[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

[natraj]

I hope that goes well.

Spoiler:

They teach you to inject "quick like a dart." I almost couldn't be cleared to do it myself (I live over an hour away from the clinic) because I can't inject myself quickly. Eventually the nurse allowed me to do it slowly, like I had asked, and that was successful. I still can't do it quick. One time, the needle accidentally went in too quick, and my leg muscle spasm-ed and the needle jumped completely out. o_o Nowadays, one of my partners injects me in the buttocks, and it's much less painful. ^_^

Spoiler:

my doctor said to do it whatever pace i wanted, just make it smooth. i did fairly quick though i think, but it was not even slightly painful, i literally couldnt even feel it until the plastic of the syringe pressed against my thigh. maybe i have very insensitive legs or something, hmm. also i think i ama really used to needles, not from injecting myself with anything but i was a vet tech for a while and got really used to handling injections for pets! it doesn't help with pain or anything but it helped to just be really familiar with the process.

anyway, i just got out of the clinic after my first t injection. it was exactly like the becoming-a-supersoldier scene in captain america except i wasn't strapped down. but i took the injection and bam, six inches taller immediately, 100 extra pounds of pure muscle. i left the clinic and promptly outran some cars to get a little old man his purse back from a mugger, and then saved the world from nazi mad scientists.

note, the t injection might also have included timetravel.

[Monika]

I had an awesome dream that I'm considering turning into a short story, only it involves lots of mythology and so I'm worried I would get something horribly wrong out of ignorance.

I want to read it also with all the wrong mythology .

[Monika]

anyway, i just got out of the clinic after my first t injection. it was exactly like the becoming-a-supersoldier scene in captain america except i wasn't strapped down. but i took the injection and bam, six inches taller immediately, 100 extra pounds of pure muscle. i left the clinic and promptly outran some cars to get a little old man his purse back from a mugger, and then saved the world from nazi mad scientists.

note, the t injection might also have included timetravel.

Also, finally someone thinks of the little old men whose purses are robbed! Superman and co always only cared about the little old women's purses.

[ArchaicHipster]

Hi.

Spoilered for rambling.

Spoiler:

I'm cis male (if my understanding of the term is correct - identification as the same gender I was assigned at birth, yes?) and 15. I had always thought I was heterosexual, and I'm still fairly sure (I'm in a relationship [my first] with a girl, and I am attracted to women). A couple of months ago, though, I was sitting in class, and it suddenly occurred to me that one of my good (male) friends, whom I was sitting next to, was one of the most attractive people I'd ever seen - almost physically magnetically attractive, to the extent that I had to stop myself from reaching out and kissing him. Indeed, kissing him seemed the natural thing to do (despite the fact that it would freak him out [he is Christian and whilst not being homophobic, has trouble with the idea]), and refraining felt like an unnecessary level of self-control. It hasn't happened again, and hadn't happened before that. I haven't told anyone, and am posting this here because I feel like telling someone, but telling any of my friends runs the risk of them interpreting it as more serious than it is. Advice would be very much appreciated.

TL;DR: teenager is confused about emotions - stop the press!

I had an awesome dream that I'm considering turning into a short story, only it involves lots of mythology and so I'm worried I would get something horribly wrong out of ignorance.

If it's Greek mythology, I might be able to help - I was and am pretty obsessed. Drop me a PM, if you like

[sambot5]

teenager is confused about emotions

Welcome to the club. The best descriptor I've found for myself is saying that I 'like people'.

[Vaniver]

ArchaicHipster:

Spoiler:

I haven't told anyone, and am posting this here because I feel like telling someone, but telling any of my friends runs the risk of them interpreting it as more serious than it is. Advice would be very much appreciated.

Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, three times is a trend.

I would try to push identity concerns out of the way and instead focus on the direct consequences of actions. Imagining it now, would you enjoy making out with this guy? What would happen if you told him about your interest in him? There are some good scenarios- he's interested, you have fun, you see where things go from there- and there are some bad scenarios- he's actively disinterested, your girlfriend gets mad, word gets around, etc.- but those consequences are enough to make this a tough decision problem. You don't need to make it harder by also throwing in the sexuality implications.

