0946: “Family Decals”

[tehlaser]

I'll confirm that these are a big deal here in Utah. My dad got so fed up with them that he put the South Park characters on his rear window to stay sane.

I'd be on-board if Randall or anyone else decided to make these!

I saw a coupe here in Utah a few days ago whose owner elected to put a family decal on it. Just one, all by itself.

[Zinho]

For everyone wondering about how these stickervans deal with changes in the family or why they'd make the decision to show the pregnant mother, the answer is simply that they don't cost much and are fairly easy to remove/replace. I know that the cost issue is relative, but for an affluent and silly suburban family a couple of dollars per sticker won't break the bank, even for Mormon families. In my experience the type of family that does this has at least one member who is into artsy-crafty things, and there's a product called "cricut" that will do CNC-style cutting of vinyl sheets. There's a cartridge (discontinued?) that they sold specifically for making these stickers:

http://www.cricut.com/res/samplesheets/2000596-CarDecals_samplesheet.pdf

My favorite joke about this, though was about Warren Jeffs, the man ran a polygamist group and is serving a 119 year sentence for child rape:



Original caption: how Warren Jeffs was REALLY caught

[crystalmeph]

Do the license plates mean anything? It looks like the family one is "I(E-|_|3" and the rich one starts "L(".

[sobrik]

Long time reader, and I just registered this morning so I can echo the cry to PLEASE put these stickers in the XKCD shop! My childfree fiance and I wold love to put them on our rear windows

[knowman]

A while ago I had posted on Facebook that I wanted a set of family decals that were running across the window, being chased by zombies. The Facebook crowd didn't think it was that funny, but I'm sure there's a market for it somewhere.

I'm pretty sure that market is right here.

Anyone have a better guess on the Alt text? I don't buy the "cat is the center of the family" theory since it's only little girls. (No offense, Odd_nonposter.)

[12mile]

Interesting decals. From what I can see, the guy stays unchanged. The wife changes from what looks like a space alien into a long-haired blonde. Must be nice having money.* Or marrying it (don't want to be too sexist; it might just as easily be the blonde who has the piles of money. [On the topic of sexism, is it just me or does every one of the cars that carry these things have the guy in the first position? Never the gal. Are we still in the olden {not necessarily golden} days when the male was automatically listed on the census forms as the Head of Household?]).

One other commenter already noted that there has been no discussion of the alt. text. ?

__
* Alternate explanation. Having (and raising) kids affects the mother in many strange ways. The father? Not so much.

[barnacle]

Having two kids in diapers right now, I can definitely appreciate the humor... but not everything of value can be measured in money. That being said, I hate those f*cking "look at me I'm a breeder, I'm better than you" stickers. None of that shit on MY subaru

[GreyingJay]

Subaru Outback and Honda Fit

So I wasn't the only one! Although I guessed a Subaru Tribeca.

I'd buy a decal like that.

[CptnSpldng]

Since this thread is turning into a "which parts of the country will get this comic" listing, I can confirm that they're pretty popular in Central NC.

Based on personal experience, I can also point out that having a child (or three) is not as much of a cash sink until they hit about 15 or 16, and the more important reality is that the DINKs have more time.

The best one I saw was a family where the Mom sticker was very obviously missing.

Which brings up my biggest concern about something like this: imagine you're the parent, and something tragic happens to your child. Do you leave the sticker on with the constant reminder of their existence, or do you find the strength to accept the finality of their death and remove the sticker? Not a fun proposition in either case.

My Mom died (at age 88) this spring and I still can't bring myself to delete her listing from my cell phone.

[Mithiwithi]

A while ago I had posted on Facebook that I wanted a set of family decals that were running across the window, being chased by zombies. The Facebook crowd didn't think it was that funny, but I'm sure there's a market for it somewhere.

I'm pretty sure that market is right here.

Anyone have a better guess on the Alt text? I don't buy the "cat is the center of the family" theory since it's only little girls. (No offense, Odd_nonposter.)

Nah, I think Steve the Pocket's "a cat about to get the Elmyra Duff treatment from a swarm of little girls all at once is funny" theory pretty much works for me.

Although I did briefly think of it as a Madoka Magica reference, with the cat sticker representing Kyubey. If you know anything about the show, that's even creepier than the army of kitty-loving little girls.

[thebrotherdoug]

Can haz actual xckd decals? Pls to put on the store site. Thanks in advance!

[JamieWho]

The blonde is hotter too.

[rwilson04]

Maybe the alt-text is about making people who see it that sticker placement go "huh? what?". If so, it worked on me.

