In other news... (humorous news items)

[philsov]

I found what I think is the full list of expunged words on the Pharyngula blog:

Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco, or drugs
Rock-and-Roll music
Sex

Those bastards!

[Dark567]

It's just banned from the standardized tests, which presumably cover things like: not evolution, not racism, not disease, not class struggles.

I always like the idea of evolution being on standardized tests, it would work as effective curriculum enforcement.

[Qaanol]

Bodily functions

I love the new biology tests, you know the ones that don’t ask about bodily functions.

[SlyReaper]

It's just banned from the standardized tests, which presumably cover things like: not evolution, not racism, not disease, not class struggles.


I guess they probably just cover stuff like reading comprehension, science reasoning, english, and math, like the ACT?

Well yeah, but if it's not in the tests, then it's not going to be in the classes either. Why bother learning (or teaching) about World War 2 if you know war and bloodshed aren't going to be mentioned in the history exam?

[bentheimmigrant]

Well, since history isn't one of the subjects, that's not really an issue. The point of these tests is to assess the teachers. Kids making a big deal about the topics they may have been taught to kick up a fuss about gets in the way of this.

[SlyReaper]

I didn't know history wasn't one of the subjects. What subjects are tested then?

I suddenly have this sinking feeling that I may have completely misunderstood what a standardised test is. I thought it was just Americanese for "exam"?

[pseudoidiot]

It's a type of exam, yeah. But usually when we talk about standardized tests they're for assessment across a range of subjects and are usually independent of any specific class.

The easiest example would be like the ACT or SAT over here the scores of which most colleges consider during admission. But they have no bearing whatsoever on graduating from high school or anything.

[Nylonathatep]

I will post another interesting new item to save face.


http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/28 ... cal-staff/

NYC apparently banned the use of some words in public school tests. Some of the words are 'terrorism', 'divorce', 'dinosaur', 'television', 'dancing', and 'birthday.' The whole thing is so absurd I am having trouble believing it (or tracking down the actual source).

This brings back fond memories of Mod madness a few weeks ago

[bentheimmigrant]

I didn't know history wasn't one of the subjects. What subjects are tested then?

I suddenly have this sinking feeling that I may have completely misunderstood what a standardised test is. I thought it was just Americanese for "exam"?

These were all addressed in the original article.

[Dauric]

The problem with restricting standardized tests like this is that with the current vogue of using standardized tests to rate and reward/penalize schools for performance means their administrators are incentivized to select curricula that optimize learning to pass the tests. We're taking "Slavery" off the tests, watch the Civil War lose time to sanitized versions of founding fathers.

[Gellert1984]

Sheer bat-awesome

Spoiler:

Police pulled a man over on Route 29 in Silver Spring last week because of a problem with his plates. This would not ordinarily make international news, but the car was a black Lamborghini, the license plate was the Batman symbol, and the driver was Batman, dressed head-to-toe in full superhero regalia.

HOLY MOVING VIOLATION!

It didn’t take long before images of the Dark Knight’s encounter with law enforcement began turning up in Facebook news feeds, on CNN and the London tabloids. The episode even made it into Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on NBC earlier this week.

Jokers emerged instantaneously too. “Let him do his job,” one commenter urged on the Post Web site. “Batman has expensive taste,” noted another. Meanwhile, questions about Batman’s identity mounted: “Did they make him take off his mask?” someone asked.

No, they did not. Even Montgomery County police honor a superhero code of conduct, just like the Howard County officers who once helped him with a flat bat tire. Batman told officers his real name was not Bruce Wayne but Lenny B. Robinson, and that his real tags were in the car. (He was not ticketed then, but has been before for a heavy bat foot.)

The Caped Crusader is a businessman from Baltimore County who visits sick children in hospitals, handing out Batman paraphernalia to up-and-coming superheros who first need to beat cancer and other wretched diseases.

I actually know Batman. His parents are dear friends of my wife’s family, and I see him at holiday dinners where my 4-year-old son believes he is the real-life Bruce Wayne. “Daddy, he’s Batman, too,” my son will whisper to me. Though Batman has long been aware that I’m a journalist, he has never suggested I write about him. He does not crave publicity. Like his comic book namesake, he doesn’t seek credit for what he does.

“I’m just doing it for the kids,” he says.

