[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

[sophyturtle]

I don't think it should be much worse than for people who have not had children since sex does not make your cervix like 'Hi! I'm open now!'
If you have had a GYN exam it should not be much worse. Except the whole 'things in the cervix' thing.

[Enuja]

I've heard that a lot of doctors won't fit you for an IUD if you're a virgin and if they do, it tends to be very painful and difficult if not impossible. Does anyone know if there's truth to that?

If you've never been pregnant, your uterus is a bit less flexible, and therefore somewhat more likely to be perforated during the insertion of an IUD. So "nulliparious" women have had trouble getting IUDs in the past, and it makes sense to go to an OBGYN who does a lot of IUD insertions and therefore knows what they are doing. However, I've never heard anything bad about IUDs and virgins, in particular. I think sophyturtle is completely correct. Also, I'm pretty sure that one of the regular posters on this thread got an IUD as a virgin: if I remember correctly, it wasn't the most pleasant experience in her life, but she's really happy with the results.

[Cathy]

While I was not a virgin when I got my Mirena IUD, (I had actually had a condom break the night before... funny enough the IUD works about as well as the morning after pill, so my obgyn said) I have never been pregnant. They gave me a local-pain injection in my cervix, inserted the thing, and then I sat up and walked out. The pain hit about 20 minutes later, hurt about the same as moderate menstrual cramps, and it hasn't hurt since. I'm very very pleased with my Mirena IUD.

It's a very worry-free thing. I was warned away from the pill and the depo shot/implant due to my mood issues (depression, anxiety), but my ObGyn felt confident suggesting the Mirena because it is local hormones in very small doses over a long amount of time. The way she put it, it "builds up" instead of hitting you all at once like the pill and shot do.

While my periods have not lightened or become less painful, it has done what I was looking for - worry free sex with protection from pregnancy.

[Sungura]

I've heard that a lot of doctors won't fit you for an IUD if you're a virgin and if they do, it tends to be very painful and difficult if not impossible. Does anyone know if there's truth to that?

The myth is more about having been pregnant before than being a virgin. And both are false. I was a virgin when I got my IUD (Mirena) and there were no issues. The gyno said it was a textbook insertion. Additionally, I am very small...the gyno did exclaim "holyshit you are tiny!!!" when she first looked. So uh...speaking as a tiny virgin haha, I had no issues.

The trick is more finding a doctor used to inserting IUD's. If you are in the US try planned parenthood they seem to (in general) have very good experience with the process. Every one I've been to so far (had to use two different ones in MI, and now I'm in AL) has had set days for IUD insertion so we're talking weekly practice here with the procedure. If the gyno tells you they can't becuase you are a virgin, or can't because you've never had a kid, they don't know what they are doing so that solves that! If they have any experience with IUDs and are good with them, they will tell you it's fine. You can use that as your gauge.

For my insertion they used a local lidocaine injection (and what i understand word-of-mouth between those I know who didn't have the lidocane and those who did, having it makes the insertion much easier) which may sound scary but honestly it bothered me less than a pap smear does. There was a bit of slight cramping during the insertion but focusing on breathing and relaxing my core fixed that. I walked out and drove the hour home. It was about then I got hit with the "rollercoaster cramps" but the worst of the cramping was much less than period cramps so it wasn't really bothersome.

Benefits of my Mirena? Well very slight and short periods (down from 10-12 days of constant Niagara Falls to 2-3 days of spotting with about an hour of steady flow), BC I dont have to worry about (and I've been told by some guys, ones that know of IUDs, they prefer IUD's because some girls lie about being on bc as they want to get pregnant but you can't lie about an iud! which...holyshit I never knew some lied about that!), and it's good for 5 years! No daily/weekly/monthly thing to worry about. And I've not had any side effects from it. If anything, my mood and health is way better not bleeding that much and getting anemic and being crabby from all the cramping! haha.

