In other news... (humorous news items, etc)

[mike-l]

Frozen cows in Colorado wilderness park ranger cabin must been blown up, or the cabin burned down.

Oh god, a replay of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t44siFyb4
??

[Inglonias]

Physicist Writes Mathematical Study to Avoid Traffic Ticket

TL;DR: A physics teacher from UCSD got a $400 fine for not stopping at a stop sign, and wrote a 4 page paper to get out of paying it, with such scientifically brilliant phrases as:

..Unfortunately, it is difficult to measure deceleration or acceleration without special tools, but we can roughly estimate it as follows. D.K. was badly sick with cold on that day. In fact, he was sneezing while approaching the stop sign. As a result he involuntary pushed the brakes very hard. Therefore we can assume that the deceleration was close to maximum possible for a car, which is of the order of 10 m/s2 = 22:36 mph/s.

And this at the end:

As a result of this unfortunate coincidence, the O's perception of reality did not properly reflect reality.

Link to a PDF of the paper is here. It's not difficult math. We went over it in our high school AP Physics class.

If I failed to make this clear earlier, this did allow him to get out of paying the ticket.

[Роберт]

Physicist Writes Mathematical Study to Avoid Traffic Ticket

TL;DR: A physics teacher from UCSD got a $400 fine for not stopping at a stop sign, and wrote a 4 page paper to get out of paying it, with such scientifically brilliant phrases as:

..Unfortunately, it is difficult to measure deceleration or acceleration without special tools, but we can roughly estimate it as follows. D.K. was badly sick with cold on that day. In fact, he was sneezing while approaching the stop sign. As a result he involuntary pushed the brakes very hard. Therefore we can assume that the deceleration was close to maximum possible for a car, which is of the order of 10 m/s2 = 22:36 mph/s.

And this at the end:

As a result of this unfortunate coincidence, the O's perception of reality did not properly reflect reality.

Link to a PDF of the paper is here. It's not difficult math. We went over it in our high school AP Physics class.

If I failed to make this clear earlier, this did allow him to get out of paying the ticket.

He's basically saying "I did stop, the police officer was wrong".

It worked for him.
I wonder if it would work for a young African American?

[Nylonathatep]

Frozen cows in Colorado wilderness park ranger cabin must been blown up, or the cabin burned down.

Oh god, a replay of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t44siFyb4
??

Speaking of exploding Whales...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aicIbUvE5tw

Also, Human 0, Racoon 1 in the Green Bin war.


http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/04/19 ... s-round-2/

[juststrange]

Physicist Writes Mathematical Study to Avoid Traffic Ticket

TL;DR: A physics teacher from UCSD got a $400 fine for not stopping at a stop sign, and wrote a 4 page paper to get out of paying it, with such scientifically brilliant phrases as:

..Unfortunately, it is difficult to measure deceleration or acceleration without special tools, but we can roughly estimate it as follows. D.K. was badly sick with cold on that day. In fact, he was sneezing while approaching the stop sign. As a result he involuntary pushed the brakes very hard. Therefore we can assume that the deceleration was close to maximum possible for a car, which is of the order of 10 m/s2 = 22:36 mph/s.

And this at the end:

As a result of this unfortunate coincidence, the O's perception of reality did not properly reflect reality.

While I agree that the Yaris might be able to slam to a stop pulling a little over 1G while braking, I'd like to go on the record as saying there is no way a Yaris can pull over 1G accelerating, even from 0-20mph. Poor judge is bad at math.

Link to a PDF of the paper is here. It's not difficult math. We went over it in our high school AP Physics class.

If I failed to make this clear earlier, this did allow him to get out of paying the ticket.

[maxQ]

TL;DR: A physics teacher from UCSD got a $400 fine for not stopping at a stop sign, and wrote a 4 page paper to get out of paying it, with such scientifically brilliant phrases as:

A couple of things:

a) he drives a Yaris. He deserved the ticket if for nothing else than succumbing to the stereotypical physicist thought model of seeming to care as little as possible about the application of his discipline's accomplishments.

b) According to Section IV, paragraph 2, 4th run-on sentence, he actually attributes the root cause of the officer's misperception to him having a cold. Which has to be, like, #3 on the dumb excuses offered to a judge.

c) Isn't it just a bit arrogant to make a couple WAG estimates of critical parameters (deceleration rates, lengths of unknown makes and models) and fail to offer any mention of uncertainty analysis or sensitivity of those critical parameters to his falsely deterministic answer?

d) what kind of screwed up intersection has two lanes, one with a stop sign and the next lane over doesn't have a stop sign when it's BETWEEN the stop sign and an approaching perpendicular road? I demand to see a google maps of this intersection.

e) the angular velocity curves should not be symmetric, particularly since he assumed he braked at the Yaris' maximum (during an apparent sneeze). He then simply and stupidly reflected it upon acceleration after his "stop". Since he assumed the Yaris is capable of 1g in deceleration, reflecting assumes the Yaris was capable of accelerating at 1g from a stop. 1g of acceleration from a stop is something only WELL-setup drag cars are able to do. Physics assumptions meets real world fail.