But in light of him going viral — “Gotham City is on the verge of chaos,” Anderson Cooper informed CNN viewers — I asked him whether I could unveil the man behind the mask. He acquiesced but suggested I do so by accompanying him to the cancer ward at Children’s National Medical Center in Northwest Washington for a superhero party thrown by the Hope for Henry organization.

On Monday, he pulled up in his black Lambo with yellow Batman symbols on the doors, the floor mats, the headrests — pretty much everywhere — and he was dressed in his heavy leather and neoprene uniform that he bought from a professional costume maker.

He carried two large bags of Batman books, rubber Batman symbol bracelets and various other toys up to the front desk, where the check-in attendant asked him his name.

“Batman,” he said.


Lenny B. Robinson and Wonder Woman (Leslie Vincent from Cast of Thousands) visit patients at the annual Hope for Henry Superhero Celebration at Georgetown University Hospital. (Allen Goldberg) Camera phones were snapping. A man in line said, “That’s the guy who got pulled over.” Someone asked where Robin was, and Batman replied, “Home studying for the SATs.”

The check-in attendant asked for identification. Batman said it was in his Batmobile. The check-in attendant, just doing her job, asked for his real name. “Lenny,” he announced. “B, as in Batman. Robinson.”

It took Batman approximately 20 minutes to reach the elevators. He stopped to hand out Batman toys to every child he saw, picking them up for pictures, asking them how they were feeling. LaTon Dicks snapped a photo of Batman standing behind her son DeLeon in his wheelchair. She’d recognized the Batmobile on her way in to the hospital. Like everyone else, she’d seen a TV report on him being stopped for speeding and protested, “You can’t pull over Batman.”

When Batman finally reached the elevator for the slow ride up to the cancer ward, I could see his face already sweating behind the mask. He told me he loses 5 to 6 pounds in water weight when he wears the superhero uniform. He paid $5,000 for it. He spends $25,000 a year of his own money on Batman toys and memorabilia. He signs every book, hat, T-shirt and backpack he hands out — Batman.

Batman is 48. He is a self-made success and has the bank account to prove it. He recently sold, for a pile of cash, a commercial cleaning business that he started as a teenager. He became interested in Batman through his son Brandon, who was obsessed with the caped crusader when he was little. “I used to call him Batman,” he told me. “His obsession became my obsession.”

Batman began visiting Baltimore area hospitals in 2001, sometimes with his now teenage son Brandon playing Robin. Once other hospitals and charities heard about his car and his cape, Batman was put on superhero speed dial for children’s causes around the region. He visits sick kids at least couple times a month, sometimes more often. He visits schools, too, to talk about bullying. He does not do birthday parties.

His superhero work is limited to doing good deeds, part of a maturation process in his own life. In his earlier years, he acknowledges that he sometimes displayed an unsuperhero-like temper and got into occasional trouble with the law for fights and other confrontations. Putting on the Batman uniform changes and steadies him.

“Eventually, it sinks in and you become him,” Batman told me. “It feels like I have a responsibility that’s beyond a normal person. And that responsibility is to be there for the kids, to be strong for them, and to make them smile as much as I can.” He understands that might sound corny, but he doesn’t care.

Batman stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor of Children’s. Spider-Man and Wonder Woman were there too — both professional actors from talent agencies, on the clock. He picked up a little boy and said, “I have a present for you.” He shook hands with a father and handed him a yellow rubber Batman bracelet, saying, “This will bring you good luck.” The father said, “We need good luck.”

The parents always say that.

Batman asked each child his or her name. He lifted up almost every child. Many were weak, their hair thin from chemo. He always told them, “I have a present for you.” When a little girl ran away, perhaps a bit scared, Batman said, “That’s the story of Batman’s love life.” (He is divorced.)

Batman overheard a mother tell someone that her toddler was going home the next day, and holding the toddler, and hugging him gently, Batman said, “I’m really glad you are feeling better.”

Stephanie Broadhead of California, Md., was leaning against the wall while her 10-year-old daughter Claire was having her face drawn by an artist. Claire has leukemia. Batman stopped by to marvel at the picture and hand Claire some gifts. “This makes a very hard thing to deal with a little easier,” Claire’s mom said.

Superhero visits to hospitals let kids be kids in a scary, adult place, but the activities are indeed therapeutic, too, the chief doctor on the cancer floor told me.