[natraj]

(and I've been told by some guys, ones that know of IUDs, they prefer IUD's because some girls lie about being on bc as they want to get pregnant but you can't lie about an iud! which...holyshit I never knew some lied about that!)

while i am sure that out there somewhere there exist a few women who have done this, i think that this is far more prevalent as a myth of evil scheming women trying to TRAP a man (because obviously there is no other reason/way to get men to Commit and it is always women who want the Commitment anyway) than it is prevalent as an actual factual thing that women do.

i also have a mirena! and i love it for being BC that i do not have to worry about. my experiences with it otherwise have been mixed. insertion was basically agony, i couldn't do anything for the next two days because i was just curled up in a ball cramping. i wanted it also because it can often help make periods lighter/easier and mine are always excruciating, and it has helped a teeny bit with that in that they last slightly shorter, but they are not much noticeably lighter and still pretty excruciating; additionally, i have mild level cramping recurring basically all the time even outside of bleeding-days, just all through the month. and here and there a random day of spotting. i never used to have spotting or cramping outside of the actual days of Shark Week.

so, it is different for everyone! but very convenient in terms of BC for sure.

[Sungura]

Sometimes I will notice spotting mid-cycle, I tracked it a while back and it seems to line up with when I ovulate.

[natraj]

huh, i wonder if that is the same for me. i am always really bad at tracking my cycle because it is wicked irregular and always has been. it is slowly getting more regular the longer i have the mirena though, so maybe i can do that and see if the spotting lines up too.

[meridian]

I just had my mirena inserted.

and now I am back at work.

what the **** was I thinking? I mean, I'm glad about the IUD, but why did I think it was soo important to continue work?

Spoilered for more detailed visceral reactions for day of issues. (some trigger warnings)

Spoiler:

This is the story of a less than perfect/textbook insertion. It's probably helpful for someone, so I'll write it up.

First, I got a double header, annual exam/pap smear and IUD insertion. Fun thing to know, you get tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and pregnancy when you go in. yay! (It was about time for all of that anyway.) After the initial weight/bloodpressure things, I was left to change and wait for the clinician. They left me waiting for 50 minutes in my effectively naked state. They said there was an emergency that came up and they apologized, but I probably wasn't as relaxed as I could have been. Started getting paranoid that they were looking for some type of counselor to tell me I was pregnant/had HIV. (I have neither condition.)

My clinician was Rebecca (I don't know her actual professional title/degree as I didn't ask, but I trust the people at PP). She did the standard vitals check (lymph nods, lungs, heart), then a breast exam. Finally pap smear and whatever they call the pressure on the uterus check. She claimed to not find my uterine fibroid, so I guess that's good news!

Think I did not know going in: They use the biggest speculum they have during the insertion procedure. I had that thing in me for what felt like forever.

Things I've never noticed before: Blood. There's blood in a pap smear? WTF? I looked at the implements when I was bored in my room for ages and noticed that there were some weird brushes. So I paid attention this time. When she pulled them out, they were definitely red. They went into a cup thing and were mixed up/cleaned. Erg. I probably shouldn't have looked.

I did not get any lidocaine. I forgot to ask about it. Possibly should have. There are three steps, stabilizing the cervix, measuring the uterus, insertion. Each one intensified cramping (plus the pressure on my bladder wasn't fun either). When she stuck the last part in (the IUD), it was so intense of cramping, I was digging nails into my skin. Also, my first insertion didn't stick. (Yes, I said first insertion.) When that came out, it was also coated with the red stuff. This is when it really started to bug me. She left the speculum in when she left to grab another IUD package. We got through the second insertion as carefully, yet quickly as possible (because I did not want a third) and then she removed everything painfully slowly.

In the end, I was shaky. I dressed (and put on a pad) before going to the restroom. Guess what? this pretty much jump starts a period. Ugh, I feel like so much crap. Rebecca brought me ginger ale and crackers and sat with me until I felt better. Then I walked out, got on a bus and went to work. Now I feel like I'm having my worst period ever and I just want to hide in bed. The Clinician said that any manipulation of the cervix (like they do during the insertion of an IUD) can have systemic responses that are similar to the physical reaction to being in a car accident.

I'll feel better after I sleep, I think. right now, I'm counting the hours until I can take another 800mg of ibuprofen.

[Cathy]

Big hugs your way. I'm sorry it's hurting so bad!

You know, if you pm me your mailing address, I will send you yummies and something happy. <3 If you're not comfortable with that it's totally ok!

[mochafairy]

meridian, I'm sorry. That sounds terrible. I hope your day gets better.

*offers hugs and internet yummies*

[Amie]

*hugs* for meridian. I'm so sorry

You know, if you pm me your mailing address, I will send you yummies and something happy. <3 If you're not comfortable with that it's totally ok!