[yurell]

I think the assumption was closer to "what acceleration do I need to get out of the ticket", and then work backwards from there.

[ShootTheChicken]

This article isn't actually humorous, but it contains an amazing opening line:

Five centuries after a painting worth $2.5 million was stolen by the Nazis...

Which is a staggering piece of incompetence.

[yurell]

What's a factor of ten between friends?

[Diadem]

It's not even a factor 10. I could almost forgive mixing up centuries and decades. But even then it's 7 decades ago, not 5.

[Soralin]

Five centuries after a painting worth $2.5 million was stolen by the Nazis, the results of their research into time travel was finally uncovered

[bigglesworth]

What was worth $2.5M five centuries ago, anyway? America?

[Diadem]

5 centuries ago America was a few struggling settlements, probably not even worth a thousandth of that figure.

[Zamfir]

A dollar around 1600 was a silver coin with 25 to 30 grammes of pure silver. This was fairly standardized (thalers or pesos are for example similar). So 2.5 million dollar would have contained in the order of 60 to 70 tonnes of silver.

The world's silver production was around 300 tonnes/year, 60% of which from South America. The Spanish Empire derived its power for a noticable part from that money. So, 2.5 million dollar would have at least in the order of magnitude of the yearly budget for an imperial army.

In 1629, Dutch pirate slave trader naval hero Piet Hein managed to capture one of two yearly Spanish silver transport fleets, which carried something fairly close to that amount of silver*. This loss for the Spanish and gain for the Dutch armies was the start of the last major Dutch offensive against Spain, and a substantial part of the current south of the Netherlands was conquered in that offensive. Dutch kids still learn a song about Piet Hein and the silver fleet.

[Diadem]

1600 is 4 centuries ago though, not 5. 5 centuries ago the Americas were a lot less developed. 4 centuries ago they probably were worth 2.5 million dollar.

Though if you ask "What does 2.5 million dollars buy you 4 centuries ago" I have an interesting answer. The Dutch guilder at that time was about 10 grams of silver. So 2.5 million dollars would be 6.3 to 7.5 million guilders. The start up capital of the VOC, the United Dutch East Indies Company, founded in 1602, was 6,424,588 guilders.

So what does 2.5 million dollars buy you 4 centuries ago? The largest, most profitable and most powerful cooperation ever to exist.

[Zamfir]

Let's say the Americas had a P/E of 10. That would put their price, based on silver exports alone, on about 50 million dollar. For the 16th century, before other trade began to grow, that might be a reasonable order-of-magnitude estimate.

Though I guess we should substract costs from the earnings first. Ships, armies, slaves. It starts to add up at some point.

[Diadem]

You mean 17th century, right? Because you were talking about 1629 earlier.

[Djehutynakht]

Physicist Writes Mathematical Study to Avoid Traffic Ticket

TL;DR: A physics teacher from UCSD got a $400 fine for not stopping at a stop sign, and wrote a 4 page paper to get out of paying it, with such scientifically brilliant phrases as:

I wonder if he can distribute this in customizeable form.

[addams]

You mean 17th century, right? Because you were talking about 1629 earlier.

Did anyone consider the time traveling Nazi? They pop up at the strangest times. Cause a bunch of trouble. Take the good shit, then, disappear back into the mist.

Spoiler:

Homeland Security did a good thing? We need some fact checking on that.
Homeland Security=Bad to the Bone.
Homeland Security would know a bad painting from a ancient treasure? How?

Strange and funny.

Spoiler:

It's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist
- Bernard Woolley in Yes, Prime Minister

I looked Bernard Woolley up in Wiki. Was he having a temper tantrum?

The one above seems like such an inside joke. What would bring a person so say such a thing?

I found the following line. It is so funny. It stands alone. What a great line! Some one wrote that line. [i]Is it a common expression that was poignant in the situation?

When Hacker once asked his Private Secretary where his loyalty would lie when the chips were down, Woolley replied, "Minister, it's my job to see the chips stay up."

