xkcd

by **pseudoidiot** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:40 pm UTC

My wife changed her name (mostly to avoid association with her family), but sometimes wishes she didn't. I didn't really care either way. But, almost 4 years later there's still a couple things that her name hasn't been changed on because it can be such a ridiculous hassle.

So I'd say if you want to change your name, that's fine, just be very sure it's want you want to do, because it can be a lot of work!

Further anecdote: I had a couple friends get married a while back and instead of her taking his name or hyphenating or anything, they both changed their last name to something entirely different.

by **Aaeriele** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:06 pm UTC

Add one more to the "not changing name when getting married" club.

by **lucrezaborgia** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:12 pm UTC

I was previously married and changed my name (marriage and bipolar mania are not a great combo) and I'd like to get away from that name so I'm changing my name again.

Maiden initials: SAW
1st marriage: SAD
current: SAP

by **ShortChelsea** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:13 pm UTC

We want to change it to Spoot (from the Angry Beavers) when we get married.

by **pseudoidiot** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:16 pm UTC

lucrezaborgia wrote:I was previously married and changed my name (marriage and bipolar mania are not a great combo) and I'd like to get away from that name so I'm changing my name again.

Maiden initials: SAW
1st marriage: SAD
current: SAP

The initials of the child of some friends of mine are DNA. The N is for Nazgul. The mom is a biology teacher.

by **lucrezaborgia** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:21 pm UTC

I'm way picker about first names to be honest. Back home in Miami, tons of my friends come from families where the first boy and first girl are named after mom and dad. So the boy ends up being Junior and the girl ends up being called something other than her name. What's the point?

by **Sungura** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:44 pm UTC

bluebambue wrote:Does anyone have any ideas where I could find a dress similar to this?

Film Noir dress (or something close) with a slit up the leg.

I have looked through vintage clothing stores near me, but nothing turned up.

Have you tried modcloth.com? I think I've seen stuff like that on their website.

As to name changing...It would all depend. I'm not against changing my last name but I dont feel the need to either. Probably will boil down to which last name do I like better if/when I get married.

by **podbaydoor** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:13 pm UTC

I won't change my name. It's the name that I've gotten published under and it would be professionally detrimental to switch names in the middle.

by **lanicita** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:24 am UTC

I like the idea of changing my last name, because my current last name is very obviously Jewish and I am not religious at all. It's annoying when people can tell that I am part Jewish just from knowing my last name. But the more I think about how big a pain in the butt it is to change it, the more I think maybe it wouldn't be worth it. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

by **existential_squirrrel** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:50 am UTC

I would like to keep my last name the way it is, but I also don't want to identify with my father's side of the family... none of them (save for one person) ever has spoken about me in a positive way, and that is part of why I want to get rid of it. My last name is fairly plain, but uncommon.

Hopefully, I will have a few publications to my name before I get married, but that kind of makes me want to keep my last name. I am torn between keeping it the way it is or changing it to whatever my husband's last name may be.

Name changing is a hassle in California.

by **Kithplana** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:12 am UTC

Which makes me glad I never changed mine. It was certainly convenient in the inevitable fall of that relationship. I'll most likely change mine next time around...

I mostly just posted this so I could ask what your avatar means, e_squirrel

by **Cathy** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:43 am UTC

I'm changing mine because I am absolutely not happy with keeping my father's name. Plus, I like my fiance's last name, it's nice.

I know it'll be a hassle, but it really feels good to change my name to his.

by **existential_squirrrel** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:11 am UTC

Kithplana wrote:Which makes me glad I never changed mine. It was certainly convenient in the inevitable fall of that relationship. I'll most likely change mine next time around...

I mostly just posted this so I could ask what your avatar means, e_squirrel

Kithplana-
Totally off-topic, but my avatar is the evolution of man from ape to martial artist. I should get rid of the hats and Menorah, seeing as it is not the holiday season anymore.
I celebrate Christmas as a Catholic, and I celebrate Hanukkah in memory of an uncle of mine (he married into the family, and was Jewish).

