[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

[meridian]

Different topic ranting (and possible TMI)

Spoiler:

Rar. I give up. I'm going to stop waiting to see if this company will hire me and pay whatever it takes to get temp agency based health insurance. I'm going to have to piecemeal things throughout my budget to afford it, but I can't wait any longer. (Not that I'll be able to get signed up until the next open enrollment window...) Somewhere between my dry rot wall, my bc, my scuzzy roommate, job stress, depression, and the beloved transportation system, I've been perpetually sick for weeks, if not months. I've got a head injury from the beginning of the month I want to get checked out. I've had the stomach flu, head aches, muscle aches, back aches, sinus infections, respiratory infections... and now?

I'm trying to make an appointment with PP because I want to get my ring checked. Either it is entirely too abrasive near my opening and is also giving me a yeast infection, or it's giving me a UTI because of how it is placed. It's impossible for me to tell anything right now because my body is still utter shit due to said stomach flu and my impending period. Moving the ring makes some symptoms subside, but I am going to get checked out just as soon as I can confirm an appointment.

Everything costs money and I hate it, but I am less in tears than this morning. Fucking PMS.

[lucrezaborgia]

I've heard of that happening with some people with the ring. Sucks cuz it's damn convenient bc!

[suffer-cait]

my mom was 39.5 when i was born.

[Hofstadter'sLaw]

Woman thread! I am in need of advice.
I have weirdly shaped feet (the knuckle sticks out at like a 10-20deg angle), so finding shoes that fit comfortably is near-impossible, and I have no idea what my actual shoe size is (somewhere around 8w though, in US women's). I recently got a pair of boots (necessary for midwestern winters) that fit okay--they're just about wide enough (but leather, so they'll break in) but they're a tad too long. On top of that, they have a tiny wedge heel--a comfortable height, but I'm not used to anything that's not flats, so every time I take a step my foot slides forward in the shoe a tad and jams into the top part of the shoe, which is too narrow for my feet.
Is there a solution for this? Do there exist like... toe stuffers that can help keep my heel aligned with the back of the shoe? Would it work to cut up sponges and put little pieces in the toe? Or is this actually how boots are supposed to feel?

Look up something like "foot cushions" or "foot halters" like this: http://www.amazon.com/Foam-Ball-Foot-Cu ... 041&sr=1-1

It's like a pad you put at the ball of your foot that's supposed to keep it from sliding forward. I've never tried them before, I just saw them when I was looking up "heel grippers" (I had a problem with my heel sliding up in a pair of shoes before).

[Cathy]

My mom had me at 30 and my brother at 33. Her grandma had her at 28 and my youngest uncle at 48 (suprise!). My grandma had one at 28, one at 29, 31, 33, 35, 37, 39, 41, 49. Nine kids in all, and almost all 30+.

I know there's a lot of hooplah about "has you some babies early!" but seriously, I'm not going to have kids until at LEAST 25. I just don't feel like I'll be ready, financially or emotionally, for a kid when I am "most fertile." Like, right now, at 21. Baby in college? Not my favorite idea.

(Edited for accuracy! My grandmother & grandfather didn't believe in birth control, or something, and it worked for them because they could make ends meet even with tons of kids!)

[Plasmic-Turtle]

I still don't feel ready at 25 :-s
Well, I feel emotionally ready, but I've not the proper job, steady relationship or living situation to do so, and neither do I feel I've experienced sufficient traveling and freedom.

I'm not sure whether it's good to know there's the possibility of 9 kids post-30 or not though! Wow. I'm not hoping for quite that many. But it sure is reassuring to know there's hopefully a bit of time left

My Mum had her children at 35, 37, and 40 (I'm the youngest). And my Dad was 54 when I was born, as he's 14 yrs older. It has it's good and bad sides: on the one hand my parents had a lot of life experience and wisdom that I'm sure helped their parenting, and my view of the world, a lot. On the other hand, their older age (and financial situation with retirement and the like) meant that we didn't get the skiiing, sporty, bike-riding thing at all from them, nor overseas travel. I also have to accept that my Dad (now 80) will never meet my children if I have any, not be there at my wedding if I have one, and that the difficult decisions about rest-homes or live-in care and the like will come sooner for my siblings and I than they do for my most of my friends.

Edited to add another angry rant about female breasts being labelled obscene (sorry if I've been a bit excessive lately).

