[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

[semicharmed]

When I actually think about it, I'm not quite sure how I take it out...I think I do a sort of c shape thing and just angle one side out first? I don't really think about it anymore though, it's just whatever seems right (and it can vary a bit depending on how full it is, I think).

Also, how I take it out depends very much on where I am... I find mine slides out easiest when I fold it almost in half (almost the same way I put it in), but if it's really full it's not practical in public bathrooms because it tends to make the removing hand a bit bloody. And by a bit, I mean sometimes that hand ends up covered in blood. I can also ease mine out almost unfolded (combination of squeezing my vag muscles and a gentle pulling of the stem, with a finger keeping the seal broken), which takes more time and can make me a bit sore if I'm doing it a lot, but that keeps most of the blood/chunks in the cup until the dump into the toilet.

I have a divacup, btw.

[meridian]

I went out last night and bought a new divacup and some gladrags for days when I don't want to use the cup. Ever since starting bc, my periods have been freakishly light and that is kind of nice. I'm a c-fold and deal with it kind of person, but I have trouble with my cervix being too low on the first day. I have learned to just leave it in and move on with my day, even if it doesn't fully expand at first, because it'll work itself out in a little while.

(My pocketbook is hurting from this, but I think the purchase was well worth it.)

[existential_elevator]

I sometimes have that similar problem with my cervix, but haven't trimmed the stem because (and I quote from the book of "10 things you don't want to hear a doctor say when she's wrist-deep in your vagina") I have a pretty deep cervix usually. I use a punch-down-fold, and tend to try to move around a bit if I notice that it didn't unfold itself. Stairs help. Kegels also help a little sometimes.

Oddly, I think Cassi and I got cups at a similar time. I would definitely never go back. Ever. Not sure how I lived before. I'm also wondering at what point I try to enlighten my kid sister as to such things (she is only 4, but best to think ahead, no?).

...It's also good to feel that you totally have the menstrual thing sorted out for a long while if the apocalypse ever sets in. I mean, if you're sorting out your zombie survival plan, you don't really want several years worth of tampons to worry about. One menstrual cup, and you're apocalypse-proof for at least 5, if not more, years. What more could you want?

[Plasmic-Turtle]

This is quite possibly already on here somewhere, I'm being a bit lazy... but would those of you with cups say that they are easier to insert than tampons, or more difficult? Not so much in terms of getting used to them, I mean I figure that at first it'll be more difficult while you're learning to use them - but with the diameter they fold down to and how slippery and easy to slide in they are? Because I've been considering getting one, but last month had tampon issues again. Some months I can use tampons and the world is wonderful, I can swim and dance and almost forget Shark Week is even there. Other (most?) months I can't get a super-slim tampon in from missionary position if I spend 20 mins trying. An easier, environmentally friendly alternative would be a god send.

[paulisa]

I find the cup easier to insert than tampons, especially easier than changing tampons because I was usually rather dry after taking a tampon out. With the cup, I sometimes wet the rim with water or lube, but mostly it slides in without trouble. However, figuring out how to fold it and in what position to best insert it was a bit of a hassle.
The diameter and shape depends on the fold, but the diameter is larger than that of a tampon (I think). But I find it easier to insert because it slides a lot more readily and doesn't have to be shoved so far back. I haven't tried swimming with the cup yet, but I might try on one of the lighter days.

[Enuja]

I've had problems with leaking if it doesn't fold open, or if I put in "too deep," which really just means with the cervix outside of the cup instead of inside. Because of this, I've developed the habit of feeling around the entire lip with my index finger, to make sure that the cup is the right place and popped open. On the question of how difficult it is to insert compared to a tampon, you never feel that high-friction effect of trying to insert a dry, absorbent wad of cotton into a wet, soft place. On the other hand, at least for me, because of having to check the rim, it's a much, much more complicated process than simply inserting a tampon and it involves a lot more in the way of fingers and manipulation in my vagina. I adore my cup, but learning to use it took at least 3 cycles, and I had to cut the stem completely off (because it was poking my labia in a painful way).

When inserting a tampon or a cup, though, you should never be in anything like a "missionary position." It's much easier to have your legs open, either by sitting on the toilet, with one a leg up on something and both legs bent while standing, or laying down with your legs up and apart.

I'm one of those people who just pulls the cup straight down, trying not to spill it, when I take it out. First, I bear down, which shoves the end of the cup out of my vagina, then I "break the seal" in the sense that I pinch the bottom a bit to be able to hold on, which changes the shape. I don't worry about it causing any pain because, for me, it simply doesn't. The "suction" simply isn't very strong, there is almost no friction, and the combination of bearing down and pulling the pinched bottom of the cup allows it come right out for me. That said, it never comes out on accident (because I don't pinch/pull on it), even when I'm defecating and see a disturbingly large percentage of the cup push out out of vagina.

[mochafairy]

Oh, hello shark week. You'd think with all the cramping and pain you've been causing, I'd have Niagara Falls, but you're being a dripping faucet. You know, it'd be kinda nice if ya'll cooperated and weren't all crampy and stuff when they put me on new medication, because it makes it difficult to note side effects.