Blargh... where is shark week? It should be now, but it has yet to show its ugly head

by **lucrezaborgia** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:57 am UTC

Eh, I didn't think it was that much of a hassle. It's more of a pain to replace missing cards than to change your name. Again, you don't have to change your name on every account you have. I wouldn't bother changing the name on your phone, internet, cable, ebay, amazon, or minor accounts like that.

by **eaglewings51** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:08 am UTC

I haven't decided if I'll change my name when I get married. I have a serious boyfriend and we will probably be getting married (we're not engaged but we've talked about the future and no red flags have popped up yet) in the next one to three years. I like his last name and I was raised that the woman does change her name when she gets married. I'd like to take his name as it's kind of symbolic of leaving my family and creating a new family with my husband considering how we were both raised but yet, I love my last name and I love identifying as being in my family. I'm very proud of my last name. I've thought about doing something like this "Sierra Jensen Anderson" * with Jensen being my maiden name and Anderson being my husband's last name with my maiden name replacing my middle name. Yet, I don't like that either because my middle name is the same as my mom's middle name and I plan on giving a daughter that middle name as well if I ever have one so I'd like to keep my middle name. Then of course, there's always the possiblity of having two middle names, "Sierra Elizabeth Jensen Anderson" or hyphenating "Sierra Elizabeth Jensen-Anderson". However, that just gets complicated. I don't know.

In other news, shark week is scheduled to arrive in about 8 days. Part of me is like "Oh yay, another shark week" :roll:

But part of my is a little excited because I'll get to try out my new Diva cup!

*not my real name

by **Plasmic-Turtle** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:19 am UTC

Blood donations during shark week = bad

It was only my 3rd donation ever, and been a while since I've done it, but the 1st two times I had no issues whatsoever. Today... 5 hrs later and I'm still feeling super-tired and out of sorts. My blood pressure reading about 10 mins following donation was only 80/50: they measured it as the colour drained from my face and they were worried. A nurse told me that they'd already had "8 down and 2 incontinence episodes" today... wtf? Incontinence? Is that a thing with blood donation? Or did she mean that they peed themselves when they fainted?

Also, what confuses me about there being any association with shark week (presuming that IS the case), is that... wouldn't the lining being built up require blood anyway, and it not take much extra to then flush it out at shark week? Or does your body have to produce a bunch extra blood for the flushing out process? They did not teach me this stuff during animal biology classes damn it! Light-headed sleepiness is not conducive to writing the expression of research interests I've gotta do ASAP for a PhD application. On the positive side, my blood type's usable by 35% of the population and I got one of these small blood-drop soft toys for looking so pathetic! (I'm scared of needles, too).

pseudoidiot wrote:The initials of the child of some friends of mine are DNA. The N is for Nazgul. The mom is a biology teacher.

Is that very cool or very not cool? I'm undecided. I guess they'll just have to hope the kid's similarly a biology and LotR fan...

mochafairy wrote:I did not change my last name. Like PictureSarah, it hasn't really been a problem, but my grandparents refuse to acknolwdge that I didn't change my last name. They continue to mail me things with the name "Mrs. <Mr. Mocha's last name>" and every time I try to explain that I didn't change my last name, they act like it's the biggest scandal EVER, like I've just doomed us all to WWIII, the zombie apocalypse, and the death of the internet (these are probably not the terrible things they have in mind, but this is the scale as seen by me).

LOL at the zombie apocalypse and death of the internet! Yes, I suspect this isn't the sort of things your grandparents have in mind... That must get so annoying for you though.

