The worst film you've seen

[Jorpho]

Harry potter movies. Less because they were that bad (they were pretty bad, but I've seen worse), more because the books could really have been turned into really good movies. There were a lot of scenes in the books where I thought "wow, it would be really awesome to see this in a movie". And than when I saw it in the movie, they somehow made it boring and pointless. HBP was one of the few movies I actually stopped watching halfway through because it was so bad.

Yeah, I don't much get the HP movies. They're more like disjointed special-effects vignettes of scenes from the books (particularly PoA).

Still, a very far cry from "worst ever".

[SecondTalon]

Okay... if you can think of a film worse than the one you're about to talk about, Don't Talk About It. Talk about the worse one.

This is not the Most Overrated Movie Thread
This isn't the Films That Could Have Been Better thread
This is the

WORST FILM YOU'VE SEEN

thread.

What part of that phrase isn't self-evident?

If I have to tell anyone this again, I'm throwing you out of High Culture for a week or whenever I remember to undo it, whichever comes first.

[Adam H]

Dune get's a lot of undeserved flack as far as i'm concerned, it might not be a very good adaptation of the source material, but neither was Bladerunner and that's great, but Dune is still visually spectacular, interesting, exciting and everything that makes a movie good. in my opinion.
The Sci-Fi channel did a good adaptation of Dune as a miniseries, but even though it's a good adaptation, it's let down by low production values, and i don't think it's that good. a good film maker knows that a perfect adaptaion is not always the best thing, comprimises nearly always have to be made, and i feel Lynch did as good as he could, and made the right kind of comprimises.

We'll agree to disagree, I guess. Your opinion shocks me - the more I think about it, the more I'm sure that Dune actually IS the worst movie I've ever seen, at least all the way through.

And Battlefield Earth is an absolutely amazing book. Maybe the book is worse after seeing the movie because you have all these horrendous scenes already pictured in your head.

That ... is very much a matter of opinion. I've actually read it a couple of times (long before the movie came out), but I would compare it's allure to that of a multi-car pileup on the other side of the road.

Well, yes, obviously saying that a book is "absolutely amazing" is a matter of opinion. I really did like it though. Why'd you read it more than once if you didn't like it? I guess you're one of those people that when they drive by a bad car wreck, they slow down to a crawl to stare, then serve over 3 lanes to do a u-turn and drive by it a second time... I hate people like you!

So to summarize, Battlefield Earth and Dune are the worst movies ever I can't decide between the two of them please don't ban me!!!!!11

[themoneyspider]

Have to say Ninth Gate by Roman Polanski (starring Johnny Depp) is a contender...unless it brightened up in the last 30 minutes because I turned it off. It was just lame on every level.

The 3rd part of the Pirates of the Caribean film was another one I turned off...Keira Knightley's "braveheart" speech was just too much to stomach.

[keozen]

I saw Step Brothers the other week.

Can it count as "worst film I've ever seen" if I refuse to call it a film?

I mean, seriously? Did anyone with more than a single brain cell actually enjoy that film???

[Dason]

I mean, seriously? Did anyone with more than a single brain cell actually enjoy that film???

Yes.

[keozen]

I mean, seriously? Did anyone with more than a single brain cell actually enjoy that film???

Yes.

I will admit to being shocked.

[Adam H]

I mean, seriously? Did anyone with more than a single brain cell actually enjoy that film???

Yes.

I will admit to being shocked.

You're just not very creative. Obviously someone with more than 1 brain cell enjoyed it. I'll bet no one on this forum did, though. It was pretty bad.

[keozen]

True, I suppose someone must have enjoyed it and I guess seeing as that person would have had to be alive to see it their braincell count must have been >1 but I have yet to find one of those people so in order to keep my belief that the human race isn't TOTALLY stupid alive I'm pretending that all positive scores/reviews of said movie were written by one guy who never actually saw the film but did finance it.

[Dason]

You just need to watch it a few more times.