“These visits provide an immediate boost for these kids,”said Jeffrey Dome, the oncology division chief at Children’s. “Some of these children have to stay for weeks or months at a time. That wears down the children and it wears down the family. You have to keep up morale. A visit from a superhero is sort of like a fantasy in the middle of all this hard-core therapy.”

As Batman wandered around from child to child, I asked him, “Isn’t this hard?”

His children are healthy. My children are healthy.

“We are very lucky,” he said. “All I can say is we are very, very lucky.”

The party began winding down. Spider-Man changed out of his costume. Wonder Woman changed out of hers. They said goodbye to Batman, still working the floor, as he posed for a photo with a patient’s father. The father thanked Batman and said, “I saw you on the news — Route 29.”

“I think everyone saw me on Route 29,” Batman acknowledged. He asked the nurses at the front desk whether there were any children who couldn’t come out of their rooms to see him.

Assured that there weren’t, Batman headed back down to his Batmobile, followed by the mother of a baby girl with cancer and her healthy 4-year-old son, whose only goal in life at that moment was to see the Batmobile. When the boy saw the car, I thought his eyeballs were going to separate from his body. (Batman is actually in the process of having a just-like-the-movies Batmobile built for $250,000, but it’s not ready yet.)

Batman revved the engines and blasted the audio system — the Batman theme song. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman! He revved the engine some more. The little boy didn’t want to say goodbye, but his mom told him, “Batman needs to go fight the bad guys.”

The little boy cried.

“I want to go help him fight the bad guys,” he said.

His mom said, “You need to go help your sister fight cancer.”

Batman sped away.

[BoomFrog]

That guy is awesome.

[Carlington]

Sheer bat-awesome

Spoiler:

Police pulled a man over on Route 29 in Silver Spring last week because of a problem with his plates. This would not ordinarily make international news, but the car was a black Lamborghini, the license plate was the Batman symbol, and the driver was Batman, dressed head-to-toe in full superhero regalia.

HOLY MOVING VIOLATION!

It didn’t take long before images of the Dark Knight’s encounter with law enforcement began turning up in Facebook news feeds, on CNN and the London tabloids. The episode even made it into Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on NBC earlier this week.

Jokers emerged instantaneously too. “Let him do his job,” one commenter urged on the Post Web site. “Batman has expensive taste,” noted another. Meanwhile, questions about Batman’s identity mounted: “Did they make him take off his mask?” someone asked.

No, they did not. Even Montgomery County police honor a superhero code of conduct, just like the Howard County officers who once helped him with a flat bat tire. Batman told officers his real name was not Bruce Wayne but Lenny B. Robinson, and that his real tags were in the car. (He was not ticketed then, but has been before for a heavy bat foot.)

The Caped Crusader is a businessman from Baltimore County who visits sick children in hospitals, handing out Batman paraphernalia to up-and-coming superheros who first need to beat cancer and other wretched diseases.

I actually know Batman. His parents are dear friends of my wife’s family, and I see him at holiday dinners where my 4-year-old son believes he is the real-life Bruce Wayne. “Daddy, he’s Batman, too,” my son will whisper to me. Though Batman has long been aware that I’m a journalist, he has never suggested I write about him. He does not crave publicity. Like his comic book namesake, he doesn’t seek credit for what he does.

“I’m just doing it for the kids,” he says.

But in light of him going viral — “Gotham City is on the verge of chaos,” Anderson Cooper informed CNN viewers — I asked him whether I could unveil the man behind the mask. He acquiesced but suggested I do so by accompanying him to the cancer ward at Children’s National Medical Center in Northwest Washington for a superhero party thrown by the Hope for Henry organization.

On Monday, he pulled up in his black Lambo with yellow Batman symbols on the doors, the floor mats, the headrests — pretty much everywhere — and he was dressed in his heavy leather and neoprene uniform that he bought from a professional costume maker.

He carried two large bags of Batman books, rubber Batman symbol bracelets and various other toys up to the front desk, where the check-in attendant asked him his name.

“Batman,” he said.


Lenny B. Robinson and Wonder Woman (Leslie Vincent from Cast of Thousands) visit patients at the annual Hope for Henry Superhero Celebration at Georgetown University Hospital. (Allen Goldberg) Camera phones were snapping. A man in line said, “That’s the guy who got pulled over.” Someone asked where Robin was, and Batman replied, “Home studying for the SATs.”