- Bernard Woolley

It is Everyone's job is to see that the chips stay up. Some people fail miserably. If you let a five year old serve the chips, expect some chips down.[/i]

[Lostdreams]

A new day has begun. You turn on the television and begin to watch your favorite morning show. Next you pour yourself a glass of orange juice and start to make the rest of your breakfast: a little egg, a slice of toast with jam; how about some sausage with that?

[addams]

A new day has begun. You turn on the television and begin to watch your favorite morning show. Next you pour yourself a glass of orange juice and start to make the rest of your breakfast: a little egg, a slice of toast with jam; how about some sausage with that?

So, funny.

Mommy? What are the 'News Guys' doing?

Oh, Same shit; different day; Honey.
Get Dressed!

As she looks over her shoulder on the way out of the house, she does notice that it is not the usual back drop for the news. It was informative. Right?

The world is hard enough to understand first thing in the morning.
It is the first thing in the morning thing. It cracks me up.

Who are these people? And; Why are they Fucking in my kitchen?

Spoiler:

I hate that. Don't you? I don't like people to cook nude in my kitchen. I have walked in on it.


True story. I walked into my kitchen and found a fat man naked cooking bacon. He would jump and say 'oww.' and then go on cooking. So, weird. I watched for a while. I laughed. I am still laughing. Then, I offered him an apron. He liked it. The apron was his friend.

I have seen it more than once. I walked down the stairs and a different man was in the kitchen naked cooking. He was not cooking bacon. So, I sat down on the stairs and watched for a while. I took a photo, that time.

I offered him an apron. He wanted no part of it. He seemed to know what he was doing. I ate something else.

[lutzj]

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2012/04/23/man-dies-after-peeing-on-l-tracks-in-evanston/

EVANSTON, Ill. (CBS) — An Indiana man died overnight, after coming into contact with the electrified third rail as he urinated on the Purple Line ‘L’ tracks in Evanston.

Apparently it works exactly the way it does in cartoons.

[Iulus Cofield]

I know a few people who claim to have been shocked from urinating on electric fences. This guy seems to have come into direct contact with the electrified rail, though.

[Djehutynakht]

North Korea threatens to be able to reduce South Korea to ashes in four minutes, a week after a failed rocket test and soon before a suspected third nuclear test.

Kim Jong-Un, you have proved yourself well to the generals as the leader of the people.

(In all honesty though all of this would be a big thumbs-up for Kim from the generals, so he may be trying to solidify his rule. He doesn't seem as insane).

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/envoy/north ... 20861.html

[SlyReaper]

Doesn't he? I know everyone is hoping he'll come good in the end, but that just seems like wishful thinking at this point.

[addams]

Commercial Pilot dives to avoid Venus. The incident was in January, but the Canadaian Transportation Safety Board released their report about it yesterday.

If I was a passenger on that plane I'd be thankful we did not crash into Venus. Venus is very hot.

Yeah. O.K. Venus is hot.

The poor guy. Have you never ducked at a shadow?

Better the shadow ducked at than the pole unseen. The poles in the city are gray, like, everything else.

They are like trees with no branches till way high up there. Or; Not at all. Just poles. No reason. They each MUST have a reason of some kind.

But; Fuck. It could take a long time to get any where if each pole and brick along the way, every single one, must be understood down to its roots.

Spoiler:

I wrote a joke.
The physisits in a Mystical mood walked into a Bar.
Fuck. That is funny, right there.
(Related to the invisible poles that some people walk into.)

One says to the other, Do you know what that is?
The Other; Yes, At its most fundemental level, I do.
But; I don't know When we are or Why we are Here Now.

[AvatarIII]

not really "news" but on a news site and quite fascinating.

"What's harder than telling your parents that you're gay? Telling your children"

When Fiona Shaw and her husband separated, each began a relationship with a same-sex partner. Here, she and her two daughters recall how they adapted to their new family life

Spoiler:

Fiona: The break up of my marriage and my coming out seven years ago happened when my children were just into secondary school. None of this came out of the blue – but for my children this was the first time their parents had spoken about anything they might have sensed or guessed at. They had to take on explicitly these two different, but connected, things at the same moment.

During that time, I knew the hardest thing for my daughters was the fact of their parents splitting up, rather than us both having same-sex partners. It was a terrible time for every- one: for their father, for me, and for them. But there was another dimension to what I was telling them that most children whose parents split up don't have to deal with. I was aware that at the moment that I struggled to step out of a closet, I might be building one for them.

How would they deal with this at school? What would they, could they say to their friends? Would they be ridiculed, stigmatised, whispered about, worse? In the ruthless, take-no-hostages corridors of their secondary schools, this thing would be far harder to have known than their parents' breakup. Of course I knew other separated couples who had to tell their children they'd no longer be living together. But none of them had to say: "Well my child, the thing is, I'm straight."

