Cats and the Weird Things They Do

[PatrickRsGhost]

Charybdis and Scylla both like to carry around a toy mouse, yowling in that special "We have prey for you!" way, and bring it to the bed when we are sitting and reading before sleep, and drop it between us.

Our old gray-and-white cat Bill the First (he got that title after we took in another gray tabby and named him Bill as well) would do the same thing, but with various objects. Mostly, any of my small toys he could get in his mouth. The main thing he would get would be any Happy Meal or other similar kids' meal toys that I had. When the Disney movie "Bambi" was rereleased the theaters, before coming to VHS, McDonald's ran a Happy Meal promotion featuring toys of characters from the movie. I had gotten young Bambi in a Happy Meal. Bill would take it when no one was looking, carry it into the hall or elsewhere in the apartment or house, and start making a "Merr! Merr! Merr!" sound. We thought he was calling our other cat, Bunny, to come eat, or else to kill the prey. Sometimes he just liked carrying it around. We called it his "Bambi Baby". He did the same thing to a finger puppet from "All Dogs Go To Heaven" and a stuffed toy snow leopard. The latter was about half his size, but he still carried it around and "Merr"ed it.

[lucrezaborgia]

Paddington would just love to be outside. He stares out windows for hours in all areas of the house. If that window has some sunshine in it, BONUS! I have a feeling we would be drowning in dead and dying mice and rabbits if he was let out. Unfortunately, we live on a major street with cars and trucks thundering down all day.

[merrak]

Every time I play with the laser pointer I'm reminded of this comic ( http://xkcd.com/729/ )

After he is done chasing it he usually takes a nap. I'm almost certain this is what he is dreaming about.

[PatrickRsGhost]

Paddington would just love to be outside. He stares out windows for hours in all areas of the house. If that window has some sunshine in it, BONUS! I have a feeling we would be drowning in dead and dying mice and rabbits if he was let out. Unfortunately, we live on a major street with cars and trucks thundering down all day.

Have you got a covered porch you could screen in? You could look into doing that.

[merrak]

Paddington would just love to be outside. He stares out windows for hours in all areas of the house. If that window has some sunshine in it, BONUS! I have a feeling we would be drowning in dead and dying mice and rabbits if he was let out. Unfortunately, we live on a major street with cars and trucks thundering down all day.

Have you got a covered porch you could screen in? You could look into doing that.

What you need is to build a catio.

http://catioshowcase.com/

[lucrezaborgia]

The porch isn't good enough for him and it's also winter in Wisconsin so the porch is out of the question this time of year. Typically he is hanging out on the porch and waiting for someone to open the door so he can dash outside.

[Ryom]

[lucrezaborgia]

The Orange Bastard is a fickle one.

If my husband is around, the Bastard will completely ignore me.

If my husband isn't around and I'm on the couch, the Bastard will completely ignore me.

If I'm in the kitchen and alone in the house, the Bastard will mew as if he is dying until I pick him up and carry him around like a baby. During this minor love-fest, he will purr and rub against me yet will only put his front paws on my right shoulder (It cannot be the left shoulder!) and perch in my arms.

If I'm anywhere else in the house other than the kitchen, the Bastard will most likely ignore me there too. Especially if he's sleeping between us in bed at night and I'm trying to get the covers out from under him.

He is completely and utterly my husband's cat and will sometimes leap from me to him while we're having that minor love-fest which usually leaves claw marks on me unless I make sure to never pick him up unless I'm wearing a thick sweater. The Bastard comes when my husband calls him, no matter where in the house. I've yet to get the Bastard to come to me when called. The most I get is him running when I'm pouring food or dispensing cat-nip.

The worst part of all? My cat, which I've had for over 8 years and brought up with me when I moved 1000 miles away...the cat who would never do more than tolerate anyone else...is now his cat as well.



Formerly my Fiji on the right and Paddington Du Bear (aka the Orange Bastard, Senor Fluffy Pants, etc) on the left.

What are the chances that a third cat will also be his?

[merrak]

...

If I'm in the kitchen and alone in the house, the Bastard will mew as if he is dying until I pick him up and carry him around like a baby. During this minor love-fest, he will purr and rub against me yet will only put his front paws on my right shoulder (It cannot be the left shoulder!) and perch in my arms.

There must be something about cats and right shoulders. Mine does the exact same thing. My wife always looks so sad when the cat chooses to climb into my lap instead of hers. But she usually goes to bed before I do (I'm a night owl). She probably doesn't know the cat is curled up with her, using her arm for a pillow.

[lucrezaborgia]

One thing that my husband has over me in the sleep department is that he will pet the cats in his sleep. I sleep way too deeply for that.

[jillton]

I will preface this by saying that although I love most animals, I'm not the biggest fan of cats, nothing against them, I just never really "got" them. (that said I love all the cat stuff on the internet!)

