Last night I went to the Valentine's formal at my old college with the boy, since I was up for the weekend, it was a cheap but reasonable meal for us and a chance for me to catch up with some other people. I only brought one dress with me, which I last wore in second year. Didn't try it on, because my weight is very consistent and I can basically safely assume that anything from the past 7 years will fit me. Go to put it on, can't zip it up, which is normal enough since it's a back zip. The boy can't quite manage it, but he's not used to it, so I ask him just to get one of the girls he lives with (who I don't get on with massively well -- well, it's not that there are any actual issues, just I don't know them well or think particularly highly of them, but that's another story) as they'll find it much easier. Well, she can't do it either, and at this point the hook at the top breaks off. This isn't entirely surprising since they don't tend to be sewn on that well, so I just told the boy to safety pin it instead and get it zipped up once it's held together. He can't even pull the sides together enough to safety pin them.
At this point the taxi is waiting outside and I have a full scale breakdown, throw the dress across the room, get into bed, refuse to go. The boy doesn't help by going to see if any of his housemates had a dress I can borrow, when the absolute last thing I wanted was for these girls who I don't particularly get on with to be sitting there talking about how I can't fit in my dress.
Even as it's happening, I know this whole thing is ridiculous. It stopped zipping just below my boobs, so it was quite clearly just a case of them growing (and I know they went up a cup size while I was at uni), it wasn't like I'd even gained weight. I know full well I am not remotely overweight and have nothing to worry about. But I was having a full scale breakdown over not fitting into this stupid dress.
In the end, I took off my bra, the boy was able to get it zipped, and I could then fold the top off the dress down and put my bra back on, and we were just a bit late and had a really good night. But it just really showed me that however much I think I am beyond all the messages that society is bombarding us with, however much I think I am comfortable with my body (which, on the whole, I am), one stupid little thing can still turn me into a wreck. It's pretty depressing.