The check-in attendant asked for identification. Batman said it was in his Batmobile. The check-in attendant, just doing her job, asked for his real name. “Lenny,” he announced. “B, as in Batman. Robinson.”

It took Batman approximately 20 minutes to reach the elevators. He stopped to hand out Batman toys to every child he saw, picking them up for pictures, asking them how they were feeling. LaTon Dicks snapped a photo of Batman standing behind her son DeLeon in his wheelchair. She’d recognized the Batmobile on her way in to the hospital. Like everyone else, she’d seen a TV report on him being stopped for speeding and protested, “You can’t pull over Batman.”

When Batman finally reached the elevator for the slow ride up to the cancer ward, I could see his face already sweating behind the mask. He told me he loses 5 to 6 pounds in water weight when he wears the superhero uniform. He paid $5,000 for it. He spends $25,000 a year of his own money on Batman toys and memorabilia. He signs every book, hat, T-shirt and backpack he hands out — Batman.

Batman is 48. He is a self-made success and has the bank account to prove it. He recently sold, for a pile of cash, a commercial cleaning business that he started as a teenager. He became interested in Batman through his son Brandon, who was obsessed with the caped crusader when he was little. “I used to call him Batman,” he told me. “His obsession became my obsession.”

Batman began visiting Baltimore area hospitals in 2001, sometimes with his now teenage son Brandon playing Robin. Once other hospitals and charities heard about his car and his cape, Batman was put on superhero speed dial for children’s causes around the region. He visits sick kids at least couple times a month, sometimes more often. He visits schools, too, to talk about bullying. He does not do birthday parties.

His superhero work is limited to doing good deeds, part of a maturation process in his own life. In his earlier years, he acknowledges that he sometimes displayed an unsuperhero-like temper and got into occasional trouble with the law for fights and other confrontations. Putting on the Batman uniform changes and steadies him.

“Eventually, it sinks in and you become him,” Batman told me. “It feels like I have a responsibility that’s beyond a normal person. And that responsibility is to be there for the kids, to be strong for them, and to make them smile as much as I can.” He understands that might sound corny, but he doesn’t care.

Batman stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor of Children’s. Spider-Man and Wonder Woman were there too — both professional actors from talent agencies, on the clock. He picked up a little boy and said, “I have a present for you.” He shook hands with a father and handed him a yellow rubber Batman bracelet, saying, “This will bring you good luck.” The father said, “We need good luck.”

The parents always say that.

Batman asked each child his or her name. He lifted up almost every child. Many were weak, their hair thin from chemo. He always told them, “I have a present for you.” When a little girl ran away, perhaps a bit scared, Batman said, “That’s the story of Batman’s love life.” (He is divorced.)

Batman overheard a mother tell someone that her toddler was going home the next day, and holding the toddler, and hugging him gently, Batman said, “I’m really glad you are feeling better.”

Stephanie Broadhead of California, Md., was leaning against the wall while her 10-year-old daughter Claire was having her face drawn by an artist. Claire has leukemia. Batman stopped by to marvel at the picture and hand Claire some gifts. “This makes a very hard thing to deal with a little easier,” Claire’s mom said.

Superhero visits to hospitals let kids be kids in a scary, adult place, but the activities are indeed therapeutic, too, the chief doctor on the cancer floor told me.

“These visits provide an immediate boost for these kids,”said Jeffrey Dome, the oncology division chief at Children’s. “Some of these children have to stay for weeks or months at a time. That wears down the children and it wears down the family. You have to keep up morale. A visit from a superhero is sort of like a fantasy in the middle of all this hard-core therapy.”

As Batman wandered around from child to child, I asked him, “Isn’t this hard?”

His children are healthy. My children are healthy.

“We are very lucky,” he said. “All I can say is we are very, very lucky.”

The party began winding down. Spider-Man changed out of his costume. Wonder Woman changed out of hers. They said goodbye to Batman, still working the floor, as he posed for a photo with a patient’s father. The father thanked Batman and said, “I saw you on the news — Route 29.”

“I think everyone saw me on Route 29,” Batman acknowledged. He asked the nurses at the front desk whether there were any children who couldn’t come out of their rooms to see him.

