out that the first part of the dream had actually happened.

by **Sweeney_Todd** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:28 am UTC

I had this terrifying dream. It was where I had raw egg on my hands and couldn't wash it off. I (being slightly germaphobic) found this incredibly scary. I also had a dream where we had to do lots of work at school, but I kept insisting that we don't need to do it because it was a dream. No one would believe me, but when I woke up, I burst out saying "I told you so," even though no one was there.

by **You, sir, name?** » Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:51 am UTC

There was something about quantum transport theory, and then we were going to defeat some monster-of-the-week type thing by spreading yeast extract on a boat, and then the alarm clock rang.

by **Sytri** » Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:04 am UTC

I dreamt I was Jon Snow fighting off a rebellion at the Wall.

I watch and read way too much Game of Thrones

Edit for my dream last week: Dreamt that Apple had invented an iTransporter app and I was zooming my way around the country going to all the festivals and seeing all my friends. Sucked when I woke up and realised that I had to use public transport like everyone else

by **Felstaff** » Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:05 am UTC

I got a deep gash in my chest after the edge of a belt sander vzzzzzzzzzdt! into it. It sliced from my clavicle to my armpit. Earlier on in the dream I had a similar, but smaller, gash sliced there, so this accident sliced into my flesh on the top of another slicey injury. There was so much blood!

Later on the dream I looked down and found my arm was gangrenous and the whole area around the shoulder had withered to a brownish-purple mess.

When I awoke I ripped off my pyjama top to check none of it was real. It did feel real, and I felt real pain!

by **deskjethp** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:05 am UTC

Dream: A girl on sidewalk asks me if I want to go "8 bit skating." Naturally I say yes. She says we are going to do the 100 bit 8 bit skating tour, which I figure will take like a week. So I start going down the sidewalk and all of a sudden we're in this room with 2 beds. I can only sleep if I don't touch the floor because there is a leech on the floor. We get it trapped in a jar and then I fall asleep in a strange position. The next day we're going along with the goal to get to the east side of wherever we were, and get to "the long stone debris wall" in the middle of some woods. She says she is going to go talk to someone about our progress. Since she's gone, and I'm not sure what is going to happen next, I figure this is a good point to save. I then figure that she knows the area better than I do, so I might as well get a head start to the east. I then end up on at the end of a peninsula which only exists to trick people into thinking they are making eastward progress even though they aren't really because they will just end up at the end of the peninsula with nowhere to go. By the time I figure this out, she had returned and gone east the right way. The goal was now to make it across the river. The three choices were 1) pay the beaver "30 or 40 gold" to take the ferry (This was fast, but expensive, and I didn't have 30 or 40 gold yet because I was just starting.) 2) Take the raft across the river, or 3) make your own device to get across. So she gets on the ferry and starts across, leaving me on the west side because I couldn't pay and didn't have time to tell her to pay for me. I figure I'll take the raft. I get on the raft, and end up going eastward into this swampy area that won't get me to the path on the east side. I then have to paddle my way westward until I get to the shore. So now I figure I have to make my own thing to get across with. No problem. I find a black inner tube in a drawer and start blowing it up. I'm just about to close the inner tube when I figure out I have to close it from the back. All of a sudden I have a birds eye view of a room shaped like one of those congressional meeting rooms. The tube is behind some guy sitting on a bench in the front of the room. In order to get the tube closed, I have to have him close it because I am not supposed to go down there. For some reason, this would best be done if I could see from behind him. So I rotate the camera angle, as it were, but can't get it so I can see behind him, only on top of him. All of a sudden I'm down there, sort of off to the side, and figure I'll just get it closed myself. So I manage to shove it into position from the front (whatever that meant, I pushed it upward sort of into this space) and was going to go around the back when I noticed someone was watching me. I quickly rushed off to the side. I could now hear the people talking. Someone guy from Google was on trial for something. Whatever it was it was important because they were talking about what precedent might be set with this case. I'm just about to sneak around back and close the tube when I wake up.

