[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
apricity
almost grown-up but not quite
Posts: 3983
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:28 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby apricity » Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:50 pm UTC

After finding a pair of size 12 pants that look better on me than any 8s or 10s ever did, I think I have somewhat gotten over my concern with going up or down a size. Wearing clothes that fit correctly makes people look a lot thinner than wearing a smaller size does.

Sarah, you are definitely gorgeous no matter what.
LE4d wrote:have you considered becoming an electron

it takes just a little practice to learn to be
(she/her/hers)

User avatar
Brace
Posts: 1169
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:40 am UTC
Location: Denver, Co
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:27 pm UTC

Reading that chart, my waist would correspond to large, my hips to extra small, my bust to large, and my weight to extra large...
"The future is the only kind of property that the masters willingly concede to the slaves" - Albert Camus

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:17 am UTC

I'm just happy when I find clothes that fit.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:31 am UTC

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I bought skirts today. I will be posting pix of me in them later I need to shave first and the one I'm wearing now fits (though the elastic is a bit loose... thrift store...) but is very cute and I love it :lol:
Image

Bassoon
Posts: 476
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:58 pm UTC
Location: Wisconsin

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bassoon » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:07 am UTC

If you're any good with sewing or other such skills, fixing the elastic or replacing the band shouldn't be too difficult.

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:11 am UTC

I have no skills and may just opt to safety pin it. It stays up but if I jump or walk too long it falls down.
Image

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4751
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:45 am UTC

Safety pins work. Also, taking in a skirt (or stretchy pants and such as) is simple, if you don't require perfection:

Pinch up enough waistband (at the back works okay) to narrow the waistband to a good size. Use a safety pin, or a few straight pins, to anchor it. Make sure you can still get the garment on and off comfortably.

Got something that works? Good. Now remake that pinched part so that the bulb of extra fabric-and-elastic faces inward, if you first made it point outward. Because that's what I did the first time. :oops:

Add another pin or two to make the pinched part angle toward ending a few inches below the waistband. Something like this:

Spoiler:
taking_in_waist.jpg
Now sew along the new seam (as in the picture), trying at least a bit to make things line up nicely. Viola da gamba, it's done! (Unless the stitching comes apart in the wash, or something, but then you'll be better at it the next time. >.>)
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
- Hermann Hesse, novelist, poet, Nobel laureate (2 Jul 1877-1962)

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:52 am UTC

... and now I feel stupid XD That's a pretty sweet plan.
Image

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4751
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:58 am UTC

No need to feel stupid. I didn't figure this out until after I turned 35 or so. You have at least a few years' grace. :wink:
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
- Hermann Hesse, novelist, poet, Nobel laureate (2 Jul 1877-1962)

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:41 am UTC

Since I know you were all waiting with bated breath to see me in my new skirts:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6318&p=2731222#p2731222

Sadly one of the skirts I got (this really cute catholic schoolgirl thing) wasn't ACTUALLY a skirt but one of those shorts made to look like a skirt. It's ok though because it doesn't fit me anyways... I'll keep it around just in case I lose like 30 lbs and 5" off my waist or, more likely, there's a hot girl in dire need for a plaid miniskirt for some roleplaying.

I want to leave you with probably my favorite set of conversation with the girl I really like that we've had so far:

"I guess for me crossdressing helps me keep in touch with my feminine side. Also it's a little fetishized."

"Good. Then I won't feel bad for talking about how hot you look."

<3
Image

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:20 pm UTC

Skort - shorts inside a skirt. They are pretty good for certain things, and not great for others.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3672
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:22 pm UTC

For what things are they good and for what things not?
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:28 pm UTC

*shrug* dunno...

I like my two skirts which are actually skorts. One is very much a cargo skirt, the other is less so, but still relatively sporty. Both probably are meant to be worn in places where a skirt is pretty, but shorts are necessary. I didn't realize either had the shorts inside until I bought them, but I'm not unhappy with it.

Actually, I like that skorts prevent "chub rub" - when my inner thighs get sweaty (from say walking a few blocks...) and rub against each other and cause a rash. Any fabric between my legs in that area prevents it. Thus, good.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3672
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:34 pm UTC

I think I should get a skort. I have the same problem with chub rub. So currently I only wear skirts in situations where I don't have to walk more than a few steps.
Last edited by Monika on Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:44 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:43 pm UTC

My skorts are the only skirts I wear these days, unless I need to look really ultra pretty, or femmed up for some reason (wedding, costume, etc). Usually in those instances, I wear either pantyhose (which helps a bit, but I ruin them after one use for some reason), or a spanx body shaper which goes to mid thigh.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3672
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

Kilroy(ZTC) wrote:Second edit this time good news! My financial aid appeal has been won but not finalized. They could still cut my hours or restrict the degrees I can pursue. Still incredibly relieved though.

