xkcd

by **FreyasSpirit** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:16 am UTC

Made an appointment with an endo for the end of september ^_^

I've been trying to search to see if she's trans friendly, but haven't been able to find anything. Also unsure of whether they'd make me see a therapist at all (or if seeing one would be helpful), but it feels good to be actively taking steps.

by **superglucose** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:48 am UTC

I think a therapist would be a good idea either way. I know I wish I'd seen an LGBT friendly therapist instead of the one I did (who my mom met through her church).

by **scienceroboticspunk** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:50 am UTC

PictureSarah - mostly just general clothes to just wear normally. A cute top or two and some nice pants. I am not looking for anything special, but if I find something I really like I'd probably end up getting it.

Sarr - that site looks awesome. thank you

by **superglucose** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:53 am UTC

Oh I want to add an adendum to that last bit: my therapist was awesome and amazing and he really helped me move my life back in order. He saw what was important to me and what was going to make me happy and vocalized it to me and helped get my mom and stepdad off my ass.

I just can't talk to him about my gender confusion.

by **scienceroboticspunk** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:55 am UTC

I agree that therapists help. It might take time to find the one that fits

by **Monika** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:31 pm UTC

Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit (Trigger warning: descriptions of physical violence.)

by **PictureSarah** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:50 pm UTC

scienceroboticspunk wrote:PictureSarah - mostly just general clothes to just wear normally. A cute top or two and some nice pants. I am not looking for anything special, but if I find something I really like I'd probably end up getting it.

I don't know what your budget is like, but there's a thrift store in Cambridge, called The Garment District, that I'm sure is very trans-friendly, and is also very cool. Other than that, nothing springs immediately to mind, but I'd say you're actually probably safe in *most* shops (especially the shops that are not huge chain shops) in Boston and Cambridge. It's a fairly permissive, LGBTQTCAN'TREMEMBERALLTHELETTERSOHNO!-friendly city.

by **Brace** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 5:41 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit (Trigger warning: descriptions of physical violence.)

That's about how things went when I came out to my father as trans.

by **superglucose** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:41 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:
scienceroboticspunk wrote:PictureSarah - mostly just general clothes to just wear normally. A cute top or two and some nice pants. I am not looking for anything special, but if I find something I really like I'd probably end up getting it.

I don't know what your budget is like, but there's a thrift store in Cambridge, called The Garment District, that I'm sure is very trans-friendly, and is also very cool. Other than that, nothing springs immediately to mind, but I'd say you're actually probably safe in *most* shops (especially the shops that are not huge chain shops) in Boston and Cambridge. It's a fairly permissive, LGBTQTCAN'TREMEMBERALLTHELETTERSOHNO!-friendly city.

Are they ok with just regular crossdressing even if I'm male and a man?

by **rath358** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:17 pm UTC

If anyone is still thinking about the NPR story I posted about a few days ago, Peterson did a follow-up blog post about it. I found the post very insightful.

by **PictureSarah** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:49 pm UTC

superglucose wrote:
PictureSarah wrote:
scienceroboticspunk wrote:PictureSarah - mostly just general clothes to just wear normally. A cute top or two and some nice pants. I am not looking for anything special, but if I find something I really like I'd probably end up getting it.

I don't know what your budget is like, but there's a thrift store in Cambridge, called The Garment District, that I'm sure is very trans-friendly, and is also very cool. Other than that, nothing springs immediately to mind, but I'd say you're actually probably safe in *most* shops (especially the shops that are not huge chain shops) in Boston and Cambridge. It's a fairly permissive, LGBTQTCAN'TREMEMBERALLTHELETTERSOHNO!-friendly city.

Are they ok with just regular crossdressing even if I'm male and a man?

I don't imagine anyone at The Garment District really cares/notices. People shop there a lot for costumes, performance art, crossdressing, etc., so it's no big thing. At some of the other stores in the area...you might get some quizzical looks, but I don't think anyone would come right out with hostility or rudeness? At the mall or something, it might be a different story.