Assured that there weren’t, Batman headed back down to his Batmobile, followed by the mother of a baby girl with cancer and her healthy 4-year-old son, whose only goal in life at that moment was to see the Batmobile. When the boy saw the car, I thought his eyeballs were going to separate from his body. (Batman is actually in the process of having a just-like-the-movies Batmobile built for $250,000, but it’s not ready yet.)

Batman revved the engines and blasted the audio system — the Batman theme song. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman! He revved the engine some more. The little boy didn’t want to say goodbye, but his mom told him, “Batman needs to go fight the bad guys.”

The little boy cried.

“I want to go help him fight the bad guys,” he said.

His mom said, “You need to go help your sister fight cancer.”

Batman sped away.

Holy jumping monkeys, that's awesome!

Also,

I found what I think is the full list of expunged words on the Pharyngula blog:
...
Rock-and-Roll music
...

I'm sorry, what? Rap was in there too, for balance, but what? Should they not also ban Bossa-Nova, for example, by this logic?

[LaserGuy]

Indonesia considering passing a law that would consider skirts above the knee to be pornographic and presumably banned in public places.

[Trigger warning]There are a few quotes in the article made about provocative clothing and its relationship to sexual assault that some might find offensive[/Trigger]

[buddy431]

Indonesia considering passing a law that would consider skirts above the knee to be pornographic and presumably banned in public places.

I like the video at the bottom about the women's chess tournament getting a dress code. Here's a "news" story about it. If they want to make chess more exciting, they should be encouraging the participants to show some skin (I kid).

[omgryebread]

Also,

I found what I think is the full list of expunged words on the Pharyngula blog:
...
Rock-and-Roll music
...

I'm sorry, what? Rap was in there too, for balance, but what? Should they not also ban Bossa-Nova, for example, by this logic?

My guess is that they wanted to exclude Rap and threw in "Rock-and-Roll music" for balance. Also, is it just me, or is the phrase "rock-and-roll" never actually used to describe anything current?

[Shivahn]

I know I'm like a day late, but...

It's just banned from the standardized tests, which presumably cover things like: not evolution, not racism, not disease, not class struggles.


I guess they probably just cover stuff like reading comprehension, science reasoning, english, and math, like the ACT?

Ha!

(I know what you mean, but if we're stripping out parts of science because they're empirical and not just reasoning, then we're going to end up with some really basic logic and philosophy for a science section).

[addams]

No Mendel's Peas?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregor_Mendel
How can people be O.K. in a world where students don't learn about Mendel and his peas?
No Rock and Roll? It shifted the thinking of a planet. I don't like to listen to it, but, to ban the word seems short sighted.
Rap? Nazi? Really?
ewww. The Giver meets 1984
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Giver
This thread is not funny, anymore. eww.

Where did that trench go?

[Carlington]

I know I'm like a day late, but...

It's just banned from the standardized tests, which presumably cover things like: not evolution, not racism, not disease, not class struggles.


I guess they probably just cover stuff like reading comprehension, science reasoning, english, and math, like the ACT?

Ha!

(I know what you mean, but if we're stripping out parts of science because they're empirical and not just reasoning, then we're going to end up with some really basic logic and philosophy for a science section).

Science reasoning as in the skills necessary for science. Things like graph reading, being able to interpret data, etc. No actual scientific theory necessary, solely the practical skills. Standarised testing as in testing we can apply to any student, irrespective of what their study pattern is, and applicable only to parts of the curriculum that are mandatory for every student in every school across the entire nation. Sorry if you already know what they mean and I realise that you don't mean to come off this way, but it seems you're being just a little obtuse, and it's irritating me a little bit.

[KnightExemplar]

Smartphones Market penetration reaches 50% in the US in February.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/03/29/ ... martphones


I'm just about to get one myself, so I'll be joining the crowd now. I remember when in 2003, $500 + 2Year Contract got you a Motorola Razr (the original) on Cingular. We were happy to have just a music player built into our phones back then. And now, a crappy generic $0 Android from Verizon comes with GPS + turn-by-turn navigation, apps, music, accelerometers, compass and more. (At least... its crappy compared to everything else on the market. BTW: don't get those laggy pieces of ****).