I was keen to be honest with mine about the person I was close to. So I was explicit about my partner Karen being important to me from the start. But I didn't want to make their lives more difficult than they had to be, and for quite a time Karen and I were discreet about our relationship. I also spoke to their schools about this, because I was concerned that they didn't get bullied about it.

One person I did think about during that time was my beloved uncle, who had died, too young, in 2004, and who was the inspiration for a character in my latest novel. After the birth of his daughter, he lived as a gay man for the rest of his life.

He was a passionate and devoted father, and when I was growing up, I used to wonder how he and she had navigated this territory. Now I've lived through my own experience of the closet, I can see how complicated it can be.

Fiona Shaw's latest novel is 'A Stone's Throw' (Serpent's Tail, £11.99)

Jesse, 19:

Oddly, we were never directly told that our parents were moving into gay relationships. We were told that they were breaking up, but never explicitly that they were gay. We both certainly knew; I'm not sure how, but there was no question. Looking back, I can remember telling a slightly non-plussed friend that I thought Mum was in love with her friend, and Dad was in love with his. This was about a week before they told us that they were splitting up, I was about 12 at the time.

I was pretty passive throughout the break-up. For a while I thought I'd feel it later in life, maybe when Eliza was less upset over it; I think it's hard for families to hold too much fraught emotion at one time – people tend to balance each other out. Not living with both of my parents was very hard, all the usual divorce drama, but Mum being gay didn't upset me – truth be told, her sexuality was never an issue for me.

But I was a little nervous of making my parents' situation public knowledge at first. I told a couple of my closest friends, but I didn't mention it to most of them for months. I'm now not sure if I was waiting for the right time, or if I was scared of how they might react. Eventually I ended up doing it on the spur of the moment: I had a group of friends round for pizza, and Mum's partner was in the kitchen, making us the pizza but keeping out of our way, staying out of the picture.

When I realised what she was doing, I saw how ridiculous it was that I hadn't told them. I was fine with Mum's sexuality, and so my friends would have to be. I grabbed Karen's hand and introduced her to my friends. It was quite funny, there was a pause, and then they all started introducing themselves very quickly. Nowadays, I try to let people know as soon as possible, to avoid embarrassment for them later, and to see if they're OK with it. Nearly everyone is, and the few that aren't, aren't worth knowing.

Eliza, 21:

I took the news of Mum coming out very hard. I think it brought me suddenly face to face with my mum's identity, not as a parent but as a person.

The idea of my parents having a sexual identity outside of the assumed familial form felt humiliating for me, aged 14, and I found my own humiliation very hard to understand or bear. I think one part of me was ashamed and terrified that I might be homophobic, and it took time to realise that that wasn't it – I was terrified of having a family whose shape there was no category to describe.

I didn't know how to place any of us as a unit, or understand how I might fit into the new situation.

Many of my experiences, looking back, were similar to any child whose parents separate, but I think it was easier for me to focus on the stigma I saw so rigidly attached to being "different". I became painfully closeted about my family – something that Mum probably found hard at a time when she was just coming "out of the closet".

It took a long time for me to talk to my friends about my parents' homosexuality. When I did I found that people were overwhelmingly supportive, and were interested rather than judgemental. We have built up new rituals; with my parents' separate partners but also all together. We spend time as a six quite often. I often feel like we all have a lot to celebrate: we have built a sort of family; it took a lot of work and several years of chaos.

[Iulus Cofield]

That seems like it would be an awkward situation. I'm not really sure how I would handle suddenly finding out my parents were not the sexual orientation I'd been led to believe my whole life. Much less how I would react to something like that in middle school.

[addams]

That seems like it would be an awkward situation. I'm not really sure how I would handle suddenly finding out my parents were not the sexual orientation I'd been led to believe my whole life. Much less how I would react to something like that in middle school.

Really? I can not leave that alone.
I have heard people; Adult people all upset about the sex lives of their parents.

That really is none of a child's business. Sex education? Yes! Sticking your opinions into what your parents do for fun? Nah.

A good child would be happy that the parents are sexually active. It gives the child a better chance. Really.
Not only is Nice and Not Nice woven into that DNA so is, "Hey. I'm bored. What do you want to do?"

Middle School people are freaked out by sex. Fascinated and Freaked Out. The idea of parents doing and wanting to do...Oh My God!...

Other people have sex. Your parents have 'Fields of Flowers'. Lots and lots of Flowers.