[Crabik]

He's always loved the dog.

[Netreker0]

I'd buy stickers of two wolves and a toddler for my car.

[annybanana]

I saw it as a reversal of the "crazy cat lady" stereotype. Instead of a girl with a bunch of cats, it's a cat with a bunch of girls.

[ShortChelsea]

I'm in Western Kentucky and they're common place here. I'm always confused about the baby figures. Do the parents not know that the thing ages, or do they rip it off and replace it in a few years?

[eran_rathan]

common in Maine as well.



re: unmarked cars -

Around here, the cops use Mustangs, Imprezas, a BMW, and several other vehicles for unmarked cars. Most of them were seized in drug busts, and re-fitted as cruisers. The State Police also have several Suburbans that the Border Patrol sold them.

[Mikeski]

The unmarked cops in Seattle love to put these on their cars, so watch out!

Aren't "unmarked" cop cars painfully obvious because of the goofy extra antennas and the fact that they're all Crown Victorias? Or is it different in Seattle?

Here in Minneapolis, Crown Vics are almost all taxicabs. Recent muscle cars are the car of choice for plainclothes (Challengers, Mustangs). And not much with the array of extra antennas.

Best one I saw was the town I lived in 11-12 years ago... it was a total whi... er... um... "vehicle modified in a way which implies it is owned by a Caucasian teenager who is enamored of non-Caucasian urban youth culture." Ancient SUV, lift kit, rims worth more than the rest of the vehicle, blacked-out windows... had a regular squad-car-topper light bar in the back, which you could only see when it was turned on due to how dark the back windows were. (And as the poster above said, almost certainly a drug-bust seizure repurposed.)

Re: Family stickers... not terribly common here in Minnesota. I think there's more of the "my kid's an honor student at Johnathan John Johnson Jr. middle school" (and an almost-equal number of "my kid beat up your honor student" types, /sigh.)

[jpk]

My car has personality (she's funny, right?)

Um, no. It doesn't have personality, it's a car. An "it", not a "she".

[chrth]

You're right about the time, but feeding and clothing and housing and medically maintaining even a small human costs a lot. It's just that when it's rolled into your weekly grocery bill or your monthly insurance premium, it's not as obvious as a new car payment or college tuition. Check your employer's insurance plans and see how much less you'd be paying for just yourself or yourself and spouse.

I disagree, and I'm not just being an ass. Housing, well, I pay the same mortgage for my house whether or not there's a four-year old living in it. I guess if you have to purchase a larger house to hold your entire family there's a cost involved there, although intelligent planning (both before and after) will definitely mitigate this.

Groceries ... a four year old doesn't eat much. I do have to pay for day care for him, but that's pre-tax income. I don't believe we pay any extra insurance for him, and my health plan costs a lot less to add a child than a spouse (and in fact, my plan allows me to add multiple children without it going up), by ymmv.

For clothes, I've found that Amazon.com wish lists help very much there.

And most importantly, the cost of a child is more than offset by the reduction of nice dinners and movies my wife and I go to.

[Kain]

Spoiler:

He's always loved the dog.

Is it bad that my first thought was "Aww, poor kitty!"?

edited to add spoiler tag (good idea poster below me)

[A_of_s_t]

Spoiler:

He's always loved the dog.

I think I laughed a little too loudly at this.

[rcox1]

So this seems to be saying "Haha, look at those dumb people!" but does so in such an arrogant, pretentious way as to make the "rich" couple seem like petulant jerks. Personally, I'd rather have love and family than a pile of money (although I'll take both if I can get them, obviously).y I live alone with no pets, though, so I guess I could only have one adult sticker, which would probably be sort of sad-looking. The person in this thread with one man and one cat is being much more clever.

Actually, the second car seems to have stickers that look like Randy and Megan; maybe that's just the ransom money her family sent. Heh.

Also, the Honda Fit (assuming the person upthread identified it correctly; I couldn't tell) is one of the ugliest cars on the road right now. A friend recently described it to me as "the illegitimate offspring of a minivan and a station wagon."

And honestly that should be the choice of each individual or couple. Yet the assumption is that a man, a woman, and kids is the only acceptable situation, and by putting a sticker depicting this one is asserting that status quo. Suggesting with a competing sticker that other lifestyles are equally valid, i.e. a couple living together for companionship and sex with no intention of justifying the sex with procreation, is valid. One benefit of DINKhood is that expendable cash is often more available.
<p>
Beyond this is the idea that a family is a atomic unit that does not depend on outside forces. This is clearly not the case. Family is a stress that effects all of us. Many families live in the low density suburbs which requires much expensive infrastructure, much of which is paid by taxpayers with no family and no use for the infrastructure. In Texas everyone is expected to pay for a billion dollar road around houston just so families can have cheap big houses. At my job, we are asked to make accommodations for employees who have kids, while those of us who do not have kids are not given equal opportunities. Really I have no problem with this. I believe kids are very important, and we should be a village to raise them. But when people flaunt their family, and expect other to bow down to their needs as inferior beings, then I get a bit peeved.