Step Brothers, I’ve found, is one of those movies that grows on you exponentially each time you watch it. If you weren’t thrilled with a first-watch, give it another chance and you’re almost guaranteed to find it chock-full of comedic gold nuggets. Ferrell told Steve that he, director Adam McKay and co-star John C. Reilly recently had a meeting about possibly doing Step Brothers 2.

[Pandorly]

I used to work in HMV and I saw this on the shelf once:

Obviously I never actually watched it but it's probably safe enough to assume that it's the worst film in the world, ever.

[Brother Maynard]

Gentlemen Broncos, the cinematic opus from the creators of Napoleon Dynamite (a movie I didn't particularly enjoy anyways).

It began with amputated testicles in jars and went downhill from there.

[Adam H]

You just need to watch it a few more times.

Ahhhh! No no no no no no nooooooooo!

[folkhero]

Gentlemen Broncos, the cinematic opus from the creators of Napoleon Dynamite (a movie I didn't particularly enjoy anyways).

It began with amputated testicles in jars and went downhill from there.

I saw the guys that made Napoleon Dynomite give a speech thing, with Q and A afterward. (I can't remember why exactly) It was pretty clear to me that they had no idea what they were doing and they stumbled ass backwards into the success of ND. It wouldn't surprise me at all if their sophomore slump was a contender for worst movie ever.

[mind404]

how the hell is Freddy Got Fingered not on this list yet? That movie was a god awful excuse to put Tom Green as the central character in a movie. It doesn't work.

[gavin]

Worst movie I've ever seen:
1. I walked out of Tree of life at around the 25 minute mark. I had never done that before or since. The only reason why it isn't the only movie I'm listing is because I didn't finish it so I can't deservedly give it this place of dishonor even though I want to. So I will allow it to tie. If someone saw the whole thing, please let me know if it got any better. If anyone saw the Diving Bell, the first five minutes were a hard watch because it was intended to make the viewer feel trapped like a person with locked-in syndrome. The Diving Bell mellowed out though and got on with the story but this movie made me feel that way the whole time. The camera angles and story method were unique and novel from a technical standpoint, but it was just too much for the way I process information. From what the attendant who gave me a refund ticket told me, people had been walking out of the movie from the first day. I can only give them props for at least trying something new. I hear it is an encouraging experience for families who have lost children.

2. The Last Airbender was pretty bad. Awful actually. The fact that the show was great and I actually still trusted M. Night to do his job (I liked sixth sense, unbreakable, and even lady in the water if I forget his acting role in it) may have contributed to my dislike of this movie, but it certainly isn't the only reason. The graphics were great. When I saw the trailers and realized the budget behind it I assumed the movie would at least be ok. The reasons I disliked the movie were as follows

A. The main point of a movie is that you can "show" instead of telling. This is what sets it apart from other media. The movie would tell you what was about to happen, explain what was happening while it was happening and then tell you what happened. One of the points that drove this home was when they said they were going to the air temple and flew off, then the scene cut to this obvious temple in the sky and gave a descriptive subtitle saying "Air Temple". Then, when they landed they said where they were. They might as well have been breaking the 4th wall.
B. The acting was sadly atrocious. The only acting I enjoyed was on the part of Uncle. There were many points where the actors were clearly reciting forced and overly lofty lines. The fault was clearly with the director accepting and directing things to be that way.
C. The casting was way off. Race issues aside, the villain was laughable. Haha, they picked Aasif from the daily show! What about him makes him seem sinister?! This part was so out of character for him that it might as well have been Will Ferrel acting in his normal character.
D. The actual bending was some weird dance in which the elements did not appear to be actually moving along with their actions. It was pretty bad. I saw a person dancing for a long time just to get water to mildly raise out of a lake.

Every literary element of a movie besides the graphics failed. Keep in mind that I regularly watch bad movies with friends to laugh at. This one is only cringe worthy. I honestly cannot think of a worse movie that I've seen all the way through.

[GoddessOfDiscord]

This thread is so long, it has probably been mentioned before...but I rarely see movies...seen very few...and tend to at least enjoy pretty much all that I see (or at least not actively hate). That being said, Cloverfield....I saw it for free, and I still think I paid way way too much with the 2 hours of my life it cost.