Cathy, I now declare you to be an awesome person, by the powers vested in me by nobody, really.

[meridian]

Thank you, everyone, for your support. I really appreciate it. I was actually able to go home early and I am kind of living in bed for the time being. The cramping is still around, but I'm still not regretting the process. I mostly wrote up my reflections on the procedure for people like me who want to know all the details so they are braced for them.

One thing I forgot to mention, which might be of interest to PicSar, when I asked my clinician about weight gain with the mirena, she said that because the hormones were localized to the uterus, it was less likely to affect the body as a whole, like the pill or the implant. Then, of course, she disclaimed that everyone reacts differently and there's the possibility of gaining or loosing 5lbs, but she was trying to be encouraging.

[lucrezaborgia]

I'm the only woman on an all-male crew that unloads trucks for a major retail story. I am getting so.much.shit. from them for stupid things. One of them actually said to me "why would you pick this job if you can't move as fast as we can?" IE: Because I can't pull 400+ lb pallets at the speed of light after only 3 weeks on the job and over a year of sitting on my ass. Then there is all the other typical shit.

"You sure you can lift that?"
"You are mouthy"
"You know that pallet is heavy right?"

[PAstrychef]

I worked as the only woman on the shop floor for many years. The best thing I found was to ignore most of the comments, just do the work. After they see you doing the work, most will just shut up. I often had the conversation that started with "you know that's heavy, right?" then I got to tell them that yes, it was heavy, and if they moved out of my way I could put it down where it belonged, but as I was standing around being talked at, holding the heavy thing, obviously I was capable of doing so.
When the sex comments got really bad and the pictures of naked or scantily-clad women became really a bit much, I put up some shots of naked guys. A week later the shop got repainted and a no-pictures policy put in place.
Alas, there will be assholes at any job. If they don't seem to faze you and you don't whinge about it at work, as soon as there is a newer hire they will stop focusing on you. It can be a difficult call about talking to HR about harassment. Younger assholes will back off, but older ones will decide that being told that acting like a douche is unacceptable means you have ruined everything, and will become sly and cunning about what they do, making an unpleasant situation truly untenable.
You can admit that you're a bit out of shape and ask for weight-training tips. And drop a few pallets on a few toes "accidentally".

[Shro]

Another Mirena thing re: weight loss.

I was able to lose about 20 lbs in 2 years while I've had the Mirena.

[Ashlah]

When the sex comments got really bad and the pictures of naked or scantily-clad women became really a bit much, I put up some shots of naked guys. A week later the shop got repainted and a no-pictures policy put in place.

That is fantastic.

[lucrezaborgia]

My biggest issue now is this one guy who keeps telling me that I'm not moving fast enough.

"You aren't done with X yet?!?"

Yet he's not my supervisor in any capacity. Another issue I have is that I was in a 2 week coma a few years back so it takes me a while to get a routine going on in my head as I have issues with short term memory so I tend to ask the same things over and over. I've explained this to the guy but he seems to forget. Some of the other guys are much nicer and I always thank everyone for helping me and being patient with me when I ask questions. This one guy however isn't patient at all and is very flippant towards me if I ask him anything and is hyper critical of practically anything I do.

The other new guy who started ONE DAY BEFORE ME tho has fit perfectly into their little manly clique even though he's slower than I am on the line tho he pulls pallets faster. Then again he's got about a foot of height on me and is stronger. I'm slowly getting the hang of the strength issues just by working my butt off and insisting that they don't help me unless I ask them to or unless they see me doing something dangerous or against company policy.



Nothing sexual at all tho thank heck!

[Shro]

GUYS


ALL THE STEAMPUNK CORSETS ARE ON SALE. They have black and silver ones now too!

[Sungura]

Meridian - *hugs* I'm sorry it is so rough!! I hope you are feeling better today.

spoilered for related but unhelpful now

Spoiler:

I wish I could find some study on it, but by word-of-mouth stories ones like yours for the iud insertions are so much more common for those who didn't get the lidocaine. As in...everyone I know who had a shitty insertion didn't get the lidocaine and everyone who did it went fine. Sample size about 12, 5 non-lidocaine rest lidocaines. Anyone thinking of getting one...really recommend the lidocaine.

ALSO Gee Willikers CORSETS i wish I had like $150 to blow right now and get a skirt and corset. I don't though. I need to get a new cave helmet and I dont even have money for that. Priorities...ugh.