[Uzh]

[
Are these…common? I’ve never seen them before.

To follow the thread of "It's common here...": In Germany it's quite common just to put decals for the children on your rear window. Especially when you have two children, you tend to put one on the right corner and one on the other corner (where the child-seats are supposed to be on the rear seats). Usually you see the names of the child under the stick figure (in comic sans...)

Sometimes you also find the "$baby's_name on board" on the rear. There are some milk-powder firms to sell them with their promo-packs you can apply for.



A friend of mine once put "No f**ing child with a stupide name on board" on his rear window. I laughed, my wife didn't appreciate the humor. Our daughter was half a year this time.

Oh yes. I don't know, what to do with the alt-text.

Georg

[chawley650]

Not only do blondes have more fun,
they also have more money and fewer child procs. ;^)

- CJ"revising clichés for fun and profit"H / esper

[avronius]

Two things...

First - The Alt text... Anyone ever see a small group of young girls discover that there's a kitten in the vicinity? Like moths to a flame!

Second - The stickers... I would think that having a single "adult" sticker (advertising that you don't live with a second adult) would only increase your risk of falling victim to an attack (home invasion or otherwise). No?

[chrth]

Yet the assumption is that a man, a woman, and kids is the only acceptable situation, and by putting a sticker depicting this one is asserting that status quo.

I don't buy this at all. Just like I don't believe people that put jesus fishes on their car were thinking "this ought to convert a few tailgaters!", I don't think people putting these stickers on their car are trying to assert anything. They saw something someone else had done as a way to take pride in their family, and they're doing the same because they too take pride in their family.

It's others who - usually guided by their own insecurities and/or egos - assert any meaning beyond what the originator intended. To give a simplistic example: I put a Packers SB XLV sticker on my car to celebrate their victory; I did not put it on my car to harass fans of the Steelers for their loss. However, I am sure there are Steelers fans who see that sticker and get upset and probably think I did it to annoy them.

Yes, it's a little egotistical to think that anyone cares you have a family or an honor student. But I don't believe the large majority are doing it to brag or be arrogant or to think they're better than the guy driving behind them. They're expressing a source of happiness or loyalty in their life, and that is all.

***

Of course, you then have the "responses", like the Darwin fish* or the "My Kid Can Beat Up Your Honor Student" or even this cartoon. In this case the motivation likelihood has been flipped; yes, there are probably a few who genuinely care enough about evolution to declare it on their fender and I'm sure a couple people with the "My Kid can beat up..." just thought it was funny. But the majority of the people with these are asserting something; their goal is to brag or be arrogant or to think they're better than the guy driving behind them.

The sad thing is how the responses are almost as popular as the original, and what that says about society.

*Before anyone tries to accuse me of being religious, I'm very pro-Darwin, existential, and a skeptical agnostic. My issue is with the motivation behind the Darwin fish (and the Flying Spaghetti Monster), not the intrinsic ideas. I also had a problem with the Jesus Fish eating the Darwin Fish, as that just didn't make sense.

[marieC]

My car has personality (she's funny, right?)

Um, no. It doesn't have personality, it's a car. An "it", not a "she".

No, it was a poor attempt at an Arrested Development joke. My car's name is Egg and we pretty her up for Easter.

Actually, the car "personality" thing is a big discussion between a co-worker and I. My belief is that cars don't have personalities, you do. So buying or not buying a car based on it's "personality" or "style" says way more about you than it does the car. Of course my husband pointed out that "it's practical and utilitarian, like you." I asked if I could also be considered "cheap or affordable." He changed the subject.

[cream wobbly]

What is not being discussed here is how the people with the kids are obviously douchebags and jealous of the people with money.

I mean, why else would they park sooooo close as to make it impossible for the DINKs to get in the driver-side door of their car?

My thinking was the other way around, because, y'know, I have a kid and this happens to me all the time. There's barely any paint left on the door edge to transfer to other vehicles....

[ctristan]

We get them a lot down in Phoenix, AZ as well. At least it seems more on the richer East side than the poorer West side. I don't really care about them, although a few are neat, for example sometimes they're skeletons or skull and crossbones. Haven't seen any geeky ones yet unfortunately.

