0311: "Action Movies"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Magistrates, Prelates, Moderators General

0311: "Action Movies"

Postby japanese_jew » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:02 am UTC

Image

Alternate Text: By my count, only 48 of the 158 minutes in Live Free or Die Hard have action. That's pathetic, guys. Crank is better, but needs a bigger budget and more Summer Glau.

Crank kicked ass, but was in '06, and, yes, needed a bigger budget. Oh, right, and comic, pure win. I don't think we even need exposition there. And the badass Assassin from Serenity could stick around too.

LINK!! :evil: http://xkcd.com/311/
User avatar
japanese_jew
 
Posts: 255
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:24 am UTC

Postby eyu100 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:15 am UTC

Title: :lol:
eyu100
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:20 pm UTC

Postby Peshmerga » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:16 am UTC

I lol'd.

Although I suppose it *would* get kind of boring without any kind of cooldown...
i hurd u liek mudkips???
User avatar
Peshmerga
Mad Hatter
 
Posts: 2061
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:56 am UTC

Postby Kendally » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:17 am UTC

I would pay good money to see this movie and buy it on DVD!
Kendally
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:48 am UTC
Location: Perth, Awstraya

Postby bsoric » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:20 am UTC

I would totally see that.
bsoric
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:11 am UTC

Oh me yarm yes!

Postby leb0wski » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:22 am UTC

2 hours of River - hellz yeah. Although let's be honest. What I really want is 2 hours of Firefly.
leb0wski
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:14 am UTC

Postby maicrodrop » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:23 am UTC

I'd watch that.




(sorry, couldn't resist)
User avatar
maicrodrop
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:33 pm UTC

Postby InfernoSD » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:24 am UTC

This needs to be made, very soon...

Is he any good at animation? I think it would be much better in his artful drawing style than with real actors or anything of that sort.
InfernoSD
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2007 4:20 pm UTC

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Postby tss » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:26 am UTC

Hopefully it's going to be close enough. :)

(Oh, I've never before even noticed the Subject, so lets's clarify: it = The Sarah Connor Chronicles)
tss
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:23 am UTC

Postby Akula » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:41 am UTC

Man, this particular comic is pure nerd bait.

And yes, I'd watch it. I'd probably see it more than once in theaters.
"I never let my schooling interfere with my education" - Mark Twain
User avatar
Akula
 
Posts: 619
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:55 pm UTC
Location: Vermont

Postby Gadren » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:45 am UTC

Hell.
Yes.

I would pay at least $30 to go see 2 hours of River Tam beating down Reavers, Alliance, and just anyone in her way, using those nice blood-drenched battle-axes, spinning around in a beautifully choreographed fight sequence with lots of shots of her dancer's feet (no I don't have a foot fetish!).

Maybe I'm just in a Firefly depression... I listened to that fan-made song, Mal's Song, and now I'm feeling that emptiness of a world without any more Firefly.
Gadren
 
Posts: 466
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 6:54 pm UTC

Postby Hawknc » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:51 am UTC

Win, awesome, and other xkcd/Firefly fanboy nerdgasmic expressions. Because really, today's kids need more violence on their screens, otherwise they'll go out and make their own violence.
User avatar
Hawknc
Oompa Loompa of SCIENCE!
 
Posts: 6974
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:14 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby sunami » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:55 am UTC

This comic makes me glad that I am alive.
User avatar
sunami
 
Posts: 239
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:52 am UTC
Location: Arlington. The state of Northern Virginia.

Postby Xxpeyotedragon » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:58 am UTC

lol, I liked the part where it made reference to the television. Why doesn't anyone do that anymore? You know, take something I already know about and remind me it exists?
User avatar
Xxpeyotedragon
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:35 am UTC
Location: Someplace far too warm

Postby Gelsamel » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:03 am UTC

THIS MOVIE NEEDS TO BE MADE NOW!
Death is the final sorrowful parting from which there is no return. But hope is not yet lost, for there is a simple incantation, a spell of transmutation that brings about the reversal, that permits escape from the infinite well.