I only see this now. Congrats!
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
meridian
Posts: 367
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:26 am UTC
Location: Cambervillia
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby meridian » Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:54 pm UTC

I also wear spandex shorts under all of my skirts to avoid chub rub! I do not own any skorts - or well, any daytime wear shorts for that matter too. The aforementioned chubbiness always bunches short material up in my groin and it feels uncomfortable and looks unattractive on me.

I felt this important to share.
Spoiler:
People don't really go to heaven when they die. They are taken to a special room and burned.
- Sherlock
torontoraptor wrote:Internet is a zombie, and it is eating our brains.

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:46 pm UTC

Girl I like giving me tips on how to dress :D

Is this love? If not, I'll take it.

On that note a couple of things worth mentioning:

Spoiler:
From the girl:
"In all seriousness...is it odd that I don't want to be seen as straight? Despite personal identification, I know the potential relationship will be perceived as a "normal" heterosexual relationship. And I'm having a hard time reconciling myself to that. Especially within the LGBT community - I present and live most of the time as a cis/het woman, and I feel bad being part of a community around discrimination when so much of my life plays out as so normal."

Response:
"Ah, I think I get what you mean, you don't want to be discriminated against, but you also want to be able to present as genderqueer and pansexual"

Talking to her about it now of course (that wasn't my response but this was all her talking about her being with me if you missed that). Personally I feel the same way as her. I don't identify as GQ/pan even though by "definition" that's what I am. I can't say it though. Saying, "I am GQ and pansexual" sounds like I'm lying in a way I can't really describe. It's like... a pair of 32/32 pants that aren't comfortable to wear. Technically it's my size, technically I should be comfortable in them, but for whatever reason I'm just not. I feel cramped and confined, and it has nothing to do with potential discrimination. It has everything to do with it not fitting.

She and I... agree very much on this point. I dunno, it's not the storybook romance I wanted for myself, but somehow it's both better and worse at the same time. This feels like a very unique relationship and I love that. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to be who I am.


Similarly related:
Spoiler:
The BEST part of this relationship: we'll be able to present however the fuck we want. I will be able to say, "I'm going to go home to have dinner with my boyfriend." People will say, "Aren't you still with kat?" "Yes." Yes I am. She's my boyfriend tonight. Oh and that doesn't mean I'm her girlfriend either.

There will be days where we'll present as cis/het. There will be days where we present as cis/het, but with me as the woman. Days where we present as trans/het or trans/homo, or cis/homo. We even joked that I'd be a woman in the winter and a man in the summer (since crossdressing for me would require hiding a lot of my hair).

I don't know how to express how wonderful it is that I've acquired, simultaneously, a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I especially don't know how to express how wonderful and exciting it is that it's one person.


EDIT: Oh, and something that $girl can't really help me with: tucking. Anyone have good tips?
Image

User avatar
The EGE
not very good at pickup limes
Posts: 1081
Joined: Sat Dec 27, 2008 12:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby The EGE » Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:26 am UTC

Yay for superglucose!
sillybear25 wrote:But it's NPH, so it's creepy in the best possible way.

Shivahn wrote:I'm in your abstractions, burning your notions of masculinity.

User avatar
PM 2Ring
Posts: 3713
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:19 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:24 am UTC

superglucose wrote:Girl I like giving me tips on how to dress :D

Is this love? If not, I'll take it.

Sounds like you two will be having a lot of fun together. :D

In the words of Donovan:
Fly Translove Airways, get you there on time.
Fly Translove Airways, get you there on time.
He will bring orchids for my lady,
The perfume will be of an excellent style
And apart from that he'll be so kind
In consenting to blow your mind.
[...]
Fly Translove Airways, get you there on time.
Fly Translove Airways, get you there on time.
We'll be flying at an altitude of thirty-nine thousand feet
Captain High at your service.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=023ENkCFupY


superglucose wrote:EDIT: Oh, and something that $girl can't really help me with: tucking. Anyone have good tips?

