xkcd

by **Phenriz** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:07 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:Poorly engineered food: Salad.

Too much 'suck' and not enough 'win'.

Unless it's a properly engineered, Taco Salad.

in which case is 99% win: 1% suck.

by **Fantastic Idea** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:13 pm UTC

Ugh. My loathing for salad extends even to Taco Salad. (this is mainly because my mother is a terrible cook, and somehow screwed up taco salad.) I am scarred for life, and salad will never be OK.

by **Pesto** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:19 pm UTC

If I could make it to the meetup, I would bring marshmallows and taco salad.

I'm very sad now.

by **PatrickRsGhost** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:23 pm UTC

Phenriz wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:Poorly engineered food: Salad.

Too much 'suck' and not enough 'win'.

Unless it's a properly engineered, Taco Salad.

in which case is 99% win: 1% suck.

Not to mention Tuna Salad, which, if prepared properly, is also 99% win, 1% suck. I have had tuna salad done right, and I've had it done wrong. One way to do it wrong? Add lemon juice. All you need for tuna salad is tuna, mayonnaise, dill relish, and chopped boiled egg (optional). Salt and pepper also optional.

Salads that are full of the suck and lose and more suck? Gelatin salads.

by **Grlmm** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:27 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:Ugh. My loathing for salad extends even to Taco Salad. (this is mainly because my mother is a terrible cook, and somehow screwed up taco salad.) I am scarred for life, and salad will never be OK.

How.

by **idont_know12** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:32 am UTC

A long time ago, Cassi wrote:I'm a vegetarian, so no marshmallows for me. Stupid morals. I'd happily give them up for a s'more now and then, but they don't seem willing to leave me alone.

How exactly does vegetarianism preclude marshmallows? I'm very confused.

by **Morphing Ball** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:11 am UTC

idont_know12 wrote:
A long time ago, Cassi wrote:I'm a vegetarian, so no marshmallows for me. Stupid morals. I'd happily give them up for a s'more now and then, but they don't seem willing to leave me alone.

How exactly does vegetarianism preclude marshmallows? I'm very confused.

I would imagine it's due to the gelatin content.

That has bones in.

by **Lyra Ngalia** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:17 am UTC

Morphing Ball wrote:
idont_know12 wrote:
A long time ago, Cassi wrote:I'm a vegetarian, so no marshmallows for me. Stupid morals. I'd happily give them up for a s'more now and then, but they don't seem willing to leave me alone.

How exactly does vegetarianism preclude marshmallows? I'm very confused.

I would imagine it's due to the gelatin content.

That has bones in.

But isn't that more veganism than vegetarianism?

by **Fantastic Idea** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:36 am UTC

Grlmm wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:Ugh. My loathing for salad extends even to Taco Salad. (this is mainly because my mother is a terrible cook, and somehow screwed up taco salad.) I am scarred for life, and salad will never be OK.

How.

I believe it involved trying to make it too much 'salad' and not enough 'taco' and also something about doritos and thousand island dressing. It burns us.

by **redthegreat** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:56 am UTC

You lot just eat like pigs I think.

by **xooll** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:08 am UTC

triangular tortilla chips and salsa. How the hell can you scoop up salsa with a triangular chip that's wider than the mouth of the salsa jar!? It's madness.

by **Ketzerei** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:14 am UTC

Lyra Ngalia wrote:But isn't that more veganism than vegetarianism?

Since getting the bones requires killing the animal, no.

by **Phi** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:23 am UTC

xooll wrote:triangular tortilla chips and salsa. How the hell can you scoop up salsa with a triangular chip that's wider than the mouth of the salsa jar!? It's madness.

AAAGH This pisses me off too. Usually I just pour some salsa onto the lid and scoop from there. But triangular tortilla chips are bad by design; my mouth can't stretch that far.
And for the record, Mission tortilla strips did it right.

by **Bakemaster** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:13 am UTC

DuSTman wrote:

My food is problematic!

This thread really should have ended with that post. You all fail at Whedon-worship. Throw them into the volcano!

by **Likpok** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:22 am UTC

I think salsa is intended to be served in a bowl, rather than from the jar. But, I think the "scoops" type chip fits (I think).

Progress marches on!

by **Lyra Ngalia** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:55 am UTC

Ketzerei wrote:
Lyra Ngalia wrote:But isn't that more veganism than vegetarianism?

Since getting the bones requires killing the animal, no.

My vegan roommate wouldn't eat gelatin, but her vegetarian roommate happily ate Skittles and Jello. Or was that more of a difference in effort being expended?

by **Green9090** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:18 am UTC

Yeah, some (read: a lot) of vegetarians limit their non-consumption of meat to things that are obviously meat. Gelatin is one of those non-obvious animal products. Vegans tend to be more serious, I think, but bones are definitely on the vegetarian level. Vegetarian means you don't kill animals to eat anything, vegan means you don't eat anything that came from a live or dead animal.

by **Pesto** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:25 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:Salads that are full of the suck and lose and more suck? Gelatin salads.