[Enuja]

Right now I work overnights at a large retailer, and most of the employees are female. They always put guys on the truck, taking the loose boxes out of the truck and putting them on the line, and usually have guys pull the heavy pallets on the truck. But the line is always majority female. They try to put guys on the part of the line with all the boxes of detergent, but that doesn't always work out (I've been on that part of the line, and quite enjoyed it). I keep planning to ask to be put on the truck, but I'm working two jobs right now, and all of the box-handling gloves I see (and that get handed out at work) are way too big for my hands. Right now I'm planning on waiting until I'm only working one job, am exercising outside of work regularly, and have good box handling gloves that fit, to ask to be put on the truck. Even just being on the line (and moving the pallets to the floor, and getting the product from the pallets to the shelves), my arms are visibly more buff, which I really, really like. Honestly, most of the sexism at my job seems to come from women trying to avoid the heavier labor, which turns me off. But I have a tendency to get injured (too gung ho, not enough exercise training), so I'm not going to volunteer for the heaviest labor without ramping up towards it (which I've certainly done so far).

[Cassi]

On IUD insertion:
Mine went incredibly smoothly. I took a couple ibuprofen about a half hour before, but they didn't give me anything there. The entire procedure, from walking in to walking out, was probably only about 15 minutes, with the actual insertion taking all of maybe 2. There was no real pain, just a bit of a sharp pinch at one point (which I was warned of). I was completely terrified tbh, as I hate doctors at the best of times, but I focused really hard on my breathing and relaxing as much as possible. The doctor and nurse were really good, and I couldn't have possibly asked for better. They did comment on how smoothly it went, and said they wished it was always that easy, so I do realise I am probably not exactly a typical case...

[Sungura]

I did some more searching and found this...the lidocaine + coughing exactly describes the procedure used for me.

A nonsterile bimanual exam determines size, position and uterocervical angulation. Under sterile conditions the cervix is then visualized with a sterile speculum. Because IUD insertion is painful and can cause syncope, the cervix should be frozen before the tenaculum is applied, a very simple procedure to perform. A 1 cc to 2 cc injection of 1% lidocaine is given through a long spinal needle to raise a superficialbleb at the 12 o’clock position on the anterior cervix. Having the patient cough as you inject prevents them from having pain from the injection and not seeing the syringe also helps. Alternatives include 5% lidocaine gel or 20% benzacaine spray (with extended nozzle) for five seconds.

I also found this article which does proport that local anesthesia does...you know...make things not painful. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12262140

The described technique is simple, low cost, requires no special equipment, and adds no more than 30-60 seconds to insertion time. Patients do not feel the injection of local anesthetic solution. The advantages of using a local anesthetic are as follows: 1) minimal discomfort felt during insertion; 2) postinsertion cramping is eliminated or greatly reduced; 3) elimination of cervical shock or vasovagal reaction during or just after insertion; 4) maximal patient cooperation allowing easier attainment of absolute no touch technique and ensuring correct placement of the device; 5) reduction in recovery and resting time following insertion; and 6) a positive influence on patient acceptance of the device due to pain-free insertion.

And this one that talks about intricate differences in IUDs and also suggests "dude, use local anesthesia because this is a great method but it hurts so use medicine available so it doesnt!" heh. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17531623

[mochafairy]

So, this actually looks like a neat idea, and I thought that it'd be a cool thing for my cyborg parts, but they don't have sizes for those of us with large kitten shelves.

Sizing Info:

Small: Accommodates most women who wear 32A, 32B, or 34A.

Medium: Accommodates most women who wear 32C or 34B.

Large: Accommodates most women who wear 32D, 34C, or 36B.

By that standard, I'd need like a XXL. Poop.


I just felt the need to rant, but thought I'd share in case the sizing does work out for someone here.

[Cassi]

You know, the thing is, I'm a 34D, and I really don't feel like my chest is that large. But maybe it's just because I'm tall and have a fairly wide build, so they just don't seem large in proportion? But yea, I do quite like that idea and would be considering it if my size was an option...

[Cathy]

I'm also 34-D but I'm short and rather thin-ish so they look large-ish on me. Proportional, but large. So I've been told. They occasionally feel obnoxiously large (often when trying to find dresses that fit!!) but most of the time they seem pretty normal to me.