Spoiler:

Article on the local news website today:

A pair of boobs at Opunake beach sparked an official police visit to the normally peaceful stretch of sand yesterday afternoon.

Senior Sergeant Mike Hannah received calls from a man and a woman complaining about a topless sunbather at the beach some time after lunch.

"I went down there and had a look," he said.

"She was topless sunbathing. I went and had a chat with the lifeguards. I said it was not an offence."

Mr Hannah said the middle-aged woman was not approaching anyone and was about 20 metres from the nearest group of sunbathers.

"And they were a group of three girls," he said.

Though sunbathing topless was not an offence, Mr Hannah said exposing reproductive organs was.

This meant men would immediately get in trouble for dropping their pants but the same was not always the case if women went nude.

Holiday makers Louise Lahmert and Maria Lombard of Manawatu had witnessed the topless woman as they supervised their children dig a pond and an intricate canal system on the beach.

"It wasn't in your face; it was quite natural," Mrs Lahmert said.

"My kids have seen me in my knickers; they know what boobies are," Mrs Lombard said.

The woman had gone swimming, then come back to the sand to sunbathe they said. She had not drawn attention to herself and had been accompanied by an older man.

While she was walking back from her swim the pair witnessed one woman forcibly stop a man – who may have been her husband – from looking at the topless swimmer.

"I think we were all a bit jealous," Mrs Lombard said. "We would have loved to have done what she did."

Head lifeguard Sophie Trolove would neither confirm nor deny the topless incident, saying she would lose her job if she talked to the media.

"I can only say this: Our main concern is that you swim between the flags whether you are clothed or in the nude."

UGH. To get boobs normalised will be a hard fight, won't it? This is a beach near where I live. What was their reasoning, really? Are they really unaware of the law? Or hoping that the cop wasn't aware or was the type of cop to act on his own morals above the law (and banking on his morals agreeing with their own?)

"JESUS! There's boobs! They might sexually assault me or some small children. We must call the cops to stop this indecent exposure at once. Wouldn't want young boys to see what NIPPLES look like, I mean it's not like they've ever suckled on them or have some on their chests themselves..."

Or, more likely, "how dare that woman tempt my boyfriend like that!"
That middle-aged woman who's already in a relationship. How dare she.

I guess I SHOULD feel stoked about the fact that the policeman handled the situation well and that two other women on the beach (who DO have young children) gave very positive responses, but the stuff they say to cover their own asses against public backlash is still a bit disturbing. She "was not approaching anyone and was about 20 metres from the nearest group of sunbathers" - well, what if she wasn't that far away or happened to walk toward them on her way back to her car? Is it suddenly threatening, obscene, illegal behaviour?

I guess I find it disturbing as I'd imagined that if I WERE brave enough to challenge this ridiculous, sexist, facet of our society, I'd be met with angry glares and people might yell at me to put a top on or write letters of disgust to the newspaper... it never really occurred to me they'd go to the trouble of calling the cops and all. :-/

[GraphiteGirl]

My mum was 36 when I was born.

Spoiler:

Also, I do not like treating yeast infections with internal cream and an applicator. I do not like it, Sam I am.

[KestrelLowing]

I believe my mom was 32 when she had me, and she was always about the same age as most of my friends' parents. Granted, I am the youngest, and my mother had my oldest sister when she was 25 (at that point, she always said that she felt like everyone was judging her for being too young - but I think that's mainly because everyone in my family just looks young for their age, so even though she was 25, she looked like she was 20 or something). As far as I know, there were no complications with anything, although I was a C-section because my brothers were (one was breach). I personally have been pretty healthy through my life. Honestly, and I'm not sure if this is because she had me when older, or simply because I'm the youngest by 5 years (my parents insist I was not an accident), but I think I got to see a slightly better bit of parenting because I think she started to feel comfortable being her flawed self, even around us kids.

[Cathy]

While I'm not planning to have 9 kids either (2 or 3 at the most thank you!) it's still nice to know that my mother's side has good reproductive history. My dad's side is slightly spottier but that probably has more to do with his mom having Hodgkin's Lymphoma between babies 2 and 3. Cancer + miscarriages + chemo = bad feelings.

I actually just learned about her having Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My dad got it too. I hope I don't get it. Thought I suppose that if I had to choose a cancer, it's not the worst to have. [/depressing topic]

I planted Nasturtium seeds and they are growing. 5 inches high and higher by the minute! Growing things makes me happy.