In general:

• Carefully choose whether you want prescriptive identities ("I like/do X") or restrictive identities ("I don't like/do X"). Restrictive identities are useful for things like dieting (I'm not the sort of person who eats before noon or after eight) but are often too limiting when it comes to interacting with other people. (Imagine not being willing to talk to any tall people just because they're tall, for example.)
• Varied experiences are helpful in discovering anything.
• The right level of caution with regards to interpersonal relationships is really hard to judge: relationships going well can be truly spectacular and relationships going poorly can be truly terrible, and caution clips off both ends of the distribution.

[Josephine]

I finally got some new shoes. I've had the old pair for over a year. Girlshoes that fit me are really hard to find. This pair will take some breaking in, but they actually fit.

[Aaeriele]

I finally got some new shoes. I've had the old pair for over a year. Girlshoes that fit me are really hard to find. This pair will take some breaking in, but they actually fit.

yay for shoes that fit!

[Bassoon]

Woo, I love being dumped! Seriously, it's the best.

[Aaeriele]

Woo, I love being dumped! Seriously, it's the best.

*hugs*

[a_fuzzyduck]

*hugs a Bassoon*

[Monika]

Woo, I love being dumped! Seriously, it's the best.

*huggles*

[natashatasha]

Yesterday I was reading the blog of the trans-woman skeptic Natalie Reed, just going through old blogs since one of my friends suggested her, and I discovered very suddenly that she doesn't believe in trigger warnings. It was the first time I had been triggered by only text, and it wasn't even a blog about a real person (it was on Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR TRANSPHOBIA / SEXUAL ASSAULT ON THAT LINK); I couldn't stop shaking for over an hour before a friend managed to calm me down.

On the hormone front, I've still had no success. I've got in touch with the A Gender Agenda, the major trans group here, and it seems that all the doctors that deal with this in Canberra are gone, so I've no idea what to do on that front, and I don't want to start guessing what I should take. So essentially, I'm stuck as I am at the moment, and it looks like I'll have to graduate as a male

[ShortChelsea]

One of my friends is transitioning from a woman to man, and has asked to be called by his new male name and to have male pronouns used. Although most of my friends are cool with this, some have refused to call him by his chosen name and have stated that they won't even when he has had the reassignment surgery done. When I asked them why, they said that he had no self-respect, but refused to elaborate.
I don't know how to deal with this situation. I love my friends, but I think that it's disrespectful to his wishes when he's made it clear what he wants.

[a_fuzzyduck]

the short answer is to ditch the friends, I think. Someone who doesn't respect a friend's identity doesn't seem worth the time to me

[natraj]

*hugs* for bassoon if they are wanted.

@shortchelsea, that is never an easy situation to deal with. it sounds like you are already talking to them about that being disrespectful, past that if they are still refusing to acknowledge your friend's identity i -- don't think they are being very good friends! but you are the only one who knows all the details and knows whether it is worth continuing to try to make them understand, or whether that will continue proving fruitless.

[XJ_0]

Yesterday I was reading the blog of the trans-woman skeptic Natalie Reed, just going through old blogs since one of my friends suggested her, and I discovered very suddenly that she doesn't believe in trigger warnings. It was the first time I had been triggered by only text, and it wasn't even a blog about a real person (it was on Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR TRANSPHOBIA / SEXUAL ASSAULT ON THAT LINK); I couldn't stop shaking for over an hour before a friend managed to calm me down.

I had heard before that Ace Venture was transphobic, but I never knew what actually happened in it. I read the link. I remember seeing a copy of this when I was in the mental hospital. I wish I had smashed that VHS in half over my knee. p_q Fuck...

[sambot5]

Yesterday I was reading the blog of the trans-woman skeptic Natalie Reed, just going through old blogs since one of my friends suggested her, and I discovered very suddenly that she doesn't believe in trigger warnings. It was the first time I had been triggered by only text, and it wasn't even a blog about a real person (it was on Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR TRANSPHOBIA / SEXUAL ASSAULT ON THAT LINK); I couldn't stop shaking for over an hour before a friend managed to calm me down.

