xkcd

by **cemper93** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:09 pm UTC

> Conjure up a dam to protect the Wizerd's tower from the tidal waves, in order to help him destroying everything because I am purely evil.

Hoping my result will be pretty bad...

by **Randomizer** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:08 pm UTC

Will the chocolate shield protect what's inside from the nuclear bomb? Will the bomb destroy the whole world, or only parts of it? I'm guessing since the factory is invincible, hiding in there will be safe, so the only thing to worry about is radiation, really.

> Magically alter the bomb's effects so that instead of radioactive nuclear fallout, it spews sweetened cocoa powder when it explodes, but not decreasing the bomb's explosiveness.

(Pretty sure attempts at self-preservation are acceptable when trying to destroy the world...)

Oh, and "Bonuses go to the wizerd if more than 10m away" from me, so if someone tries to throw the wizerd into the moon/a volcano/etc. my armor should protect him. I don't see that listed.

by **cjquines** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:17 am UTC

>Attempt to join the wizerd's forces.

Why do I still have a -3 to next turn in the tables??

by **thorgold** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:11 am UTC

>Light the Beacons, send word to the elves. They must reforge the mystic wizerd sword of my fathers. Ere dawn, I ride for the wizerd's lair.

>put the nuke inside the chocolatey shield in order to contain the explosion within the force field.

by **blademan9999** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 9:29 am UTC

KOKOJO!!!!!
I HAD CHANGED MY ROLL ON THAT VERY POST!
Since you didn't do what I said, That doesn't count as using my Hoagie.

>Throw the wizerd at mars at such high relativistic speeds that he loses his armor/armour bonuses. Insta 6. (OH YEAH!)

by **Ormpskel** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 9:31 am UTC

Diablo II eh? Just the excuse I needed!

>Equip Shadowfang and use it to access the hidden cow level
(http://www.diablo2guide.com/database/unique-items/shadowfang-id661.php)

by **Evengeduld** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:24 pm UTC

> Makes a moat using explosives to protect the Nuke...

by **Nautilus** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:25 pm UTC

> Say to the Wizerd, "Hey, you've got something on your robe", point to his chest, and when he looks down, flick his nose with my index finger, in order to communicate extreme disapproval.

by **cemper93** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:42 pm UTC

I just realized what I have written above doesn't make any sense, because I want more maluses, not more bonuses (for pure evilness).

> Despise myself.

by **Sytri** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 1:10 pm UTC

>Sends the wizerd a hamper of highly fattening and delicious food.

Need to fatten him up if I'm going to kill him with my sword.

Edit: Also, might make the wizerd like me so I can get close........

by **Phrozt** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:38 pm UTC

> Try to cause an avalanche over the wizerd tower/town.

by **thorgold** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:26 am UTC

Any prediction on next roll, kokojo? I know it's midterms week for some of us, but a general estimate would be cool.

by **Kokojo** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:30 am UTC

Tomorrow, if possible in about 12 hours, or some hours later, depends on what I do with my dinner hour.

It's not midterm for me, but I have a actually less believable excuse than usual. I was rolling yesterday, near 1am, and about half done, when suddently the wind blowed very hard. I checked outside and I saw gigantic heaps of snow being moved from the ground - Then I remembered, there was a glaze storm comming our way! I turned away from my window only to see a blue flash fill the room : a electricity thingamajigs (energy transformers, if literraly translated from French) had just exploded. I knew that if one exploded, others would follow, so I rushed to the computer, copied, opened word and BAM! Blue light again, no more visible screen, no more light, and just the eery sound of wind blowing too hard. As if that was not enought, snow from the roof fallen, and, pushed by the wind, collided on my window in a BANG that gave me the willies.

by **Kokojo** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:06 am UTC

Rolling...

by **Kokojo** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:58 am UTC

BucklesMcStrap wrote:>Flings spirit-snot-bombs full of undeserved love that puncture through the barrier between the spirit world and the real world at the Wizerd.

Your roll :3

You launch an army of snot at the wizerd, however, they get stuck in the trans-dimensportal and they block your way to it. (-1 to next revival roll)

curtis95112 wrote:>Tell the army they're going the wrong way

Your roll : 3(+1)

You do just that.The army turns around and goes to fight the wizerd! NPC

mike-l wrote:> Hug the wizerd

Your roll : 5

You hug the wizerd, and get to bask in his awesomeness. You get some yourself (+1 to next awesome action)

orangedragonfire wrote:> Become the general of the army.

Your roll : 6

You become the general of the army, but the army is lead by a king! Since you're a nice general, the king ask you to marry his daughter, and you have to since you're loyal to the king, so you marry her but you've got to take care of her (Marriage duty, wink wink) and make her love you since otherwise, the king could be sad and that's not your duty! Skip next turn(unless you beg properly), General.

Queen Arasene wrote:>Insult everyone via a megaphone (Ultimate swear). Take the minuses guys!

