xkcd

by **kubuzetto** » Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:14 pm UTC

defending with acetone

attacking with ACME weapons

by **Sean Quixote** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 12:34 am UTC

Defending with the Roadrunner.

Attacking with Wile E Coyote.

by **Kromix** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 5:50 pm UTC

defending with black hole on the ground followed by an anvil and a bucket-full of dynamite

attack with an emokid

by **AntonGarou** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:10 pm UTC

I defend with comedy films

I attack with a 500KG rubber mallet

by **Kromix** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:47 pm UTC

i defend with a 500KG rubber shield

i attack by nicely giving you cookies... laced with neodymium micro magnets mwahahahaah!

by **Sean Quixote** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:04 pm UTC

I induce vomiting and then lace the neodymium magnets with LSD.

by **bug sniper** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 6:48 pm UTC

I don't eat them because they smell like vomit.

I attack NP with thrown tomatoes.

by **shirosuzume** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:54 am UTC

Ducks behind the curtain on the stage, causing the tomatoes to *splat* against the scenery.

Then rolls the Trojan horse off the stage into the first row at the NP.

by **bug sniper** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:47 pm UTC

I defend using the only ejection seat.

I attack the next poster by sticking my tongue out at him as he gets crushed underneath the Trojan Horse while sitting next to me.

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:39 am UTC

I defend by pre-flattening myself before going to the show.

I attack the next poster by rolling myself into a paper-like tube and attemping to run them down.

by **AntonGarou** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:52 pm UTC

I defend by cutting you into 2 with a katana so you roll to both sides of me.

I tell a horde of teenage Twilight fans NP thinks Edward of the Twilight series is too ugly to look at

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:58 pm UTC

I defend by informing said horde that Edward of the Twilight series is down the street signing autographs.

I attack by breaking the LHC and causing it to magically cause a singularity under the NP's feet.

by **Magnap** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:32 pm UTC

Defend: The LHC didn't create any singularities, so no worries there.

Attack: I place NP inside the LHC and fire it (the LCH, red. (red. meaning redaktion, which is Danish for something like editor (BTW, sorry for all the parentheses (it all started when i tried programming in Lisp (i gave up due to delivery issues though))))) up.

by **orangedragonfire** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:34 pm UTC

I gain sudden and clear understanding of a Unified Theory of Everything, and use my newfound knowledge to save stop the singularity with only a ballpen, a small chicken, and a two-hour session of Minecraft.

I attack the next player by mentioning The Game.

by **Tomlidich** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:53 pm UTC

i defend with a rick roll. to the face.

i attack with my giant orange cone.

by **Chewbaccawacca** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:14 am UTC

I defend by acing drivers ed.

I attack the next poster with... *dramatic pause* ...a squirtgun.

by **Tomlidich** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:25 pm UTC

i defend with my cone. (again. man this thing comes in handy)

i attack with my stunning good looks while wearing a cone.

by **Sean Quixote** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:57 am UTC

I defend with a mirror.

I attack with Medusa.

by **Evengeduld** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:27 am UTC

I defend by closing my eyes.

I attack wit spelling erors...

by **AntonGarou** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 5:43 am UTC

I defend with dyslexia

I attack with subway tokens

by **Kromix** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:40 pm UTC

i defend with subway all day pass!!!

i attack with a 4chan gore thread O.o

by **Evengeduld** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:40 am UTC

I defend with:
Your organization's Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time.
Reason:
The Websense category "Adult Content" is filtered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
URL: http://www.4chan.org/

I attack with empty water bottle

by **Kromix** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:58 pm UTC

i defend with peeing in it!

i attack by nonchalantly giving NP's a water bottle...

by **shirosuzume** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:49 am UTC

I'm horribly uncoordinated and drop the water bottle, defending myself without even realizing it.

I lasso the NP with a feather boa.

by **SmoothBlade** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:56 pm UTC

I defend with my falchion

I attack by turning into a tiger and mauling NP

by **Kethryes** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:16 pm UTC

I defend by invoking a tiger tamer

HULK attacking NP with a word filter

by **Paroxysm³** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:18 pm UTC

I defend by running away as taught in the way of the nerd

I indirectly attack NP by running faster than him

by **Badion** » Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:26 pm UTC

defend using java script

Attack NP with a plethora of boring youtube videos

by **Kromix** » Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:31 pm UTC

i defend my adblocking youtube itself

i attack NP with a rusty nail

by **orangedragonfire** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:14 am UTC

I defend by reversing entropy to get rid of the rust.

I attack with a "yo papa" joke.

by **JesseScottOwen** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:41 pm UTC

I defend by replying that my Papa is dead.

I attack with a flood of my tears.

by **matt96** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:05 pm UTC

I defend by floating over the flood of tears in a zeppelin.

I attack by dropping heavy objects out of my zeppelin.

by **shirosuzume** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:27 pm UTC

I defend by shooting them from the ground, Space Invaders style.

I attack by commanding my pug to bite the NP's ankles.

by **Kromix** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:20 pm UTC

i defend by setting it on fire...

i attack with a red rocket

by **Badion** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:15 pm UTC

I defend with a hot carl...go look it up

I attack NP with their own parents having sex

by **Kromix** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:32 pm UTC

i defend by pulling eyes out of socket with a rusty spoon

i attack NP with a Cleveland steamer

by **Badion** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:02 pm UTC

I defend with cellophane but in my heart I know it is futile.

I attack NP with a 3 hour lecture by paris hilton. The subject is how purses differ when wearing heels. She also sings twice.

by **LOLBeth** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:01 am UTC

I send Paris Hilton into fiery implosion with a clashing shade of lipstick.

I scatter sparkly caltrops in the path of the NP.

by **bug sniper** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:09 am UTC

I defend by riding a pegasus rather than a horse.

I push the next poster off the edge of the world that I have proven to be flat.

by **Badion** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 3:38 pm UTC

defend with grappling hook and batman like style

I take next poster to 1300 and leave them there.

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