1008: “Suckville”

[jesset]

Fuck y'all. Detroit has a world-class orchestra and art museum, a glut of breweries, is very bikeable (a group offers bike tours of the breweries!), great sports, a beautiful riverfront, incredible architecture, and awesome music venues. Yeah, it's a bit empty, but that just makes me feel all the safer.

Edit: Oh, and three casinos, if you're into that.

Thank God somebody recognizes that there's awesome stuff going on in Detroit. Pisses me off that people tear it apart without ever stepping foot in the city - or, if they do, cowering in their hotel room in fear of being raped/mugged/beaten/murdered/catching a disease from a homeless person/developing cancer from breathing the air...etc, etc. It's amazing the reasons people will invent as excuses to hate Detroit. I'm forced to live out of state for the next two years, but I can't wait to get back to D-town!

[greyvity]

If I may explain the joke to death for those who didn't get it:

A common taunt when someone is losing a game goes along the lines of "Welcome to Suckville! Population: You." The comic takes this joke, treats Suckville as an actual town, and postulates that it has experienced population growth since 2000, rendering the taunt effectively underwhelming.

I still don't get it, mainly because I don't get how this is possibly taunting in any way. Telling someone that they live in a ghost town doesn't sound so much taunting as plain old bizarre. A distraction, maybe? Rather than a taunt? Similar to "I need a pee/beer/new hat".

Recall that Simpsons episode way, way back when Homer said," Hey baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
Similar, I think. I think it's meant to be funny (or witty) more than mean for the sake of being mean.

[Webzter]

…is this some sort of knock on “Hell, MI”, which is not really a town?

It turns out that Hell, MI does exist. I've been there; it's about 90 minutes southwest of Detroit. It's basically just a huge sign saying "Welcome to Hell" and a hole-in-the-wall tavern. Pretty much what one might expect to find in Hell. Paradise, MI is much nicer.

But it's unincorporated which I guess could make it "not really a town". Still, it has a sign and you can get to it on Google Maps so that works for me. I once printed out directions from Minneapolis (where I was working) to Hell. I'd then occasionally pass them to people that really needed to be told off. Good times.

Oh, and if you're going to Paradise, you might as well drive a few (5ish) hours west and up into the Keewenaw and stop at Gay, MI. It is, after all, home to the world famous Gay Bar.

Hell does have ice cream, too! And Paradise is FREEZING. The last time I went there, they had 120 inches or so of snow.

I grew up, and went to college, in Marquette (about 3 hours west of Paradise). The only month I never saw it snow was August. Now, generally, the UP is fairly buffered from the cold wind coming down from Canada by the Lake. The air warms up over the water (picking up lots of moisture which gives us lake effect snow). In 1994, though, the Lake froze over completely and we got this terrific arctic front over the state. The temp dropped under 0F for a week straight with the low being something like -30F. The university cancelled classes if the wind chill hit -60F. We didn't have classes all week as the windchill usually hovered around -100F (old windchill scale, I know they've revised it)

[nothinglikeit22]

Detroit is great, a lot of the reasons given on here for thinking that nothing is there stem only from the poster's ignorance. using their reasoning I could also claim that there's not a whole lot to Boston, or Montreal, or any city I don't know anything about. just because I don't know what's there doesn't mean nothing is. Economic downturn or not, its still a city with a great culture.

[skis4hire]

If I may explain the joke to death for those who didn't get it:

A common taunt when someone is losing a game goes along the lines of "Welcome to Suckville! Population: You." The comic takes this joke, treats Suckville as an actual town, and postulates that it has experienced population growth since 2000, rendering the taunt effectively underwhelming.

I still don't get it, mainly because I don't get how this is possibly taunting in any way. Telling someone that they live in a ghost town doesn't sound so much taunting as plain old bizarre. A distraction, maybe? Rather than a taunt? Similar to "I need a pee/beer/new hat".