by **podbaydoor** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:15 am UTC

Living in a cabin, in the snowy woods, on the run and hiding from something. With my younger sister, and two brothers whom we'd met while on the run. Blond and all-American. The older brother and I would go out and do chores. He kissed me while we were in the woods.

by **Magnanimous** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:21 am UTC

Felltir died, and everyone got really sad. We had a fora-funeral... somehow.

by **Inglonias** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 2:12 pm UTC

This morning I dreamt that I had woken up at 2:30 PM. No biggy. It's summer after all. Then I realized the date. It was Monday. Monday, June 27. The first day of my internship, and I was missing work. I started to freak out, and then I "woke up". I realized that I had dreamt that the time was (x^2)(x^2)(2x^2) (I don't even know, don't ask.) and that I wasn't late at all. I went to McDonalds (because apparently my NASA internship is at McDonalds now) and I look at the clock and realize that yes. The time was 2:30 when I woke up. Now it was 3:15. I go to the bathroom and try to inform my parents with my phone, but there isn't any reception. I wake up as the tone goes off...

by **Ephemeron** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 7:23 pm UTC

I dreamed I saw an alignment of the planets through my bedroom window. Mars looked slightly bigger than the moon did (both were small, but bigger than stars). I took several pictures.

Don't you hate it when your precious photos are all gone when you wake up?

(My 200th post!)

by **Lorenz** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 7:39 pm UTC

Inglonias wrote: I realized that I had dreamt that the time was (x^2)(x^2)(2x^2) (I don't even know, don't ask.)

That is amazing, the same thing happens to me often (especially when I am sick). I start thinking of the time as things similar to what you describe, but decide I can sleep some more because dressing up takes e^{2x}+2x^3 (not seconds, minutes, or any other unit of time), and then start making some algebraic manipulations until I am fully dressed.
I get many variations of this, and while dreaming, I think to myself I am a genius for figuring it out this and that way to dress/eat/get to university. Once I wake up I can never understand what kind of silly things I was thinking.

by **Aleril** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:15 pm UTC

I was on vacation through time with my mother in 1970. We were going into a hotel that had been torn down in the 1980s, and the overall feel and way the workers acted made me think Star Trek. We were going through some sort of welcoming process, and the elevator was extremely jarring, moving back and forth at extremely fast speeds. After me and my mother broke off from the welcoming party (which I am pretty sure people started disappearing from) I started to sing in an operatic fashion about how "This too shall pass" after a comment on how the hotel was once a field of grass.

Then I woke up.

by **Magnanimous** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:55 pm UTC

I was watching an episode of Modern Family with a dog in it before I went to sleep, and my dream was about how I had to kill the dog every day then bring it back to life. It was a little weird. (Also I wonder if killing animals in your dreams is a bad sign...)

by **emceng** » Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:13 pm UTC

Had three nights of weird dreams. Can't remember the first night, though they were depressing/maddening.

Night two: Got fired from my job. Proceeded to be super, super pissed about it. Raged, and raged. Was driving around like a maniac. All of a sudden I realized it wasn't all bad - I said fuck it, I'm going to enjoy the whole summer, and not have a job. Then went to a Dunkin Donuts. Tried to buy creme filled donuts, but they said they were out of them, despite having some on the shelf. Bought other donuts, then left.

Driving along a road and saw a hitchhiker - young, cute girl. Stopped and picked her up, then went back to her house. Started fooling around or something. She asked for my phone number, so I gave it to her. Then got a spam text message(from her). Then her dad came in, and he was Peter North. They started doing it in the middle of the living room, and invited me to join in. I was freaked out, and left - but stole what I thought was the girl's phone because I was pissed about the spam text message. Turns out it was a Nintendo DS. Tried to leave, but had troubles because there was so much traffic.

Then I was in a bar in Germany, during the Cold War. Noticed that the top of the bar was marble, and under it there was a drawer. Somehow figured this was where spies left info for each other.

Was in a warehouse trying to hide from/avoid guards - possibly Russian. I was a young kid, and there was another kid there. We were able to avoid the guards, but I think the other kid was able to turn invisible.

