Rude Math Jokes?

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Rude Math Jokes?

Postby webgiant » Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:31 am UTC

I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joke-teller with their dissertation.
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby skeptical scientist » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:04 am UTC

I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby fishfry » Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:03 pm UTC

webgiant wrote:I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joke-teller with their dissertation.


There was a 17th century French cleric who tried to reform the prostitutes of Paris by teaching them analytic geometry.

He was the first man to put Descartes before the whores.

[that's a pun on putting the cart before the horse ... this joke works better verbally]
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby B.Good » Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:10 am UTC

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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby webgiant » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:40 am UTC

Google is so impersonal.

skeptical scientist wrote:Let me Google that for you.


And Google sometimes doesn't have the answer to the question. You answered "what are some esoteric crude math jokes" with "here are some math jokes a high school student would get easily."

I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.

Nínion an ist thand...
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby doogly » Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:15 am UTC

I think you're overestimating both Mensa and sherry.

I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby radams » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:03 am UTC

Complex analysts do it continuously.

Real analysts do it almost everywhere.

Algebraists do it in a group, in a ring, in a field.
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby fishfry » Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:25 am UTC

webgiant wrote:I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.


Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.

http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby webgiant » Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:25 pm UTC

doogly wrote:I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.


There you go, this is what I'm talking about!

fishfry wrote:
webgiant wrote:I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.


Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.

http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html


Well its not very rude, but thanks for it anyway.
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby Dason » Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:02 pm UTC

It's more of mathematically vulgar story but there's always the story of Polly Nomial
double epsilon = -.0000001;
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby UniqueScreenname » Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:24 am UTC

Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

If we go back to my place, I can show you the exponential growth of my natural log.
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Re: Rude Math Jokes?

Postby alreadytaken4536 » Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:04 pm UTC

I should have stopped reading as soon as Polly Nomial said she was "convergent".
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