I'm another vote for not changing my name. It just really erks me how in my parents' generation (and still now to some extent), Mr P.J. Peterson and Miss E.L. Jones post-marriage would receive letters addressed to "Mr and Mrs P.J. Peterson", OR, even worse, when the woman is referred to as Mrs P.J. Peterson all the time in all other forms of communication also. Like a storage trunk in my bedroom with my grandmother's writing on it labelled the equivalent of 'Mrs P.J. Peterson, blah blah address', meaning my aunty. ...like, what just happened to the woman's identity? Taking the husband's surname, fine, but what about her first names?! Is her only identity now as his Mrs, like some form of extra appendage? *shudder*

by **Angua** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:38 am UTC

Think of it as your body makes new tissue, but doesn't really make extra blood. You don't really need that much extra blood to go the extra half an inch or so into the tissue, but you need to have extra blood vessels to help get it there. So, when you're on Shark Week, your body is shedding the extra tissue, and the bleeding is from these new blood vessels being exposed. Then you have to make more blood during the rest of the month to make up for what you lost - not because you need extra.

So,
have right amount of blood for all body stuff -> menstruate where you accidentally lose blood -> make new blood after menstruation

rather than
make new blood in case of baby -> get rid of extra blood

Make sense?

by **Sungura** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:40 am UTC

Spoilered for maybe tmi but probably not

Spoiler:

by **Plasmic-Turtle** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:52 am UTC

Angua, that makes lots of sense! Thank you so much for your explanation.

Snug, I'm afraid I have no helpful knowledge or advice to offer, but I have (((HUGS))), lots of them. *hugs*

by **Sungura** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:31 am UTC

follow up..

Spoiler:

by **GraphiteGirl** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:08 am UTC

I really don't know what I want to do with my name. I am more attached to my mother's maiden name than my current name, which is associated with my dad, but I already have a couple of (really small, tiny) writing credits under my name and now my first directing credit, and I think I want to keep it for professional reasons. But the boyfriend and I have also discussed the idea of perhaps wanting one unified family name for kids, so options include blending our names or coming up with a new one, or borrowing a name from earlier generations of our family - I feel really weird about the idea of just taking his name, as it seems to me rather like being absorbed into his family, as opposed to starting our own.

by **Amie** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:24 am UTC

Lots of *hugs* for Amy.
Spoilered for rant/ramble about unexpected periods that you may not want to read about right now.

Spoiler:

by **poxic** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:38 am UTC

AAAAAAGGHHH pads should be required default emergency office supplies from the local HR person, and/or the first aid attendant. We are bleedin' (so to speak) lucky that our office building has free pads and tampons in the women's can. Pull the knob on the metal doohickey and you get a free period-deal-with-it-now item.

The same dispensers have been around here for a long time, but you used to have to remember to bring a $0.25 coin with you to get one. Now they're free, at least in this building, since $0.25 won't cover the cost anymore and because no one wants to put in a bloody dollar coin to get a cheap crummy pad or tampon.

At least they're there. No other building I've worked in had this option. Some had pay-for-pad options, including public facilities in shopping malls. Those are kind of scary in some ways, though. (Public toilets taught me to 1. grab toilet paper and 2. wipe the seat. This proves that 1. there is paper and 2. the seat is now not wet.

)

by **existential_elevator** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:43 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:follow up..
Spoiler:
been doing some research tonight...apparently possible causes:
- Mirena running out of hormone early (not likely, this more likley 3+ years after insertion)
- Ovarian cyst
- who knows wtf go to the doctor

....tl/dr should probably go to a doctor. Well that's not going to be possible for another month. I can get local temp insurance next month. Figures. I have rarely ever needed insurance and the time I need it is during the ~2 months I dont have anything but emergency coverage

*hugs*, but also mainly to say

Spoiler:

On the work-based period ambush... we have vending machines in the downstairs loos, but they are in a public place which is kind of awkward. Since I'm so goddamned irregular, I'm generally in the habit of having emergency supplies on me at all times :/ Except when I'm not, but you know. When I was a youngling and these things caught me by surprise in school (where there was no vending machines and you obviously couldn't pop out at lunch) I used to make temporary pad-like things from toilet paper and resolve to change them often. Same principle, just much less efficient.