... the town is called suckville because you live there, and you suck. That you're the sole inhabitant implicates that either you are the only person who sucks enough to live in suckville, or that you suck so much you were given a special town to live in named after you. These analogies should be considered very abstract and not extrapolated any further, nor any practical implications considered. Further, you should consider verbal cues such as changes in intonation that would indicate the person is taunting you. You may notice a smirk, or realize that you are getting beaten quite badly when the comment is made.

The male character however replies as if the female is serious. By questioning her use of 2000 census data, he in a sense acknowledges that he lives in suckville given that he is familiar with changes in it's population over the last decade. This has the effect of dulling the insult by demonstrating that he is not ashamed or embarrassed by it. Also, it demonstrates a level of quick wittedness that challenges the female further dulling the insult. The female takes this in stride (by claming she is not familiar with 2010 figures), and the male then escalates referencing a specific table designation in the census. The female, ostensibly looking at the 2010 census data on her laptop, plays along with his escalation, despite the fact that suckville is not actually in the census tables, producing a specific updated population number, 83. This further dulls the insult, by conceding that he is not the only inhabitant of the fictional town. Also, in playing along with him so completely, she submits to his quick wittedness and concedes that he has completely deflected the insult.

[SecondTalon]

fun fact: the smallest user-id's that exist on that board are "2" and "3"...
...there is no userid "1" or userid "4"... the next one that exists is "5"...
...then i thought - maybe a prime-pun... shortly after that thought i recognized userid "6" exists...

back to the reason i registered...: maybe userid "2" (davean) or userid "3" (xkcd - randall i guess)
can bring some light into the (dark|shadow|motionblur)

1 was administrator, the default phpbb user that was deleted.

I have no idea who 4 was.

To answer your question - davean admins the forum and rarely reads anything here, and xkcd hasn't logged on in over a year.

[SirMustapha]

xkcd-spider.png

It is indeed some sort of motion blur, in fact, it's two movements combined. See the attachment for an explanation.

Holy shit. "Motion blur"? Christ, if that's indeed what Randall intended, then I have seriously underestimated his capacity of being a terrible artist.

[imshadow22]

Poor Detroit. Always getting a bad reputation, despite having, umm...

I flew through Detroit a while back and the airport was pretty cool. That bright red people-mover made me feel like I was living in the future. Downtown is not so nice, though.

Just and FYI, Detroit Metro Airport is actually in Romulus.

[imshadow22]

Detroit is great, a lot of the reasons given on here for thinking that nothing is there stem only from the poster's ignorance. using their reasoning I could also claim that there's not a whole lot to Boston, or Montreal, or any city I don't know anything about. just because I don't know what's there doesn't mean nothing is. Economic downturn or not, its still a city with a great culture.

I don't think that great would be a word I would ever use to describe the city of Detroit. There are some nice areas, New Center, Fox/stadiums, Greektown, and some areas of the river. Outside of that, it is pretty much a dump. I would describe it as pockets of niceness in a depleted town.

I will say, they have some of the best art deco buildings anywhere I have seen.

[RogueCynic]

Fuck y'all. Detroit has a world-class orchestra and art museum, a glut of breweries, is very bikeable (a group offers bike tours of the breweries!), great sports, a beautiful riverfront, incredible architecture, and awesome music venues. Yeah, it's a bit empty, but that just makes me feel all the safer.

Edit: Oh, and three casinos, if you're into that.

World class orchestra? Did you have an Oscar winner like John Williams conducting it? As for art museums, the Elizabeth Stuart Gardner Museum in Boston is nice. We have the Sam Adams Brewery in JP, but our lives are not so desolate that we need a "glut" of them. We do have bike paths and the mayor is trying to bring a bike sharing group to the city, but we are being apathetic to end that nonsense. Riverfront? Some parts of the Charles River are nice, and Jamaica Pond is idyll. There are some nice houses by the Jamaica pond, and another street I can't recall the name of in my present neighborhood. Music venues, I saw The Kinks at the Boston Garden, Blue Oyster Cult at the Middle East, and Black Sabbath at the Wilbur theaters. I will concede Michigan has better waterfront property,. After all, the best part of Michigan is under water.