Night three: Only remember part. Was in a dirtbike races with some Turks. It was very overcast, and kind of rainy. Very dark. Course was muddy, had 10 foot mounds of dirt along the sides. Somehow if I won the dirtbike race the Turks would join the US side of the Cold War. We stopped the race halfway through due to rain, but mainly just because we wanted to hang out.

by **Aikanaro** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:06 am UTC

I just dreamed I was a Green Lantern......fighting Daleks. And yes, 11th Doctor was there, minorly disapproving the large amounts of violence, but not really doing anything about it.

And yes, reality is now pure Disappointmentium for me.

PROTIP: Eyestalks? NEVER yellow!

by **Nomic** » Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:48 pm UTC

I don't usually dream (or perhaps I just forget what I dreamt before I wake up) but last week I had a dream that there was a zombie apocalypse. I also had happened to have booked myself a ticket on a ship leaving from the terminal near my house, so I headed there, figuring I'd be safe from zombies in the middle of the sea. I made my way to the ship, running away from any zombies I encountered. On the way there I ran into a girl who was also chased by zombies. I grabbed hold of her and told her to follow me, and together we made it to the boat. After that the dream got kinda boring as it just consisted of being on the ship and hoping that we'd have enough suplies to last untill the zombie situation got resolved.

by **Sarr** » Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:13 pm UTC

All I remember is listening to a rather large man reading a poem he had composed about keeping a Balor in his closet, which I tied to "Bat out of Hell" for some reason, and someone next to me was complaining that it was just going to be references to coming out of the closet.

Yeah, I'm not sure what was up with my mind last night.

by **The Scyphozoa** » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:00 pm UTC

About a week ago I had a dream in which I lived in a house with several people from my school. None of my friends were there, just acquaintances. I went "home" and they were all acting different, calling each other by names that weren't their real names (the girl who in real life is named "Jocelyn" introduced herself as "Alex"...). They had no memory of me, and just assumed I was just the "new guy" at this house where high schoolers live together for some reason. I tried to convince them of their real names, but they just got annoyed.

Also, the back part of the house and the backyard looked like Shi No Numa from Nazi Zombies. It was like a wooden shed with barrels and boxes, in a swamp. And there were even the windows that zombies could climb through, but you could go outside into a swamp area anyway. The rest of the house looked like mine, but nicer. The people acting strange thing didn't scare me much, I was just like, "Well, I guess I have to fix this. Fuck."

And then I left the house, which was on a really high cliff above a river in a jungle-type setting. And at some parts, the rock that the cliff was made of was super heated and glowing red, but with the vines still growing over it. And I had vines hanging down (I don't know from where, because I don't remember any trees) that I could use to half-swing, half-walk along the hot parts of the cliff so my bare feet didn't get burned.

by **Mous** » Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:11 pm UTC

Something about IRC and neopets and someone who really hated me on both.

by **Felstaff** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:19 am UTC

You know how those stock market graphs go? Well, I was working for a friend's $company, and I had to paint one of those on the wall of the office, across the entire wall, like 30 feet, detailing my own performance (at $company), so naturally I cheated and inflated my scores, using some massaged figures obtained from my friend (who was desperate to see me do well at $company). In fact, I cheated damn well--untraceable fraud!--but honesty got the better of me and I let it out to another colleague to stop the endless pangs of guilt.

That didn't matter though, as I was concentrating on trying to smoke a pipe, but it turned out to be a kettle.

Then came the mural/tapestry/mosaic! Oh, it was wonderful (at first). The jaggedy line of the graph, detailing my performance, was roughly a foot in girth, and 10.2 metres in length, and I was tasked with turning it into a mosaic, using 1"x 1" squares of shiny, colourful stones. We went with a videogame theme, and I found myself with a mosaic-stamp that made a perfect Mario Question Mark Box:

Everyone else in the company finished the rest of the tapestry in doubleplusquick time, and I was left with a blank white area, at the very beginning of the mosaic line, and I couldn't find the correctly-coloured stone and glass cubes to finish the mosaic! I tried GIS'ing "Sonic The Hedgehog" on my phone, but instead of stock images I got a bunch of dystopic DeviantArt-esque nightmarescapes of Sonic in some kind of post-apocalyptic setting, (basically a Sonic version of this) and no jolly 16-bit images in which I could mosai (the act of creating a mosaic).