Your roll : 4 (-1)

You use the ultimate swear on everyone and they are pretty damn sad, however, it hits your battleaxe too and it wants to suicide, and it tries to do so, but it's attached to you. Everyone (after this) -1 to next roll until end of round

Queen Arasene must roll to dodge!
Your roll : 2

You get seriously wounded. Yes, srsly. (Wounded for 3 turns)

WarDaft wrote:> Order my hamster magus to cast the spell Thamaz-Agah on myself.

Spell should last forever
Your roll : 1 (-1)

You stare blanky at the universe. You do absolutely nothing. You don't even breathe.
Wardraft must roll to dodge!
Your roll : 1 (-1) Oh lawl.

You simply stop existing.
Wardraft is DEAD!

Meem1029 wrote:>Shoots the anti-wizerd army with his weapon in order to continue allying with the wizerd.

Your roll : 4(-1)

You shoot the army, and it hits, but it also half-backfires on their mirror-shields! The wizerd is proud and hugs you lightly.
Meem must roll to dodge!
Your roll : 5 (-1)

You evade the beam.

The army must roll to dodge!
Their roll: 4 (-1)

The army gets distracted! (-1 to next roll)

Randomizer wrote:> Magically alter the bomb's effects so that instead of radioactive nuclear fallout, it spews sweetened cocoa powder when it explodes, but not decreasing the bomb's explosiveness.

You'll see for the bomb. Plus the +10 thing has been removed when you signed the contract.
Your roll : 35(-1)

You try to alter the bomb, and you do, but you get too close and personal. If it blows, it's taking you WITH IT. (Chocolaty nuke, Dies if nukes explodes, bypassing your armor and RTD)

cjquines wrote:>Attempt to join the wizerd's forces.

Fixed the -3.
Your roll : 1 (-1)
You stop thinking, and your heart forgets to pump blood.

Cjquine must roll to dodge!
Your roll : 3 (-1)

You recover just in time, but you're seriously wounded. (Wounded for 3 turns)

thorgold wrote:>Light the Beacons, send word to the elves. They must reforge the mystic wizerd sword of my fathers. Ere dawn, I ride for the wizerd's lair.
>put the nuke inside the chocolatey shield in order to contain the explosion within the force field.

Your rolls : 5,5 (-1),(-1)

The elves army joins the anti-wizerd army. (+2 hp!)

You sucesfully deplace the nuke inside the shield (Nuke in shield)

blademan9999 wrote:>Throw the wizerd at mars at such high relativistic speeds that he loses his armor/armour bonuses. Insta 6. (OH YEAH!)

One action by post, it's specified. I should't have so much to do, FFS. You're not getting a insta 6, but if you're not please with the result, you can at least cancel this roll. And that's because I am feeling gentle
Your roll : 3 (-1)

You stare blankly at your hose....err, nose.

Ormpskel wrote:>Equip Shadowfang and use it to access the hidden cow level

Your roll : 5 (-1)

You enter the secret cow level. (NPC)

Evengeduld wrote:> Makes a moat using explosives to protect the Nuke...

Your roll : 6 (+1)(-1)

You make a moat of explosives... LITTERALY! It's just fucking kablow-y material. (Trying to acess nuke now causes a Rtd

Nautilus wrote:> Say to the Wizerd, "Hey, you've got something on your robe", point to his chest, and when he looks down, flick his nose with my index finger, in order to communicate extreme disapproval.

Your roll : 6 (-1)

You comment your extreme disaprouval, and you get a magic booger from it (Magic booger, ???, good for you)

Sytri wrote:>Sends the wizerd a hamper of highly fattening and delicious food.

Your roll : 5(-1)

You send them to the wizerd, and he eats up! (fat wizerd)

Phrozt wrote:> Try to cause an avalanche over the wizerd tower/town.

Your roll : 3 (-1)

Nothing happens.

cemper93 wrote:> Despise myself.

Your roll : 3 (+1) (-1)

You hate yourself so much, you cut yourself! (-1 to next roll)

THE WIZERD IS ACTIVE!:
> Use the C''hocolateslave'' spell on Nautilus.
His roll : 99 (-1) (-5) Woa. Sorry dude.

Well there is nothing to say.
Nautilus must roll to dodge...twice!
Your roll : 5(-1) , 1(-1)

Nautilus dodges the first spell, but receives the second one so well, he turns into a mindless puppet. (Slave to wizerd's will)

TROGDOR IS ACTIVE!:
> Beep. I just dunno at this point...been what? 1 hour of rolling? Fuck it. Just fuck it.

CHOCOLATE SHIELD IS ACTIVE!
>Panic about the bomb and eject it.
It's roll : 1 (-1)

The shield collapse for a moment, in panic. (-2 hp)

An army is seen running with anti-wizerd weapons, but they are going in right direction.