I even knew it wasn't very good going it, but it was free, and thought it would at least be fun to make fun of it....

Though I must admit, when the main guy is running down the hall with the girl and she asks what one of the monster things is, and he doesn't take the time to explain and just says "it's a terrible thing", I started laughing at how well that line summed up the whole movie.

In my opinion anyway.

[Technical Ben]

You just need to watch it a few more times.

Step Brothers, I’ve found, is one of those movies that grows on you exponentially each time you watch it. If you weren’t thrilled with a first-watch, give it another chance and you’re almost guaranteed to find it chock-full of comedic gold nuggets. Ferrell told Steve that he, director Adam McKay and co-star John C. Reilly recently had a meeting about possibly doing Step Brothers 2.

Is that not true of most things that are not life threatening or physically painful? I'm sure I'd love eating gruel eventually, but not while I have a choice in the matter.

[SecondTalon]

Worst movie I've ever seen:
1. I walked out of Tree of life at around the 25 minute mark.

You and a crapload of other people. Seriously. Did a story about it on NPR, the 20 minute mark seems to be the magic "Alright, fuck this" point in the movie as that's when most people leave.

There's also people who love the everloving fuck out of that movie.

[gavin]

Worst movie I've ever seen:
1. I walked out of Tree of life at around the 25 minute mark.

You and a crapload of other people. Seriously. Did a story about it on NPR, the 20 minute mark seems to be the magic "Alright, fuck this" point in the movie as that's when most people leave.

There's also people who love the everloving fuck out of that movie.

I'm disappointed I missed that story (I listen regularly). My wife and I probably stayed longer than we had to because we weren't sure what the other one wanted. But the scale finally tipped into the realm of neither of us caring enough to spare the other one from having to leave.

I heard people who have lost children were typically the ones that loved it. You actually have to see it to understand how hard it is to sit through.

EDIT: ok, I listened to the review. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm usually very receptive to artistic films so I felt somewhat guilty.

They said 25-30 minutes in is the magic mark. Haha, I hit that on the dark. Has anyone seen it all the way through? Does it get better?

[MotorToad]

You just need to watch it a few more times.

Step Brothers, I’ve found, is one of those movies that grows on you exponentially each time you watch it. If you weren’t thrilled with a first-watch, give it another chance and you’re almost guaranteed to find it chock-full of comedic gold nuggets. Ferrell told Steve that he, director Adam McKay and co-star John C. Reilly recently had a meeting about possibly doing Step Brothers 2.

I can't argue with that. But the only datum I have is (0,0).

[The Scyphozoa]

You've seen it zero times and already know it has zero value for you?

[milica]

Signs with Mel Gibson.

[wannabe]

3 way tie for worst:

Caddyshack 2 - because it was so painfully unfunny and such a HUGE letdown after Caddyshack, which is one of my all time favorites.

Funnyfarm - so boring and unfunny. Plus the worst movie Chevy Chase(who has many great roles along with his stinkers) has done IMHO. Represents the low point in his career.

Cherry 2000 - because Melanie Griffith was TERRIBLE. Ruined me for any other movie she was in.

[Grop]

It's been two years and I haven't thought of anything worse than Dungeons ans Dragons. I hope I will never contribute a new movie to this thread.

[Sytri]

Bailout with David Hasselhoff. Bought it for £2 in a Tesco bargain bin. Considered trying to pay Tescos more money to take it from me when I realised that I could burn it instead.

It's truly horrendous.

Edit: Amazon Link to the film. Couldn't find it on IMDB, luckily Amazon have it

[Felstaff]

Bailout with David Hasselhoff. Bought it for £2 in a Tesco bargain bin

Someone else managed to get it for less than half that!

And it's written/directed by a Star-Trek: The TV Show stunt-man! How could this film end up in this thread, unless of course it's OPPOSITES DAY

[keozen]

You just need to watch it a few more times.