I panicked and awoke instantly, literally one minute before my alarm went off. I hadn't moved a muscle all night; I was in the exact position I laid down in bed last night, and my hair--instead of being bed-hair--was remarkably kempt and unmoved. Even when meditating my hair likes to dance.

by **RoadieRich** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:37 am UTC

I only remember a little bit of it: I was part of a team of assassins setting up in a girls' school built in a country house. My first task was to check all the windows in two gymnasiums, which I did by opening the curtains with one of the two stiletto knives I was holding. Later, I was interrupted by being asked to collect a blood sample from the principle. When we explained what we needed, she said she didn't I needles, I explained it wasn't a problem, we used a knife, which until that point had been concealed behind my leg. The principle was quite accepting of that, figuring it would make an intersting story to tell the students. I woke up just before making the cut.

The blades were interesting, they appeared to be made of wood, were about a 8-12inches long, and had a razor-sharp point. I also think we were there to protect the principle, but I'm not entirely sure how I know that. It also felt as if I was female - I've no idea why, there were male and female assassins on the team.

by **Kang** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 3:06 pm UTC

I don't remember much about my dream, but it was one of those that make you turn around two or three times looking for somebody upon waking up.

by **Felstaff** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:02 am UTC

The storm outside last night affected my dream. I was in 'Gotham/Inception City' - i.e. the architecture was very Nolanesque; sharp-cornered buildings of glass and metal, with strong, dark, moody contrasts. You know; buildings so crisp and defined you could set your watch by them.

I was inside, and a storm raged out the window. It was a highly destructive, intermittent squall. One moment it was calm, and possibly sunny, and then whoomph - a typhoon of hail battered the whole city sideways. The hail was accompanied by coal-black cloud that whipped between the buildings, sending all to darkness, but would only last a few seconds. I looked out the window again; destruction. Many buildings withstood the beating, but cars, trees, telegraph poles and detritus from weaker buildings littered the flooded streets. Wave after wave of differing styles of natural phenomena sent a barrage of heavy blows down on the city. The building I was in groaned and complained like a tired train carriage easing into a terminal, but stood firm.

The tumult passed; I went outside to see the destruction. It was worse than I realised, as I picked my way through rubble. I found myself in a pub, relatively untouched by the tempest, but there was concrete dust on the red velvet curtains. The pub was more like a living room with a bar attached. My friend Stephen was there; he seemed unperturbed by the maelstrom. There was no barman, so I poured us both a Laphroaig. I don't recall drinking it, but I do remember suggesting we find a good vodka. I didn't like the company he was with; insufferable and uncouth. I suggested we moved to another room.

There was a large oppressive door at the far end. I couldn't open it.

by **Ephemeron** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:26 pm UTC

Spoilered for potentially disturbing.

Spoiler:

I don't watch horror movies or play violent video games. Nor have I witnessed anything like this in real life. I don't know how or why my mind comes up with this Nightmare Fuel.

by **thorgold** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:53 am UTC

Son of a BITCH. Two dreams last night:

1. Woke up, was at a construction site. Got trapped in a Port-O-John (that was more like the Tardis in terms of interior) and hauled away on a forklift. Ended up in the middle of nowhere, used a highway emergency phone to call my dad. I had a four-wheel ATV, but and knew I was right up the road.

What pisses me off is that, when I got off the phone and said I stopped and thought "Wait, wait, wait. This is a dream." I tried to throw a car into the air with my mind, and then I felt stupid and said "This isn't a dream, you have to get yourself out of this" (some unremembered detail made this a very serious situation requiring action). I was lucid for a few seconds, then lost it

Woke up when I got stuck in a physics paradox. At least my brain knows something's up when an ATV crashes into an invisible barrier (a la FPS games).