Granted, the cost today is about the data plan, not really about the phone. But still, I think this demonstrates that smartphones are becoming a commodity item. In a few months, it will be more common to have a smartphone than not having a smartphone.

[addams]

I know I'm like a day late, but...

It's just banned from the standardized tests, which presumably cover things like: not evolution, not racism, not disease, not class struggles.


I guess they probably just cover stuff like reading comprehension, science reasoning, english, and math, like the ACT?

Ha!

(I know what you mean, but if we're stripping out parts of science because they're empirical and not just reasoning, then we're going to end up with some really basic logic and philosophy for a science section).

Science reasoning as in the skills necessary for science. Things like graph reading, being able to interpret data, etc. No actual scientific theory necessary, solely the practical skills. Standarised testing as in testing we can apply to any student, irrespective of what their study pattern is, and applicable only to parts of the curriculum that are mandatory for every student in every school across the entire nation. Sorry if you already know what they mean and I realise that you don't mean to come off this way, but it seems you're being just a little obtuse, and it's irritating me a little bit.

Nope. It did not occur to me to have skills with no information.
Sure. That would work. Like math books have made up trains that leave non existent stations and will meet some imaginary place.

[Qaanol]

Like math books have made up trains that leave non existent stations and will meet some imaginary place.

You think you can use trains in your math problems? I’ll have you know that terrorists have killed people on trains. Trains are way too closely linked to terrorism, now get your subversive, offensive questions off my math test.

[Shivahn]

Like math books have made up trains that leave non existent stations and will meet some imaginary place.

You think you can use trains in your math problems? I’ll have you know that terrorists have killed people on trains. Trains are way too closely linked to terrorism, now get your subversive, offensive questions off my math test.

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

I think they should have me write word problems for standardized tests.

[SlyReaper]

Obvious April Fools Joke Is Obvious

Please tell me it's an April Fools joke...

[bentheimmigrant]

Hey there CallMeDave. I remember there was a time that the one thing I respected your party for was opposing things like this. I'm glad I don't have that to worry about anymore.

[addams]

Obvious April Fools Joke Is Obvious

Please tell me it's an April Fools joke...

O.K. It is an April Fool's Joke for you in your country. It is standard operation procedure in the US.
Digital word filters for most. A few special people get all their e-mails read by real people.

Whew Hew! We always have choices.
How does the individual respond?
1. Make your e-mails strangely unreadable?= Become a person of interest.
2. Do the JFK, Bomb, Moon Martians word salad?=Get a visits from strangers that are stranger than most.
3. Bore them with love poems and chit-chat?=My personal favorite.
4. Write a bunch of fiction with a friends, for fun. Use Science for the plot line. Think War of the Worlds=Go to jail.

[jakovasaur]

Fox realizes right now might not be the best time to promote its Neighborhood Watch movie

[Triangle_Man]

@ Batman Story - I was a bit late in reading that, but that is just a wonderful story, you know?

@ Fox - Yeah, that's probably a good idea on their part. It's probably in bad taste to release such a flick at this time.

...I'm not sure how funny it will actually be, however.

[SlyReaper]

Turns out the obvious April fools joke wasn't an April fools joke.

[Diadem]

Turns out the obvious April fools joke wasn't an April fools joke.

Wait, what? Source please?

The UK is truly going to monitor all email and web traffic? Are they even allowed to do that? I suspect Brussels may have a few choice words to say about that.

[SlyReaper]

I'm posting from a phone, so linking stuff is tricky. It's on the bbc website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17580906

I typed that out manually, so it may not link properly.

[addams]

I'm posting from a phone, so linking stuff is tricky. It's on the bbc website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17580906

I typed that out manually, so it may not link properly.

The link worked fine. Impressive button pushing on your part.

Again, This has been going on in the US a long time.

Love Poems and Chit Chat. What else do people use e-mail for?
Oh. Lunch dates. Yep. I have had strangers attend lunch dates.
Kind of, weird. (Shrug.)

I am really so dull. Why me? Why most of us?
Because, there is so much money to spend and the only way to justify the expense is to make it part of the war effort.

Remember how government budgets work. Use it or Lose it!

I have seen wild spending near the end of the fiscal year. "We have to spend it all! Or, we will not get any next year!"
So, weird. It is so, true.

