*Hugs black dynamite*
Hey everyone. I'm a 17 year old androgyne. I'm pansexual. But I kind of associate with being a girl a bit more... despite being physically a boy. It's where I wish I was born a girl, but I can live with being a boy. I don't know if I plan on getting a sex change in the future, and I still have to think about it some more.
But that can wait. I have some more basic issues to deal with right now that are bothering me far more.
I'm still in the closet to pretty much everyone I know, save for three close friends of mine (and the internet). I'm fairly open about my sexuality on the internet, as most of my friends don't visit the same sites I do and such. But I want to come out to my school. I'm fairly certain everything will go fine there, and that's not worrying me to much.
What is worrying me is my parents.
I don't know how to tell them. I think they'll accept me for who I am, which is good. But I'm worried that they won't take me seriously.
So I want some advice. What do you think would be the easiest way to tell them? Come out to my school and wait for them to hear it from someone else? I mean, that would force me to come out to them, which is really the biggest obstacle for me. I can't get the courage to tell them to their faces. Should I just tell them I'm gay right before I head to school or something? That way it's abrupt and I don't have to face them for several hours... and that would probably be easier to tell them directly. Or should I have them sit down and explain to them that there's a very good chance (I prefer men, but it's more of a 60-40 split) that I will never have a wife?
What do you guys think makes the most sense? I feel like just telling them and running away for a bit might be the easiest for me to do.
And then after that... how do I get them to not joke about it? My parents already tease me about girls they think I like, which is annoying enough since nobody believes me when I say I'm not attracted to them. Between them and my sister and brother... my brother would think I'm doing it for attention, my sister would think I have a crush on the few guys who are my friends (none of which I find attractive)... I think it would just be really hard on me. Should I just wait until college? It's not like there's anyone I'd like to ask out at my school. I could wait I guess. It's just been bothering me and I really DO want to come out.
Also, about the feministic characteristics thing, I think that it's to each their own. Do I skip, like rainbows, and enjoy kittens? Yes. Does that mean that I'm going to go around school wearing flamboyant dresses? No... I think were I a girl I would have been a tomboy. Although two of my friends (girls) are going to prom in tuxedos next year, and I'm considering going in a dress just for the fun of it (assuming I came out by then), I wouldn't wear dresses on a daily basis. It's part of my whole androgyne mentality I guess. I don't like associating things as male or female. To each their own really. I don't/wouldn't wear dresses regularly because I honestly find jeans and a t-shirt comfortable.
And the characteristic thing kind of bothers me too. If I shaved my legs and the rest of my body I'd get so much crap from my classmates it would be insane. I'm waiting until after I come out to shave everywhere, just to satisfy their crude social stigmas. Right now I just shave in the places nobody ever notices... e.g. half of my armpits (I can get away with just the hair coming from my arm), my tits and chest (didn't start growing chest hair until after I started shaving, so people just think I never started growing chest hair), pubic areas, and my butt. And my face too, although that one people did notice. For obvious reasons.
Honestly that's one of the biggest reasons I want to come out, because my hair annoys me to no end.
There's also the whole long hair thing, people give me gripe because my hair is 12 inches. That's not even half as long as I'd like it to be.