Life is too short to waste some of it trying to convince myself that Step Brothers is anything other than a crap film.

Call me "judging" if you want but if a film needs to invoke stolkhome syndrome in order to get me to like it it's not worth it.

[mosc]

I think it's probably a good thing that most people haven't seen the postman. I mean, it didn't show up too much in this thread. I think most of our readers are now too young to have suffered the horror?

See, to be that truely horrendously bad, you have to try to be good. Putting on a handycam and pointing it at the wall for 3 hours may be boring to watch but it was pretty much a sucess by it's own limits of effort. You have to measure how terrible a film is both by how much effort it puts in and by how much it fails. An unemployed film student making an artsy film just can never be that bad. It's not possible. The effort put in does not get it far enough from the neutral line to dive that far into suckage. To really fail, you need big budget, big name actors, years of production, etc. You need to have all the things movie makers dream of and still make something that should be banned from being played under the geneva convention restricting acts of torture. Anybody can half-ass a movie and make something crappy. To really make something worthy of being called "worst", you have to really really try. Man-years of effort must be laborously poured into each vomot inducing moment.

The postman is every bit the piece of crap that other piece of crap movies try to be. Not only does it not have any redeeming qualities whatsoever (it's quite long as well to really nail that one for as long as possible), it also does terrible on more levels. It's suckage will reach the very depths of your soul and make you quiver in fear as you lose faith in humanity after watching so much effort go into something so bad.

[Jorpho]

See, to be that truely horrendously bad, you have to try to be good. Putting on a handycam and pointing it at the wall for 3 hours may be boring to watch but it was pretty much a sucess by it's own limits of effort. You have to measure how terrible a film is both by how much effort it puts in and by how much it fails. An unemployed film student making an artsy film just can never be that bad. It's not possible. The effort put in does not get it far enough from the neutral line to dive that far into suckage. To really fail, you need big budget, big name actors, years of production, etc. You need to have all the things movie makers dream of and still make something that should be banned from being played under the geneva convention restricting acts of torture. Anybody can half-ass a movie and make something crappy. To really make something worthy of being called "worst", you have to really really try. Man-years of effort must be laborously poured into each vomot inducing moment.

I feel kind of bad that I have failed on many occasions to express this so eloquently.

At least The Postman might inspire some people to read the book, right? Unfortunately the book is also far from David Brin's best.

[personageguy]

I hated the last airbender, its style is the polar opposite of the tv show. Mirrormask is worse though I think when I watched that a part of me died.

[SirBryghtside]

I'm not sure how much flak I'll get for this, but Click.

Everything about it was just horrible. I didn't laugh once, the concept was unoriginal and done poorly, and I predicted it all within the first few minutes.

I could say that the acting was good, I guess... but then I'd be lying.

[dubsola]

Grizzly Man (the interviewer in this seemed kinda out of his league)

Whaaaat? Werner Herzog is a don, and I think he did a good job in this movie.

[Ghostbear]

I was having trouble thinking of what would be the worst film I ever saw. At first I thought Star Wars Holiday Special, but you know, that's not actually a film. Then I started thinking of some of the MST3k's I've watched, but since I only watched them with the commentary, they ended up being awesome, so those were out. Then I went through some more movies, but none of them were really the worst film.

Then I remembered Ice Cream Man. During my first semester of college, one of my roommates bought it and made a bunch of people on our floor of the dorm watch it. Everything about it is horrible. The director was actually a porn director making his first (and thankfully, only) attempt at a mainstream film. I enjoyed the experience of watching it, because it was with a group of people and we were laughing at how terrible it was, but it's easily the worst movie I've seen. I don't think it's possible for someone to survive watching it by themselves; you need another person there to share the misery with.

[Rodion Raskolnikov]

While not bad enough to take the crown of worst movie I've seen, I finally watched AI: Artificial Intelligence on the weekend. Gah.

/angell

It's better if you end it when David is begging the blue fairy for life. The entire point of the movie was that you shouldn't create life to be discarded, but no, there just had to be a happy ending. Kubrik would've left the ending undisturbed (disturbed?).