"I was here with you"

That is my golden truth.
User avatar
Gelsamel
Lame and emo
 
Posts: 8188
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:49 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Postby sketchyd » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:03 am UTC

Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth


Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.
sketchyd
 
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:57 am UTC

Postby Xxpeyotedragon » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:11 am UTC

Has anyone here seen "crank"?
User avatar
Xxpeyotedragon
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:35 am UTC
Location: Someplace far too warm

Re: better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Postby Akula » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:14 am UTC

sketchyd wrote:Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth


Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.


The first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

A good chunk of Black Hawk Down.

The climax of The Professional.

The climax of Children of Men.

The last half hour of Hot Fuzz!

And finally, the end of Blue Thunder.
"I never let my schooling interfere with my education" - Mark Twain
User avatar
Akula
 
Posts: 619
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:55 pm UTC
Location: Vermont

Postby laxori666 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:15 am UTC

What about the Bourne Ultimatum? I think the action to talking ratio is much, much higher.
laxori666
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:11 am UTC

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

Awwwwwwww, yeah :)

For the record, I saw Firefly for the first time yesterday. Watched episodes 1 through 7.

Also, for action...

The Boondock Saints. THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!!!!!!!!
Last edited by Mighty Jalapeno on Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
~ It's been 70 years. You're not a neo-Nazi... you're a fucking asshole. ~
RealGrouchy wrote:Can't talk now. Fucking.
Sprocket wrote:This? This is my dick. It's delicious.
User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
What does the FOX say?
 
Posts: 10822
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can

Postby CitizenErased » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D
User avatar
CitizenErased
 
Posts: 91
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:27 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Down Under

Re: better idea - action movie dvd mix tape

Postby Aglet » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:20 am UTC

I'm glad that Randall finally touched on one of the greatest loves of my life - action movies.

sketchyd wrote:Instead of bothering with plot at all, make a dvd with all the best action scenes from other movies.

Off the top of my head, the must haves -

-The ridiculous fight in the first Matrix movie, right after 'I need guns'
-Scene from Kill Bill in the restaurant with the yellow suit
-Yoda's lightsaber battle
-the Battle of Hoth


Post your favorites, and I'll try and put it together.


Die Hard 4, where he fights a jet fighter with a big rig.
Die Hard 4, where he fights a woman with an SUV.
Terminator 2, where they have a car chase in the drainage ditches.
Terminator 2, where they blow up Cyberdyne.
Terminator 2, where they fight the T-1000 in the foundry.
Bad Boys II, where they have a car chase on the freeway.
Bad Boys II, where they chase the bad guys who are in a morgue van.
Bad Boys II, where they invade Cuba.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Indy goes under the truck.
The Matrix Reloaded, where they have a car chase on the freeway (yes, that's two car chase sequences).
Image
User avatar
Aglet
 
Posts: 364
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:26 am UTC

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:21 am UTC

CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.
~ It's been 70 years. You're not a neo-Nazi... you're a fucking asshole. ~
RealGrouchy wrote:Can't talk now. Fucking.
Sprocket wrote:This? This is my dick. It's delicious.
User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
What does the FOX say?
 
Posts: 10822
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can

Postby skeptical scientist » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:26 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kaylee grow up on one of the outer rim planets?
I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson
User avatar
skeptical scientist
closed-minded spiritualist
 
Posts: 6150
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
Location: San Francisco

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:27 am UTC

skeptical scientist wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D

I grew up one bus ride away from where she grew up.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kaylee grow up on one of the outer rim planets?

White Rock, BC, actually....

Oh, wait, that's just her lookalike, Jewel Staite. I get them confuzzled.
~ It's been 70 years. You're not a neo-Nazi... you're a fucking asshole. ~
RealGrouchy wrote:Can't talk now. Fucking.
Sprocket wrote:This? This is my dick. It's delicious.
User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
What does the FOX say?
 
Posts: 10822
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can

Postby skeptical scientist » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:29 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:THIS MOVIE NEEDS TO BE MADE NOW!

It would be fun, I'll grant you. But Joss is way too clever, and serenity way too cool, for its sequel to be wasted on one big action scene. River Tam kicking ass would be cool and all, but listening to Kaylee talk about what goes twixt her nethers is way more amusing.
I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson
User avatar
skeptical scientist
closed-minded spiritualist
 
Posts: 6150
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
Location: San Francisco

Postby somdude04 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:31 am UTC

If I somehow make millions of dollars while she's young enough to play River convincingly, I would so fund this.
somdude04
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 5:31 am UTC
Location: Waco, TX

Postby Exick » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:39 am UTC

If you wouldn't get your anus sued out from underneath you, I would demand that movie poster on a t-shirt. I'm crying my eyes out I'm laughing so hard.
Exick
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:37 am UTC

Postby Bakemaster » Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:49 am UTC

This is what happens when people get all doom-and-gloom doubting Thomases in the comic threads. Munroe busts out with an Epic Win for three points from half court.