Edit: I realize that is very whiny. Sorry.

[Sungura]

Sorry to be ot from the cup discussion but...
I've been very itchy down there lately. On the outside of the outer labia. Like where I shave. Lotion with pepermint in it seems to help (pepermint is natural anti-itch) but the effects wear off rather quickly. I have been shaving with a bit more frequency as of late. It used to be fine though. Do I need a sharper razor? Better one for getting into all the curves? Other options that wont kill me (I have never moomed/waxed/whatevere'd anything at all ever)?

[mochafairy]

Amy-

Spoiler:

I have found that making sure that I moisturize and have good panties helps. You might want to get a mirror and see if there are razor bumps. If there are, then I'd rule your razor as the culprit, or at least one of them.

Does the itching correlate with any event, like shaving or after a walk or something? That might help narrowing down suspects and solutions as well.

I'm really not any help.

[Sungura]

Yeah I have little bumps around hair folicle insertion points in couple places, but no signs of ingrown issues (I dont know if that makes sense, sounds crazy, or just nerdy lol).

So razor then? I dont use anything when I shave perhaps I need to invest in Skintamate or similar product and keep my blade fresher/sharper?

[lucrezaborgia]

Try shaving with baby oil or using an unscented body oil after shaving.

[Ashlah]

When you say you don't use anything, do you mean you don't use shaving cream/gel? Because that's an absolute must for me. If I didn't use some sort of lubrication like that, I would be totally irritated down there all the time.

[mochafairy]

I don't remember where I read it (webmd, maybe?) but it suggested using hair conditioner as a shaving cream substitute. I think they meant for you to use it when you don't have actual shaving cream, but I've found that I like the feeling better than normal shaving cream.

[Isotope_238]

Second mochafairy's suggestion of using conditioner instead of shaving cream. Before I switched to an electric-rotary head razor for my legs, I had terrible problems with irritated skin, and conditioner helped somewhat. One time, I shaved one leg with regular shaving cream and the other with conditioner, and the conditioner leg came out less irritated. Science!

[charolastra]

Even just soap lather works for me (note: I often do not use anything). Coconut oil versus regular lotion really helps with irritation.

[paulisa]

Does anyone remember a calculation of the cummulative risk of an unplanned pregnancy in the life of a woman using contraception? I think it came up in one of the abortion threads but I can't remember, and I think the answer was somewhere around 1.2 unplanned pregnancies. So now I'm in a debate about this somewhere else, and I really want to quote this statistic but I can't find it

[Deva]

Will this suffice? Never discovered this specific article on the fora, only the site. Bolded the figure.

The unintended pregnancy rate shows that for every 1,000 women aged 15-44, about 45 had an accidental pregnancy during 1994 (or nearly 5%). Among women aged 15-17, the rate was similar to that for all women. It peaked at 105 per 1,000 among women aged 18-19, then dropped sharply with age. At these rates, a cohort of 100 women will have experienced 142 unintended pregnancies, or about 1.42 per woman, by the time they are 45 (not shown).

[bluebambue]

Though that statistic says nothing about what (if any) contraception those women were using.

[sockpuppet_11]

Woman Thread: could anyone recommend a few feminist blogs for me to read? I would like to read more but don't really know where to start.

[paulisa]

Thank you, that was what I was looking for. I must have remembered it wrong when I thought contraception was mentioned. I guess it would be relatively trivial to work out a cummulative chance of pregnancy with contraception, but it's way too early in the morning and statistics was way too long ago.

[Angua]

If I'm not mistaken, the failure rate is generally worked out per 1000 (maybe 100) per year, so you'd multiply up for every year?

[mochafairy]

Woman Thread: could anyone recommend a few feminist blogs for me to read? I would like to read more but don't really know where to start.

I personally like Shakesville, The Curvature, Tiger Beatdown, Blag Hag, and FWD, even though they are no longer posting. I would also check out the feminism thread for some other reading.

[Ashlah]

I enjoy stfusexists and stfuconservatives on Tumblr.

[lucrezaborgia]

http://lovejoyfeminism.blogspot.com/

http://foreverinhell.com/wordpress/

[ShortChelsea]

Off-topic: I finished my last performance of The Vagina Monologues a few hours ago. I had so much fun and I recommend anyone to do a performance at their college. My favorite quote was, "...and quit shoving dry motherfucking cotton up my poor vagina."

[lucrezaborgia]

A few years ago I went to a community theater performance. Was great! Wasn't what I expected at all.

[sockpuppet_11]

Thankyou everyone, lots to read

[cephalopod9]

More feminist blogs: The Hathor Legacy, Echidne of the Snakes, Fannie's Room, and more of a pop/nerd-culture girl space than Feminist The Mary Sue is pretty fun.

[Isotope_238]

I've been reading through the archives of the Social Justice League. I find it enjoyable reading, especially this article.

[Denebola]

@mochafairy [would quote but I can't link] Pretty good beginner's selection! I'm sad that FWD is no longer a thing. :c

Hi, I'm new to the thread! I don't identify as a woman, but I'm perceived-female and FAAB [female assigned at birth], so. Female experiences are very much something I identify with. The discussion about cups and things is fun - I've never used anything but pads in my life. :b One of these days I *will* try a tampon. I was just bizarrely terrified/totally unfamiliar with my body when things started that I managed to procure this weird aversion that's lasted years.

