Rude Math Jokes?

[webgiant]

I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joke-teller with their dissertation.

[skeptical scientist]

Let me Google that for you.

[fishfry]

I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joke-teller with their dissertation.

There was a 17th century French cleric who tried to reform the prostitutes of Paris by teaching them analytic geometry.

He was the first man to put Descartes before the whores.

[that's a pun on putting the cart before the horse ... this joke works better verbally]

[B.Good]

Kind of relevant: http://spikedmath.com/455.html

[webgiant]

Google is so impersonal.

Let me Google that for you.

And Google sometimes doesn't have the answer to the question. You answered "what are some esoteric crude math jokes" with "here are some math jokes a high school student would get easily."

I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.

Nínion an ist thand...

[doogly]

I think you're overestimating both Mensa and sherry.

I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.

[radams]

Complex analysts do it continuously.

Real analysts do it almost everywhere.

Algebraists do it in a group, in a ring, in a field.

[fishfry]

I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.

Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.

http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html

[webgiant]

I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.

There you go, this is what I'm talking about!

I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.

Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.

http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html

Well its not very rude, but thanks for it anyway.

[Dason]

It's more of mathematically vulgar story but there's always the story of Polly Nomial

[UniqueScreenname]

Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

If we go back to my place, I can show you the exponential growth of my natural log.

[alreadytaken4536]

I should have stopped reading as soon as Polly Nomial said she was "convergent".