One last question for all the anti-pua regulars:
Why is it that I've observed growing up that the men who "played the game" were the ones who were successful with women, but the guys who talked to girls like human beings had no luck whatsoever?
Note: You is the generic "you" and is not referring to anyone in particular.
I don't know, I seem to think that guys who talk to human beings are pretty "lucky" for given values of luck. They're probably getting laid all the time, because most nice guys who treat human beings like human beings are usually taken. For some reason, women love being in long term relationships with guys who talk to them like human beings. These nice guys aren't part of this "sexual marketplace". So who is left available in the "sexual marketplace"? Assholes. And you. And damn are those assholes getting laid more than you. So not fair. You're a better piece of genetic diversity, a mere whiff of your major histocompatibilty complex differences should maker her lizard brain forever surrender and have your babies.
But no, it's these assholes that get to sleep with these hot girls. Of course it's these assholes that sleep with those hot girls that you're attracted to. Now one of the solutions to the problem might be to look around and maybe see that there are a couple of nice girls that might be attracted to you. But you don't know about them, they're kind of unattractive, don't take care of themselves, and make you uncomfortable. You don't want to sleep with them. You're more concerned with that super hot woman that would make great friends and you'd rather just be around her and be her friend because her presence is just so intoxicating. But she'd rather have you as a friend and talk to you about all of her relationship problems and all the jerks she's dating and why can't she see you-you're right there-just waiting and so perfect for her! Those movies and tv, they tell you, that if you're just persistent enough, if you just hang around long enough, you too can get the girl! But that never ends up happening. She keeps dating jerk after jerk and when you finally get up enough courage to maybe ask her or a date or something, anything more she drops you with a single sentence. "I just want to be friends". And keeps dating assholes that may inflame her desires but don't make the least bit of common sense. She ignores men that respect her. Hold her in high regard. Are compatible with her. For assholes.
And you think, do I have to be an asshole too? You don't want to be an asshole, but assholes get the girl and you really really want to get the girl. You think your life will change if you are just finally able to get the girl. You're worried everyone thinks you're a loser because you've never gotten the girl and the message you hear, constantly is you're not a man unless you get the girl. You question your manliness. You want to be able to feel manly.You want society to think you're manly. Manly men get all the girls, but you're not thought of as manly until you start getting the girls. Chicken and egg. Your social brain is telling you to fuck. Your lizard brain is telling you to fuck. Your rational brain is telling you, well, yeah, okay, go along with them and get your fuck on.
OF COURSE ASSHOLES GET THE GIRL
That's what they do. That's what they're out for. They're getting all of the chicks and fucking them and not calling back the next day while they sob into their pillows telling you about the jerk that she really liked that didn't call back. You don't want to be that. These assholes view women as practically nothing but a masturbatory aid, and they will say anything and do anything and tell their lies to get women into bed. Women get hurt as a result. You like women, you respect women, and you don't want to hurt them. But it seems that's the only way they'll sleep with you!
So you start looking at what the assholes are doing to pick up women. They seem to pick up women in clubs, in bars, even just right off the street. So you're taught, no, don't speak to her rational brain, it's the lizard brain that you have to convince. It's the lizard brain that wants the sex. It's the lizard brain that will make her want to jump into bed with you with no regard to the consequences, because honestly, the lizard brain really really wants sex. So you learn to speak to the lizard brain. You learn how to shoot down objections from the rational brain. You inflame her desires while not necessarily appealing to common sense. In fact, you commonly and consistently shoot down her rational brain's objections to sleeping with you, because you know it's her lizard brain in charge of making the decision anyway. This is what jerks do. This are the behaviors you emulate because you just want to get a girl.
And lo! You get them. You get girls numbers, you're more "successful". Maybe you even take one home and sleep with them. Your hypothesis has been proven. Only assholes get the girls, so you have to act like an asshole to get these girls.
Now, there's nothing wrong with appealing to the lizard brain. It's when you deliberately
try to get past these women's rational brain barriers and appeal solely to their lizard brain. Sometime their rational brain centers match up perfectly with their lizard brain. You go home, have a fun time, everybody's happy. But sometimes the lizard brain and the rational brain aren't so in sync. Sometimes the rational brain is a little impaired and can't restrain the lizard brain as much as it used to (like with alcohol).
Now we'll reintroduce another part of the brain, the social brain. Your social brain is the part of your brain that's dedicated to interactions with other people. Women have a pretty big social brain and one of it's tasks is to avoid conflict. Women are conditioned from a very early age that conflict is bad and should be avoided at all costs. This is not a personal thing, it's an instinctual social thing (weak members of the group were able to survive by not making the strong members of the group angry) compounded by current social conditioning. Now while you're inflaming the desires of her lizard brain, you're making her slightly uncomfortable to turn on her social brain. This will activate classic conflict avoidance behaviors; you're hoping for "people pleasing" and "giving in". So her lizard brain wants sex, her social brain is thinking about whether or not she's safe and her rational brain is trying to synthesize all these inputs and it's own ideas into whether or not she wants to go home with you. There's still a chance that you won't get the conflict avoidance behaviors you want from her social brain, she might just leave. Her lizard brain might not think you're sexy. Her rational brain might think it's a bad idea. It's okay, you'll move on, and try it on the next girl.
This is where the moral outrage comes in. That's predatory behavior when you look at it. You have a formula and you're on the prowl. You keep using it until it sparks just the right brain condition in some woman to get her to sleep with you. You do not care if she is making the wrong decision because you believe that she is empowered enough to make her own decisions. Even if she doesn't know you're deliberately messing with the parts of her brain that would get her to sleep with you.
But she does know that you're deliberately messing with parts of her brain, that's what the game is. She should have known. Women play the game to get stuff, men play the game to get laid. That's just how it is. These manipulative behaviors are only a response to women's own manipulations of men. All's fair in love.
Okay. Now I will posit that certain manipulative (mate-guarding, etc) behaviors in ancient women arose from the same reproductive drive that shaped those different (but still manipulative) behaviors in ancient men. In a previous era (not that long ago, sadly) women weren't even able to own property. It makes sense that certain behaviors would be favorable for their survival. Being able to keep a man. Making sure his resources were not diverted to another family/mistress so it was her offspring that benefitted most from whatever the man was able to provide. A behavior that would make sure someone stronger wouldn't kill/beat her by maybe offering the offender sex would have turned out to be a behavior that persisted, since women with that behavior would tend to be the ones to reproduce and make more offspring with the conflict avoidant social brain feature. So really, these manipulations started out as behaviors as a response to sexist behavior by ancient assholes throughout the eras, but for and example, we'll focus on those assholes that would beat their wives if they were displeased and it was in fact thought their right to do so (also not too long ago). What behaviors would be most useful to women in this situation? Avoid conflict. Please her husband. Don't get beat up. Don't die. Live long enough to have babies. But the conflict avoidant behavior also means that she'll let him have sex with her more often? "Giving in" is one of the conflict avoidance strategies she's learned. And there's no such thing as birth control at this point. So this behavior not only promotes not dying in the avoiding getting fatally beat up kind of way, which is a pretty important drive for an organism, and would be selected for evolutionarily like, obviously. But the behavior of just letting him have sex with her would have also been selected for, because it was those women that ended up reproducing. So this is a behavior that evolution just loves, it makes sure the organism doesn't die AND it provides for a mechanism for the propagation of the species.
Evolution does not care about morals. It is not a moral process. But we evolved a sense of morality for a reason.Holy shit wall of text I'm stopping here for now.
argyl3: My idea of being a rebel is splitting infinitives.
Alisto: Rebel without a clause?