2. Fell asleep again, but I had a brief panic attack during my wakefulness due to a particularly bad case of Creepypasta. See, I just found my old N64 in the attic, along with my LoZ collection. I was playing Majora's Mask and stumbled upon the "Ben Drowned" creepypasta and its associated ARG. I am STILL scared shitless. My nightmare pretty much was a direct copy of the creepypasta - Elegy Statue following me around, Happy Mask Salesman popping up and laughing at me, me exploding at random intervals, and that DAMN Elegy Statue whisphering "You shouldn't have done that" every time I took a step.

by **You, sir, name?** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:09 am UTC

I remember my mother cooking an umbrella in the oven "to make it smaller". Also possibly something about fish.

by **thorgold** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:53 am UTC

Slender Man. Fuck my dreams (and small, dark room).

by **casoid** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:14 am UTC

Not so much last night, but I had a recurring dream (though nightmare is probably a better word) when we were on Workup last year (Americans call it 'Shakedown', I think). Probably has something to do with being extremely tired and rather stressed, but it was quite unsettling.
I dreamed I was being attacked by two or more people, and for some reason I was unable to move quickly, and had slowed and blurred perception and vision, like... swimming in molasses while extremely drunk, to stretch an analogy beyond recognition. This meant I was unable to defend myself, or react with anything other than fear and confusion while people kicked the hell out of me. It says something about the vividness of the dream that I still remember it with some discomfort after nine months. To make things worse, I was aware on some level that it was a dream, and couldn't understand why I couldn't wake myself up. This was inevitably followed by a period of... I don't quite know what to call it, perhaps some variety of sleep paralysis, where I was fully aware of where I was but unable to move or speak or even think straight.

In short, not the most fun I've ever had in bed. Anyone want to have a go at explaining what's wrong with my head?

by **Ephemeron** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 12:47 pm UTC

I dreamed about... paperclips. We didn't have enough paperclips because people kept losing them. A bit of a comedown after the dismemberment dream I had two weeks ago (see above).

by **JackassLeo** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:46 pm UTC

I remember most of my dreams, my favorite was when I was standing at a roulette table wearing a t-shirt which had the tuxedo print on it. I was winning, and naturally it was the scene from movies where the ladies show up. The asked who I was, I said Double O R.....P Double O R and all the girls said "Ooooo, he's military." and I replied "O Ya baby."

by **maxmillean** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:26 pm UTC

When I dream it usually is like watching a movie. It usually starts out with me being me, but then I'll start seeing things from either another person's perspective or just a third person view, most of the time showing me things that are happening that I may or may not notice if I were still me. I can never remember an entire dream only bits a pieces of them as if (using the movie analogy) I started in the middle and wake up before the end.

With that in mind two nights ago I had a dream that was quite fun. It started out with me walking from the beginning of my street. As I was walking I was looking around in the sky and began seeing a bunch of giant monsters, like ones from godzilla and other japanese monster movies, flying around (saw king ghidora, rodan, a mothra variant attacking a space shuttle and crashing, and a few others that I don't think are actually from anything). Some how I knew they were not actual monsters, but instead were animatronic puppets that were being used as a giant publicity stunt to get people interested in giant monsters again. I eventually got home super excited about all that was going on. I began talking to an asian girl about the stuff I had been seeing and it turned out an ant from Them! was in my backyard. Can't remember what happen from there.

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in a fancy pool with a girl from high school and I think a WWE wrestler was there too. I was talking to the girl, but can't remember what was said. At some point I ended up in a cafeteria, or library and sat down at a table with the same girl, on the other side (there was one table with two people at it and the rest were empty) and closed my eyes to go to sleep. She got up walked over to where I was, said something, and then we are in another room and that is where it ends.

by **phlip** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:03 am UTC

OK, so I was in a library, explaining some maths stuff to some friends (this had fed in from another dream involving a maths class - the library started out as a school library, but ended as a public library), except this one kid kept coming over and harassing me, and generally being a dick. I keep trying to get him to leave, and at one point I hit him with my notebook. And then he's all "Oh, so hitting people with books is OK?", leaves, and comes back with these four huge books (like, comically huge, tens of thousands of pages each, he can barely carry them) and throws them at me. I managed to deflect the books and toss them aside, and I start berating this kid, but it turns out that when I tossed the books aside, one had hit someone else, and killed them (I said they were big books). And that person turns out to be a mafia boss. So now I have the mafia thinking I killed their boss, and many hitmen coming after me for revenge.

