xkcd

by **Ronsonic** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 4:36 pm UTC

Despite having never felt the urge to key a car, I wanna be beret guy.

by **neoliminal** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:08 pm UTC

This is not surrealism. It's more like modern literalism.

by **XTCamus** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:15 pm UTC

SirMustapha wrote:
Invisiblemoose wrote:Because character-driven humor works so well for XKCD.

End of thread.

~~P.S.: its saddening that in these forums Dadaism = Surrealism = Random Shit. People here could learn a lot from "Liberal Arts Majors", it seems~~.

FTFY

by **Cervisiae Amatorem** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:26 pm UTC

It seems our beloved artist ran out of ideas today. The whole premise is a bad pun with silliness tacked on? I'll let it slide because of the brilliance of his oeuvre. Everybody has an off day.

This is the only webcomic I read habitually. I've checked hundreds of others sporadically as I stumble across them in the internets; they usually contain one gem in a sea of rubbish. Randall on the other hand has set such a consistently high bar for himself that the slightest misstep stands out like a turd on the carpet.

I'm expecting a return to good things on Monday.

by **MonkeyBoy** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:15 pm UTC

I found the main comic only slightly amusing, but I laughed out loud at the alt text -- possibly because my band, much to my chagrin, has recently started covering that song, which I lovingly refer to as "Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Dates Someone With Poor Impulse Control."

by **ubikuberalles** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:20 pm UTC

SirMustapha wrote:People here could learn a lot from "Liberal Arts Majors", it seems.

I doubt it. If a Liberal Arts major tried to school me (a dyed in the wool nerd) I would walk away confused not understanding a word he said.

by **SirMustapha** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:32 pm UTC

ubikuberalles wrote:
SirMustapha wrote:People here could learn a lot from "Liberal Arts Majors", it seems.

I doubt it. If a Liberal Arts major tried to school me (a dyed in the wool nerd) I would walk away confused not understanding a word he said.

Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? Some things can only be known for sure once we try them out.

Thing is, the biggest lesson I have learnt is to, before I start talking about something (say Dadaism or Surrealism), read at least the first paragraph of the corresponding Wikipedia article to make sure I'm not making an ass out of myself. Sounding like an asshole is ok, but like an ass, never.

by **babble** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:42 pm UTC

ubikuberalles wrote:
SirMustapha wrote:People here could learn a lot from "Liberal Arts Majors", it seems.

I doubt it. If a Liberal Arts major tried to school me (a dyed in the wool nerd) I would walk away confused not understanding a word he said.

not sure nerd means what you think it means. it's not restricted to science as far as i know. also not sure liberal arts means what you think it means. arithmetic & geometry are liberal arts. actually, if xkcd would give in and change 'liberal arts' to 'humanities' that would remove 50% of what i find so annoying about it.
also, that would only happen if you were deliberately refusing to listen.

by **Sprocket** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:48 pm UTC

I want someone to mail me a scone!

by **Katifer Dragonite** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:15 pm UTC

Guys, you realise that Randall never said 'surrealist' in this comic, right? I believe that the technical term (by which I mean trope) for Beret Guy would be 'Cloudcuckoolander' - someone who does weird things just because that's who he is, and he doesn't understand what's wrong with that.

by **Adam H** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:18 pm UTC

Tyrannosaur wrote:
RocketRick wrote:
webdude wrote:It could have been worse. He could have driven her car to the western end of Florida and left it there.

Or the eastern end. You know, if he wanted to "Key" the car.

I'm pretty sure the Florida Keys are at the southern end...

Just leave it in georgia and say you started keying her car but got bored.

by **SecondTalon** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:34 pm UTC

MonkeyBoy wrote:I found the main comic only slightly amusing, but I laughed out loud at the alt text -- possibly because my band, much to my chagrin, has recently started covering that song, which I lovingly refer to as "Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Dates Someone With Poor Impulse Control."

... yeah, that's a better name for the song.

by **Роберт** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:40 pm UTC

SexyTalon wrote:
MonkeyBoy wrote:I found the main comic only slightly amusing, but I laughed out loud at the alt text -- possibly because my band, much to my chagrin, has recently started covering that song, which I lovingly refer to as "Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Dates Someone With Poor Impulse Control."

... yeah, that's a better name for the song.

I'd certainly give any song with that title a chance. You guys should start playing "Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Dates Someone With Poor Impulse Control" instead. I'm sure you don't need to change too much of the lyrics. Look up parody laws, I'm sure it'll be legal somehow and I want this to happen.

by **Paulmichael** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:57 pm UTC

djuna wrote:Is it just me who always assumed Beret was female? This messed with the voice I have going in my head for them

Females are usually given longish hair in the world of XKCD I think.

by **San Fran Sam** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:24 pm UTC

webdude wrote:It could have been worse. He could have driven her car to the western end of Florida and left it there.

