Rude Math Jokes?
Moderators: gmalivuk, Moderators General, Prelates
Rude Math Jokes?
I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joketeller with their dissertation.
 skeptical scientist
 closedminded spiritualist
 Posts: 6139
 Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
 Location: San Francisco
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.
"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson
"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
webgiant wrote:I'm looking for rude crude math jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joketeller with their dissertation.
There was a 17th century French cleric who tried to reform the prostitutes of Paris by teaching them analytic geometry.
He was the first man to put Descartes before the whores.
[that's a pun on putting the cart before the horse ... this joke works better verbally]
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
Kind of relevant: http://spikedmath.com/455.html
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
Google is so impersonal.
And Google sometimes doesn't have the answer to the question. You answered "what are some esoteric crude math jokes" with "here are some math jokes a high school student would get easily."
I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.
Nínion an ist thand...
skeptical scientist wrote:Let me Google that for you.
And Google sometimes doesn't have the answer to the question. You answered "what are some esoteric crude math jokes" with "here are some math jokes a high school student would get easily."
I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.
Nínion an ist thand...
 doogly
 Dr. The Juggernaut of Touching Himself
 Posts: 5003
 Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:31 am UTC
 Location: Somerville, MA
 Contact:
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
I think you're overestimating both Mensa and sherry.
I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.
I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.
LE4dGOLEM: What's a Doug?
Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.
Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.
Or; Is that your eye butthairs?
Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.
Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.
Or; Is that your eye butthairs?
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
Complex analysts do it continuously.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Algebraists do it in a group, in a ring, in a field.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Algebraists do it in a group, in a ring, in a field.
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
webgiant wrote:I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.
Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.
http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
doogly wrote:I'm fond of the Gauss Bonnet theorem. If you pay close attention to the curves, you know how many holes there are.
There you go, this is what I'm talking about!
fishfry wrote:webgiant wrote:I was hoping for jokes which might be told at Mensa after the third glass of sherry.
Well there's always this oldie ... the mathematical theory of big game hunting. I had no trouble finding it on the Internet, though I first saw it many years ago. It's been around a long time.
http://www.cs.umd.edu/~gasarch/HUMOR/lion.html
Well its not very rude, but thanks for it anyway.
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
It's more of mathematically vulgar story but there's always the story of Polly Nomial
double epsilon = .0000001;
 UniqueScreenname
 Something something Purple. Stop asking.
 Posts: 1430
 Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:11 pm UTC
 Location: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
If we go back to my place, I can show you the exponential growth of my natural log.
If we go back to my place, I can show you the exponential growth of my natural log.
PolakoVoador wrote:Pizza is never a question, pizza is always the answer.
poxic wrote:When we're stuck, flailing, and afraid, that's usually when we're running into the limitations of our old ways of doing things. Something new is being born. Stick around and find out what it is.

 Posts: 34
 Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:56 pm UTC
Re: Rude Math Jokes?
I should have stopped reading as soon as Polly Nomial said she was "convergent".
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests