xkcd

by **Kromix** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:19 pm UTC

you get someone's mangled left arm

i put oatmeal into the vending machine

by **Odilo** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:17 pm UTC

You get goatmeal.

I put in my unfinished philosophy essay on dualism.

by **Kromix** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:19 pm UTC

you get an invitation to appear on univision.

i put it the goatmeal and badion's left testicle in the vending machine.

by **darknut** » Tue Apr 03, 2012 7:07 am UTC

it refuses to accept the goatmeal and testicle and shoots out my hand which slaps in the face along with a note that says "i think your fetish is weird as hell"

i run over and grab my hand, no time to put anything in the machine i gotta go get this re-attached

by **LOLBeth** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:51 am UTC

I walk past the vending machine on the way to the Non Sequitur thread and get the conclusion to Odilo's philosophy essay on dualism.

I put in the punchline to a particularly lame joke.

by **Badion** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:51 pm UTC

You dont get jack shizer because......

I use a HUGE MOTHER FUCKIN CROWBAR and smash the vending machine. I take all of the crap everyone has gotten and go to the next vending machine and put it all back in.

by **LOLBeth** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:42 pm UTC

You get a 16-ton safe that plummets from the ceiling and smashes you to jelly. It's labeled 'anti-crowbar defense mechanism'.

I put the crowbar and the bits of the smashed vending machine into the undamaged vending machine.

by **bug sniper** » Thu Apr 05, 2012 2:32 am UTC

You get a coupon for 10% off for a replacement vending machine.

I insert a coupon for a bottle of Dr. Pepper, to see if the machine will accept it.

by **Odilo** » Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:08 am UTC

You get Dr. Phil trapped in a bottle.

I put in xkcd.

by **Vohu Manah** » Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:19 pm UTC

You get a string of random letters and a top hat.

I put in Turkey.

by **bug sniper** » Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:22 pm UTC

You get Hungary and the feeling that you shouldn't have eaten your dinner rather than inserting Turkey.

I put in the Leaning Tower of Pizza.

by **Metazoan** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 7:10 pm UTC

You get a large bill from a carpet cleaning company.

I put in an IOU for a bottle of brandy, a box of matches and a spoon.

I suspect I don't want to be holding that lot when the IOU comes due.

Maybe I should have been a banker.

by **bug sniper** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:29 pm UTC

You get a list of the possible random items you might receive in return, including a towel, a box of cereal, and a flashlight.

I insert a bus token.

by **Badion** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:35 pm UTC

you get a a completely useless metric wrench which makes it completely useless.

I put in a picture of a sunset.

by **Metazoan** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:24 pm UTC

You get a green flash.

I feed in some electricity from my new atomic pile.

by **LOLBeth** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:28 pm UTC

You get a pile of atoms. They're blue.

I put my left foot in. I take my left foot out. I put my left foot in and shake it all about.

by **Badion** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 5:30 pm UTC

You get a bloody stump. Stop playing with the vending machine.

I put in blood remover. Its a real thing.

by **Snark** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 5:53 pm UTC

You get a unicorn horn. It's a real thing.

I put in a slice of cold pizza.

by **LOLBeth** » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:49 pm UTC

You get the square root of -1. It's an unreal thing.

I put in my two cents' worth.

by **Thesh** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:59 am UTC

You get ignored.

I put in a used prostitute.

by **Arlick** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:06 am UTC

You get a used nun

I put in three legs of chair and a turnip

by **madjo** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:20 am UTC

You get hit over the head with the rest of the chair, and the green sprouts of a carrot.

I put in my entry to this year's Eurovision song contest.

by **Badion** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:36 pm UTC

You get nothing if we can't see it. Or hear the recording.

Removing the entry and holding it until further notice. I place my shoe laces into the vending machine. There are no aglets.

by **matt96** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:01 am UTC

You get various pamphlets on the importance of aglets, how to protect your aglets from falling apart, and how to perform maintenance on aglets that are starting to fall apart.

I put in my old, empty wallet that is starting to fall apart.

by **Arlick** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:34 am UTC

You get an I.O.U

I put in a kilogram of orange cat hair

by **bug sniper** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:26 pm UTC

You get sneezing from inside the machine.

I insert a nonexchangable train ticket.

by **Badion** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:05 pm UTC

You get a plane ticket for a flight that was yesterday.

I put in a pedometer.

by **matt96** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:24 pm UTC

You get a business card for some person claiming to be a "foot guru"

I put in a ball of metal that I pocketed in the thread titled "take a penny leave a penny."

by **Odilo** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:37 pm UTC

You get a penny that's about to self-destruct.

I put in my chainmail shirt.

by **Snark** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:42 pm UTC

You get out a chain-mithril shirt.

I put in 600 copies of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

by **matt96** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:59 am UTC

You get one copy of the movie trilogy The Lord of the Rings

I put in $1.25

by **Odilo** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:11 am UTC

The vending machine eats your money.

I put in world peace.

by **Arlick** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:26 am UTC

You get the world in pieces

I put in the letter 'D'

by **Badion** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:43 pm UTC

you get a bag.

I put in a towel.

by **Kyreles** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:30 pm UTC

You get water. It sprays everywhere.

I put in a live penguin.

by **Snark** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:31 pm UTC

You get a tuxedo that's two sizes too small for you.

I put in my Christmas letter to Santa.

by **Kyreles** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:33 pm UTC

A very disoriented elf pops out and runs off.

I put in Nomic 16.0

by **matt96** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:03 pm UTC

you lose Nomic 16.0 and Orangedragonfire is able to easily win Nomic 16.0

I put in 3 hours of my time.

by **Badion** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:45 pm UTC

You get nothing back. What a waste.

I put in a leopard

by **RaceBandit** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 1:20 am UTC

You get a keyboard and the sneaking suspicion that something around here is backwards.

I insert an Ultra Ball containing a Raikou.

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