The ending was Kubrick's, as was the talking teddy bear. Some of the darker ideas, like the Flesh Fair, were from Spielberg. Or at least, that's what Spielberg says.

"The whole last 20 minutes of the movie was completely Stanley's"

Grizzly Man (the interviewer in this seemed kinda out of his league)

Whaaaat? Werner Herzog is a don, and I think he did a good job in this movie.

Werner Herzog is great, and Grizzly Man is one of the best documentaries I've seen in the last few years.

[Lostdreams]

Immortals

I was roped into seeing it the other day and it was complete garbage. It consisted of a mashup of nearly every trope that exists for that genre, loosely tied together(if at all) by a generic steaming shit-pile of a story and contained more plot holes than any movie I can remember.

[UniqueScreenname]

I HATE War of the Worlds. It made no sense. First the guy sees the spaceships come out of the ground and start zapping people, and he just stands there and watches, despite the fact he has to kids at home. He doesn't even run. And then he tells his kids to pack up food, and they only get like bread and salad dressing, but that shouldn't matter, because they ended up hiding out in an abandoned house, with electricity! They didn't even check the fridge. Then they think it's a good idea to take a boat, making them sitting ducks. Then the kid decides to go fight, walks into a ball of fire, and somehow makes it to the house in Boston BEFORE the others do. It's so stupid.

[Felstaff]

While not bad enough to take the crown of worst movie I've seen, I finally watched AI: Artificial Intelligence on the weekend. Gah.

/angell

It's better if you end it when David is begging the blue fairy for life. The entire point of the movie was that you shouldn't create life to be discarded, but no, there just had to be a happy ending. Kubrik would've left the ending undisturbed (disturbed?).

The ending was Kubrick's, as was the talking teddy bear. Some of the darker ideas, like the Flesh Fair, were from Spielberg. Or at least, that's what Spielberg says.

"The whole last 20 minutes of the movie was completely Stanley's"

That's fascinating. I always thought it was the other way around, too. I didn't think A.I. was a particularly bad film, myself. The ending, as is the consensus, was sentimental mush and left a bad taste in the mouth which coloured the rather good story that preceded it. I quite enjoyed the Shakespearian Gigolo Joe, too, which apparently rubs against the critical grain.

Saying that, I've never sought to watch the film again, and would probably change channel if it were on telluhvision. But I wouldn't consider it a bad film, per se.

[dhokarena56]

Starcrash. Or maybe it was the best one I've ever seen.

IMPERIAL BATTLESHIP
HALT
THE FLOW OF TIME

[HungryHobo]

Immortals

I agree.

Definitely the worst film I've seen recently.
Don't waste your money on it.

The sad thing is that it could have been a good movie. It had some good actors, a big budget and even a good pretext and setting.

but they screwed up the story so so badly. It was obvious they wanted us to view the gods as somehow being the good side, the hero being watched over by them and the hero working to prevent the release of the titans.

It starts with a voiceover explaining that once, there were immortal beings and then one day immortals figured out how to kill immortals... there was a war... the losers were imprisoned and called titans while the winners then called themselves gods...

fine so far but after this they failed to ever establish why the titans were any worse than the gods in any way.

Why should I care that someone wants to release them?

from what we see the gods are selfish and nasty creatures who only help anyone when it's in their own interest.

I mean perhaps the titans would have been better than the gods if they were in charge.

they were just the loosing side after all, the titans only kill one human who was trying to kill them at the time while the gods killed plenty of blameless people who just happened to be in the way.

the movie sort of assumed that the viewer would accept the titans as evil in some way because they're black, dirty and dressed slightly tribalish (http://www.awn.com/files/imagepicker/35 ... Titans.jpg) while the gods are clean, white and dressed in gold(http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/up ... d-clip.jpg).

Imagine if 300 had cut out the first half of the movie and all the parts which established that xerxes was bad in any way. now shuffle the order of the remaining scenes randomly and insert some fight scenes from a completely different movie like Spartacus.Add in some torture. this is what immortals is like.