So now dream logic kicks in and several days pass via montage, except I'm still in the same library, at the same time. My friends and I are doing research (it is a library, after all) to try to find the evidence that'll convince the mafia that it wasn't my fault. For some reason this involves the usual library research stuff - looking through books and such. In the process I learn that the book that actually did the killing blow was a manifesto of a guy who believed that the entire universe was a delirium hallucination by God, who had eaten some bad chilli the night before, and once the food poisoning passes, the universe will end. Meanwhile, I'm continually having to fight off and/or evade these mafia hitmen. Eventually, I do get shot by one of them, though luckily by this point I'm wearing a bullet-proof vest (no idea where I got it - dream logic means I decided I was already wearing it, after I got shot). I fell down onto the ground, and had fake blood coming out of where I was shot, in the hope that if they thought I was dead they'd leave me alone. Dream logic again prevails, and the mafia guy doesn't even think to come over and check on me, and no-one in the library thinks to do anything about this apparently dead body lying there, so I'm able to wait until that night, when the library closes.

So now I'm stuck in the library - I can't leave, or blow my dead-guy cover. So I try to keep up the researching, but then someone comes in. I don't know who it is - maybe another mafia guy just making sure, or the police come to rescue me, or my father, who was supposed to pick me up after school (remember, this started out as a school dream). Just to be safe, I hide under one of the desks. And just as the guy walks by in front of the desk... I wake up, absolutely terrified.

by **SummerGlauFan** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:41 am UTC

In my dream, I was inside some sort of underground base/bunker/warehouse after an apocalypse of some kind. A force of soldiers, robots, necromancers and other assorted bad/creepy guys were searching the facility. They were looking for something particular, but also knew I was there.

I used a form of stealth suit to sneak around them, sabotaging their search, killing a couple of isolated guys, and generally trying not to get found in the process. I subsequently discovered I had telekinetic abilities! I blasted a group of guys, and scrunched up a robot into a chunk of scrap and threw it at some more. I beat a hasty retreat because they called in more guys from outside. I think I knocked over a big stack of enormous metal crates (either onto some of them, or just in the way). I got to the entrance (only way in or out, and was a 3-foot-thick door) and used my abilities to pull it shut. I stabbed the controls for good measure.

Lo and behold, a pair of freaky robed dudes were standing in the entrance room with me, and some sort of black flames leaped into their hands. I blasted at them with some form of energy (reminds me of Force Lightning) and tried to avoid the fireballs they threw at me. I beat a hasty retreat as some sort of dragon/snake-like creature came through a portal in the wall. Then I woke up.

I also dreamed that I was IN a game of Left 4 Dead, only our map was a copy of my hometown. We even went into my church.

by **Ptolom** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:01 am UTC

I watched I, Robot before going to bed and then spent the night designing a robotic car tuning system in my dreams. I can understand the robotic, but where did car tuning come from? I've never driven a car in my life. And why did I use a web interface?

by **modularblues** » Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:37 pm UTC

My university gave me $3000 more than my usual amount of quarterly stipend. I was not happy after realizing it was only a dream.

by **Hofstadter'sLaw** » Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:05 am UTC

The only thing I remember from my dream last night was that I drank three 3oz cups (the kind people keep in bathrooms) of coffee. I was trying to be stealthy about it for some reason.

I've never actually had coffee before. fO.o

by **emceng** » Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:37 pm UTC

Damn, wish I'm remembered this earlier. Had a dream Wednesday or Thursday night:

Was outside the house I grew up in, but the backyard was more a big field, and my family were all there. Saw the space shuttle take off nearby after something I was watching or chasing flew inside the big booster rocket. The shuttle started doing crazy loops and it had fireballs coming out of the booster rocket. Then it started to crash, right where I was standing. It essentially was coming right for me, and I thought I should get out of the way. Instead I just stood there, and the nose ended up missing me to my left by just a little bit. So it essentially crashed right through the area I was standing, but somehow the wing didn't hit me. Once it was done crashing I ran over to see if anyone was hurt.

by **Brace** » Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:47 pm UTC

I just had the weirdest dream. It would be pretty questionable if it were just a story, so plz don't judge, I'm wierded out by it too.

