xkcd

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 3:05 pm UTC

FCN wrote:I wish my hair was comfier.

Granted. Your hair is now made of small cushions.

I wish for a fun holiday.

by **farnsworth** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:56 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for a bun holiday.

Granted! All local bakeries are closed today.

I wish for red paint.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:57 pm UTC

farnsworth wrote:I wish for red pain.

Granted! You are beaten until all your skin is red.

I wish for psychic powers.

by **ShortChelsea** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:45 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for psycho powers.

Granted. You can now behave in a manner suited to psychos.
I wish to be an X-Men.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:31 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I wish to be an X, Man.

Granted. You are now a rarely used letter.

I wish that everything was well.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:09 pm UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish that everything was hell.

Granted. You are now burning for all eternity.

I wish I could write for TV.

by **ShortChelsea** » Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:40 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish I could scrite for TV.

Granted, however I have no idea what that means.
I wish to stop being so tired all the time.

by **cemper93** » Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:44 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I wish to stop being so hired all the time.

Granted. You are now unemployed.

I will soon enter university, and I wish for it to be an interesting time.

by **ShortChelsea** » Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:48 pm UTC

I will soon enter mooniversity, and I wish for it to be an interesting time.

Granted. Going to college on the moon will be awesome.
I wish for a stallion.

by **Adam H** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:11 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I wish for a scallion.

Granted. It ends up a superfluous ingredient in tonight's dinner.

I wish for a fun toy to play with.

by **flicky1991** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:06 am UTC

Adam H wrote:I wish for a fun boy to play with.

Granted. It'll be fun until his parents find out.

I wish for scampi and chips.

by **Arlick** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:52 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for scumpi chips.

Okay... *checks dictionary* Well, at least it's not disgusting. All your chips are now expensive. I hope you meant poker.

I wish for a more comprehensive dictionary.

by **ShortChelsea** » Fri Jul 06, 2012 5:55 pm UTC

Arlick wrote:I wish for a bore comprehensive dictionary.

Sure, whatever you want. You get a boring dictionary. It's even more boring than a normal one.
I wish that my boyfriend would take me out to eat tonight.

by **Pjotr** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 9:53 am UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I wish that my boyfriend would take me out to eat Tonight.

Granted. You and your boyfriend eat the night. Since it's now Today again (followed by another Tonight), you must also eat the next night, and the next, and the next...
Congratulations, you've turned earthly existence into everlasting Today.

I wish I knew of a way to feed my entire family when they come over for my birthday next week.

by **flicky1991** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:44 pm UTC

Pjotr wrote:I wish I knew of a way to feed my entire family when they come over for my birthday next year.

Granted. By your next birthday, you will know how to cook.

I wish I could be a more outgoing person.

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:29 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I would like the next poster to completely change my wish until it isn't recognizable.

Granted.

I wish for a better internet connection.

by **flicky1991** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:32 pm UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish for a better internet correction.

Granted. I corrected "connection" to "correction". Over the internet.

I wish for a cure for my spots.

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:33 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for a cure for my cat, Spots.

Granted. You cat which you apparently named Spots is now cured.

I wish someone would take this wish seriously.

by **flicky1991** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:34 pm UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish no-one would take this wish seriously.

Hah, what kind of lame wish is that?

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

by **orangedragonfire** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:37 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish I didn't need a sheep.

Uhmmm... granted, I guess? (not that I have any idea what you needed the sheep for in the first place)

I wish that there was more time in a day.

by **flicky1991** » Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:39 pm UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish that there was more time than a day.

Granted - you have more than one day left to live. Does 25 hours sound good?

I wish for better bones.

by **orangedragonfire** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:13 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for bones.

Granted. A skeleton climes out of the grave in front of you.

I wish to be far away from this abomination.

by **flicky1991** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:19 pm UTC

orangedragonfire wrote:I wish to be far away from this agglomeration.

OK, you are far away from Earth. As in, floating through space. Unable to breathe. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you're dead by this point.

I wish for a more understandable accent.

by **Arlick** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:49 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for a less understandable accent.

Granted, you end up with an irreversible cockney scottish accent. In the case you already had this accent, it becomes five times as thick and incomprehensible.

I wish for a longer holiday.

by **flicky1991** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:00 am UTC

Arlick wrote:I wish for a lounger holiday.

Granted - your chair is now on holiday.

I wish for a bacon muffin.

by **Pjotr** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:42 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for a bacon muffler.

Granted. Your moped is now very loud, but it smells delicious...

I wish I really understood the Higgs boson.

by **AvatarIII** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:31 am UTC

Pjotr wrote:I wish I really stood under a Higgs boson.

granted, a Higgs boson manifests above your head, and instantly decays.

I wish to end world hunger.

by **orangedragonfire** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:40 am UTC

AvatarIII wrote:I wish to end the world.

Not a good idea, but... granted.

I wish there still was a world.

by **Arlick** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:07 pm UTC

AvatarIII wrote:I wish there still was The Wolds.

granted, there is now a countryside... and nothing else...

I wish for the rest if the world to manifest, with all the animals and things and the sentence-making do.

by **matt96** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:40 am UTC

Arlick wrote:I wish for the rest of the world to manifest, with all the animals and things and the sentence-making poo

Granted, your feces is now smarter than you, causing you to become more and more depressed, eventually you lose your job, family and friends to your super intelligent poop, and you die alone, regretting not having flushed it away when you had the chance.

I wish for a philanthropical quest

by **flicky1991** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:06 pm UTC

matt96 wrote:I wish for a philately quest

Granted. You are now forced to travel the world, collecting stamps.

I wish for super strength.

by **Arlick** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:31 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish to be superfluous.

Granted, you are now slightly worse at everything than everyone else.

I wish the mistake in my sign-up post to be forgotten

by **Adam H** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:48 pm UTC

Arlick wrote:I wish the mistake in my sign-up post to be remembered

WHO THE HELL IS STRUNT

I wish for a beautiful blow up doll.

by **flicky1991** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:40 pm UTC

Adam H wrote:I wish I were a beautiful blow up doll.

Granted. And now you're coming back to my room.

I wish for the voice of an angel.

by **ShortChelsea** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:42 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for the vote of an angel.

Granted, you are now able to vote about heavenly things. Too bad you aren't a *insert name of your country* citizen anymore.
I wish for lunch.

by **flicky1991** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:03 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I wish for launch.

Granted. You are flying towards the Moon at high speed with no protection.

I wish for another burger.

by **Arlick** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 11:40 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for a mother burger.

Denied, you're a sick person and you should be ashamed!

I wish for an obscure reference.

by **cjquines** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 11:49 am UTC

EDIT: Meh.

by **cjquines** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 12:02 pm UTC

Arlick wrote:I wish for an obtuse reverence.

Obstuse? Reverence?

I wish for a ghoti.

by **ShortChelsea** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:54 pm UTC

cjquines wrote:I wish for a goat.

Granted. It eats your lawn and you no longer have to mow it.
I wish for a goat of my very own.

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