Bizzare topic change: My periods tend to last for 7-9 days. I keep reading they're supposed to last 4-5. Is this a Bad Thing or within the standard deviation of Body Weirdness?

[sophyturtle]

Mom had me at 32, and grandma had her at 31. I am just worried cause I and 28, hoping to start grad school @29 and not wanting to make offspring until after I graduate. On top of that, my honey has been a single parent since he was 21, and he has not been big into 2 kids in his 30's since he has already been doing the kid thing so long.
But yeah, you can have kids for a while yet.

[Isotope_238]

@Cathy: 7-9 days is perfectly normal, as far as I know.

[namaize]

Ooh, thanks all! Non-slidyness does seem like a better option than toe-stuffing. And I'll probably look at men's boots eventually, though in general I like the aesthetic of women's boots more.

@lucreza: All the best for your wedding! And my mom was over 30 when she had both me and my older sister. It doesn't seem to be that uncommon a phenomenon so you're probably safe

[Sprocket]

Different topic ranting (and possible TMI)

Eppers, Fey. ::hugs:: I haven't gone to doctor in very long time, but now that I have insurance again I really need to.

[meridian]

I am off to PP today after work! Hopefully this will all get cleared up soon.

Spoiler:

It definitely needs to be cleared up before the 16th. I have plans, dammit. I have not put this much work and anticipation into getting laid ever before.

[Cathy]

Good luck! I hope it goes well for you!

[bluebambue]

Bizzare topic change: My periods tend to last for 7-9 days. I keep reading they're supposed to last 4-5. Is this a Bad Thing or within the standard deviation of Body Weirdness?

I had 7-9 day periods from when I first started until about 2 years ago when they became shorter (maybe because I exercised more?). Anyway, that seems normal to me. You may want to check if you're anemic though.

[Cathy]

Ugh, my mom's chronically anemic, I might be too. How would I check something like that? (I'm 7 years into Shark Week so it's probably not to do with starting. I do have the Mirena IUD though.)

[Noc]

I suspect you'd have to go get a blood test. I'm not aware of any Home Anemia Kits, or anything. (Though that doesn't mean they don't exist.)

(Also I totally spelled that wrong the first time, and almost created a sentence that was both irrelevant and manifestly untrue.)

[charolastra]

Ugh, my mom's chronically anemic, I might be too. How would I check something like that? (I'm 7 years into Shark Week so it's probably not to do with starting. I do have the Mirena IUD though.)

It requires a blood test. What symptoms do you have to make you think you are anemic?

If going to a doctor is at all a problem, get iron supplements. When I was anemic during chemo, my oncologist suggested Vitron-C iron pills even though my anemia wasn't technically iron-deficient anemia. They are not too expensive and would probably be the first line of treatment if you talked to a doctor. Take them for 2 weeks and document how you feel. If you are getting better, hurray! If not, see a doctor.

[Cathy]

Oh, I have long periods and someone suggested that might be correlated with anemia. My mom tends to be iron deficient, it's entirely possible that diet/periods combined mean I am a little iron deficient.

Vitamins, deploy! Also, need to eat more meat.

[Shro]

A quick reminder, since we were talking about yeast infections recently. If you notice a correlation between yeast infections/UTIs and times when you've had sex, there's a couple of things to do. Peeing after sex is the easiest. Showering after sex is also advisable. The most important: if you have a male partner, ask them how often they change their underwear. Penises can handle a much more diverse group of bacteria than female vaginas and urethras can, and if he's not up to the same standards of hygiene you are, bad things can happen. So, it follows, that showering before sex can also be a good idea

[doogly]

if you have a male partner, ask them how often they change their underwear.

I... this is a thing? Like, daily is what I'm thinking is the right thing here. Is there some other answer you could imagine getting? Who are these people who are not on a daily schedule?

[Fantastic Idea]

Some of your closest friends, I'd assume.

[doogly]

Are you making an assumption about their underwear habits, or about which friends I actually consider close? These both seem potentially quite dangerous. This is going to get uncomfortable.

I'm doing inspections next soup night. Wear something nice.

[Shro]

I think you're underestimating how disgusting boys of undergraduate age can be.

[Aaeriele]

So, it follows, that showering before sex can also be a good idea

Or during, if you're into that.