[Rai]

Looks like Hanafuda actually... 8 piles, deck, and there's a couple of cards in front of the girl that would be the ones she took.
Hanafuda cards are really thick.

[dp2]

Fuck y'all. Detroit has a world-class orchestra and art museum, a glut of breweries, is very bikeable (a group offers bike tours of the breweries!), great sports, a beautiful riverfront, incredible architecture, and awesome music venues. Yeah, it's a bit empty, but that just makes me feel all the safer.

Edit: Oh, and three casinos, if you're into that.

World class orchestra? Did you have an Oscar winner like John Williams conducting it? As for art museums, the Elizabeth Stuart Gardner Museum in Boston is nice. We have the Sam Adams Brewery in JP, but our lives are not so desolate that we need a "glut" of them. We do have bike paths and the mayor is trying to bring a bike sharing group to the city, but we are being apathetic to end that nonsense. Riverfront? Some parts of the Charles River are nice, and Jamaica Pond is idyll. There are some nice houses by the Jamaica pond, and another street I can't recall the name of in my present neighborhood. Music venues, I saw The Kinks at the Boston Garden, Blue Oyster Cult at the Middle East, and Black Sabbath at the Wilbur theaters. I will concede Michigan has better waterfront property,. After all, the best part of Michigan is under water.

Wow, here I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive, and here you are defending a town no one has said a word about in this thread.

Edit: oh, beg pardon. Someone did pull Boston into it up there. Wasn't me, though. Why not defend Boston on its own merit instead of trying to argue that it's better than Detroit (there's a city motto for you).

[glibdud]

Pretty much what one might expect to find in Hell. Paradise, MI is much nicer.

A friend once had dinner in Intercourse, PA. He mentioned this to his father, who said, "Now you need to find a town called Dinner..."

But what's Intercourse without Climax (, MI)?

[Chezzik]

Oh my god I totally didn't even notice the legs at first.

+1

There is no way this game is anything but Speed... the 4 piles of cards, the hands, the drawing decks... Additionally, speed is a game where there is a lot of smack talking because games go quickly and involve lots of nimble fingers.

There are 8 piles of cards. Unless you play speed very differently to me...

Regarding the suggestions so far:
You're right that it can't be Speed, because it is 8 piles instead of 4.

It can't be innovation, because otherwise you would see 1-5 piles of melds in front of all players, and you would see a player mat for each player.

It doesn't look like Mao, but to be honest, Mao is very poorly defined.

It's not Dominion, because there are not nearly enough kingdom piles.

Other options
The first thing I thought of was Golf. Usually, in Golf, both players each have a tableau of 8 cards, but not always. I've played Golf before where one player plays a round while the other watches, and then the other responds, like innings in a baseball game. So, that could be it.

I did think of Lost Cities, but that usually has 5 pairs of piles instead of 4, and there's usually cards in the center to be claimed.

In the end, I think I have to go with Battle Line, or some other Kinizia-designed variant. Sure, it's usually 7 pairs of piles, but it can be just 4 pairs, as shown in the picture I have linked. Trash talking is definitely common in this game, so it really seems like the best fit.

[shiznits]

YU-GI-OH!

[p96]

No, it’s on the border of Detroit. Poseurs from that area like to say they’re from Detroit when visiting other cities.

[kjsharke]

Economic downturn or not, its still a city with a great culture.

I'll try to explain in terms of Knoxville bars, but I hope this makes sense in general:

My favorite bar here is Union Jack's. When you sit at the bar, you would never think "this is comfortable" but it just seems to fit, I can't imagine anyone has ever thought that they were uncomfortable either. Their food will never win any foodie awards, but it is always seems to be just what you want at the time. They don't make any special drinks, but they have quite a few beer options, and you just feel relaxed. I can't pinpoint anything special about the crowd, but even if you have never met them, they feel like friends from way back.

