Vending machine!

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Tomlidich » Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:35 pm UTC

you get a bulk pallet of bullets. it seems to be covered in blood.....

i put in a note that says "STOP IT"
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby ddog » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:51 pm UTC

You get McHammer.

I put in bottle of crab blood
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:56 pm UTC

You get Clammy McClammerson, the Clam with Chlamydia!

I put geardust in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby ddog » Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:36 am UTC

You get Ky Jelly.

I put in a cactus.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Tomlidich » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:23 pm UTC

you get a blood coated dildo.

i put in a ham sandvich
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby MisterH » Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:18 pm UTC

You get an odd aftertaste.

I put in sssssSSSSSsssss BOOM!
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Tomlidich » Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:24 pm UTC

you get a diamond wall. all around you.

i put in a can of whoopass
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby SmoothBlade » Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:42 pm UTC

You get syphilis in a can

I put in a removable discontinuity
Otherwise known as Cheesy or Machete

A conservative furry! What a rarity!
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Lorenz » Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:43 pm UTC

You get a slap in the face.

I put in a quarter (yea... that's what I do).
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby SmoothBlade » Sat Oct 01, 2011 2:54 pm UTC

You get back half of the quarter and a stale cheeto

I put in a non removable discontinuity
Otherwise known as Cheesy or Machete

A conservative furry! What a rarity!
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Quantum Sunshine » Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:05 pm UTC

You get out a Coca-Cola whose expiration date is: October 21st 1563.

I put in the Vending machine!
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby SmoothBlade » Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:53 am UTC

You get a very cold, soggy copy of the Inconvenient Truth, and a framed photograph of Randal holding your mom in his arms, dated about 9 months before you were born


I put in a can on A&W rootbeer and a can of Barq's rootbeer
Otherwise known as Cheesy or Machete

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:33 am UTC

You get two angrily belligerent customers: One demanding a Mountain Dew at a McDonald's; the other demanding a Sprite at the Taco Bell next door.

I put a compromise in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:42 pm UTC

you get a really bad deal.


i put in a soggy paper
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Tomlidich » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:51 pm UTC

you get a really pissed off sentient tree being that smacks you around with his branches.

me and me from the other raptor dimension (still here remember?) put in our combined life savings.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:01 pm UTC

you get a paper back stating "no funds..."

i put in a raptor that is able to travel to multiple dimensions and eats the wannabe wizard Tomlidich :D
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Tomlidich » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:18 pm UTC

the vending machine spits out a note saying: this is the doctor. i want to thank you for giving me this raptor, who was lost from his dimension. also, i am not sure of your intentions, but putting the raptor in the machine wont allow it to eat Tomlidich. (the one from raptor dimension) i canoot just leave two Tomlidichs with you, but right now i have other threads to untangle. i will handle your claim, in about, oh, 3000 years. thanks for your patience."

me and the Tomlidich from raptor dimension put in a can of kromix bait.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Nocta » Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:41 pm UTC

Peter Griffin comes out and steals a sandwich from you.
I put in a 2 liter bottle of mustard and coke.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Thu Oct 27, 2011 12:16 am UTC

You get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter... And some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man... Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas... Two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Oh yeah, and also, a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.


I put an ancient alien in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:34 am UTC

You get a funny-looking little green man who keeps saying: "Do or do not, there is no try".

I put a finger into the vending machine.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Amie » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:30 pm UTC

You get the Five Finger Death Punch's vocalist for one night.

I put in three frog eggs.
Summer is miles and miles away, and no one would ask me to stay.
And I, should contemplate this change... to ease the pain.
And I, should step out of the rain... turn away.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby existential_squirrrel » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:58 am UTC

you get three newts and a monkey


I put in a taquito.
courage is about knowing when to pick yourself up and whisper to yourself, "I will try again tomorrow"
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kokojo » Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:53 pm UTC

You receive Gir

I put in a live parrot and twenty eyelashes.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:58 pm UTC

You get some very runny cheese.

I put in a rabid bobcat and some postage stamps.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:53 am UTC

You get a foamy watermark of a lynx on all of your subsequent posts.

I put in a base ten palindrome.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:07 am UTC

You get a haiku
I'm afraid it's not any good
Better luck next time


I put in all the works of Shakespeare.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:20 pm UTC

You get some really bad acting.

I put the Declaration of Independence into the machine's bill-taker slot.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Oct 31, 2011 4:47 pm UTC

You get out a shredded copy of it with a post-it note attached to it saying: "love you, US Congress" with a little heart in the lower right corner.


I cram democracy into the machine.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby mathgeek17 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:27 am UTC

You get a map of America.

I put in my AP gov homework.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Nocta » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:03 am UTC

You get a large tank of gasoline along with a copy of the Anarchists Cookbook.
I put in a bottle of soysauce.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:04 am UTC

Out comes a plate of chips, drenched in vinegar and a deep fried fish.

I put in some taters.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Posts: 208
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:08 am UTC

You got an octagon.

I put in my copy of Windows 7. (Actually, I don't have Windows 7 or Vista. My computer runs Ubuntu, bitches!!!!!!)
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:29 pm UTC

You get a note saying: "We don't do refunds" and the machine spits out your copy of Windows 7 back in your face.

I put in a peanut butter sandwich.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:43 pm UTC

Out comes a Tube of Jelly that is pissed at you for forgetting about him.

I put in an EPIC Win and and EPIC Fail at the same time.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:09 pm UTC

you get raped by a 72 year old virgin goat

i put in some powdered milk
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:05 am UTC

Your the a 73 year old monkey trying to rape a 72 year old goat

I put in a Fukishima Plant that is mildly damaged.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:08 pm UTC

You get a broken economy.

I put in the unconcious body of one of our developers.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
User avatar
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Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:07 am UTC
Location: Dutch-land

Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:13 pm UTC

You get a unicorn made of solid gold and flies.

I put in a note saying "I wish for a soda. Do not let me down.". Attached to the note is a quarter.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:45 pm UTC

you get a note stating "sodas are 41 cents exact change only"

i put in a dime, a nickel, and a penny... (there's already a quarter in)
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:15 am UTC

Out comes a mysterious beverage! Drink it and you get 372 pennies for your death!

I put in one book on schizophrenia and a box of bullets.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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