Rude Science Jokes?

[webgiant]

I'm looking for rude crude science jokes, the kind which would have 90% of the general population not understanding the joke and/or the punch line, and the remaining 10% slapping the joke-teller with their dissertations.

[letterX]

Ok, seriously?

[webgiant]

Ok, seriously?

Are you trying to say that math = science? Because them's fighting words, young man.

[Dopefish]

Are you trying to say that math = science? Because them's fighting words, young man.

Well, a degree in math usually nets you a Bacholor of Science degree, at least in my neck of the woods, so you could make an argument if one was so inclined. I am not.

In any case, posting near identical threads in more then one place is typically frowned upon, particularly when the nature of the problem lends itself well to simple googling. It probably would've been fine to ask for both together on a single thread anyway, as theres a good handful of math folk who read science, and vice versa.

I don't actually care for most of the 'rude' science jokes, as most of what I've seen seems rather forced. Theres the science pick-up lines of course ("I wish I was DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes" and the like), but I think those are a different category from what you're after.

[letterX]

In any case, posting near identical threads in more then one place is typically frowned upon, particularly when the nature of the problem lends itself well to simple googling. It probably would've been fine to ask for both together on a single thread anyway, as theres a good handful of math folk who read science, and vice versa.

Yeah, I was referring to this.

Are you trying to say that math = science? Because them's fighting words, young man.

Not this.

[webgiant]

In any case, posting near identical threads in more then one place is typically frowned upon, particularly when the nature of the problem lends itself well to simple googling. It probably would've been fine to ask for both together on a single thread anyway, as theres a good handful of math folk who read science, and vice versa.

I agree that there are math people who read science, but asking them for an esoteric rude science joke would be like asking an English major for an esoteric Latin joke: while the disciplines are related and the English major has dabbled in Latin, the English major will (generally) not know esoteric Latin jokes by dint of focusing mostly on the English language. Instead, I would post on the Latin forum for esoteric Latin jokes and the English forum for the esoteric English jokes.

It only looks like redundancy because you are assuming the questions are very similar. They're not.

As for "simple Googling", I didn't ask for math/science jokes which are created by bored high school students. That was easily Googled. What was not easily Googled (as I already found out) was esoteric math/science jokes which required actual thought to realize they were quite rude. Since they were not easily Googled, I went to a forum populated by thinking-brain people to ask for information from their collective memory and experience.

[rajonmestra]

Here. Got it from a bit research...sorry for the copy paste but this is funny.

ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film

2. Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason

3. Melts if given special treatment

4. Bitter if incorrectly used

5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore

6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances

3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason

4. Insoluble in liquids, but libido increases greatly when saturated with alcohol

5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars

2. Can be a great aid to relaxation; sure beats a hand.

3. Very effective cleaning agent. Purer specimens cooks as well.

Read more: http://www.thetfp.com/threads/adult-science-jokes.2456/#ixzz1lm7TY9CM

[gmalivuk]

Meh, funniest thing there is the "common ore" pun.

[gorcee]

In any case, posting near identical threads in more then one place is typically frowned upon, particularly when the nature of the problem lends itself well to simple googling. It probably would've been fine to ask for both together on a single thread anyway, as theres a good handful of math folk who read science, and vice versa.

I agree that there are math people who read science, but asking them for an esoteric rude science joke would be like asking an English major for an esoteric Latin joke: while the disciplines are related and the English major has dabbled in Latin, the English major will (generally) not know esoteric Latin jokes by dint of focusing mostly on the English language. Instead, I would post on the Latin forum for esoteric Latin jokes and the English forum for the esoteric English jokes.

It only looks like redundancy because you are assuming the questions are very similar. They're not.

As for "simple Googling", I didn't ask for math/science jokes which are created by bored high school students. That was easily Googled. What was not easily Googled (as I already found out) was esoteric math/science jokes which required actual thought to realize they were quite rude. Since they were not easily Googled, I went to a forum populated by thinking-brain people to ask for information from their collective memory and experience.

Ok, how about this: it's kind of annoying having two nearly similar threads floating around on two separate forums that are likely to both be read by the same demographic. Pick one, or the other. Either way, you're asking for "Rude jokes pertaining to [field with narrow and largely overlapping audience]." No one who read the first thread resisted posting because they thought, "well, this joke just isn't sciency/mathy enough".

By your logic, you should probably separate the threads into rude physics jokes, rude chemistry jokes, rude biology jokes, etc.

[UniqueScreenname]

Hey baby, I wish I was helicase so I could unzip your jeans/genes.

Hey baby, if I were a particle and you were a quantum potential, do you think I could penetrate your classically forbidden regions?

[bobbeathome]

I'm going to piggyback on the original question with a slightly different one: anybody have any clever ideas for this situation?

I'm a woman and a mathematician; I often work with a range of engineers/computer folk. Often I'm the only woman in the room. Occasionally somebody throws out a 'sciency' joke like the 'woman as element' one above. It always makes me pretty uncomfortable, and I'd like a good comeback. Something science-related, light-hearted, that makes it clear that we women scientists exist. For a bonus, if it made it clear that the sexist jokes aren't funny that would be awesome. So, anybody have any ideas?

[bigglesworth]

Meh, funniest thing there is the "common ore" pun.

Thomas Pynchon did a similar one with 'so did you have platinum blende, or just common ore?'

[Copper Bezel]

I'm going to piggyback on the original question with a slightly different one: anybody have any clever ideas for this situation?

Not really - if a "subtle" "Hey, let's not" or an "Or we could try being grownups" doesn't work, joking along definitely won't. If you start with a clever comeback, you're encouraging the behavior (because you've made a game of it, and you're playing.)

[bigglesworth]

Though to answer the question more directly - I would suggest taking sarcasm and put-down advice from the character Leslie Winkle from the Big Bang Theory show.