I'm really pretty disappointed that that the joey bra has such small sizes...

[mochafairy]

It's not the small sizes that bug me, it's that I'd like more sizes available, for women of every shape and size.

[Sungura]

You could probably easily stitch on a pocket onto the band of a bra you currently have. Looking at the photos it seems like all they do is have a double layered side band. I think it would be annoying for a phone or something, actually, because it is on your side you arm is gonna always hit it. But yeah...get some stretchy fabric from the store and even just handstitch it on. Should be an easy edit to any existing bra, could try it on an older bra first to get the sewing down right if you are worried about it.

[cephalopod9]

oh dang, why stop at one pocket?

Utility Bra

[PAstrychef]

Just imagine trying to answer that phone! Perhaps the makers of that product assume that the natural cleavage of the kitten shelf will hold the necessary items.

[mochafairy]

oh dang, why stop at one pocket?

Utility Bra

I am...Batwoman!

[Cathy]

It's not the small sizes that bug me, it's that I'd like more sizes available, for women of every shape and size.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. It just seems like 32-36 ABC is a pretty tiny range of bra sizes...

[eaglewings51]

Spoilered for totally off topic.

Spoiler:

I have a job interview in 45 minutes! I'm so excited! I've been applying for a job for this summer for weeks and I've gotten three "Sorry, we don't want you" type letters but yesterday, I got a call for an interview! It's such a load off my mind. No, it's not a job but they got back to me within three days and set up an interview asap. And it's a load off my mind that I've gotten a favorable response. It's only a week and a half until the semester's over.

[mochafairy]

eaglewings51--Congrats! I hope it goes well!

[UniqueScreenname]

oh dang, why stop at one pocket?

Utility Bra

I am...Batwoman!

This is amazing.

[Apparently Anonymous]

Ok, so I finally decided to try out the pill that the doctor prescribed. From what I've understood from the package, I'm supposed to wait until I have Shark Week again, then the pill will work right away - if I don't, the pill won't work for the next few weeks. I'd never heard about this, have I misunderstood something or is that how it is with most pills? The one I've gotten is called Aida, it's apparently the same as the (at least here) more well-known yasminelle.

[Ashlah]

What exactly do you mean by "work"? Work as a contraceptive? I'm pretty sure with all birth control pills, you have to take them for at least a few weeks (a full cycle? It's been a while since I started...) before they can be considered reliable birth control. That is, you should use a second form of birth control when you first start taking them, no matter when in the cycle it is that you start.

The reason for starting right after a period (as far as I understand it), is just so that the cycle you are trying to make your body have will line up, at least somewhat, with the cycle your body is already having. (For example, you wouldn't want to start the three weeks of active pills the week before you're supposed to have your naturally occurring period. Your body is already building up towards the period, and I imagine there would be a high chance of breakthrough bleeding were you to do that.)

With that said, I am by no means an expert, and I'm sure others will come in with knowledge and evidence, and either support me or prove me wrong I hope your pill works for you!

[Apparently Anonymous]

Yeah, I meant to work as a contraceptive.

In instructions that came with the pills it says (in German, not my native language, but here's a rough translation):
"Start taking the pill on day 1 of your cycle. If you start taking the pill on day 1, the protection will be present at once. You can also start taking the pill on the 2.-5. day of the cycle, however in this case you will have to use an additional birth control method (e.g. a condom) for the first 7 days. "

[Ashlah]

I stand corrected then! I'm glad. I still think my doc told me it wasn't immediately effective, but that was five years ago, it was a different pill, and I wasn't sexually active and probably wasn't paying attention :p

[Plasmic-Turtle]

Yep I believe that's how it is with most pills, too.
I'm not sure what happens with regard to effectiveness if you started say on day 6 or day 7 of your cycle... but as Ashlah said it's probably not something your body would be overly good with, and when I've done that in the past I did get spotting.
Hope you don't have too long a wait until Shark Week, would be annoying!

[Apparently Anonymous]

Well, mine just finished, so I guess I chose a bit of a bad time to get it...
Ah well. I was hoping I could start with it right away, mostly to see how I react to it so that I might have the possibility to stop taking it before the next sports competition (especially anxious about weight gain, I have to wear a tight gymnastics unitard...), but now that I think about it I guess it'd have been too little time to really know how I react to it anyway - it's just 2,5 weeks until that.