Website · by **Sandry** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 5:25 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:
superglucose wrote:
PictureSarah wrote:
scienceroboticspunk wrote:PictureSarah - mostly just general clothes to just wear normally. A cute top or two and some nice pants. I am not looking for anything special, but if I find something I really like I'd probably end up getting it.

I don't know what your budget is like, but there's a thrift store in Cambridge, called The Garment District, that I'm sure is very trans-friendly, and is also very cool. Other than that, nothing springs immediately to mind, but I'd say you're actually probably safe in *most* shops (especially the shops that are not huge chain shops) in Boston and Cambridge. It's a fairly permissive, LGBTQTCAN'TREMEMBERALLTHELETTERSOHNO!-friendly city.

Are they ok with just regular crossdressing even if I'm male and a man?

I don't imagine anyone at The Garment District really cares/notices. People shop there a lot for costumes, performance art, crossdressing, etc., so it's no big thing. At some of the other stores in the area...you might get some quizzical looks, but I don't think anyone would come right out with hostility or rudeness? At the mall or something, it might be a different story.

The Garment District specifically has shoes that are huge, heeled sparkly things in men's sizes. They have ridiculous and amazing masks, wigs, boas, purses, sunglasses, fedoras, and clothes of every cut, decade, color, size... Basically: they are expecting you to be a punk, a creative, a BAMF... whoever you are, whatever you bring, just bring your awesome.

I need to go soon, now that I think of it.

...I do love this city.

by **Jessica** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:07 pm UTC

Personal experience ahead - take with proper portions of salt.

When I was first dressing and buying clothes, I was terrified of going out alone. I always brought a female friend with me. My anxiety was so high, that I was watching everyone and constantly looking over my shoulders. In hindsight, no one seemed to notice or care. I started to work up the courage to shop alone as well, still presenting as male. Again, no major problems, other than my self inflicted anxiety. I tried things on rarely, but even when I did, no one commented.

Of course, when I was presenting as female, I felt more comfortable all around, and felt more like I had a right to be there.

My experience was on the tame side. I'm not saying bad shit won't or can't happen, but that I didn't really experience much hostility from others when shopping.

by **Bassoon** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:19 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:Personal experience ahead - take with proper portions of salt.

When I was first dressing and buying clothes, I was terrified of going out alone. I always brought a female friend with me. My anxiety was so high, that I was watching everyone and constantly looking over my shoulders. In hindsight, no one seemed to notice or care. I started to work up the courage to shop alone as well, still presenting as male. Again, no major problems, other than my self inflicted anxiety. I tried things on rarely, but even when I did, no one commented.

Of course, when I was presenting as female, I felt more comfortable all around, and felt more like I had a right to be there.

My experience was on the tame side. I'm not saying bad shit won't or can't happen, but that I didn't really experience much hostility from others when shopping.

My friend said the exact same thing. Zie was afraid to do it alone because of what people would think, but zie brought a male friend along (the two of them were presenting as guys at the time) and nothing bad happened, even then. Like Jessica said. I'm not discounting the ability for bad things to happen, but from what my friend said, nothing particularly awful happened. Zie said everyone was nice to hir and didn't make an issue of it.

by **Aaeriele** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:47 pm UTC

Experience definitely helps - like sticking your little toe in the pool. Once you get accustomed to it, it's not such a big thing.

by **Shivahn** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:22 pm UTC

I'll fourth that. I still feel a bit out of place, but I know it's just me - no one else ever seems to care.

I still go out with girl friends when I can, but mostly because they're fun to be with and shop with.

by **kinigget** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 3:45 am UTC

okay, I finally finished reading the thread from the very beginning. I must say, you lot are an amazing bunch of people, reading all your stories made me realize that so far I've been one of the lucky ones. Additionally, I know that I'm in a better place than I would have been had I not known about this thread, you've been more helpful to me than even I am probably aware of. I know that probably doesn't mean much, but in the quite short time I've even really been aware of this thread I've grown rather attached to you all.

Hugs all around.