There were a pair of military officer "bad guys". By that I mean, the uniform, modus operendi and I think accent all fit the gestalt for Nazi's. They were chasing a pair of artifact hunters on a remote tropical island, which contained the ruins of an ancient civilization. One of the officers, the younger and prettier one, was carrying a stuffed animal clipped to his belt for some reason. There was shootout and chase as the artifact hunters were located, but they were very quick on their feet and it seemed like they escaped, to an area on the island where half of a large structure was underwater and half was above. They were mucking around in there looking for something important. They found it, but when they surfaced the officers were waiting. The officers pulled them up and beat them severely, all while saying generic bad guy things ("you two have been quite the thorn in our side", "I'm glad we could bring this to a satisfactory conclusion"). One of the two hunters was handcuffed and thrown into the water. They were about to shoot the other one, but he managed to compose himself long enough to kick the gun away and then dive into the water himself. The younger officer was about to give chase, but the older one signaled "no", and they went outside. With a glance and a nod, the younger officer said a strange word in an exotic foreign language. Then he giggled. The older officer rolled his eyes, then corrected his pronunciation and added an extra several words. Suddenly, the sky darkened and every bird on the island took flight. The officers squinted at the dark sky, at what looked like a large grey cloud that traced the horizon... and then realized it was a tidal wave. "A bit larger than expected", quips the older officer, "Do you have the animal?" The younger officer reaches for the stuffed animal on his belt, only to realize it is gone. Panicked, he rushes back into the ruins and dives underwater. After swimming down for a ways, he finds the artifact hunter who was handcuffed. He is sitting propped up against a wall, smiling, but otherwise perfectly still. It is ambivalent whether he is living or dead. The officer looks around for a bit, sees that the passages go on for too long, then surfaces. "Anything?" "No". "No matter, we can still use the Lusinger technique. You saw those dogs earlier, right?"

So the officers began to wander up the hill, towards a cave carved into the hillside by a waterfall. It had been made into an army encampment of some kind, abandoned in the relatively recent past. The dogs must have been brought along for some reason. The two officers began to search the area, then located a small husky puppy. Seeing it, they promptly and unceremoniously kicked it to death, then picked up its corpse and made their way to the barracks where there was a kitchen. Grabbing a blender, they threw the dead husky inside, put the lid on top, and hit the highest setting. "Exactly 4ml * (body weight * .8 ) husky", says the younger. "We don't have time", says the older. He promptly drinks half the blend, making it look easy. He then hands it over to the younger, who is looking nauseous. "Drink!" he snaps. The younger complies with his duty, then stands there for a moment getting a hold on himself. "Come on" says the elder. By now the sound of the wave can be heard. The two walk along the hillside towards the waterfall, making jokes to lighten the mood, talking about pop culture and women and other lighthearted subjects. When they get to the waterfall (which is on the opposite side of the hill from the approaching tidal wave), they walk underneath it and sit down with their backs braced against the hillside. They then sit there, with a sort of disciplined forced calmness, and breathe. And breathe. And breathe. Then everything goes black...

The younger officer wakes up, after who even knows how long, and begins to swim. Then he thinks better of himself and opens his eyes, to try and discern which way is up and which is down. Discerning what he thinks is a pattern, he reverts to swimming, and swimming, and swimming, and swimming... it goes on like this for 5 minutes or so. Finally, somehow, he surfaces. Around him is some sort of sea-based village, with houses and shops built on pontoons, and waterwheels providing electricity. Boats are anchored to small docks built into each of these structures. It is bright and sunny, and bears no resemblance to the civilization he once knew. He begins to swim towards the closest dock...

Who is online