Culinary sacrilege, but quite well engineered.

by **zenten** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:32 pm UTC

Phi wrote:
xooll wrote:triangular tortilla chips and salsa. How the hell can you scoop up salsa with a triangular chip that's wider than the mouth of the salsa jar!? It's madness.

AAAGH This pisses me off too. Usually I just pour some salsa onto the lid and scoop from there. But triangular tortilla chips are bad by design; my mouth can't stretch that far.
And for the record, Mission tortilla strips did it right.

That's why you take it out of the jar first, by pouring it into a bowl.

by **jtniehof** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:02 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote: All you need for tuna salad is tuna, mayonnaise, dill relish, and chopped boiled egg (optional). Salt and pepper also optional.

Scallions. A little celery, if you like. Perhaps some pickled ginger.
(It's 11 and I skipped breakfast today. I shouldn't be reading this thread.)

by **gnomes** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:44 pm UTC

Phi wrote:
xooll wrote:triangular tortilla chips and salsa. How the hell can you scoop up salsa with a triangular chip that's wider than the mouth of the salsa jar!? It's madness.

AAAGH This pisses me off too. Usually I just pour some salsa onto the lid and scoop from there. But triangular tortilla chips are bad by design; my mouth can't stretch that far.
And for the record, Mission tortilla strips did it right.

Mine can!

of course, I usually eat them in three bites.

by **evilbeanfiend** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:12 pm UTC

poorly engineered food cans! the ones with the key you have to unravel the edge with, cept if you lose the key, or if the coil of metal starts unraveling it all goes wrong

by **dubsola** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:12 pm UTC

Alisto wrote:
dubsola wrote:Pho (pronounced 'fur')

No, it's not.

Yar, it be fixed now. Ye scurvy dog.

by **Phenriz** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:17 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:
DuSTman wrote:

My food is problematic!

This thread really should have ended with that post. You all fail at Whedon-worship. Throw them into the volcano!

unfortunately for you, i'm no whedon brownshit.

fuck firefly, yeah, i said it!

Big Whup, wanna fight about it?

by **MFHodge** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

evilbeanfiend wrote:poorly engineered food cans! the ones with the key you have to unravel the edge with, cept if you lose the key, or if the coil of metal starts unraveling it all goes wrong

I didn't know those still existed! Almost every can I buy has a regular pull tab, and the rest are just sealed and you use a can opener.

by **Clerria** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:48 pm UTC

My roommate has a can opener that leaves the cans resealable, naturally. It's pure genius.

by **Alisto** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:07 pm UTC

Phenriz wrote:fuck firefly, yeah, i said it!

Big Whup, wanna fight about it?

I surely hope you are not going to Boston.

by **Clerria** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:09 pm UTC

He's not, he was supposed to come drink with me and get drunk via proxy to the Boston meetup but he cancelled on me.

by **Okita** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:14 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:My roommate has a can opener that leaves the cans resealable, naturally. It's pure genius.

Wait what? I want one of those!

by **Clerria** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:18 pm UTC

Okita wrote:
Clerria wrote:My roommate has a can opener that leaves the cans resealable, naturally. It's pure genius.

Wait what? I want one of those!

Yes! It cuts the outside of the top of the lid, where it's folded over, and so it snaps back on completely sealed after you open it.

by **PatrickRsGhost** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:30 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:My roommate has a can opener that leaves the cans resealable, naturally. It's pure genius.

My parents have, or did have, one of those. It is really cool. It used to be sold only through TV for only $19.95 plus $9.95 shipping and handling! Call now!

I think you can find those at most discount retailers like Wal-Mart or Target, or else stores that specialize in kitchens and kitchen accessories.

by **Phenriz** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:51 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:He's not, he was supposed to come drink with me and get drunk via proxy to the Boston meetup but he cancelled on me.

Sister Gray*, this weekend is "postponed", but i'm down like a clown the weekend after this'n.

*i don't know either

And no i am not going to Baastahn, insufficient means to reach that end.

by **Iamwalrus** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 3:21 am UTC

SexyTalon wrote:Pizza rolls. Horribly designed. I've yet to bite in to one where the back end didn't fire it's entire contents onto my hand/shirt/lap, usually at it's normal temperature (read:Lava) and hurt like hell.

The other option is to pop the entire thing into my mouth and bite... releasing the horrible lava into my mouth directly on to my tongue... and ruining my tastebuds for about a week.

Also -
Hot Pockets, "Apple Pies" from fast food joints, and really any foodstuff that comes with a solid shell filled with some gooey substance that you're supposed to heat up. 9 times out of 10, frozen shell, lava interior.

Oh lawd, I laughed so hard I thought my spleen was going to s'plode.
Also, that is the complete truth. In between the spleen s'plosions, I totally was nodding my head and remembering every experience with them damned things.

Hanyway....Mini Ravioli. The God Blessed Devil, I say. I love regular size, but when I see the mini, I'm like...alright, sure, why not....and I warm them up, smell them, get all excited, then when I put one in my mouth, all I freaking taste is PASTA! WHERE IS MY MEAT?! I remember the first time I ate that crap I screamed that I was jipped of meat.

I wuvs me some meatage, you besta be givin me sum.

xkcd

Poorly engineered foods

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