Wow, I didn't realize how crass and transphobic that scene was. One, I don't see how finding out that a woman was previously a man is nauseating, and two, I don't see how that's considered to be humorous. I never enjoy comedy that tries to center jokes around societal stereotypes, except in cases where the comic shows how absurd the stereotype is.

[Bassoon]

Thanks for all the hugs, everyone, I'm doing a lot better than I was yesterday.

And ugh, it always makes me mad whenever I find videos from my childhood that turn out to be homophobic or transphobic and rely on that for the humor. I can't wait until society reaches a point where these two forms of so-called "humor" are no longer acceptable.

[old_gwynevere]

Spoiler:

Bah. My mom is mad at me because I have new keloids on my arm. Yes, you're mad at me because of that. Yet you subjected me to circumcision as an infant, under the cover of religion/personal beliefs. That's irreparable damage done to my body. Yeah. That makes sense. And, shit, do you think I like them? They make me sick to look at.

[ShortChelsea]

Spoiler:

Bah. My mom is mad at me because I have new keloids on my arm. Yes, you're mad at me because of that. Yet you subjected me to circumcision as an infant, under the cover of religion/personal beliefs. That's irreparable damage done to my body. Yeah. That makes sense. And, shit, do you think I like them? They make me sick to look at.

*hugs*

[XJ_0]

Spoiler:

To-day, when we went out, my partner heard a group of men shouting, "Fake! Fake women!" I didn't hear it. I don't hear or listen to most things when we go out. One partner feels bad/depressed, the other one feels threatened. My initial response was to think of violence towards these men. I've calmed down. I moved to try to comfort them and make them feel better. They're doing okay enough, now.

I have questions on my mind. I wonder why do people (these men) yell out things like this? What motivates them? I imagine that they have a lot of fear and insecurities. But if I were to confront them, how would I get them to a place where they can empathize? I imagine myself questioning them as to why they do this, and see if I can get to the root of the cause. I imagine enlightening them to the fact that all people are people. People experiencing their own lives, their own struggles, their own fears... and shit like this is, well, shitty to experience. But, I don't know how I would ever get those points across. I remain non-confrontational for the safety of my partners.

I feel so baffled... and sad.

Edit: Actually, neither one of them are doing quite as okay as I thought. We need to go out again (we've been going to the food shelter), but they don't want to go. They both feel very unsafe. p_q

[Brace]

I installed a mod-chip in a Sega Saturn successfully today, which makes me feel a bit better about stuff. I know I should comment on other people's stuff but I feel like I'm not really capable of expressing anything in response to that sort of thing anymore except a desire to kill people, which is kind of unproductive and at this point makes me feel like a one-note song. Good luck with your horrible things :<

[Monika]

Spoiler:

To-day, when we went out, my partner heard a group of men shouting, "Fake! Fake women!" I didn't hear it. I don't hear or listen to most things when we go out. One partner feels bad/depressed, the other one feels threatened. My initial response was to think of violence towards these men. I've calmed down. I moved to try to comfort them and make them feel better. They're doing okay enough, now.

I have questions on my mind. I wonder why do people (these men) yell out things like this? What motivates them? I imagine that they have a lot of fear and insecurities. But if I were to confront them, how would I get them to a place where they can empathize? I imagine myself questioning them as to why they do this, and see if I can get to the root of the cause. I imagine enlightening them to the fact that all people are people. People experiencing their own lives, their own struggles, their own fears... and shit like this is, well, shitty to experience. But, I don't know how I would ever get those points across. I remain non-confrontational for the safety of my partners.

I feel so baffled... and sad.

Edit: Actually, neither one of them are doing quite as okay as I thought. We need to go out again (we've been going to the food shelter), but they don't want to go. They both feel very unsafe. p_q

I am afraid there is no possibility to talk sense into a group of people or as much as get out of them why they behave as meanly as they do.
Getting one by one individually it might be possible to get at least a few of them to understand that they are being horrible - but I don't see how you could get them by themselves.
As to why they do/said what they did: I recently read a comment by a trans man that cis people constantly need their genders validated, and this is the reason for both a lot of sexist and cissexist behavior.
*hugs* to all three of you.