NPCS:

Spoiler:

Events :

Spoiler:

Players table :

Spoiler:

by **mike-l** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:56 am UTC

> Play the Axis Of Awesome 4 Chord Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I) for the Army to impress them and make me their leader.

by **orangedragonfire** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:18 am UTC

> Skip this turn, due to certain duties.

Do I really have to roll in order to do that?

by **curtis95112** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:37 am UTC

>Spray the wizerd with a Coca-Cola+Mentos cannon.

by **thorgold** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:09 am UTC

I'm alive? Sweet!

> Throw orangedragonfire at the wizerd as Hard as I can.

by **curtis95112** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:40 am UTC

Ooh does sentient chocolate and coke react by any chance? It should facilitate bubbling at least if orangedragonfire isn't perfectly smooth.

by **Randomizer** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:03 am UTC

> Help the chocolate shield eject the bomb far, far away (preferably landing in a highly populated area, if possible) so that I won't be in its blast range.

by **WarDaft** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:16 am UTC

Kokojo wrote:You simply stop existing.
Wardraft is DEAD!

Boy, I really wouldn't want to be that wardraft guy.

What, it works for the wizerd.

by **Evengeduld** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:24 am UTC

> Shoots EMP to take out the shield that is protecting the Nuke

2 on the nuke countdown right?

by **Sytri** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:41 am UTC

>Attempts to decapitate the newly fat wizerd with his fat guy sword!

by **Queen Arasene** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:53 am UTC

>Heal all wounded people with HPs drawn from the wizerd.

by **Kokojo** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:15 pm UTC

WarDaft wrote:
Kokojo wrote:You simply stop existing.
Wardraft is DEAD!

Boy, I really wouldn't want to be that wardraft guy.

What, it works for the wizerd.

touché.You're alive.
(I hate you)

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:45 pm UTC

(KOKOJO! First you make me do an action when I had already changed it on that very post, and you make it use up my Hoagie, and you don't even have the decency to let me re-use my hoagie.)
>Show my rage by throwing Kokojo at the Wizerd.

by **Meem1029** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:22 pm UTC

blademan9999 wrote:(KOKOJO! First you make me do an action when I had already changed it on that very post, and you make it use up my Hoagie, and you don't even have the decency to let me re-use my hoagie.)
>Show my rage by throwing Kokojo at the Wizerd.

He's right. He had changed his move shortly after in a new post and you didn't take his second move. You did say that you take the latest action submitted.

Kokojo wrote:Because of this, you may only submit one action per roll. I will take the latest action you submit, and if you accidentally make two actions at once, I will take only the second one.

>Shoots the nuclear weapon with his epic weapon of world destroying awesomeness.

by **BucklesMcStrap** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:17 pm UTC

>Command the anti-chocolate demons to use their demonic powers to burst through the snot-ball wall of undeserved love and attack the Wizerd!!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!! :twisted:

My plan will succeed eventually....

by **WarDaft** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:20 am UTC

Kokojo wrote:touché.You're alive.

Yay!

(I hate you)

Drat.

It's just been a sort of pet peeve of mine almost as long as I've had this moniker (over a decade now) that so many people, especially when saying it, stick that r in right there. I promise I'll do all sorts of fun and insane things to make up for not being dead. But first things first..

Okay, since it would seem that even the most simple of actions can be instantly fatal, forget this being cautious nonsense.

> Conjuring up dark and terrible forces, I preform the mighty ritual Thamaz-Agah to grant me great power, so that all might fear the mere mention of my name!

(that's one action, I'm just casting with style)

by **Ormpskel** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:50 am UTC

> gain control of all living things in the secret cow level

by **Nautilus** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:40 pm UTC

Not like the Wizerd? But... but that's my entire strategy...
Fine.

> Bathe in Wizerd's magical nose-slobber (boogers) in order to cleanse myself of his magic

[Also: WHY DO I STILL HAVE THE -1]

by **cemper93** » Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:38 pm UTC

Man, can't Crowley finally leave me alone?

> Conjure up an army of random undead to scrape Crowley off my back.

by **cjquines** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 6:58 am UTC

>Hypnotize the Wizerd with mah BIG, ALLURING, hips.

by **Phrozt** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:57 pm UTC

> Summon a wizerd slaying wizard.

by **Kokojo** » Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:45 am UTC

Rolling tomorrow, if Thorgold can't do it (I would appreciate)

by **Kokojo** » Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:44 am UTC

I have nothing to say but I am off until tomorrow <<

(Hate me as you want...Im sorry)

by **eculc** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:38 am UTC

>become a wizerd.

by **blademan9999** » Fri Jan 27, 2012 1:28 pm UTC

(Hey Kokojo, I'm GMing a game of roll to dodge on another forum, any tips?)
http://www.narutoforums.com/showthread.php?t=790918

by **Kokojo** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:27 am UTC

Rolling tomorrow, pinkie promise

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