I enjoy the Public House. They have really amazing drinks, it looks very interesting, there's art, it is in the cool part of town next to a bike shop. The food there would probably win awards. But it is expensive, and never filling enough, and they don't seem to have what I want right now. The crowd, after a certain time, tends to be 30-somethings that think they are 20-somethings, with guys that wear hemp anklets, and the benches look cool, but are really uncomfortable to sit at. It is nice sometimes, but it would never be "the hangout".

For some people, Detroit just feels like the former. The culture there is interesting and down to earth. The architecture is beautiful. There is crime of course, but I've never felt as unsafe there as say... parts of Chicago. You may not like my bar, you may not like my town -- that's fine, people have different tastes. But Detroit is always talked about like the asshole of the US, mostly by people who have at most driven through Detroit, or read something about it online. Detroit is much more than a statistic though, and there is a lot to love. People will always make jokes about it, fine. And I'm not telling anyone to move there, but you are talking about someone's home, I hope you can have it in you to have an open mind.

[addams]

Yeah, what the heck is going on with the number of limbs in panel 3?

It's motion blur!

Yeah. I am with you. This is an indication of motion. This girl is busy losing.
Been there. Done that.
I am a pretty good loser. I am not very good at games.
***
How sweet. Someone loves Detroit, because, it is home. Lucky you.

"For some people, Detroit just feels like the former. The culture there is interesting and down to earth. The architecture is beautiful. There is crime of course, but I've never felt as unsafe there as say... parts of Chicago. You may not like my bar, you may not like my town -- that's fine, people have different tastes. But Detroit is always talked about like the asshole of the US, mostly by people who have at most driven through Detroit, or read something about it online. Detroit is much more than a statistic though, and there is a lot to love. People will always make jokes about it, fine. And I'm not telling anyone to move there, but you are talking about someone's home, I hope you can have it in you to have an open mind."
The weather? Doesn't Detroit have, like, weather?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detroit
0 °F (−17.8 °C) around six times per year, while summers are warm to hot with temperatures exceeding 90 °F (32.2 °C) on 15 days.[33] Snowfall, which typically peaks from December through February, averages 43.3 inches (110 cm) per season.

My God! That sounds like Siberia!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siberia
With a lowest record temperature of −71.2 °C (−96.2 °F), Oymyakon (Sakha Republic) has the distinction of being the coldest town on Earth. But summer temperatures in other regions reach 38 °C (100 °F).

O.K. Detroit wins. The weather is nicer in Detroit.

But. But. Detroit was famous for having crap weather.
Of course, Siberia is famous for foul weather, also.

They say that the summers are nice. 38 degrees does not sound nice to me. Not on any scale that I know of. Oh! I am getting cold, just, thinking about it. Ahhh!

[kjsharke]

How sweet. Someone loves Detroit, because, it is home. Lucky you.
...
But. But. Detroit was famous for having crap weather.

Notice that I mentioned that I currently live in Knoxville. Detroit is not my home, though I have a lot of friends there.

But thank you for making my point in two ways: I love the weather, except that I would prefer the winter to be colder and have more snow. If you prefer LA's climate (for instance), I'm happy for you. I would hate it.

More importantly, you seem to want to put me down for liking a place that (as far as I can tell) you have never visited. Why would you feel the need to do that? Especially if that place on hard times already. Whether you are purposely trolling or not, that isn't something I can respect.

edit: Also, it would appear that the girl is winning

[bmonk]

If I may explain the joke to death for those who didn't get it:

A common taunt when someone is losing a game goes along the lines of "Welcome to Suckville! Population: You." The comic takes this joke, treats Suckville as an actual town, and postulates that it has experienced population growth since 2000, rendering the taunt effectively underwhelming.