[XJ_0]

As to why they do/said what they did: I recently read a comment by a trans man that cis people constantly need their genders validated, and this is the reason for both a lot of sexist and cissexist behavior.
*hugs* to all three of you.

Huh. Cis people that I've talked to have seemed to shrug off the importance of gender, but I guess that's because theirs isn't at risk. =/ I'm not really understanding how sexist and cissexist behaviours validate their gender?

*Embraces hugs*

We're going to be staying in for at least the weekend, eating rice. v_v I hate am very angry at people.

[Monika]

Huh. Cis people that I've talked to have seemed to shrug off the importance of gender, but I guess that's because theirs isn't at risk. =/ I'm not really understanding how sexist and cissexist behaviours validate their gender?

One sexist example I can think of: cat calls = not really an attempt to flirt with the woman, but really bragging in front of the other men in the group "Look all, I am so super-male-masculine!"
Cissexist: I think all the shit with trying to spot bulges/penises on women in photos or even reallife is similar, it's a group activity by men and the result is also "Look all, I am so super-male-masculine, I am not falling for these "fake" women, my super-masculinity prevents this".

[Becani]

So I made a new account, since I was sick of my old handle. reminding me of when I was young and stupid. Now I can feel comfy posting again.

I bet you can figure out who I am.

[Josephine]

Hi!

[flickering_candle]

So I made a new account, since I was sick of my old handle. reminding me of when I was young and stupid. Now I can feel comfy posting again.

I bet you can figure out who I am.

Glad you'll be posting again, missed hearing from you.

[Brace]

You could have just asked a mod to change your name you know :p

[Becani]

You could have just asked a mod to change your name you know :p

I did, but got no response. (Yes, I waited awhile. like a week or so.) I don't really mind having anew account anyway.

[Monika]

Oh hai Becani

[Kewangji]

Hello Becani.

[DaBigCheez]

Oh hi there! ^_^

[Brace]

Are there any sort of flashcards for algebra that ask you to determine the applicable rules and procedures for solving a problem, rather than just solving it? For instance, something like:

Q: x^3 + 7x^2 +2x + 14

A: Factor by grouping

and etc. My big problem is that I can figure out what, but not when or why, so just grinding through problems has limited utility because I end up looking up the formulas and rules necessary to solve them, then forgetting which ones were applied to which kind of problem.

[Noc]

Spoilered for Maths:

Spoiler:

If I remember my math education correctly it's more a flow-chart sort of thing, where you start out trying the simplest method and if that doesn't work, move down to the next most complicated. So you try and factor first, and if it's factorable, great! If not, see if you can complete the square. If that doesn't work, then use the quadratic equation. You save the Equation for last not because it's not applicable to factorable polynomials, but because it requires a lot more scribbling, so you don't want to use it if you don't have to.

Regarding factoring itself, it's generally a process of breaking each element of the polynomial down into component factors and then seeing if you can find a pattern to reassemble it into. So:
1) First, if you're having trouble visualizing things, it may be helpful break down every coefficient you see into its component factors. So change 2x+14 to 2x+2*7, which makes it clear that there's a '2' floating around there you can do something with.
2) Next, factor out any coefficients you can. 2x+14 -> 2(x+7).

If you can find a way to remove a coefficient from the polynomial entirely, this is great. So if you've got, like:
(4x³+6x²+2x+14) you can make 2(2x³+3x²+x+7), and no longer need to worry about that 2.

3) Next, try and reassemble things into structures, based on the formulae you're given. This is where you use things like a²+2ab+b² = (a+b)². If you spot a pattern, build it. If you spot two identical (x+a)s, combine them into an (x+a)². Just keep sorting, and eventually you'll end up with something pretty well factored. If you get stuck, refer to the patterns you've been taught and see if there's a lesser-used one that fits what you've got. A good thing about factoring is that there shouldn't be any dead ends, so you shouldn't have to worry about finding factors in the 'wrong' order -- anything you can spot will be part of the final equation.

