1011: "Baby Names by Frank Zappa"

[tml]

My vote for a name worse than "Renesmee": Abcde (pronounced "Absidy"). Yes, this really happens! I actually know a couple that was this cruel/stupid.

[The Mac Man]

I have a friend who actually did name her daughter "Renesmee". I would really hate to be that kid...

[rdharrison]

I've been trying for a couple years now but I haven't been able to come up with a name dumber than 'Renesmee'.

And then Suzanne Collins shows up, and at least ties for dumbest with 'Katniss'. As a bonus, she even throws in a 'Haymitch' for the boys. Out of what orifice did she pull these names?

[dhokarena56]

The names of the Angels from Evangelion would make cool-sounding girls' names- only you'd have to hide from your daughter that she was named after an anime in which mentally ill children pilot giant robots and then the world ends. Think about it. Ramiel would be such a cool name...

[addams]

I may win weirdest reason for not so strange a name.

I named a human child after a cadavor that I worked with. In all those years I told one person. She promised not to tell, until the child was 18. The day the child turned 18 the telephone rang.

Jeeze. I had some explaining to do. The poor child was all upset. She was told wrong.

Some people are so mean.

[Monika]

You mean that was the name of a dead person whose autopsy you participated in?

[addams]

You mean that was the name of a dead person whose autopsy you participated in?

Nah. It wasn't a simple autopsy. It was one summer working for Dr. Bob.

There is a great deal of work to do to prepare a body to teach. Umm. That did not sound right.

Spoiler:

It was required that I do some kind of work, most summers, for the privilege of going to school in the fall. I loved the campus when it was empty.

In many ways that cadaver was important to me. She was important to Dr. Bob, too.
I only saw him in his office one or two hours each week. He was always sticking his nose into my work. My work was his work.

I was doing the grunt stuff. He talked to me. He gave me orders. When you find the (Insert some structure.) Come get me.

Then, he wouldn't leave. Sometimes he would take the scalple. Sometimes he would have one of his own. We went slow. The veins were not nicely colored.

The man had a plan. He had experience doing this kind of thing. He was my hero.

We talked a lot about Delta that summer.

I was a lucky one. I got to watch and listen to Dr. Bob while he did his 'Thing'.

He was an expert. He asked me questions, too. I knew stuff.

We talked about Delta some. We, also, talked about the Human Condition.

The knee. Just the fricking knee took two weeks.

Delta had been fat. Just, fact. The size of her leg muscles were amazing to me. It takes some strong muscles to carry that kind of weight. Her leg muscles were wonderful.

So, stupid. All summer long she had been honored and I had learned to love her and Dr. Bob. And; the lab. It was a sacred place to me. It was quiet. It was clean and orderly. There were sacred objects. Strange things. Things that were none of my business. I had one job and one job only. Do what Dr. Bob said to do.

When the normal folks showed up in the Fall. We all had the same lecture about how to treat the remains of our fellow human beings. And; Why.

Well; The way that some of those men talked about Delta, hurt me.


Dr. Bob had explained dark humor and how it releases stress and helps frightened people appear to be not frightened. He told me about it. So; I was not surprised. I was disappointed in my fellow man and for some reason it hurt my feelings. She was like a friend. An easy to get along with friend.

So; When I was putting her away that night, I told her that I would honor her somehow. I would name a child for her, if, I ever had one. I was talking in my head to a human cadaver.

So; My kid could have any other middle name; She HAD to be Delta. She is, too. She likes it in some strange way. Maybe; I don't know.

Damn good thing she was a girl.

[Monika]

Somehow, this is pretty awesome.

[MrHemroid]

The names are pretty funny, so are a lot of the posts in this thread.

I didn't get the twilight reference, so thanks people for pointing it out.

But, what does Frank Zappa have to do with anything? I knew nothing about him until I found out he was a musician on wikipedia, and I don't think reading until I understand the joke will be too much fun. Maybe he was weirdly named kids or makes up strange lyrics?

Also #13 Joyst doesn't make sense to me... Joy+st? Joystick? Joy street? Actually, Joy street does sound like sexual innuendo now that I think about it.

