xkcd

by **Sean Quixote** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:36 am UTC

You get your father.

I put a can of soda in the machine.

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:05 am UTC

You get a soda blast.
I put everyone in the machine.

by **Sean Quixote** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:29 am UTC

You get Homestar Runner!

I put a cassette tape in the machine.

by **AvatarIII** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:27 am UTC

you get an 8-Track

i put in a VHS

by **Sean Quixote** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:39 am UTC

You get a face full of celluloid spat back at you at high speed.

I put an infomercial into the machine.

by **Gypped** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:04 pm UTC

You get a lingering sense of distrust.

I put in a crumpled up note card with the string of characters QA601.K4 written on it in graphite.

by **Sean Quixote** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:26 pm UTC

You get your library card revoked.

I put a harp in the machine.

by **Gypped** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:15 am UTC

You get back a harpsichord.

I put Lie Algebras into the vending machine.

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:06 pm UTC

You get a Killing form.

I put philosophy into the machine.

by **blademan9999** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:07 pm UTC

You get wikipedia.
I put wikipedia in the machine.

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:16 pm UTC

YES! That's exactly what I would have said to that, too.

Anyway, you get a list of lists of lists.

I put Engrish to machine.

by **TheSweetKill** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:51 am UTC

you get an arphabet

I put in Geography

by **Sean Quixote** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:11 am UTC

You get Algebra.

I put an orange in the machine.

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:58 am UTC

You get orange peel.

I put a light bulb in the machine

by **curtis95112** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:53 pm UTC

You get a bad joke about stereotypes.

I put Banach and Tarski in the vending machine.

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 8:59 am UTC

You get Zermelo and Fraenkel.

I put my penis in the machine.

by **AvatarIII** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:25 am UTC

you get a baby,

i put all my loose change in the machine

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:32 am UTC

You get a conspiracy theory "documentary".

I put the debt ceiling into the machine.

by **SmoothBlade** » Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:55 pm UTC

You get a ticket reading "1 Free Credit Rating Downgrade on the Country Of Your Choice!" with instructions written on the back. Uhoh...

I place all the piles from the Take a penny Leave a penny thread into the vending machine

by **chaoztheory1** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:51 am UTC

The Vending machine eats your contribution and regurgitates it in front of you.

I place a restraining order in the vending machine.

by **SmoothBlade** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:03 pm UTC

You get a really poking stick

I put a broken dart from my dartboard in the vending machine

by **Sean Quixote** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:37 am UTC

There is a bright flash of light that emanates from out of every orifice of the vending machine, quite perceptible, but only for a seemingly impossibly tiny moment.

You get an anachronisms; a c- on your English homework, along with a lingering sense of distrustful regret, an ashew, and error, a hamburger, a banana, a pile of mixed and unidentifiable atoms that once made up two pennies, a vending machine, a nautilius femur shovel, and a catfish; as you enter the room* for the first time, you notice a gaggle of roombas on the floor, trying in vain to sweep up a string of words: (CANNOT affect the pile limiter or anything in the replicating item list.) (* - but, that is, only if we are in fact currently in a room!)

There is a quantum superposition of either: an odd answer for an odd question, along with an odd gaze, a rift from a parallel dimension, 3 pennies, a shilling, a loonie, a Canadian nickel, a Mexican peso and a yen, or, something else, in a pile, in the Wasteland. There is half of a dead SmoothBlade holding a clogged SIG, next to a small hole in the wasteland. Lorenz is standing over the pile with a note, turning it over throughout eternity. A set of footprints with official Vault-Tec tread heads away. Another trail, made by a rather aimless person, dissapears into the shimmering desert distance in the North and South. A third tread heads off to the east, and the tread indicates that the person who made these treads, was dancing to the song "Thriller."

Their is now a vending machine standing tall, but under restraint. An undistructible penny materializes and falls to the ground. You get [sic]. A bad case of typoglycemia, it seems. You need some glucoes. A battling Dargon and Gildamesh suddenly, and quite rudely one might add, *ahem*, burst through the wall as you play chess. A sense of curious bewilderment and a dead corps clutching the letter 'e' in one cold, dead hand, a pair of wretched and twisted glasses with shattered lenses, and a hamburger. The broken dart flies out of the coin receptacle at a blurry velocity and whistles just past your ear. Due to the poor aerodynamics, a single fiber is dislodged from one of the feathers just as it passes your face, and it gets in your eye. The world is in sepia. Now you have a floater, except this one's actually real.

by **SmoothBlade** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:34 pm UTC

Cool I got my nautilus bone shovel back!

I light the roombas on fire and put them in the vending machine

by **Sean Quixote** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 12:44 am UTC

You get the smell of a burnt vacuum cleaner hose.

I forget to put anything in the vending machine.

by **SmoothBlade** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:43 pm UTC

you get a stale bag of sour cream and onion chips anyway

I smash the machine with the nautilus bone shovel until the shovel breaks

by **MisterH** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:51 pm UTC

a Rubik's Cube pops out and hits you square in the forehead.

I put in a bone fragment shaped like a raptor claw.

by **Kromix** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:34 pm UTC

you get a floppy donkey fleshy coupling device that keeps staring at you.

i grab Sean Quixote and feed him to the vending machine

by **Quantum Sunshine** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:13 pm UTC

You get me out.

Finally getting out of the vending machine after about 10 or 20 pages, I shove Kromix into the machine.

by **mind404** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:19 pm UTC

You get Kromix back, but with a haunted look in his eyes...

I put in a lovely bunch of coconuts

by **Kromix** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:31 pm UTC

you get a bunch of lovely swallows tied by strings together.. they claw at you... not so lovely after all

i lube up quantum sunshine and shove her back into the vending machine ;p

by **Quantum Sunshine** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:36 pm UTC

You get screams out of the vending machine. Probably that horrible Quantum Sunshine.

I put out a quarter.

by **Tomlidich** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:03 pm UTC

you get back a large iphone shaped piece of marble.

i put in an old rubber band.

by **Kromix** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:11 pm UTC

i shove the quarter back in.

i put a wire coat hanger into the vending machine and pull out a lubed up Quantum Sunshine, then put the wire hanger back into the machine

by **Kokojo** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:01 pm UTC

You get a angry old lady fussing about the quality of coat hangers these days.

I put in the herd.

by **Quantum Sunshine** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:17 am UTC

You get out the herd, but several hundred times larger.

I put in nothing, for I have realized that I am content with what I have. If I got anything more, I would have useless excess. And if I had any less, I would have to little to survive. Not knowing what the almighty vending machine shall return, I do not take the risk.

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:10 am UTC

You get tempted to hard and put in your fortune...

However nothing comes out of the machine and you find happiness

I put in this smilie

by **Kromix** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:33 pm UTC

you get raped by 3 horny goats... O.O

i put in said goats in the vending machine

by **SmoothBlade** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:03 pm UTC

You get T3CHNOCR4T, dead, having been killed several times over in the vending machine, yet somehow fully intact

I put Kromix's lower torso in the vending machine

by **madjo** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:46 pm UTC

you get haggis.

I put in a blender

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 6:35 pm UTC

You get a magazine.

I put C-SPAN in the machine.

Who is online