xkcd

by **jendral_hxr** » Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:26 am UTC

Good news: zombies can't use guns

by **xkcd follower** » Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:37 pm UTC

Bad news: They can use throwing knives quite well and accurately.

by **jendral_hxr** » Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:35 pm UTC

Good news: they don't have the knife

by **tomtom2357** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:36 am UTC

Bad news, they just found, and took, your throwing knife supply

by **bug sniper** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:37 am UTC

Good News: You have a magnetic shield that repels knives.

by **Oflick** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:37 am UTC

Bad news: It attracts Zombie Raptors and Dynamite.

by **thorgold** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:43 am UTC

Good news: The raptors are too decomposed to hunt and the dynamite is inert.

by **Oflick** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 3:40 am UTC

Bad news: They still fly at you with enough force to do significant damage (which they do)

by **madjo** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 1:25 pm UTC

good news, you're quite sturdy on your feet.

by **madjo** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:18 am UTC

bad news: I killed the thread.

by **Oflick** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:55 am UTC

Good news: The thread was a dick; everyone wanted it killed.

by **bug sniper** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:40 pm UTC

Bad News: Without this thread, we are going to be bored out of our minds.

by **madjo** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:59 pm UTC

good news: we have no minds anyway!

by **bug sniper** » Wed Jan 25, 2012 3:03 pm UTC

Bad News: Since we have no minds, the Occupy Wall Street protests turn into terrorist sprees.

by **Adam H** » Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:59 pm UTC

Good news: by eliminating much of the bottom 99% of the country, the top 1% becomes a much larger percentage!

(Damn, it's hard to make good news out of "terrorism sprees")

by **Oflick** » Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:39 am UTC

Bad news: A new great depression hits.

by **bug sniper** » Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:52 pm UTC

Good News: A miracle happens and suddenly, somehow, everyone has a job again.

by **Scyrus** » Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:29 pm UTC

Bad news: This miracle cost the jobs of other people in the world, and now they are declaring war.

by **Adam H** » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:49 pm UTC

Good news: We win the war!

by **Oflick** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 1:24 am UTC

Bad news: You only win by being the only person to survive the war. You spend the rest of your days wandering the destroyed earth as the only person still alive.

by **madjo** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:00 am UTC

Good news (or is it?): someone knocked on your door...

by **Tomlidich** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 5:50 pm UTC

bad news: it was another zombie raptor leftover. it bites your head off.

by **Oflick** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:02 pm UTC

Good news: It grows back with no negative consequences.

by **madjo** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:18 pm UTC

Bad news: you're still all alone.

by **Oflick** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:43 pm UTC

Good news: Nobody can interrupt you when you wank.

by **madjo** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:50 am UTC

Bad news, no porn.

by **Oflick** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:05 pm UTC

Good news: You have this amazing ability to produce images in your mind.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:19 pm UTC

Bad news: you can't turn this ability off.

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:49 pm UTC

Good news: You have two minds, one of which is permanently off.

by **Adam H** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:12 pm UTC

Bad News: The mind that's permanently off is your good one.

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:31 pm UTC

Good news: That mind wears a spiffy hat!

by **orangedragonfire** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:22 pm UTC

Bad news: There is no good news.

by **Tomlidich** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:59 pm UTC

good news: good is dumb, so it does not know this.

by **orangedragonfire** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:48 pm UTC

Bad news: That does not change the facts. Missing knowledge does not imply missing existence.

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:37 pm UTC

Good news: An awesome, if highly-improbable, sperm whale just appeared out of nowhere! Sweet!

by **RollingHead** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:24 am UTC

Bad news: it just fell on you

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:58 am UTC

Good news: The ground did want to be friends!

by **Oflick** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:26 am UTC

Bad news: Nobody wanted to be friends with the ground.

by **Tomlidich** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:24 pm UTC

good news: by being squished into the ground, you fell into some kind of underground retro disco club. from space. they serve pangalactic gargleblasters there too!

by **Oflick** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:25 pm UTC

Bad news: Disco.

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