Vending machine!

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:11 am UTC

The vending machine gives you a box of chocolates with a note attached to it: "This is like life. You never know what you're gonna get."

I put in some running shoes.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:46 am UTC

You get out a Linux package.

I put in a leaf.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:23 pm UTC

You get some moldy tree bark

I put in the colour blue and the letter Z.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby mathgeek17 » Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:43 pm UTC

You get Elmo!

I put in a magical scarf.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby The Scyphozoa » Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:11 pm UTC

You get an evil tie.

I put in a sign that says "Strudel D".
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 22, 2011 4:39 am UTC

You get a Belgium Waffle.

I put in an anti-paradox paradox
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Tue Nov 22, 2011 5:57 pm UTC

You get an eternal golden braid.

I get what I put in.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 22, 2011 10:34 pm UTC

You get nothing then.

I put in spaghetti.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ralith The Third » Fri Nov 25, 2011 10:33 am UTC

You get a dinosaur. It appears to be walking.

I put in a a Mastodon CD.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:11 pm UTC

You get a dentist appointment for a root canal.

I put in a dirty keyboard.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:00 pm UTC

you get xkcd comic #237
Spoiler:
http://xkcd.com/237


I put in a can of soda
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:23 am UTC

you get a new can of soda, that may or may not have been shaken...

I put in a few empty bottles.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ralith The Third » Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:04 pm UTC

They are shot at your head.

I put in an alot.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:26 pm UTC

you get the correct grammatical form "a lot"

I pur in the grammatically incorrect word grammer.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:12 am UTC

You get a note saying: "we dont axcept purs."[sic]

I put in a dictionary.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Posts: 208
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:36 am UTC

You get a thesaurus.

I put in a Fez, 'cause fezes are cool.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Dr.Buck » Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:24 pm UTC

You get Tommy Cooper.

I put in an angry stoat.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:26 am UTC

You get an angry Cobra

I put in a pair of slightly used scissors and some unused paper. I also put in the hopes of something amazing!
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ralith The Third » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:17 am UTC

You get an origami kazoo.

I put in my love.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:26 pm UTC

you get a plush companion cube

i put in a shocky monkey
Image
Click Me! <---- Click There! :)
Spoiler:
Image
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:06 pm UTC

You get a sea monkey!!!

I put in a keyboard
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:36 pm UTC

You get a note saying: "typewriters are much better"

I put in a Stetson, cuz Stetsons are cooler than fezzes. (also I had to replace mine with a Resistol)
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:08 pm UTC

You get a Fez for the comment and a voice from inside (surprisingly like the Doctor's) saying "You are wrong. Fezzes are cool." over and over again.

I put in a Fez to replace the one that the machine lost.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby King of Frogs » Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:01 pm UTC

The machine stubbornly keeps the fez, now convinced of its inherent coolness.

I put in a fuzzy hat.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Dec 04, 2011 1:51 pm UTC

You get one of those fuzzy caterpillars.

I put in a Van Gogh paining of a church.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:58 pm UTC

You get a thirteen word essay on the distinction between Monet and Manet.

I put the letter t in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby King of Frogs » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:39 pm UTC

You get tea.

I put in another vending machine.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:11 pm UTC

You get divided by zero, and you cease to exist.

I put in a hatchett.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby King of Frogs » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:23 pm UTC

You get instructions on how to bury it.

I put in my own non-existance.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:56 pm UTC

You get a vending machine!!!

I put in a sticky note and a green pen.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby existential_squirrrel » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:03 am UTC

you get a hastily written thesis draft that can only be described as horrible


I put in my organic chemistry final
courage is about knowing when to pick yourself up and whisper to yourself, "I will try again tomorrow"
http://http://stats.free-dc.org/cpidtagb.php?cpid=f0b63432195be1a8665b08c414e36545&theme=12&cols=1
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:33 am UTC

Out comes the completed test (Like you would want it) and a small note saying not to cheat.

I put in the Great Depression!!
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby existential_squirrrel » Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:45 am UTC

you get generation Y



I put in five research articles and a half- written psychology paper based on the research articles
courage is about knowing when to pick yourself up and whisper to yourself, "I will try again tomorrow"
http://http://stats.free-dc.org/cpidtagb.php?cpid=f0b63432195be1a8665b08c414e36545&theme=12&cols=1
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:45 am UTC

You get blank paper and a pen as the machine does not accept failed ideological studies.

I put in one of those foam mattress that NASA developed.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:09 pm UTC

You get a folloping and volleuing mattress from Sqornshellous Zeta called Zem.

I put in an unfinished manuscript labeled "And another thing" by Douglas Adams.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
User avatar
madjo
 
Posts: 208
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kromix » Fri Dec 09, 2011 3:17 pm UTC

you get a used condom...

i put in a fleshlight
Image
Click Me! <---- Click There! :)
Spoiler:
Image
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:51 pm UTC

You get shocked by a couple of D batteries.


I put a peyote button in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:49 pm UTC

You get a coat hanger

I put in all the great literary works every created.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:37 am UTC

You get Twilight fanfiction.

I put in all Discworld novels.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
User avatar
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Posts: 208
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:10 pm UTC

You get a VCR

I put in all 5 of the short videos of There She Is (Step 1 to 5). These great cartoons need something special now.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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