by **Sungura** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:42 pm UTC

existential_elevator wrote:
Sungura wrote:follow up..
Spoiler:
been doing some research tonight...apparently possible causes:
- Mirena running out of hormone early (not likely, this more likley 3+ years after insertion)
- Ovarian cyst
- who knows wtf go to the doctor

....tl/dr should probably go to a doctor. Well that's not going to be possible for another month. I can get local temp insurance next month. Figures. I have rarely ever needed insurance and the time I need it is during the ~2 months I dont have anything but emergency coverage

*hugs*, but also mainly to say

Spoiler:
Don't panic too much yet. If you've been under life stress, irregularity like this is sometimes a thing that just happens. I'm job stressed at the moment and seem to have largely been bleeding since new year (well, so far for 4 weeks on and off this year) - but then, that is a thing I already know about my own plumbing, which is why I don't worry so much. As long as you feel otherwise fine, it is likely to be a blip. They do happen. This all comes with the "I am not a doctor" warning, of course, but just to bear in mind that it is perfectly normal to have... unusual cycles. As I understand, you get stressed, don't ovulate, and suddenly an extra period. My advice is to knock back the appropriate vitamin supplements and roll with it, try not to be stressed about this too, and chat with a doctor when you can if you're still worried.

Spoiler:

by **lucrezaborgia** » Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:41 am UTC

My uni charges 10 cents for tampons and pads. I didn't know they had machines that went that low! I think they do this just so people don't steal them.

by **Sprocket** » Fri Feb 24, 2012 3:48 pm UTC

My insides feel like a gelatinous soup, I feel mildly nauseous and a bit on the shakey side. I feel like I'm really hungry and don't want to put any thing in my body at the same time. I haven't had it this bad in a long time. I want to eat a chicken, or a whole bag of spinach.

Shark Week is 8 days late. I haven't had sex in moths. My body is just annoying sometimes.

by **Alder** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:03 pm UTC

Peculiar rant to follow. I've been called crazy for feeling this way this weekend, but at least I know *that* won't be said here. It's about the colour of my hair, and what people call it. It's a bit huge, but clearly I've been bottling it up...

Spoiler:

I'm kind of short, and overweight, and wear glasses, and generally don't feel terribly attractive. But there's one thing about myself I love, and that's my hair. It's a lovely dark, coppery red (too long at the moment!). When I started getting grey hairs it actually made me depressed, but fortunately I have a hairdresser friend who understands how much I love my hair and goes to great trouble to match my natural colour while making the grey ones disappear.

I love being a redhead.

I hate being called "a ginger".

I hate it because it takes the one thing I really love about myself and makes it sound ugly. I hate it because it's new slang that's appeared in the last decade or so, but is now *everywhere*, and because some redheads use it too, then that apparently makes it fine for everyone to use it. I hate it because it's used as an insult or snidely as often as it's used without malice. (I saw something just yesterday about someone having "GINGER" yelled at them randomly out of a car. Try yelling "redhead" at someone out a car without sounding as if it's actually a compliment...) I hate the physical sound of the word. I even hate the spice, though that's hardly relevant... :roll:

I hate it because it seems to be impossible to explain why it annoys me so much. It was never used when I was growing up, or when my parents were growing up. (To quote my mum: "No, they were always just 'redheads'. And there were plenty of them..." - we're in Scotland, which explains that last bit!)

I wish I could explain how bad it makes me feel about myself. It came up in a conversation with an online friend yesterday and she just couldn't understand what the problem was. I'm usually pretty articulate, so now I *also* feel bad that I couldn't express myself properly (it's not that I need her to agree, she can still think I'm overreacting/eccentric if she wants, but I hate that I left her not understanding how I felt about it). In fact, she equated it with her disliking the word 'brunette', which she heard for the first time on Friends, but no-one else has a problem with it. <insert headdesk here>

Totally irrelevant bit about origins 'cause I looked them up this morning in sheer irritation: Brunette comes to us from German, via French, from the word 'brun' meaning 'brown'. Blonde comes to us from from the Latin 'blundus' meaning 'yellow'. Both are about 400 years old. 'Redhead' we came up with ourselves adding 'red' and 'head' together in a terribly original fashion. It's even older.
'Ginger' comes to us from the spice, which probably originated in Sanskrit and means...'horn body'. Om nom nom....