[meridian]

Oh, btw. PP turned out to be a huge waste of money. My body decided to stop having whatever issues it was having some number of hours before the appointment came to fruition and I ended up looking like a hypochondriac to the staff. The visit wasn't entirely without merit, but I kind of wish I had called off the search before the $50 lab fee.

No yeast infection (lots of good bacteria in there).
No signs of a UTI, but I did score a +1 on WBC count so there might have been something once, recently.
Over all? Healthy.

[Chuff]

I think you're underestimating how disgusting boys of undergraduate age can be.

Hey!

But really i know people like this. Shro's right, you should ask.

[lucrezaborgia]

One thing that I've found that helps with the vag itchies is using the shower head to spray cold water and rinse off occasionally during the day and whatever you do, don't scratch!

Another thing I thought of is that sometimes the problem is that you are too clean. Weird, I know! Some soaps are a bit rough for that area and will kill off too much good bacteria just like if you are taking antibiotics. Cetaphil soap is awesome for this, but only the daily wash or the regular bar soap. It's also awesome for getting clean before sex and makes all your smelly parts smell like nothing but fresh skin.

[dragon]

The delights of screwed-up vaginal flora. Started with antibiotics after a minor surgical procedure and subsequent infection (Bartholin cyst marsupialisation). I would very much like to go back to normality now, please.

Spoiler:

I am uncomfortable with vaginal examinations at my usual GP clinic. I say this after getting maybe six there in as many months. Its getting more difficult for me to go through with it each time.

Antibiotics, yeast infections, and recurrent bacterial vaginosis. That last one is bringing new bouts of shame and disgust. Which is stupid. It can occur spontaneously, is not uncommon, and is (meant to be) easily treated, if prone to recurrence. But it's not something that I've seen talked about much, except that stories of the key symptom abound. The notorious "fishy" smelling vagina. Having not had any uncondomed PIV sex in forever, it's not something I had happen, but still, the shame. The characteristic smell occurs if the vaginal secretions are exposed to alkaline fluid, e.g. semen. One of the diagnostic tests is to add a drop of KOH solution to a swab of vaginal fluids. The smell change is huge. (I performed this test at home, substituting NaOH for KOH. My earlier diagnosis of BV was based on a lab swab sent for culturing.)

Next step: A recommended treatment for persistent BV/yeast infections is boric acid vaginal suppositories. Fun times. Boric acid is meant to be an over-the-counter product, but no one stocks it these days. Not one of the five pharmacies I tried. At the last one, I discussed it with the pharmacist who agreed that it was a sensible thing for me to be doing. I was beginning to worry that it was impossible to find for a good reason. He recommended trying a compounding pharmacy, which are few and far between, and the nearest one was closed for the next two days. So! To the internet! Should arrive today or tomorrow. And I just need to try not to worry about dodgy online medication stuff.

[lucrezaborgia]

Have they tried diflucan at all???

[PictureSarah]

Does anyone have the link to that chart comparing all the kinds of contraception ever that someone linked a while back? I have searched and can't find it.

[Deva]

Here.

[PictureSarah]

Thank you very much. I have now totally educated a coworker on every kind of birth control ever. She was using the "my husband takes care of it" method, where by "takes care of it," I have gathered that she basically means "pulls out." I don't know why she hasn't ended up pregnant yet, but when I called attention to the failure rates and the myriad of contraceptive choices out there, she called and made an appointment. She has at her OBGYN as I type. I feel like a very minor superhero.

[sophyturtle]

Contraception Woman! Bringing education and happy sex life choices to women nearby!

[Virtual_Aardvark]

You need a costume, and a cape, and an invisible car and a sidekick. Your sidekick can be called "Ovary Girl", or "Just Put on a Freakin Condom Boy". Your weapon of choice can be an oversized pregnancy test....

[PAstrychef]

And your theme song can be Safety First by The Rude Girls!

[dragon]

Have they tried diflucan at all???

Was this towards me? Diflucan is an antifungal, not effective for bacterial vaginosis. I had diflucan multiple times against the usual thrush side-effect of the antibiotic courses. Possibly also another antifungal at some point, but I don't remember well.

[sophyturtle]

Hi Happy No Baby Blood Celebration!
Nice to see you, but you were a slight surprise. I only had one day of spotting, not the normal two. I thought is was safe to fart, but you saw that as the invitation to be hardcore flowing.
It's cool.
I still love you.

turtle

[Virtual_Aardvark]

Jumping on the shark week bandwagon!

Will it be cool or just creepy if all our cycles sync up?