CitizenErased wrote:I wouldn't complain watching 2 hours of River....

but give me 2 hours of Kaylee any day! :D

Hells yeah!
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8766
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Postby combatdoc » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:01 am UTC

I laughed pretty hard when I saw this one. It was the sudden mental visual of thousands of people opening Google and typing in "River Tam" just to figure out what the heck you were referring to.

BTW, I would pay to see the movie.
User avatar
combatdoc
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:41 am UTC
Location: Iraq/Texas

Postby Saffuric » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:06 am UTC

bwahahaah i'd totally watch that!
i'd go watch it in the theater multiple times lol
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Something Saffurical
User avatar
Saffuric
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 2:11 am UTC
Location: California!!!

Postby ex-parrot » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:09 am UTC

Am I the only one who doesn't like the use of Papyrus on the poster?
ex-parrot
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:08 am UTC

Postby b.i.o » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:13 am UTC

laxori666 wrote:What about the Bourne Ultimatum? I think the action to talking ratio is much, much higher.


Seriously. Well, maybe not "action" per se, as in blowing up cars, etc (although there is some of that), but the movie didn't slow down for more than a few minutes ever, and that only occasionally.
User avatar
b.i.o
Green is the loneliest number
 
Posts: 2520
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:38 pm UTC
Location: Hong Kong

Postby 6453893 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:15 am UTC

Some other movie titles (And Taglines) I'd like to see from XKCD studios:

Uma Thurman Uses a Sword Again
This time, the Jumpsuit is blue...
Ninjas on a Plane
And Samuel L. Jackson has a gun.
Jurassic Park in the Future

One killer Robot. One thousand Killer Dinosaurs.
Will Smith fights Nazis

And does some black guy stuff too.
Fight Club, but not so Girly

50% more Fight, 50% less Club.

LE4dGOLEM SAYS: Oh $deity WIN! I love you.
User avatar
6453893
 
Posts: 557
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 2:40 am UTC
Location: Australia

Postby dr7 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:18 am UTC

I am so out of the loop when it comes to TV, movies, actors, characters and such. "River Tam" means nothing to me.

Apparently it's a "Firefly" character, according to Wikipedia. Yet another show I never bothered with.

I'm so not a TV/movie geek.
Last edited by dr7 on Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:21 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
dr7: king of the wicker people
User avatar
dr7
 
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 3:17 am UTC
Location: Right here. You can't see me?

Postby Bakemaster » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:18 am UTC

How about The Breakfast Fight?
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
"Apparently you can't summon an alternate timeline clone of your inner demon, guys! Remember that." —Noc
User avatar
Bakemaster
pretty nice future dick
 
Posts: 8766
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:33 pm UTC
Location: tinyurl.com/dybqlp

Postby simen » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:29 am UTC

No real action movies?

WHAT
ABOUT
300?
User avatar
simen
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:02 pm UTC

Postby Hawknc » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:36 am UTC

ex-parrot wrote:Am I the only one who doesn't like the use of Papyrus on the poster?

It's about as close as you can get to the Serenity font.
User avatar
Hawknc
Oompa Loompa of SCIENCE!
 
Posts: 6974
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:14 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby blind visionary » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:42 am UTC

simen wrote:No real action movies?

WHAT
ABOUT
300?
Nope, they added in the fucking extra part about the queen.

You mean the extra fucking-part.
-Anonymod.
User avatar
blind visionary
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:23 pm UTC
Location: The Internet

Postby Unforgiven » Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:46 am UTC

I'd watch that movie. And I don't even like action movies. :roll:
"Now we're at the museum. Do you think they'll have DDR in there too?"
"It's Japan. Of course they will."
User avatar
Unforgiven
 
Posts: 162
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:48 am UTC
Location: Tokyo, Japan

Next

Return to Individual XKCD Comic Threads

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 21 guests