I don't get it. What does leaving the car in Pensacola mean?

Oh, you meant the southern end of Florida.

Or did you rotate your map 90 degrees clockwise and still associate the top of the map with North?

Fish. :mrgreen:

by **webdude** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:35 pm UTC

Adam H wrote:
Tyrannosaur wrote:
RocketRick wrote:
webdude wrote:It could have been worse. He could have driven her car to the western end of Florida and left it there.

Or the eastern end. You know, if he wanted to "Key" the car.

I'm pretty sure the Florida Keys are at the southern end...

Just leave it in georgia and say you started keying her car but got bored.

Technically, Pensacola, on Florida's panhandle, is the westernmost widely-known city in Florida (there are some smaller localities west of Pensacola). Visually, that's not as evocative of the "end" of Florida as the keys; the boundary between Florida and Alabama is not geographically significant. "Southern Florida," to most folks, means Miami and the surrounding area. "Key West" is widely known, hence my use of "western end" to evoke the idea of the Florida keys.

To get bored, you'd have to go to the opposite end of the U.S. (i.e. the NW, as opposed to the SE). See: Lat. 45.45, Long. -122.32

by **pareidolon** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:42 pm UTC

I do hope this inspires a small band of self-exploring nerds to "key" Carrie Underwood's car.

by **J Thomas** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:52 pm UTC

notgm wrote:every single one of your comics makes me so sad, as they send a stark reminder that none of us understands any other one of us.

Yes, it's so sad. I know just what you mean.

by **Dr. Diaphanous** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:06 pm UTC

babble wrote:not sure nerd means what you think it means. it's not restricted to science as far as i know. also not sure liberal arts means what you think it means. arithmetic & geometry are liberal arts.

What are the illiberal arts then?

by **JimsMaher** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:49 pm UTC

neoliminal wrote:This is not surrealism. It's more like modern literalism.

Cheers.

According to literalism, 'what' is said is less important than 'how' it is said.
According to comedy, 'that' you laugh is more important than 'why' you laugh.
Ergo, this comic is "literally" funny.

by **Clayh** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:04 pm UTC

glasnt wrote:Pretty sure that's a minor offence, he could get into bad treble.

jpk wrote:Very clef-er.

Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

by **MonkeyBoy** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:09 pm UTC

Роберт wrote:You guys should start playing "Maybe Next Time He'll Think Before He Dates Someone With Poor Impulse Control" instead.

I usually toss out that line just after the song ends. It typically gets a better response from men than women, go figure.

My favorite part of the song, from a comedy perspective, is the line about "she's probably singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke." The levels of irony are just staggering. Note to women who identify strongly with this song: if you respond to your boyfriend's infidelity by committing felony-level damage to his vehicle; and you deliberately do it in a way that leaves clear evidence it was you; and later, after careful consideration, not only do you not feel it was an ill-advised, disproportionate response, but you're so proud of yourself that you go on to write a country song bragging about it... well, then let's just say maybe next time you should think before you go calling other people white trash.

by **11rcombs** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:29 pm UTC

That's obviously not an automotive key, but it's not an SC-1 or any Best key. I've got to wonder which keyway it is.

by **Djehutynakht** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:30 pm UTC

Hm... I wonder if money could be made selling peel-off key stickers. I'd genuinely enjoy seeing a car with one.

by **JesseScottOwen** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:00 am UTC

There are questions as to the significance of the scones. One person replied that it could just as well have been lug nuts, as Beret Guy/Girl likes them both equally. But for a reader with no context, throwing scones has a [more] positive connotation, and throwing lug nuts seems more like a negative action. I think I'm giving up dating.

by **jpk** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:10 am UTC

SirMustapha wrote:I always thought Java was a functional language. I can't say I'm very picky about what term I use, though.

Um, no. That's one of the annoying things about it: no first-class functions.

by **Arancaytar** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:26 am UTC

Then he mailed me a scone

Well at least it wasn't a bobcat.

(Though that'd be more up BHG's than Beret's alley.)

by **SirMustapha** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:41 pm UTC

jpk wrote:
SirMustapha wrote:I always thought Java was a functional language. I can't say I'm very picky about what term I use, though.

Um, no. That's one of the annoying things about it: no first-class functions.