Yes.
Spoiler:
Check out these threads from http://www.crossdressers.com/forums, which is a pretty good site for all kinds of people interested in cross-dressing for one reason or another.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?41560-tucking
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?59176-The-Art-of-Tucking-v2.0
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?55475-Tucking-taping-or-gaffing-What-should-I-do

That should give you plenty of reading material for a little while. :)

Here are some short quotes from the first one of those threads.
I decided to make gravity work for me rather than against me. I used the method of lying on the back with the legs going up the wall, raising the butt so the testes naturally fall to the top of the scrotum. From there, it only takes a little gentle persuasion. Once you know where everything goes, it's gets a lot easier.

After a few more tries I could tuck just lying down with my knees raised. I've been practicing a lot over the last few days & can now tuck while sitting up (most of the time), although it still seems impossible for me to overcome the effects of gravity when trying to tuck standing up.


[...] the key to a successful tuck is to pull the empty scrotum back as far as possible. Stretching the scrotum out flat like this "closes the door" and prevents the testes from re-descending. You will get the best results if the general region is shaved, as this helps reduce slipping. (Pubic hair functions as a kind of lubricating surface.)


If you need more explicit information, please feel free to PM me.

User avatar
NecklaceOfShadow
Posts: 775
Joined: Sun May 03, 2009 7:40 pm UTC
Location: In the alchemical aether
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NecklaceOfShadow » Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:52 am UTC

So... apparently I've inadvertently outed myself as trans* already. Not everyone knows, I'm sure, but I feel almost... disappointed. I couldn't even pass that well for two days. It's the usual things, I guess --- broad shoulders, pointy face, deep voice, small boobs.

Oh, well. The feeling was good while it lasted?
Significantly less weird than I used to be. Still pretty weird.

οὗτός ἐστιν Ἀγαμέμνων, ἐμὸς
πόσις, νεκρὸς δὲ τῆσδε δεξιᾶς χερός
ἔργον δικαίας τέκτονος. τάδ’ ὧδ’ ἔχει.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3672
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:33 am UTC

@Superglucose: Sounds like the two of you are having fun :D


@NecklaceOfShadow: *hugs*
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:51 pm UTC

H'ray for superglucose!

*hugs Emi*
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

User avatar
NovaNatalia
Posts: 207
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:11 am UTC
Location: Australia

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:07 pm UTC

My room mate heard me practising my voice and said I sounded like Fluttershy! *Flaps wings* Yay
I am the way into the doleful city. I am the way into eternal grief. I am the way to a forsaken race ... You who enter here, abandon all hope.

User avatar
a_fuzzyduck
Posts: 435
Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 9:42 pm UTC
Location: Clydebank
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby a_fuzzyduck » Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:33 pm UTC

*hugs for Emi*
wkw
"GRAPHICS WERE NOT AS GOOD IN THE PAST BUT WE WERE HAPPIER AND MORE INNOCENT THEN" - every retro gaming review, ever

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:21 pm UTC

natashatasha wrote:My room mate heard me practicing my voice and said I sounded like Fluttershy! *Flaps wings* Yay
Fluttershy speaks as if she's whispering all the time (a breathy sound). But, that can be worked on as well. Try speaking with a kermit voice (in the back of your throat) and then pull your tongue forward until it starts to sound less nasally and more natural.

Sorry, I know you meant that as a positive. I'm just trying to give some constructive criticism. It's awesome, and it's getting better!
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Aaeriele
Posts: 2127
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC
Location: San Francisco, CA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:40 pm UTC

natashatasha wrote:My room mate heard me practising my voice and said I sounded like Fluttershy! *Flaps wings* Yay


yay :)

also, hello from hong kong international airport
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

User avatar
joshz
Posts: 1466
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:51 am UTC
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:17 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote:also, hello from hong kong international airport
Woo! How was the flight?
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

manictheatrefan
Posts: 80
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:29 am UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby manictheatrefan » Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:35 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote:also, hello from hong kong international airport


As a Hong Konger, I welcome you :) (except not really? because I'm not in HK at the moment.)

If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in HK that calls for being there in the summer? IMO, the weather's much more pleasant in the winter; it's far too hot and humid in the summer (but I suppose it doesn't really matter because every place is air-conditioned now).

User avatar
Zeroignite
Commencing Countdown, Engines On
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:28 pm UTC
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zeroignite » Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:41 am UTC

As I have more intimate experiences I have with people of various genders and body configurations, rigid categories "gay" and "straight" feel more and more painfully artificial, unnecessary, and constricting.
She/her/hers
Avatar sketched by Hazel / drawn by Amii
Image

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4751
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:51 am UTC

Yay!

