Vending machine!

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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:07 am UTC

You get a scratched DVD with Dangermouse episodes that were originally tape recorded on a tape that was already on its last legs.

I put in some Harry Potter-Imelda Umbridge slashfic in the vending machine.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:46 am UTC

You get a slashfiction of Hermione, Ginny, and Luna. It is mildly disturbing.

I put in a one dollar coin.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Cryft » Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:54 am UTC

You receive a 25 cent bill.

I put in 16 "B" buttons from xbox360 controllers.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby The Scyphozoa » Wed Dec 14, 2011 4:04 am UTC

You get an Easy Button.
(Um, Imelda is the first name of the actress who plays Dolores Umbridge.)

I put in a IMDB link.
Image
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:37 pm UTC

You get a loud "D'oh!" coming from the machine.

I put in my shame.


(I had read the IMDB page, and was determined to get the name right... and still I failed, I are ashamed)
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:42 pm UTC

You get a book called "How to use Proper Grammer" for your spelling error.

Spoiler:
Yes, I know I spelled Grammar wrong. I did it on purpose.


I put in my 25 cent bill, hoping to get my dollar coin or something better back
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:20 am UTC

You get... another 25 cent bill!

I put in my headache.


Spoiler:
btw, I made that grammar mistake on purpose :P
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:31 am UTC

You get a bottle of Nyquil for no real reason.

I put in this very funny video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2Z23SAFVA
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:59 pm UTC

You get a response video, which comes in the form of a one-second long kinetic typography clip of a huge quotation: "FIRST!" that falls from the sky and hits the ground with a crash, complete with voice acting and proper accreditation at the end.

I reach behind the vending machine's ear and pull out a coin, which I then insert into the machine's coin slot.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ralith The Third » Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:58 pm UTC

Wierd. Your ear tingles. When you reach up to scratch it, nothing is there. Not even your ear. Because it is now in the vending machine.

I put in my ear.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kokojo » Sun Dec 18, 2011 4:44 am UTC

You receive a cooked ear, ready to be eated.

I insert a psychology textbook about kids behaviors at age 2-4.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:13 pm UTC

You get a book on psychology for teenagers.

I put in a blanket
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:26 am UTC

You get the chills.

I put in the book The Gaudy Key.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:11 pm UTC

You get the Communist Manifesto

I put in the Book of Mormon
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:46 pm UTC

You get a Tony.

I put Bologna in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:32 pm UTC

You get a Donald Trump cassette tape.

I put in the left over pizza from last night
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:23 pm UTC

You get a White Castle burger.

I put in one sheared sheep.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Wed Dec 21, 2011 10:39 pm UTC

You get zero cold turkey.

I put Ron Paul in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Bartimaeus » Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:20 am UTC

You get unequal rights.

I put a(my?) suicide note in the machine
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:18 am UTC

You get a gun and a bullet.

I put in Google Chrome, Firefox, and Safari
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Bartimaeus » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:42 am UTC

You get Firefox.

I put in a modified bear.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:03 pm UTC

you get a beer stew.

I put in all my (pretty much non-existent) holiday cheer.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:24 pm UTC

You get a Happy New Year!!!!

I put in SOPA and PIPA!

"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby ELProphet » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:40 pm UTC

You get a RIAA subpoena.

I put in a coat hangar and a plan B.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Ralith The Third » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:52 pm UTC

You get... no. No. No. Not going to go there.


I put in happy thoughts.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Bartimaeus » Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:28 am UTC

You get a moose.

I put the moose back in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:45 am UTC

You get a mouse.

I put cold in the machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Sat Dec 24, 2011 4:15 am UTC

Yet another moose comes out, but this one wearing sunglasses.

I put my new "furry freedom" into the machine.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Tue Dec 27, 2011 2:23 pm UTC

You get a Gilette Superspeed 1957 shaver with a boar shaving brush, some shaving soap and a pack of Feather blades. and a note saying: "you should shave more often."

I put in today's collection of coffee cups.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby blackened45 » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:12 pm UTC

you get unlimited coffee but no cups

i put in the another vending machine inside the machine
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:14 pm UTC

You get a paradox. The only thing to fix it is if you put yourself into it.

I place Blackened45 into the paradox machine to fix it.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 30, 2011 12:45 pm UTC

You get a lame comedy movie about cloned people on dvd.

I put in my faulty brain
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Posts: 208
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Location: Dutch-land

Re: Vending machine!

Postby Bartimaeus » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:34 pm UTC

You get a working brain

I put in Thomas Edison
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Sean Quixote » Sun Jan 01, 2012 10:25 pm UTC

You get Nikola Tesla.

I put Steve Jobs into the vending machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Vohu Manah » Tue Jan 03, 2012 5:06 am UTC

You get a brushed silver plaque and a turtleneck.

I put a Zune into the vending machine.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Jan 03, 2012 12:12 pm UTC

You get a Lorax.

I put in my computer with a screwed up harddrive
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Jan 16, 2012 1:52 pm UTC

You get a computer with a good harddrive, but a fried motherboard.

I put in Jim Moriarty.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Posts: 208
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:18 am UTC

I shake the vending machine, in the hopes that something falls out of it.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
User avatar
madjo
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:07 am UTC
Location: Dutch-land

Re: Vending machine!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:45 pm UTC

You get a bunch of maggots that have apparently digested him.

I cement the output hole shut and then insert raptors.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby madjo » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:58 pm UTC

You didn't wait long enough for the cement to set, and the shark that came out broke through the cement and is now chasing you.

I put in a cd by Justin Bieber.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.
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Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:07 am UTC
Location: Dutch-land

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