Don't take this bit seriously. I actually thought it was kind of funny.

Anyway, this was all triggered yesterday by a post where a guy said that he's the opposite and "hates when ginger folk try to say their hair is strawberry blonde, or 'it's not ginger, it's scarlet'." And he totally has a ginger best friend who thinks the same. And that I should be "ginger and proud". <boaks quietly in the corner>
And it doesn't help when well-meaning folk say things like, "But I love ginger hair!". I love my hair too, thanks. Just...don't call it that, at least not around me if you absolutely have to use it for some reason. Please.

So today I'm feeling a bit horrible generally partly from the disagreement with my pal, partly because I feel under siege by a word, dunno how that works, and partly because I'm pretty sure I have some kind of virus working on me. I have to work in about an hour, and I just feel sad. I couldn't think of anywhere else to put this that it would be safe.

Anyway, that's the most times I've had to type what-I-think-of-as-that-horrible-word-but-other-folk-are-fine-with and I hope it's months before I have to do it again. Bah. And humbug.

by **Plasmic-Turtle** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:36 pm UTC

Alder wrote:I hate it because it's new slang that's appeared in the last decade or so, but is now *everywhere*, and because some redheads use it too, then that apparently makes it fine for everyone to use it.

I'm really not being helpful, but you made me think of Tim Minchin's song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

But anyway, I think you explained your annoyance perfectly articulately. And the word 'ginger' certainly couldn't describe a lovely dark coppery red hair (paprika, perhaps? sorry, I'm in a silly mood). You don't sound even a teensy bit crazy. Unfortunately I don't have any amazing solutions for how to deal with the population who uses it insultingly, and heck, if there were something that could be done about the people who like to randomly harass pedestrians from their car windows I'm sure we'd all love to hear it! :-/
Nevertheless, your rant has been heard and appreciated, if that helps at all?

by **Alder** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:51 pm UTC

Plasmic-Turtle wrote:
Alder wrote:I hate it because it's new slang that's appeared in the last decade or so, but is now *everywhere*, and because some redheads use it too, then that apparently makes it fine for everyone to use it.

I'm really not being helpful, but you made me think of Tim Minchin's song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

But anyway, I think you explained your annoyance perfectly articulately. And the word 'ginger' certainly couldn't describe a lovely dark coppery red hair (paprika, perhaps? sorry, I'm in a silly mood). You don't sound even a teensy bit crazy. Unfortunately I don't have any amazing solutions for how to deal with the population who uses it insultingly, and heck, if there were something that could be done about the people who like to randomly harass pedestrians from their car windows I'm sure we'd all love to hear it! :-/
Nevertheless, your rant has been heard and appreciated, if that helps at all?

Oh man, I wish beyond everything that I'd had that link last night! aaaaahahaha...

Aye, it's supposed to be funny, but the stuff he's talking about in the process is the stuff that annoys me about other folk using it! (Plus in a few of the comments there's folk - who I assume are redheads themselves - trying to explain the problem. Wheeeee, I am not alone!!)

So yes, you have helped by acknowledging my rantification. Thank you.

by **meridian** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:54 pm UTC

Thank goodness for dark trousers, two layers of pants (winter!), and a divacup in my purse. I was silly not to wear something in anticipation, but everything will be okay.

by **Cathy** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 1:12 am UTC

Job interview monday! I love the way tech jobs respond, email is fast! I send a resume, they send a response. Yay!

Plants are growing lovely.

Married in a week!! Oh my gosh!

by **The EGE** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:07 am UTC

Cathy wrote:Married in a week!! Oh my gosh!