You are aware that I was deliberately talking bullshit, aren't you?

by **jpk** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:19 pm UTC

SirMustapha wrote:
jpk wrote:
SirMustapha wrote:I always thought Java was a functional language. I can't say I'm very picky about what term I use, though.

Um, no. That's one of the annoying things about it: no first-class functions.

You are aware that I was deliberately talking bullshit, aren't you?

I can never tell when it's deliberate...

by **BlitzGirl** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:53 pm UTC

11rcombs wrote:That's obviously not an automotive key, but it's not an SC-1 or any Best key. I've got to wonder which keyway it is.

I wondered this, too. Then I wondered about the different keys people might use to key cars - are cars keyed by car keys? Or house keys? Or mail keys?

by **MonkeyBoy** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:19 pm UTC

BlitzGirl wrote:I wondered this, too. Then I wondered about the different keys people might use to key cars - are cars keyed by car keys? Or house keys? Or mail keys?

I would think the answer would be either "whichever key seems the most destructive" or "whichever key I can access fastest," depending in the keyer's circumstances and priorities.

by **Kit.** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:53 pm UTC

SirMustapha wrote:I always thought Java was a functional language.

Java is a dysfunctional language.

by **da Doctah** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 11:09 pm UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:Hm... I wonder if money could be made selling peel-off key stickers. I'd genuinely enjoy seeing a car with one.

I'll bet the "ribbons for a cause" people would jump all over this idea.

by **mric** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 11:50 pm UTC

I am a little puzzled. This would only appear to be funny if the actions of beret guy didn't constitute significant damage to the car, but rather something whimsically analogous to the damage of keying. However, painting a key on the side of the car is just as damaging to the paintwork as actually keying it - you still need to get at least one whole panel resprayed. Unlike the character in the alt text, I come to the conclusion that white beret guy is both vindictively vengeful and somewhat disturbed.

by **Arariel** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:45 am UTC

SirMustapha wrote:People here could learn a lot from "Liberal Arts Majors", it seems.

Anything useful?

by **Pfhorrest** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:27 am UTC

babble wrote:also not sure liberal arts means what you think it means. arithmetic & geometry are liberal arts.

In fact, the liberal arts consist almost entirely of math.

The trivum consists of grammar, logic, and rhetoric; ok, besides logic, no real math there (unless you take grammar to mean syntax, I suppose).

But the quadrivium consists of artithmetic and geometry (as babble here says) plus "music" and "astronomy". The latter two are really misnamed as they are not concerned with the practical technique of playing or composing music nor the study of actual stars; rather, they are concerned with what we might today call harmonics and dynamics. As arithmetic concerns pure number, and geometry number in space, "music" concerns number in time, and "astronomy" number in space and time.

So: grammar, math, rhetoric, math, math, math, and math. Yep. Nothing nerdy there at all.

Plus, you know what the opposite of a liberal arts education is? A technical college. Like, the place those poor, stupid peons who can't get into real schools go to. Like they advertise on television, to peasants without the family and connections to know to go anywhere better.*

*This is not actually my opinion and I have the greatest respect for technical schools, but the same people who have disdain for "liberal arts" often seem to have disdain for technical schools, so turnabout is fair play.

by **jpk** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:36 am UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:grammar, math, rhetoric, math, math, math, and math. Yep. Nothing nerdy there at all.

Just to be pickier, grammar is pretty close to math too, if you do it right.

by **VanI** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:57 am UTC

11rcombs wrote:That's obviously not an automotive key, but it's not an SC-1 or any Best key. I've got to wonder which keyway it is.

Quite frankly, it looks like an SC2 to me, although it's been a long time since I manned the key cutter at the hardware store.

by **Eternal Density** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:24 am UTC

babble wrote:amen. also, after decades of kids' jokes replacing common words with 'fish' and pretending that this is 'surrealist', jokes that do this are the exact opposite of surreal. and the exact opposite of funny.

Ni!

by **SirMustapha** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:22 am UTC

jpk wrote:
SirMustapha wrote:You are aware that I was deliberately talking bullshit, aren't you?

I can never tell when it's deliberate...

Oh, no, don't do that. It became painfully clear that you responded to me even though you had no idea what I was saying. Don't be a smartass, it won't work.

What I was pointing out is that speaking bullshit about Computer Science or Mathematics here is a horrible crime and is picked apart ad nauseam, while speaking bullshit about Arts is perfectly okay, because being ignorant about it is something to be proud of -- because Randall said so, evidently. So it's not only okay to think Surrealism is "random nonsense", but it's not okay to actually know anything, because knowledge of arts is "useless". And all this on a forum for a webcomic, which, for better or for worse, is an art form.

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