I hope that's helpful! From your post I'm assuming that you're dealing primarily with polynomials at the moment, but if you're trying to juggle a wider range of problem types feel free to shoot me a list and I can try and sort out a more practical guide for how to identify and approach each.

[Jessica]

Off topic...

Toronto pride was AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Thank you everyone for your time.

Also hey Becs!

[Becani]

Hihi Jessica, haven't seen you in awhile.

I hope you're doing well. ^.^

[Vaniver]

My big problem is that I can figure out what, but not when or why, so just grinding through problems has limited utility because I end up looking up the formulas and rules necessary to solve them, then forgetting which ones were applied to which kind of problem.

I would look at how you read questions and what information you get out of reading questions. For example, it wasn't obvious to me what the question you were proposing was- if you just give me a order three polynomial, I'll let it sit there, because there's nothing to do yet. It's not until another piece gets brought in- "I want it in the form (a+b)(c+d)"- that action is necessary, and those two pieces point to a number of ways to transform the first into the second. Possibly sit down with another student in whatever class you're in, look at ~10 problems, and rather than solving them just read them, write down what's interesting about the problem, and compare.

Disagreeing with Noc a bit, I would recommend using slow-but-sure methods (like the quadratic formula) for every problem whose solution isn't obvious. Eventually, you'll notice the patterns that make some problems obvious, but in the meantime everything will work (barring mistakes).

Spoiler:

One of the things I would have found interesting about x^3 + 7x^2 +2x + 14 is that the highest coefficients- 14 and 7- are on even powers of x. Combined with the low (and positive) odd powers, that means two of the roots are going to be complex- and so when factoring it, those two roots will get put together as (ax^2+b). If you want to factor that polynomial, that'll basically do it for you- you know it's (x^2+b)(cx+7), and then can easily determine that c=1 (to make it x^3) and b=2 (to make it 2x and 14).

That's because I know roots are an interesting part of polynomials, and I've seen a lot of them graphed, so when I see a polynomial I try to imagine its general shape, and I know that even and odd polynomial terms behave differently in producing roots. It just so happened that, for this example, both of the even terms were large- which implied some things I could use to fill in the first bit of info, and then other things followed. It may not be obvious that thinking about roots will help find factors, and so it may be that step 1 is "visualize the polynomial" which isn't explicitly part of the solution method, but is what other people are doing.

(Note that different people do have different cognitive hardware- and so visualization can make problems easier for one person and harder for another person. But if you're missing clues hidden in problem structure, say, that other students know how to find, they're a good source for learning how to spot them yourself.)

[sambot5]

My big problem is that I can figure out what, but not when or why, so just grinding through problems has limited utility because I end up looking up the formulas and rules necessary to solve them, then forgetting which ones were applied to which kind of problem.

I would look at how you read questions and what information you get out of reading questions. For example, it wasn't obvious to me what the question you were proposing was- if you just give me a order three polynomial, I'll let it sit there, because there's nothing to do yet. It's not until another piece gets brought in- "I want it in the form (a+b)(c+d)"- that action is necessary, and those two pieces point to a number of ways to transform the first into the second. Possibly sit down with another student in whatever class you're in, look at ~10 problems, and rather than solving them just read them, write down what's interesting about the problem, and compare.

Disagreeing with Noc a bit, I would recommend using slow-but-sure methods (like the quadratic formula) for every problem whose solution isn't obvious. Eventually, you'll notice the patterns that make some problems obvious, but in the meantime everything will work (barring mistakes).

+1

I agree with vaniver and I understand where Brace is coming from. For me, the hardest part is recognizing what I should do with a problem, and once I do, it's only a matter of whether or not I remember how to solve that particular problem. Personally, I find that I have to do a bunch of practice problems to hammer in the concept before I can successfully use it in a problem. I also find it helps to know where the certain concept fits in with everything else. In physics, for example, it took me a while to understand the idea of instantaneous rate of change until I saw how position, velocity, and acceleration were all related.