The first thing that swayed my opinion of cats was my friends cat. An old boyfriend of mine broke up with me out of the blue, I was devestated and sad and rang my friend and she told me to call over to her house. We were watching crappy TV eating junk food, when her cat came into the room. Polly (the cat) had never acknowledged me or any other visitors before. But on this one day she came straight over and sat in my lap and just did what she could to comfort me 'cause she knew I was down.

Second thing: Our neighbours had a really really dumb cat. One day she was walking along the top of the wall seperating our garden from our neighbours'. Two magpies were hanging out, one of them landed in front of the cat and started cawing at her, just as the cat was ready to pounce, magpie flew away. Then the second magpie would land behind the cat and caw until she turned around, tried to swipe, and she'd fly away again. It was so entertaining to watch! Then the birds went into a tree in our garden, the cat followed them ... onto the thinnest, weakest branch of the tree. Cat was flipped into the air, summersaulted and landed in a bush... Mum and I nearly peed ourselves watching.

Final thing: A friend of mine does fostering until the cats find permanent homes. She was away and asked me to cat-sit as her roomie wasn't the biggest fan of cats. First night, the roomie brought his gf home and they were really loud, for a very long time, which affected my sleep. Next day I headed out to work, when I got home the roomie told me that the cat had shat in his bed! The day after that, she vomited outside his door... She really, really, really didn't like him...

[lucrezaborgia]

Note to self: The Orange Bastard trips balls on the nip. I gave him some in his tree and walked away. Apparently, I walked back too quickly because he saw me out of the corner of his eye and went flying like I was the most terrifying thing ever. It had to be me because he raced off exactly opposite my direction. Now he's stalking the area around where I was sitting to find the mysterious beast which so terrified him with his tail all fluffed out like a bottle brush.

Another thing...what is with cats and bathrooms? Why do they have to be in there when you are on the toilet???

[Djehutynakht]

This confuses me. Does this mean that the bird has been shot at 45 times or that the one cat has lost 5 (now 6) of his 9 lives protecting the bird?

Confusing me further is why he has not eaten the birds by now.

[Noc]

The joke is that the laser sight looks like a laser pointer, which cats have a well-known impulse to jump at.

[acablue]

Set up an artificial plant for Christmas. Decorated it with ornaments and placed an angel doll at the top. No issues with any humans present (except some bent branches). Without humans? Beheaded the angel. On two occasions. Switched to a stouter angel afterwards. Never attacked the other ornaments. Merely knocked them off.

If you gave me a penny for every time one of my cats batted a bulb off the Christmas tree, I'd be about $10 richer. I feel your pain.

[poxic]

Humans are very kind for setting up play stations for cats, especially ones with so many colourful shiny things within paw's reach.

[gorcee]

So there's this: http://www.ipetcompanion.com/

[fredded]

Our old cat Spud had health problems. He had probably been starved as a kitten, and had constant back pain from poorly grown vertebrae, so he went to the vet often.
When we called to make an appointment, the vet nurse would say, "Oh no," because he could be quite vicious when frightened, but was a lovely cat to someone who had built up his trust.

I went to collect him after a procedure that required general anaesthetic, and he was still a bit dopey. I sat in the waiting room, and the nurse went to put him into his carry-cage. There was the sound of a cat screaming as though being tortured and then the nurse came out to get another nurse for help. Others in the waiting room were saying, "Oh, that poor cat," while I sat feeling a little embarrassed as my half drugged cat took two people to be put in a cage.They brought him out to dirty looks from the other people, as he mewed pathetically, looking very hard done by.

[Djehutynakht]

The joke is that the laser sight looks like a laser pointer, which cats have a well-known impulse to jump at.

I know, but still.

[PatrickRsGhost]

I went to collect him after a procedure that required general anaesthetic, and he was still a bit dopey. I sat in the waiting room, and the nurse went to put him into his carry-cage. There was the sound of a cat screaming as though being tortured and then the nurse came out to get another nurse for help. Others in the waiting room were saying, "Oh, that poor cat," while I sat feeling a little embarrassed as my half drugged cat took two people to be put in a cage.They brought him out to dirty looks from the other people, as he mewed pathetically, looking very hard done by.

Classic evil cat, right there.

I had a tortoiseshell that used to be my grandmother's that tried to pull a similar stunt. When I moved into the house, I brought my two cats in. My snowshoe Siamese Simon and Shelly, the tortoiseshell, always fought over who would be the matriarch. Shelly had been the matriarch of my grandma's cats; Simon mine. Whenever Simon would go after Shelly, Shelly would scream bloody murder, knowing full well I'd get onto Simon. In some cases it was legit.

