xkcd

by **japanese_jew** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:02 am UTC

Alternate Text: By my count, only 48 of the 158 minutes in Live Free or Die Hard have action. That's pathetic, guys. Crank is better, but needs a bigger budget and more Summer Glau.

Crank kicked ass, but was in '06, and, yes, needed a bigger budget. Oh, right, and comic, pure win. I don't think we even need exposition there. And the badass Assassin from Serenity could stick around too.

LINK!! :evil:

http://xkcd.com/311/

by **eyu100** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:15 am UTC

Title:

by **Peshmerga** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:16 am UTC

I lol'd.

Although I suppose it *would* get kind of boring without any kind of cooldown...

by **Kendally** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:17 am UTC

I would pay good money to see this movie and buy it on DVD!

by **bsoric** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:20 am UTC

I would totally see that.

by **leb0wski** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:22 am UTC

2 hours of River - hellz yeah. Although let's be honest. What I really want is 2 hours of Firefly.

by **maicrodrop** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:23 am UTC

I'd watch that.

(sorry, couldn't resist)

by **InfernoSD** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:24 am UTC

This needs to be made, very soon...

Is he any good at animation? I think it would be much better in his artful drawing style than with real actors or anything of that sort.

by **tss** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:26 am UTC

Hopefully it's going to be close enough.

(Oh, I've never before even noticed the Subject, so lets's clarify: it = The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

by **Akula** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:41 am UTC

Man, this particular comic is pure nerd bait.

And yes, I'd watch it. I'd probably see it more than once in theaters.

by **Gadren** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:45 am UTC

Hell.
Yes.

I would pay at least $30 to go see 2 hours of River Tam beating down Reavers, Alliance, and just anyone in her way, using those nice blood-drenched battle-axes, spinning around in a beautifully choreographed fight sequence with lots of shots of her dancer's feet (no I don't have a foot fetish!).

Maybe I'm just in a Firefly depression... I listened to that fan-made song, Mal's Song, and now I'm feeling that emptiness of a world without any more Firefly.

by **Hawknc** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:51 am UTC

Win, awesome, and other xkcd/Firefly fanboy nerdgasmic expressions. Because really, today's kids need more violence on their screens, otherwise they'll go out and make their own violence.

by **sunami** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:55 am UTC

This comic makes me glad that I am alive.

by **Xxpeyotedragon** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:58 am UTC

lol, I liked the part where it made reference to the television. Why doesn't anyone do that anymore? You know, take something I already know about and remind me it exists?

by **Gelsamel** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:03 am UTC

THIS MOVIE NEEDS TO BE MADE NOW!

by **sketchyd** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:03 am UTC

Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth

Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.

by **Xxpeyotedragon** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:11 am UTC

Has anyone here seen "crank"?

by **Akula** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:14 am UTC

sketchyd wrote:Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth

Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.

The first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

A good chunk of Black Hawk Down.

The climax of The Professional.

The climax of Children of Men.

The last half hour of Hot Fuzz!

And finally, the end of Blue Thunder.

by **laxori666** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:15 am UTC

What about the Bourne Ultimatum? I think the action to talking ratio is much, much higher.

by **Mighty Jalapeno** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

Awwwwwwww, yeah

For the record, I saw Firefly for the first time yesterday. Watched episodes 1 through 7.

Also, for action...

The Boondock Saints. THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!!!!!!!!

by **CitizenErased** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day!

by **Aglet** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

I'm glad that Randall finally touched on one of the greatest loves of my life - action movies.

sketchyd wrote:Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth

Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.

Die Hard 4, where he fights a jet fighter with a big rig.
Die Hard 4, where he fights a woman with an SUV.
Terminator 2, where they have a car chase in the drainage ditches.
Terminator 2, where they blow up Cyberdyne.
Terminator 2, where they fight the T-1000 in the foundry.
Bad Boys II, where they have a car chase on the freeway.
Bad Boys II, where they chase the bad guys who are in a morgue van.
Bad Boys II, where they invade Cuba.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Indy goes under the truck.
The Matrix Reloaded, where they have a car chase on the freeway (yes, that's two car chase sequences).

by **Mighty Jalapeno** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:21 am UTC

CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day!

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.

by **skeptical scientist** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:26 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day!

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kaylee grow up on one of the outer rim planets?

by **Mighty Jalapeno** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:27 am UTC

skeptical scientist wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day!

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kaylee grow up on one of the outer rim planets?

White Rock, BC, actually....

Oh, wait, that's just her lookalike, Jewel Staite. I get them confuzzled.

by **skeptical scientist** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:29 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:THIS MOVIE NEEDS TO BE MADE NOW!

It would be fun, I'll grant you. But Joss is way too clever, and serenity way too cool, for its sequel to be wasted on one big action scene. River Tam kicking ass would be cool and all, but listening to Kaylee talk about what goes twixt her nethers is way more amusing.

by **somdude04** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:31 am UTC

If I somehow make millions of dollars while she's young enough to play River convincingly, I would so fund this.

by **Exick** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:39 am UTC

If you wouldn't get your anus sued out from underneath you, I would demand that movie poster on a t-shirt. I'm crying my eyes out I'm laughing so hard.

by **Bakemaster** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:49 am UTC

This is what happens when people get all doom-and-gloom doubting Thomases in the comic threads. Munroe busts out with an Epic Win for three points from half court.

CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D

Hells yeah!

by **combatdoc** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:01 am UTC

I laughed pretty hard when I saw this one. It was the sudden mental visual of thousands of people opening Google and typing in "River Tam" just to figure out what the heck you were referring to.

BTW, I would pay to see the movie.

by **Saffuric** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:06 am UTC

bwahahaah i'd totally watch that!
i'd go watch it in the theater multiple times lol

by **ex-parrot** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:09 am UTC

Am I the only one who doesn't like the use of Papyrus on the poster?

by **b.i.o** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:13 am UTC

laxori666 wrote:What about the Bourne Ultimatum? I think the action to talking ratio is much, much higher.

Seriously. Well, maybe not "action" per se, as in blowing up cars, etc (although there is some of that), but the movie didn't slow down for more than a few minutes ever, and that only occasionally.

by **6453893** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:15 am UTC

Some other movie titles (And Taglines) I'd like to see from XKCD studios:

Uma Thurman Uses a Sword Again
This time, the Jumpsuit is blue...
Ninjas on a Plane
And Samuel L. Jackson has a gun.
Jurassic Park in the Future
One killer Robot. One thousand Killer Dinosaurs.
Will Smith fights Nazis
And does some black guy stuff too.
Fight Club, but not so Girly
50% more Fight, 50% less Club.

LE4dGOLEM SAYS: Oh $deity WIN! I love you.

by **dr7** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:18 am UTC

I am so out of the loop when it comes to TV, movies, actors, characters and such. "River Tam" means nothing to me.

Apparently it's a "Firefly" character, according to Wikipedia. Yet another show I never bothered with.

I'm so not a TV/movie geek.

by **Bakemaster** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:18 am UTC

How about The Breakfast Fight?

by **simen** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:29 am UTC

No real action movies?

WHAT
ABOUT
300?

by **Hawknc** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:36 am UTC

ex-parrot wrote:Am I the only one who doesn't like the use of Papyrus on the poster?

It's about as close as you can get to the Serenity font.

by **blind visionary** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:42 am UTC

simen wrote:No real action movies?

WHAT
ABOUT
300?

Nope, they added in the fucking extra part about the queen.

You mean the extra fucking-part.
-Anonymod.

by **Unforgiven** » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:46 am UTC

I'd watch that movie. And I don't even like action movies. :roll:

xkcd

0311: "Action Movies"

0311: "Action Movies"

Gee Willikers yes!

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Re: better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Re: better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Who is online