Also my wife wants us to get a "Dog on Board" or such sign for our car, since we drive with our dogs a lot. Am I going to be in trouble if I actually get such a sign and forget to take it off while they're at home?

[cream wobbly]

*Before anyone tries to accuse me of being religious, I'm very pro-Darwin, existential, and a skeptical agnostic. My issue is with the motivation behind the Darwin fish (and the Flying Spaghetti Monster), not the intrinsic ideas. I also had a problem with the Jesus Fish eating the Darwin Fish, as that just didn't make sense.

My problem with the Jesus fish is that these people are identifying with persecuted Roman Christians, often while persecuting others for their life choices.

[cream wobbly]

We get them a lot down in Phoenix, AZ as well. [...] sometimes they're skeletons

That woud be a reference to Día de los Muertos.

[chrth]

My problem with the Jesus fish is that these people are identifying with persecuted Roman Christians, often while persecuting others for their life choices.

Well, I always have a huge problem with people whose actions are in contradiction with their beliefs. However, since I don't interview each individual person I see with a jesus fish (and to be honest, I see a lot fewer of them nowadays, and I live in the bible belt) and as a general rule I think the best of people until I actually meet them, I don't have this same issue.

[sotanaht]

oh wow, this is a total GOOMHR moment!
I live in Australia, these damn awful decals are ubiquitous. And annoying. Seems like just about every family car has a set depicting all family members. But I was recently driving and saw this:

BMW Z4 my family stickers by majikfaerie, on Flickr

Seriously - anyone putting My Family stickers on a BMW Z4 deserves to have their car confiscated for crimes against humanity! Or at least against discernment in automobiles.

I may be completely wrong here, but to me that picture looks like a sticker of a guy on a motorcycle about to run down some "my family" decals.

[Andrusi]

I also had a problem with the Jesus Fish eating the Darwin Fish, as that just didn't make sense.

I like to mentally reinterpret those ones to mean the Darwin fish is the good one because it's the only one suitable for eating.

[Haylo]

I had always wondered if those weren't kill tallies like on fighter planes.

No, proper placement for that would be along the fender or underneath the driver's window.
Although if you were to put a large self-adhesive "X" over one or more of the figures I wonder how long it would take before the car's owner would notice.

The power of XKCD forums.. I'm no longer cringing, I'm now making evil "X" plans and hoping this trend makes it over the pond to England.

[WildBidoof]

Southern California, all over the place. I'd buy ones made by Randall.

I would buy these too. it would go well with my FSM Decal

[ribblefizz]

I've lived and traveled all over the southern and southeastern US in the past 20 years, and I've seen them EVERYWHERE.

A few things that stick out in my mind:

1. An attempted kidnapping at a local school by a man who had made note of the *names* accompanying the stick figures (dumbest. idea. ever) and told "Jill" that "your mommy wants me to pick you up, because your brother 'Charlie' hurt himself playing soccer and she's at the hospital with him, so I'm supposed to take you to meet her there." The bright side is that "Jill" knew that, although "Charlie's" sticker showed him in cleats with a soccer ball, he'd quit playing the year before and taken up some other hobby/sport instead, and that Jill's mom was at least bright enough to tell her kids that, "Just because someone knows our names doesn't mean they know US." This incident was not the first time that particular family had had issues with people claiming to know them based only on the names attached to the stickers, but it WAS enough to convince the mom to take that crap off.

2. I have seen many family stickers around here (far west Texas) with halos and wings, for not only the human figures but the pets too.

3. Just yesterday I saw stickers with the mom and kids on one side of the window, and the dad on the far other side of the window all by himself. My first thought was, "Restraining order?"

4. I've always been told that the "baby on board" placards (which I first encountered in Germany, though they picked up pretty quickly over here) were so that other drivers would be more careful and leave more distance between your car and theirs. Seems like just another feel-safe distraction to me, but whatever.

5. There is a family in my town who has an entire damn stick-figure family TREE on the tailgate of their pickup - and this is a town that tends to have BIG families. Last time I saw it there were easily 50-60 people represented on it, and as far as I can tell it seems to include the in-laws' inlaws. I never have a camera with me when I see it, though (or can't get a shot because we're on the freeway and I'm driving, or...). I'll try to get a picture of it and remember to post it here. It's ... wow.

[saurongt]

A similar theme was hit in a Whattheduck comic from just a few days ago:

http://whattheduck.net/home?page=0%2C4

In otherwords, it might not be the best idea to state exactly how much cash is stored in the car.