Then there was one particular incident. I was sitting at home, watching TV, when Shelly was in the living room, bathing herself. Simon came in, and was just strolling through the living room, probably just to jump up into my lap. Shelly saw her, and started her usual screams of torture. She didn't know I had been watching, and looked quite perturbed and embarrassed when I called her out, instead of yelling at Simon. That trick may have worked on my grandma; it didn't work on me. They quickly learned to resolve their differences after that.

Funniest thing with them was they both liked to sleep at the head of my bed. One would sleep on one side, and the other the other side. What would happen within the first hour after getting in bed was something like this:

10:00 PM - I get into bed, call both of them into the bed, turn out light on headboard (headboard had two built-in lights and a shelf for books)

10:05 PM - Shelly would get settled in on my right side (if I was laying on my back)

10:07 PM - Simon would settle in on my left

10:09 PM - Shelly would get up, move down to the foot of the bed

10:20 PM - Simon would decide to go to the foot of the bed; Shelly changes to the head

10:25 PM - Coaly (my tortoiseshell) would saunter in, insist on getting under the covers

10:30 PM - Simon decides to come back to the head of the bed; Shelly goes back to the foot

Basically, I had a cat "changing of the guard" thing going on.

[Black Dynamite]

My cat, Heli, and his brother, Copter, aren't as clever as they think they are. They can be as rebellious as they'd like, but when it comes time to go the vet, all I need to do is put an open box down in the living room.

In related news, has anyone watched Simon's Cat?

[Cathy]

I love Simon's Cat.

I recently was adopted by a cute little gray-and-white 8-month-old kitten I've named Merry. I got her spayed about 5 months ago along with her mama and her brother but she's a real cuddle-butt and has hung around. She loves to sit next to my fish tank and thwap the glass when the fish come near. She doesn't want to put her paws into the water (On purpose, at least! If she swipes the water she spends 5 minutes shaking her paw off!) but she LOVES to tap on the glass and drive the fish nutty. There are scratches on the corner of my shrimp tank from her!

My two year old, Pippin, (another I got fixed and ended up keeping) is hugely silly. He likes to sweep my books off my bookshelf when he wants me to wake up. Thump... thump thump... *swipe*... scritch schritch on the shelf... THUMP! I thought he was clearing them off so he could sit there, so I cleared a shelf off for him, but no. Not interested. He just wants to push off the books!

All four kitties love rabbit-skin catnip mice. The little two (Merry and Pip) love to carry the mice around by the tail. The big two (Schori and Ofer, about 4, brothers) love to chew off the tails first thing. All of them love tossing them around the room.

Cats, I love them. I baby talk to them, and I'm not sure why. Also, they "talk" to me, I meow and they meow back. <3

[merrak]

Cats, I love them. I baby talk to them, and I'm not sure why. Also, they "talk" to me, I meow and they meow back. <3

Mine will do this. Sometimes when I'm talking to other people in the room, he'll think I'm talking to him and start meowing.

[Ryom]

What's behind the spoiler? Is it cats? Must be cats... but maybe it's not! What do you do? Click... no. Maybe. Hmm...

Spoiler:

[Ptolom]

We have had to upgrade our feline recapture technology. I stand upstairs in mission control with a laser pointer to distract and point out the location of the cat, while the other operative stays in radio contact and persues her.

[mercutio_stencil]

I just realized my cat may in fact be Garfield; while there may be a lot of big orange tabbies with attitude problems, my cat actually likes pasta (although he prefers it raw for some reason) and has a stuffed bear that he carries around with him. I'm not to sure what to do with this new information.

[wst]

Heh. A friend had a centipede for almost all of his 23 years (!).

So I was scared by the title of the thread at the moment and clicked... then the penny dropped. Anyway, I'm 19, and I got my cat (well, the one I currently have).... when I was 2? Yeah, not looking forward to zilch-time. But what is nice is that she's still pretty active and stuff. Weird thing is that she will pee in the litter tray but won't crap in it, she likes to drop those bombs of hers on the newspaper next to the tray. Very weird. Good job it's not the other way around, or we'd have replaced the carpet a few times by now...

[Djehutynakht]

Now moving on with the purpose of talking about actual centipedes.

They in fact have the trend of acting actually wierd. I have a few centipedes running loose in the basement. I must crush those things like the bugs they (literally) are.

[Menacing Spike]

What's behind the spoiler? be it centipedes? Must be centipedes... but maybe 'tis not! What do you do? Click... no. Maybe. Hmm...

Spoiler:

If you can't see the centipedes, just change "centipedes" in the url into "centipedes"!

[jakes1487]

It took me reading the entire first post on this thread again and thinking I had read that story somewhere before, for me to realize that this was the whole loaf crumb thing and not an actual thread on centipedes.

I have a few centipedes running loose in the basement. I must crush those things like the bugs they (figuratively) be.

Literally, at this point.

figuratively, at this point.

I think I'm so smart to preview my post and make this quote, and then I realize I was the one who was trolled.