Er, for the realisation, I mean. Not the constrictingness. >.>

I'm also learning about such things. Interestingly enough, I had to stop having intimate experiences for this realisation to happen. I just couldn't see past the whole "must have boyfriend to be happy" thing that had been drilled into me. Not until I actually spent several years without a date or even a crush.

Now that I've learned stuff, it's easy to see that I'm muuuuuuch better off not feeling obligated to have sex. What a constant pummeling on my self-esteem, to keep thinking there was something desperately wrong with me because I just couldn't like sex the way ... er ... non-asexuals do.

>.<

Goddamn am I happy to have learned about AVEN and the existence of asexuality. I wish the same feeling of self-recognition and liberation onto everyone, wherever that liberation takes them (between consenting adults etc. :wink: ).
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
- Hermann Hesse, novelist, poet, Nobel laureate (2 Jul 1877-1962)

User avatar
Zeroignite
Commencing Countdown, Engines On
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:28 pm UTC
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zeroignite » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:06 am UTC

We need a equally-marked term for non-asexuals.
(Also everyone should read that link because it's excellent.)
(Also also I think it's why I like the terms "deaf" and "hearing" so much when contrasted against each other (I've started taking an ASL class.) They're equally-marked terms.)
She/her/hers
Avatar sketched by Hazel / drawn by Amii
Image

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4751
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:22 am UTC

Hmm. Asexual vs ... consexual?
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
- Hermann Hesse, novelist, poet, Nobel laureate (2 Jul 1877-1962)

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:28 am UTC

I've seen numerous people say things to the effect of "we should take all cis people and stick them on an island" or "cis people make me cry" etc. etc. I myself have internalized "cis = boring."

This is a warning to EVERYONE here: be careful how you use the term "cis." It's already starting to have a very negative connotation in the ears of those who are cis.
Image

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4751
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:32 am UTC

The article Zig linked to does argue the case that cis won't really be a slur, outside of some of the LGBT community, until it becomes used as widely as slurs against (for example) LGBTs are.

Also: "consexual" might be unnecessary. "Sexual" is the most often-used term on AVEN to describe not-asexuals, and sexual-asexual seems neutral enough for the most part.
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
- Hermann Hesse, novelist, poet, Nobel laureate (2 Jul 1877-1962)

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:35 am UTC

poxic wrote:The article Zig linked to does argue the case that cis won't really be a slur, outside of some of the LGBT community, until it becomes used as widely as slurs against (for example) LGBTs are.


"It's not bullying as long as someone has it worse"?
Image

User avatar
Zeroignite
Commencing Countdown, Engines On
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:28 pm UTC
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zeroignite » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:45 am UTC

I have never, ever seen "cis" in a general sense used as anything but a neutral-descriptive term.
She/her/hers
Avatar sketched by Hazel / drawn by Amii
Image

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Fri Aug 26, 2011 8:18 am UTC

It's not so much that it's used as a non-neutral term, but that a lot of people use "cis people" when they mean "cis people who are transphobic." The latter is a subset of the former... and thinking like this leads to "them vs us" mentalities which then lead to "cis" being used as an insult.
Image

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3672
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:28 am UTC

I have also not seen cis used in a negative way. I have, however, seen a couple of cis people whine about the term. Not sure what they desire to be called - nontransexual/nontransgender? I think it's part of a "we are normal so we don't need a term" mentality, which is (a) bad and (b) nicely countered in the article linked to by Zero.

I also think "sexual" is a fine opposite to "asexual". "Non-asexual" is a suitable explanation where "sexual" will not be clear to all readers ... so in most contexts outside AVEN and similar communities.

Zeroignite wrote:Also also I think it's why I like the terms "deaf" and "hearing" so much when contrasted against each other (I've started taking an ASL class.) They're equally-marked terms.)

I think the equally marked term "cis" is very necessary, but whether equally marked terms are used / developed / preferred depends on the culture / subculture / group. In English, deaf people do use the term "Deaf" for themselves and want to be called that way. In German, it's quite the opposite. Deaf Germans desire to be called "gehörlos" (without-hearing), they dislike "taub" (deaf) and they hate the previously used official term "taubstumm" (deaf-mute) with a passion.
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
superglucose
hermaj's new favourite
Posts: 2353
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:59 am UTC
Location: Domain of Azura
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby superglucose » Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:35 am UTC

"Cis" makes me think of "cyst" and also it makes the chemist in me very confused.
Image


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 22 guests