xkcd

by **Me321** » Tue Apr 20, 2010 4:26 pm UTC

I will round up all these (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com) people and force them to follow you arround all the time so you eventualy pour bleach in your eyes.

by **tastelikecoke** » Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:13 am UTC

I will try to get close to you and then explode! then covered with bile.

by **Randomizer** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:37 am UTC

I'm going to post in a thread that is a year and a half old, thus unleashing my necromantic powers on the hapless members of this forum.

by **The Scyphozoa** » Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:34 am UTC

I am gonna pee all over my keyboard!

by **Randomizer** » Tue Nov 01, 2011 9:21 am UTC

I'm going to watch! And then post a video of it on the internet for all to see.

by **Sean Quixote** » Wed Nov 16, 2011 11:59 pm UTC

Hi! I'm going to break the fourth wall.

by **jpsheeha** » Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:49 am UTC

I am going to be the fourth wall!

Why must I be broken?!

by **RollingHead** » Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:23 pm UTC

I'm going to colour in the bald spot on the back of your head with a permanent marker!

by **madjo** » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:21 am UTC

Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to replace all your post-it notes with cheap knock offs. You know, the ones that don't stick very well?

by **The Scyphozoa** » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:57 pm UTC

I'm going to call you my friend, and then say, "Sort of."

by **Euler** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:32 pm UTC

If you so much as REFER to me as your "friend", I'm going to bore you with my elaborate proofs of e^i*pi+1=0

by **RollingHead** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:46 pm UTC

You wouldn't dare, lest I wash only one sock of each of the pairs you own with fabric softener so they feel kinda weird when you wear them!

by **madjo** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:16 pm UTC

Well, I knit you the most awesome sweater you'll ever have, but with wool that's slightly itchy.

by **RollingHead** » Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:38 pm UTC

For that, I shall borrow your freshly sharpened pencil and dull the tip.

by **xkcd follower** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:29 am UTC

Don't be hating on Madjo. I will come over there and eat all your tacos and drink all the soda.. And then, I will find your mint-condition comics and turn the corner on ONE of them and never tell you !!! >:)

by **RollingHead** » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:40 pm UTC

Joke's on you, there's no food in my house, but i will get you back for my comic books... in fact, I just might take one of your lightbulbs and replace it with a slightly weaker one.

by **madjo** » Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:39 am UTC

If you do that, I'll shave off a bit of every chair leg and table leg in your house, that they are all a little bit wonky.

by **RollingHead** » Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:54 pm UTC

You leave me no choice but to roll my eyes and snort slightly next time you say something.

by **madjo** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:10 pm UTC

ok, buddy, you asked for it.. I'll follow you around everywhere, and point and laugh at you, often.

by **RollingHead** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:07 pm UTC

Hey! Don't make me dry my freshly washed hands on your towel and leave it hanging crooked.

by **Creativity-Null** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:28 am UTC

O.O

if you do that, I'll smudge the IR trip for your garage door so it will never close :twisted:

by **darknut** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:34 am UTC

well im ganna super glue down your mattress so in a few months when you try and flip it, YOU CAN'T
hope you like sleeping in the same ever growing depression for the rest of your life

by **mieulium** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:31 am UTC

HAH! I don't slip on a mattress. But since you suggested, I will bore a cavity and put a pressure sensor so that whenever you sit on the bed or make a slight movement, it will register as you getting on on twitter for the whole world to see! (yup this isn't an original idea )

by **Byrel** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:08 am UTC

Just for that I'll hijack your Twitter account and make you RETWEET all his motions.

by **RollingHead** » Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:03 pm UTC

Well excuse me while I slightly oversweeten your morning coffee.

by **Metazoan** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:16 pm UTC

Do that and I'll cut a notch across the side of your brand new roll of adhesive tape.

You'll never enjoy wrapping presents again.

by **matt96** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:52 pm UTC

Now you are just asking for it

Just for that, I am going to unwrap all of your presents, email you pictures of them before you get them, and then re-wrap them sloppily!

by **Metazoan** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:31 am UTC

You don't scare me.

If you even think of doing that, I will sharpen all the edges of your wrapping paper.

by **Kyreles** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:10 pm UTC

Well, I'm gonna bring you a coffee and a bagel every morning. Then, when you've grown accustomed to it, I'll inexplicably stop.

by **RollingHead** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:05 pm UTC

Then I'll make you feel inadequate by looking at the bagel like there's something wrong with it, then sighing and thanking you half heartedly before eating it.

by **Metazoan** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:50 pm UTC

if you do that, I'll tear a small hole in all of your tea-bags.

by **LOLBeth** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:15 pm UTC

mieulium wrote:HAH! I don't slip on a mattress.

Says you. I'm going to leave a mattress in front of your bedroom door where you'll slip on it in the middle of the night and fall on the cat.

by **RollingHead** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 5:23 pm UTC

Then I shall do nothing but watch and snicker as the angry cat pukes on your floor.

by **darknut** » Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:40 am UTC

i'm just ganna leave this here
and itll be stuck in your heads and then youll head-desk you hard youll get concused

by **matt96** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:38 am UTC

Yeah, well I just paused the video as soon as it started, so you have a general obligation to come up with something worthy of retaliation, because that last attempt was flawed.

by **Kyreles** » Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:17 pm UTC

Well, I'm gonna put a put a saucer of milk outside your door at night so all the neighborhood cats will start hanging around your house.

by **matt96** » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:13 am UTC

yeah, well I will just dump the milk all over your front door, and keep your saucer!

by **darknut** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:29 am UTC

Im ganna come to your house at night with a hammer
and re-shingle your roof, without your permision
and ill do a pretty shoddy job of it too

by **RollingHead** » Mon Aug 20, 2012 11:59 pm UTC

Not on my watch! I'm gonna go right into your kitchen and loosen the lid on your new milk so you'll think I tampered with it!

by **matt96** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:25 am UTC

If you do that, I'll be forced to let it spoil, then throw it at your place of residence!

Who is online