No explanation for spider-woman.

Furthermore, this is a very good nerd argument--taking what the other person said, and applying "logic" and obscure data to one-up them. In an obscure way that only counts with nerds. Nobody else cares.

[addams]

Pretty much what one might expect to find in Hell. Paradise, MI is much nicer.

A friend once had dinner in Intercourse, PA. He mentioned this to his father, who said, "Now you need to find a town called Dinner..."

Gee Willikers. That is so funny. Thank you.

I'm in downtown Detroit as I type this.

It's lonely.

I am so sorry. It is awful to be lonely. I also am lonely, so, I understand.
I would pop right over with something warm to eat. But, Honey; Geography is an easy subject in school. It a difficult subject for adults.

My had a friend one time. Distances on this planet can be daunting. Then; there is all that political stuff.
I am sorry that you are lonely in Detroit.
Maybe, you and that fan of the city can do an xkcd meat up inside your city.
Bundle up. Wiki says that it is cold outside.
Nope. Seems that the fan of Detroit is in Knoxville. Pfft. Near to perfect weather. And; really good food.

I have been to Detroit. But; It was a quick trip. I know nothing about what living there might be like. It is like everywhere else. "The difference between Heaven and Hell is the company you keep."

[kjsharke]

Seems that the fan of Detroit is in Knoxville. Pfft. Near to perfect weather. And; really good food.

I have been to Detroit. But; It was a quick trip. I know nothing about what living there might be like. It is like everywhere else. "The difference between Heaven and Hell is the company you keep."

That is certainly true.

Honestly, a big part of why I am touchy about this subject is that I am looking to move to Colorado (for work). It's a wonderful state, but (some) people there are very quick to put down every place that isn't Colorado. As someone who has traveled a lot, and lived in a number of places, that really gets on my nerves.

Regarding Knoxville weather: I'm obviously a fan of Winter. Knoxville is usually nice because I can head up into the mountains to get a taste of it. Not this year

[dp2]

Maybe, you and that fan of the city can do an xkcd meat up inside your city.

Thanks for reminding me. Coney dogs!

[snoopy369]

looked at the US 2010 Census, at SF1 Table P1.

The only instance of Population 83 corresponds to "Black or African American; Asian; Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander" living in Alabama.

Looking at Population 82, since guy-game-player now makes it 83, this corresponds to "American Indian and Alaska Native; Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander" living in Alabama.

I'm guessing this comes from the part of the Census that asks about your family racial heritage.

I'd suggest you're doing something wrong, then. I work with this data as part of my job (so GOOMH Randall, I guess?) and so am fairly familiar with SF-1 P1 is simply total population at any geography/etc.

Looking through SF-1 P1, of which there are probably two dozen cities/similar (census isn't terribly good at identifying smaller towns ans such, sometimes it will sometimes it won't properly do so) with 82 or 83 population, there is one that stands out:
Detroit village, IL population 83
I'm going to go ahead and designate that as Suckville given the Detroit references. I don't have a handy dataset with both city and MSA (or CSA) so I can't say whether Detroit Village is in the Detroit MSA, and given it's on I-72 about 45 miles east of the Missouri border I doubt it, but who knows.

-Joe

[realdetroit]

Fuck you for the cheap shot.

[rsawyer44]

Ok, I live in the Metro Detroit area and I love the city (my dad grew up downtown). They have awesome museums, obviously great sports, fun and quirky restaurants as well as more upscale ones (didja know there's a crepe place?), you can see an amazing opera or orchestra performance, as well as concerts at places like St. Andrews hall. We have lots of music festivals, including Down Town Hoedown. You can visit Campus Maritus in the winter and go ice skating, take a bike tour around Belle Isle, or get some of the best Mexican food ever in Mexican town. Heck, it's even the location of a major university, Wayne State. Walking around by Woodward or down on the river walk is awesome.