[CorruptUser]

That seems like it would be an awkward situation. I'm not really sure how I would handle suddenly finding out my parents were not the sexual orientation I'd been led to believe my whole life. Much less how I would react to something like that in middle school.

I'd be more shocked if I found out my parents had sex at all, especially with each other. I'm convinced that it was my generation that invented sex. Prior to that, it was just sodomy and bestiality involving storks or something.

Spoiler:

[AvatarIII]

the youngest of the 2 girls was 12, we're not talking 8 year olds here, 12 year olds are already pretty well educated in sex, in the UK at least.

[Nylonathatep]

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/artic ... eport?bn=1

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/04/25 ... oel-allen/

[addams]

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1167569--woman-starved-to-death-trying-to-live-on-sunlight-alone-report?bn=1

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/04/25 ... oel-allen/

Well; That explains the dogs that go with your posts. You, just, drop 'em and run.

Some of us can only view text. I fall into that set from time to time and that is on a good day.

I was able to see the Tree House. It is a lovely thing.
Here; Want some more?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&clie ... tAbbv6H_AQ

Have you ever slept in a tree house? I have. Loads. There is a place in Georgia, US that has tree houses. Did that. One of them moved with the wind. It was my favorite.
In my experence they are cold. The air is not trapped between the structure and the ground.

In hot climates that is one of their charms.

[ShortChelsea]

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/25/11391743-tennessee-teen-i-was-banned-from-prom-over-confederate-flag-dress?lite

Not sure if it's humorous, but a girl was banned from her prom because her dress had a confederate flag on it.

[buddy431]

Metta World Peace suspended for seven games for elbowing James Harden.

The only funny thing is a guy named World Peace hitting people (not the first time, but I think the first under his new name).

[addams]

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/25/11391743-tennessee-teen-i-was-banned-from-prom-over-confederate-flag-dress?lite

Not sure if it's humorous, but a girl was banned from her prom because her dress had a confederate flag on it.

O.K. That is a tough one. Girl is creative. She is integrating the history of her people into her life. She is young. I have no idea.

That flag is a great deal like the old German Swastika.
It is a symbol. What is means can change. She may be the change she wants to see in the world and it may be a good thing.

I know that men have a different kind of relationship to that symbol. When a man has that flag on his gun rack and on his plate holder for his truck and on his belt buckle and on his hat. Well; This is an obsessive compulsive or Something.

Humans have a need to belong. The flag tells people that they belong or do not belong.
Humans have a need to be a part of something larger than themselves. The flag makes people feel a part so something. This girl may want that something else to be a good thing. It is a part of her world.

I think that it is a Black American vs White American symbol. It does not have to be that way. It is, just, a symbol. What it means is what we all agree that it means.

Artists are interesting. This was art. She may not know what she is attempting to say. I can not tell from the article what statement that she was making. Is she for them or against them? That may be the reason the dress was banned. The whole party could have devolved into a new Civil War.

[Iulus Cofield]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/23/perkins-slams-mike-and-ike-for-turning-gay-and-sexualizing-candy/

Some guy attacks Mike and Ikes for promoting homosexuality. Really stretching it there, champ.

[krogoth]

addams, You don't say that you knew these naked men cooking in your kitchen, just that they were... What setting is it that random men would be in your kitchen and you content to let them cook while?

[addams]

addams, You don't say that you knew these naked men cooking in your kitchen, just that they were... What setting is it that random men would be in your kitchen and you content to let them cook while?

Spoiler:

I had a guest house. Other people used the kitchen. Lots of other people used the kitchen. Most had clothes on.
It was the ones without clothes that are memorable on some level.
Only men. (Shrug.) Is there a reason for that? Or; Is my sample size too small?

Each person that stayed at my house was memorable. I asked other men. Yep. It is more common than I would have guessed. Cooking Naked?

No sex. I did not walk in on sex in the kitchen. Everyone had a room of their own for that. Cooking was a kitchen kind of thing.

I would not cook naked. It seems like a stupid thing to do. I have seen it. People.

Yes. I have asked people to cover up that ugliness. I am not comfortable with nudity. I am not all that uncomfortable with it. It is distracting. Clothes can be distracting, too.

There were two guys that wore shorts all the time. After fifty the human knee is kind of ugly.

There was one Fat Man that was more creepy than most. One time on my sofa and we had problems. eww. The kitchen can be cleaned. The sofa? Yuck.

Most people are nice and a joy to have around.

[AvatarIII]

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/25/11391743-tennessee-teen-i-was-banned-from-prom-over-confederate-flag-dress?lite

Not sure if it's humorous, but a girl was banned from her prom because her dress had a confederate flag on it.

what i don't get is why more people than just her were told to leave.