There is not one person that can not get caught up in the feeding frenzy. It takes training to be able to make the money disappear. Jargon is used to obfuscate. Everyone needs to learn jargon that in impenetrable by persons of other disciplines and to use jargon in ways that cause persons inside a given discipline to wonder: What meeting did I miss?

That is not your concern; Is it?

The people of Great Britain are losing their innocence? I am sorry.

Ech. What do you need all that privacy for, anyway? The Police will not tell your Grandmother what you are planing to give her for her Birthday.

Grandma's Birthday is about the highest level of secrecy most people have.

It is strange to me that such expensive infrastructure and mountains of man hours are used this way. Not a big deal, if, everyone were fed and housed and had a weekly massage and feel good therapy with a qualified professional of their choice; Freud for some. Jung for others. Sensory deprivations tanks for some and friendly Orgies for others.

Then; This would not seem wasteful. As it stands now, it seems wasteful to me.

[Arrian]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

I think they should have me write word problems for standardized tests.

Woah, woahwoahwoahwoah! Wait a minute, now! This here is America, you can't go using that commie socialist metric system on impressionable young minds! You know who created the metric system? The French. You don't want to corrupt our children's fragile, feeble minds with French propaganda, do you? It's a slippery slope: first you get them using the metric system, next thing you know they'll be wearing berets, dropping the last syllable of words and not mocking mimes.

Nope, no kilometers or kilograms on OUR tests, no sirree.

[Lostdreams]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

More importantly, what happens when they do meet?

[Dauric]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

More importantly, what happens when they do meet?

Well since centipedes are unable to move without some sort of guidance rail to direct their path (thus ensuring that the two centipedes will maintain the correct distance and course, as opposed to meandering a few km out of their way to snack on a leaf or something silly like that) the two centipedes will collide violently, most likely counting Ted and Jane among the fatalities that could have been prevented with properly working rail facilities and sufficient schedule planning.

It will later come to light through the National Insect Safety Board investigation that the equipment necessary to prevent those tragic fatalities was unavailable due to budget cutbacks. A Proinsectia investigation in conjunction with National Entomological Radio has uncovered extensive lobbying from the Caterpillar Consortium to block funding for necessary centipede rail upgrades in order to support the butterfly travel industry.

[Qaanol]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

I think they should have me write word problems for standardized tests.

Since they start 120km apart, and move away from each other, it is clear that Jane will fall off the west edge of the earth, and Ted will fall off the east edge of the earth. What sort of skills was this supposed to test, other than to identify the round-earthers so they can be held back a year?

[Dauric]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

I think they should have me write word problems for standardized tests.

Since they start 120km apart, and move away from each other, it is clear that Jane will fall off the west edge of the earth, and Ted will fall off the east edge of the earth. What sort of skills was this supposed to test, other than to identify the round-earthers so they can be held back a year burned at the stake for their heresy?

fix'd.

[Shivahn]

Jane gets on a giant centipede heading west at 40 km/h. Meanwhile, Ted gets on a centipede on the same road heading east at 50 km/h. If Ted starts 120 km east of Jane, how long will it be until the centipedes meet?

I think they should have me write word problems for standardized tests.

Since they start 120km apart, and move away from each other, it is clear that Jane will fall off the west edge of the earth, and Ted will fall off the east edge of the earth. What sort of skills was this supposed to test, other than to identify the round-earthers so they can be held back a year?

It's the perfect example of one of those trick questions we need more of, to make sure our kids are properly frustrated at tiny bullshit.

If they aren't punching holes in the wall at how much bullshit everything is, are they really prepared for an office job?

[yurell]

Well since centipedes are unable to move without some sort of guidance rail to direct their path (thus ensuring that the two centipedes will maintain the correct distance and course, as opposed to meandering a few km out of their way to snack on a leaf or something silly like that)

It was actually a biology test in disguise — those who didn't point out that the situation is absurd because centipedes are carnivorous are the ones who fail! And let's not forget, the entire situation of people riding giant centipedes attached to rails is absurd because of this reason!


And those that did fail anyway, because it can be pointed out that centipedes will eat leaves if starved! Everyone fails!

[Djehutynakht]

Turns out the obvious April fools joke wasn't an April fools joke.

The worst April Fools jokes are the April Fools jokes which fool you into thinking that they're jokes when they're being totally serious.

And then you're just mad for the rest of the month.