People who hate on Detroit have either never been there or are fun-haters. It's a gem that just needs better leadership and more people who actually bother to go and see for themselves what it's like. I'm kind of bummed that xkcd is part of the "let's hate on Detroit" bandwagon. That kind of thing isn't helpful for any city that struggles financially.

(And yes, Hell is a real place in Michigan, although I'd disagree with the person who said Paradise was any better)

[carega]

Welcome to Suckville, population: Randall.

This is really lame, it's getting worse every week.

[ned4spd8874]

Hey, why hate on Detroit?!?! I've lived in this area pretty much my entire life and we know that Detroit could be better. But it could also be worse. Besides, there's a lot of good going on around here. Just another case of the D getting a bad rap.

[SomeFloridaKid]

Quite the odd number of legs in the third frame. :p

[keithl]

SirMustapha wrote:
Holy shit. "Motion blur"? Christ, if that's indeed what Randall intended, then I have seriously underestimated his capacity of being a terrible artist.

Randall is not an artist at all. These are his photographs of an alternate universe inhabited by beings who look like stick figures. They communicate by emitting clouds of black letters into the air through thin black straws. The third panel is a double exposure.

What else would you expect from a trained physicist and former NASA researcher?

[Kit.]

These are his photographs of an alternate universe inhabited by beings who look like stick figures.

So, that's why they are sloppier than fiction

[huangho]

…is this some sort of knock on “Hell, MI”, which is not really a town?

I don't know about Hell, MI, but Hell, Norway surely exists:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway

[ned4spd8874]

…is this some sort of knock on “Hell, MI”, which is not really a town?

I don't know about Hell, MI, but Hell, Norway surely exists:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway

And Hell, MI does exist as well. I used to work with a guy who lives there. It's a very small town, but it's real.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?q=hell+michigan&hl=en&ftid=0x882334578757ad71:0xd45079770956618a

[boradis]

The alt text neatly summarizes why I never want to move back to my hometown of Detroit.

Yes fellow Detroiters, there are good things to say about the city and the SE Michigan area. But IMO they are outweighed by the bad.

[Hamsvlekiss]

I seriously can't believe we had to go into explaining a childish taunt. Wtf, xkcd forums?

[muntoo]

YU-GI-OH!

It is definitely not Yu-Gi-Oh!

• There are piles of cards where the monsters would be. That makes no sense.
• 4 monsters on each side, with only one spell on the field? Extremely doubtable, unless these guys were severe amatuers.
• Decks are nowhere in sight. (Unless you count the "monsters".)

Source: Played/Collected Yu-Gi-Oh! for over half a decade. (I had like 180 cards, a third of which were stolen.)

[Tigerrrrr]

As for art museums, the Elizabeth Stuart Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston is nice.

ftfy. (Sorry, went to college in the building next door to the Gardner.)
And yes, Boston is a pretty okay place once you discount the drivers, the stores that close obnoxiously early, and the winter slush crap. And the T, although it's better than it was ten years ago.

I'm not buying the motion blur, but I'm not really looking for an explanation, either. It looks weird, and that is all for me.

[A_of_s_t]

I don't... Was there even a joke in the comic? Did Randall run out of time drawing the comic and just decided to leave an extra set of limbs on the girl? Was the punchline supposed to be the Detroit line?

I'm so confused.

[WolfieMario]

The girl in panel 3 has an unsettlingly large number of limbs. Does this game temporarily turn players into spiders?

Oh god, thank you for pointing that out
I now had an excuse to finally do something surreal after over a semester.

[A_of_s_t]

The girl in panel 3 has an unsettlingly large number of limbs. Does this game temporarily turn players into spiders?

Oh god, thank you for pointing that out
I now had an excuse to finally do something surreal after over a semester.

It's sad that this comic is not only funny, but makes much more sense then the horrible comic Randall gave us.