[Pfhorrest]

But, what does Frank Zappa have to do with anything? I knew nothing about him until I found out he was a musician on wikipedia, and I don't think reading until I understand the joke will be too much fun. Maybe he was weirdly named kids or makes up strange lyrics?

His kids are named "Dweezil", "Ahmet", and "Moon Unit".

No, seriously. Moon Unit Zappa.

[eran_rathan]

The names are pretty funny, so are a lot of the posts in this thread.

I didn't get the twilight reference, so thanks people for pointing it out.

But, what does Frank Zappa have to do with anything? I knew nothing about him until I found out he was a musician on wikipedia, and I don't think reading until I understand the joke will be too much fun. Maybe he was weirdly named kids or makes up strange lyrics?

Also #13 Joyst doesn't make sense to me... Joy+st? Joystick? Joy street? Actually, Joy street does sound like sexual innuendo now that I think about it.

In my home town, one of the selectmen was named Richard Joy, but he went by Dick.

Dick Joy.

It always made me wonder how people could introduce him with a straight face.
"I've known Dick Joy for a very long time..."

[rsc390]

On ambulance duty, a friend of mine came across these real names in downtown Rochester:

"abcde", pronounced "absidee"

"la-a" pronounced "ladasha"

"shithead" pronounced "shitheed"

[Monika]

Your friend lied to you.

[rsc390]

Nah, he's not that creative. Also if you've ever been to downtown Rochester... yeah.

[KyJoCa]

Was reading a news article quite a few months ago, and the name of the detective on the case was "C'mon".

I'll give you a few seconds to guess how it was pronounced.

Spoiler:

It's pronounced "Simone".

[RowanE]

The names of the Angels from Evangelion would make cool-sounding girls' names- only you'd have to hide from your daughter that she was named after an anime in which mentally ill children pilot giant robots and then the world ends. Think about it. Ramiel would be such a cool name...

I'm pretty sure they use the names of actual angels from the bible. Ramiel's definitely one.

[Monika]

Nah, he's not that creative. Also if you've ever been to downtown Rochester... yeah.

Believe me, he lied to you. Those are names from chain mails. They have been posted a hundred times in this forum alone. And they were lies from the beginning. And racist, even though this does not become apparent anymore in this form without context.

[XTCamus]

This got me wondering what stupid names the next generation will come up with. You know, just to piss off the new grandparents. What makes my eyes bleed most is regular names spelled in ridiculous new ways... which leads me to predict:

Kirk spelled Ckirck.

(Wow, no hits on Google for any words or names starting with ck. Whenever I think I've thought of something new, Google always bursts my bubble. Not this time though, baby!)

[addams]

Yes. Those Mormons are out on the cutting edge of Baby Names.
They have a lot of babies to practice on.

Frank Zappa and his odd baby names.
Frank Zappa and his odd everything.

Spoiler:

Cohen: Is one of your children named Moon Unit?

Zappa: Yep.

Cohen: Son or daughter?

Zappa: Daughter.

Cohen: What are your other children’s names?

Zappa: Dweezil and Ahmet.

Cohen: Is Moon Unit the oldest?

Zappa: Yep.

Cohen: What do you call her around the house?

Zappa: I call her Moon and I call Dweezil ‘Dweezil’ and I call Ahmet ‘Ahmet.’

Cohen: I’m wondering what psychological effects a name can have.

Zappa: Well, first of all, I knew that they were going to be unique anyway because of certain other attributes, so why not have a name that goes with it. They all like their names and the kids at school do too. They don’t make fun of them; in fact, most of them are jealous of their names. You know, it always amazes me when someone who is in my age group, or even younger, asks me a question like why did you name your children that. It’s a reactionary kind of question. Why the f*ck not name your kids something like that? They’re having a good time. Besides that, if they ever wanted to change their names they can do it. It only costs about $15.

Cohen: You can’t tell from the name Moon Unit whether it’s a boy or a girl. Had Moon Unit been a boy, would you have named him the same thing?

Zappa: No, I would have named him Motor Head.

Dweezel was the name of Frank's wife's little toe. Then it became the name of his son. Funny how these things happen.
Moon Unit? Well? She was a girl.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Frank Zappa
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/autho ... A5TIKlJ.99

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/autho ... xqkmiYP.99

Great minds think alike?
Weird minds come up with the same shit?
The obvious is obvious to many?