(p.s. I had to read part of this thread upside down, one of my cats managed to flip my laptop's monitor, I did eventually manage to fix it though)

by **Monika** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:44 am UTC

"cat", a synonym for "mischief"

Website · by **The EGE** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:58 pm UTC

How did a cat manage to hit [Ctrl] + [Alt] + [downarrow]?

Oop, wait, Monika covered that.

by **kinigget** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:36 pm UTC

Monika wrote:"cat", a synonym for "mischief"

especially the one who walked on my keyboard. The little twerp is quite clever.

by **Jessica** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:25 pm UTC

I love/hate it when my cat walks across my keyboard/monitor.

by **feyayeruka** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:01 am UTC

girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. feeling blue.

by **FreyasSpirit** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:04 am UTC

*hugs*

by **natashatasha** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:09 am UTC

Summoned up the courage to tell a friend about being trans today. I had put it off for a long time, but had finally managed to type "Can I trust you with a secret" in MSN while he was offline, so I would be forced to tell him next time he was online.
So I had it al typed up, and then he responds that I can't trust him with a secret

Now I've no idea what to do ... he's the only friend that I would tell this to, and now apparently I can't.

by **Monika** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:45 am UTC

*hugs feyayeruka*
*hugs natashatasha*

by **superglucose** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:49 am UTC

natashatasha wrote:Summoned up the courage to tell a friend about being trans today. I had put it off for a long time, but had finally managed to type "Can I trust you with a secret" in MSN while he was offline, so I would be forced to tell him next time he was online.
So I had it al typed up, and then he responds that I can't trust him with a secret Now I've no idea what to do ... he's the only friend that I would tell this to, and now apparently I can't.

Silver lining: he's honest about it.

*Big hugs*

by **feyayeruka** » Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:56 am UTC

hugs natashatasha. that bites, but at least your friend warned you not to tell a secret before it was too late.

by **meridian** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:27 pm UTC

natashatasha wrote:Summoned up the courage to tell a friend about being trans today. I had put it off for a long time, but had finally managed to type "Can I trust you with a secret" in MSN while he was offline, so I would be forced to tell him next time he was online.
So I had it al typed up, and then he responds that I can't trust him with a secret Now I've no idea what to do ... he's the only friend that I would tell this to, and now apparently I can't.

Maybe rephrase the question: 'Can I trust you with some extremely personal information?' The problem with asking about secrets is that it's a hugely blanket statement and it could be anything from potentially illegal information to the plans for a surprise birthday party. I'd give the guy props for being honest not wanting to sign up for something he has no idea about - but personal information, private stuff - maybe that's something he can consent to.

by **Monika** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:35 pm UTC

That makes a lot of sense.
Maybe even add "about me" to "Can I trust you with some extremely personal information?" ... so that he will not think it may be the spreading of rumors about other people or something like this.

by **natashatasha** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:56 pm UTC

Thank you for the advice. I asked him, and he again declined:
"if there's any risk, then don't bother telling me ... ....i'd prefer not to have the burden just in case i let my guard down"

He's the only one I feel close enough at the moment to tell, too. Oh well, what cannot be changed must be endured.

by **natraj** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:10 pm UTC

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can find people around you who you can talk to about these things.

by **Monika** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:31 am UTC

by **superglucose** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:37 am UTC

Huh. I'm a lot closer to "pansexual" based on the definition. I'm sorry, but what parts do you have? F if I care, let's talk for an hour and we'll see what happens.

by **scienceroboticspunk** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:08 am UTC

Monika - that just made my morning. so filled with cuteness

by **natashatasha** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:22 pm UTC

I told him about being trans. His response:
"actually makes a lot of sense [...] tbh, i have thought the same things (ABOUT YOU)"

Made my day! I'm so happy now ^_^

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by **joshz** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:36 pm UTC

^_^

That's awesome, natashatasha.

by **Monika** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:50 pm UTC

Congrats

by **Aaeriele** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:55 pm UTC

by **Jessica** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:50 pm UTC

Yay!

I... I need to have more community. I also want to do more.

by **superglucose** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:56 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:yay!

LOUDER!

Congratulations nat!

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