My parents are celebrating their 30th this week. I hope your marriage is just as long and happy as theirs.

by **Isotope_238** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 1:21 pm UTC

Good luck and happy wishes, Cathy!

by **Sprocket** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:57 am UTC

I just put my measurements into two "body type" calculators

http://www.calculator.net/body-type-calculator.html
Body Type Calculator
Results
Sorry your body is not in the 4 shapes we calculate.

http://www.shopyourshape.com/calculate- ... shape.html
Your body type is: Unavailable
A very small percentage of women do not fall into any of the 8 body type categories. We are sorry that we cannot match your body type at this time. Please visit our Main Body Shapes page and find the description that most closely matches your body shape to find fashion advice that will help you learn how to dress your body shape.

For both of these I put in my bra size, 36", not my actual measurement of 34" (I can't wear a 34" bra even kind of, they DO NOT fit), but it's still hysterical that somehow these two sites both have a range that isn't covered!? Weird.

by **Hofstadter'sLaw** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:58 am UTC

Plasmic-Turtle wrote:Blood donations during shark week = bad

It was only my 3rd donation ever, and been a while since I've done it, but the 1st two times I had no issues whatsoever. Today... 5 hrs later and I'm still feeling super-tired and out of sorts. My blood pressure reading about 10 mins following donation was only 80/50: they measured it as the colour drained from my face and they were worried. A nurse told me that they'd already had "8 down and 2 incontinence episodes" today... wtf? Incontinence? Is that a thing with blood donation? Or did she mean that they peed themselves when they fainted?

Also, what confuses me about there being any association with shark week (presuming that IS the case), is that... wouldn't the lining being built up require blood anyway, and it not take much extra to then flush it out at shark week? Or does your body have to produce a bunch extra blood for the flushing out process? They did not teach me this stuff during animal biology classes damn it! Light-headed sleepiness is not conducive to writing the expression of research interests I've gotta do ASAP for a PhD application. On the positive side, my blood type's usable by 35% of the population and I got one of these small blood-drop soft toys for looking so pathetic! (I'm scared of needles, too).

Thanks for donating blood despite your fear of needles! I wish I could do it—can’t because of medications I’m on.

Did you happen to be dehydrated at all before/after donating? I’ve had to go to the doctor and have four five vials of blood taken a zillion times (not a ton of blood, but not a tiny bit either). The only time I got dizzy and felt tired afterwards was one time that I had an early morning appointment and overslept. I forgot to get something to drink while eating breakfast since I was rushing, so I was very dehydrated.

by **paulisa** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:27 am UTC

Sprocket wrote:http://www.shopyourshape.com/calculate- ... shape.html

rant:

Spoiler:

by **Sungura** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:52 pm UTC

I am attempting sewing from a pattern. It is not going so well. I am confused often. I dont follow the pattern logic. Its like some secret code I swear. I liked sewing a lot but that was when I was making my own stuff...designing from the pattern up. But I dont know how to design a dress pattern and have nothing to follow for it (made shorts and pants, but that was simple, used clothes I owned to copy from). I swear they leave out steps that show up ages later "oooh I was supposed to do /that/!??! why didn't you say so??!?!". It's worse than Ikea instructions!

Any hints/tips trickses? I'm bumbling along blind here and half making it up as I go. They talk about things...I look them up and I go "oooh okay thank you Internet I know how to do that already" but the instructions arn't clear enough for /how/ I'm supposed to do it where...etc etc.

...and I picked a pattern ranked "EASY". >_<

I have designed patterns and made my own corsets which are supposedly "very hard" to do. Why can't I follow an "easy" pattern?!?!

Any good sewers here that can give me a hint as to how these patterns have any logic to them whatsoever?

by **Cathy** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:09 pm UTC

Something I read said basting basting basting and something about leaving extra room for seams when you cut the cloth. Or something.

Also, thank you all for the good wishes!

by **Isotope_238** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:24 pm UTC

I generally run into that same problem. (except I don't have the spatial ability to design my own patterns. admiration tinged with envy!)
I could try to help if you posted or PM'ed the specific step(s) that you're having trouble with, though.

Who is online