[meridian]

Hi Denebola! Welcome!

Tampons are a pain. I remember being young and starting Shark Week on vacation (far away from all products that were familiar) and thinking that a tampon was the only available option. I sat in the bathroom crying because I couldn't get it in and it hurt because I was basically poking my vagina with a absorbent, drying, evil bit of cotton, stressed because I had to get out of that bathroom soon and I was failing. I swore off tampons for years after that. Cups are sooo much better, though I don't think one would have avoided that day's horrors.

[Ashlah]

Just to provide a counter-story, the first time I tried tampons, I thankfully had a pretty easy time of it, and I couldn't believe I had gone so long without them. I found them to be so, so, so much more pleasant than pads. I'm almost able to forget I'm on Shark Week, which was never the case with pads. I've never used the cup, so I can't give an opinion there, but I'm quite happy with my tampons (minus the environmental impact).

[meridian]

I did get it right eventually and used them primarily until I was informed of the cup. Tampons are good! I was mostly just trying to say I can understand an aversion.

[ShortChelsea]

Does anyone have plans for Valentine's Day?

[meridian]

I have plans tonight, like I may be doing every Tuesday for a while. I am eating dinner with some friends. We will be having pasta. It will be enjoyable. I do not know what this other day is and I refuse to learn.

[Cathy]

Mmmm, I love pasta. A big plate of spaghetti and meatballs is my comfort food of choice.

My boy and I are just going to relax at home. We're not ones for big fusses.

Though I am considering buying a couple of those cute little flower plants that are on sale, because I <3 african violets but they're so hard to find here any other time of year.

Our wedding is in less than a month!! We still need to buy wedding bands... Ack!

[Sungura]

No plans for Today. I'll just be trying to get to capoeira class. I say trying 'cause I've been having health issues mostly while very much appropriate for this thread being women-plumbing-and-more issues, I dont wish to discuss on a public forum. But it sucks. (And sucks worse that I dont know why - the issues I've been dealing with the past 10+ days covers everything from pregnancy to leukemia and really I'm just hoping it's a bunch of unrelated shit that is being all coincidental as atm I dont have health insurance) So I'll be happy if I feel okay enough to just go to class this week.

[existential_elevator]

Someone seems to have accidentally me a dozen roses today There's a first time for everything

*hugs* for Sungura, I hope everything is okay.

[Cassi]

On the topic of Valentine's Day and also general woman thread related things (spoilered for potential weight related triggers)...

Spoiler:

Last night I went to the Valentine's formal at my old college with the boy, since I was up for the weekend, it was a cheap but reasonable meal for us and a chance for me to catch up with some other people. I only brought one dress with me, which I last wore in second year. Didn't try it on, because my weight is very consistent and I can basically safely assume that anything from the past 7 years will fit me. Go to put it on, can't zip it up, which is normal enough since it's a back zip. The boy can't quite manage it, but he's not used to it, so I ask him just to get one of the girls he lives with (who I don't get on with massively well -- well, it's not that there are any actual issues, just I don't know them well or think particularly highly of them, but that's another story) as they'll find it much easier. Well, she can't do it either, and at this point the hook at the top breaks off. This isn't entirely surprising since they don't tend to be sewn on that well, so I just told the boy to safety pin it instead and get it zipped up once it's held together. He can't even pull the sides together enough to safety pin them.

At this point the taxi is waiting outside and I have a full scale breakdown, throw the dress across the room, get into bed, refuse to go. The boy doesn't help by going to see if any of his housemates had a dress I can borrow, when the absolute last thing I wanted was for these girls who I don't particularly get on with to be sitting there talking about how I can't fit in my dress.

Even as it's happening, I know this whole thing is ridiculous. It stopped zipping just below my boobs, so it was quite clearly just a case of them growing (and I know they went up a cup size while I was at uni), it wasn't like I'd even gained weight. I know full well I am not remotely overweight and have nothing to worry about. But I was having a full scale breakdown over not fitting into this stupid dress.

In the end, I took off my bra, the boy was able to get it zipped, and I could then fold the top off the dress down and put my bra back on, and we were just a bit late and had a really good night. But it just really showed me that however much I think I am beyond all the messages that society is bombarding us with, however much I think I am comfortable with my body (which, on the whole, I am), one stupid little thing can still turn me into a wreck. It's pretty depressing.

And that has ended up way longer than I thought. I just wanted to put it out there a bit somehow...it just all felt so ridiculous even at the time, but at the same time felt like the only appropriate reaction...it was really not pleasant to realise just how much I've been affected by things even when I think I haven't been.

[sophyturtle]

I have plans tonight, like I may be doing every Tuesday for a while. I am eating dinner with some friends. We will be having pasta. It will be enjoyable. I do not know what this other day is and I refuse to learn.

I did this with her, and it was awesome. Wow good food and so much laughing.
A++
Highly recommend.
Weekend after next?