Misquote-a-Wish!

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marionic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:48 pm UTC

Vytron wrote:I wish we used chocolate as a country.

Granted. Eating it counts as discrimination towards its residents.

I wish for vanilla ice-cream.
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flicky1991
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:58 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish for Vanille's ice-cream.

Granted. However, this makes her annoyed, and she sics Hecatoncheir on you.

I wish for people to join the Forum Comic thread.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:18 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for purple to join the Forum Comic thread.


Granted. That thread's skin is altered to a color that makes males uncomfortable.

I wish for anything but onions.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby teelo » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:48 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish onion news was deleted

Granted, but you can now only watch collegehumor.

I wish for a chip on my shoulder.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby flicky1991 » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:28 am UTC

teelo wrote:I wish for a shit on my shoulder.

Granted. Please don't come near me.

I wish for healthy food that tastes good.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby teelo » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:45 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish for unhealthy food that tastes good.

Granted. You are now legally disabled from being obese. <Cite|That Simpsons Episode>

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:55 am UTC

teelo wrote:I wish for someone to quote that Simpsons episode.

Granted. "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palms now."

I wish that teelo had actually made a wish.
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flicky1991
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby flicky1991 » Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:25 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that teelo hadn't actually made a wish.

Uh... granted!

teelo wrote:You are now legally disabled from being obese.

That makes it sound like it's against the law for me to be obese... :D

I wish I were less clumsy.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:21 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:clumsy.


Oops, I accidentally quoted that one word and lost the rest of what you wrote. So I guess I'll just have to grant that one word. Granted. You trip over your network cable, and then bump into the doorway on your way out.

I wish I didn't unintentionally misquote the above wish.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:37 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote: I wish you didn't unintentionally misquote my wish.

Granted. I intentionally misquoted it instead.

I wish that ham, pork and bacon each came from a different species of animal.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:30 am UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that harm, porking and breaking bones each came from a different species of torture.


Granted, Each type of torture happens.

I don't wish. Misquote that!
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:48 am UTC

bug sniper wrote:
dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that ham, pork and bacon each came from a different species of animal.


Granted. Now we have to learn two new animal names, you jerk.

I don't wish to Misquote that!


Granted. You didn't.

I wish for salad.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:11 am UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish for slaadi.


Granted. You get beings from Limbo, the plane of chaos.

I wish I lived in Ysgard, the plane of glory, heroism, inspiration, and creativity.
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marionic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:41 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish I lived in a yard in Spain or a gory heroin institution in a cavity.


Granted. Enjoy your institution.

I wish for BBC iPlayer not to stop while people are watching it.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:43 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish for youtube's player not to stop while people are watching it.

gladly granted, those random freezes are annoying as feces

I WISH EVERYONE TYPED IN ALL CAPS
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:45 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I WISH EVERYONE TYPED "CALL THE COPS"


Granted. CALL THE COPS

I wish for ArDeeJ to post shortly after this post.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:46 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish for ArDeeJ to post a gif shortly after this post.

here i am and here's the gif

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i wish everyone posted more gifs
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:11 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:i wish everyone posted more gifts


Granted.

Open this, ArDeeJ:

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I wish my gifts didn't suck so much.
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bug sniper
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Thu Mar 28, 2013 11:23 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish my gifts didn't stack so much.


Granted. You give conical gifts with wheels on the undersides.

I wish for the next poster's wish to not be granted, quoted, corrupted, or misquoted.
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marionic
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Fri Mar 29, 2013 4:25 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for the neck poster's wish to not be granted, quoted, corrupted, or misquoted.


Granted. There isn't a neck poster, so...

I wish to banish word filters.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:10 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish to varnish the world, Zul-Gurub.

That's not my name. Wish rejected.

I wish I knew what kind of job to get.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:31 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:I wish Ken did hate kingdom job to get.

...granted I suppose

I wish I could hug all the cats
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sat Mar 30, 2013 9:20 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:
I wish I could sneeze on all the cats


Granted. You now have allergies.

I fish for trout.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:37 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for a dish of snouts.

Granted. Snort it up!

I wish trouts had bigger snouts.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:06 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish routes had bigger staples.


Granted. AAA has to make a number of special trips to tow cars that now have massive staples embedded in their tires.

I wish for my bank account to contain twice the amount of money it currently contains.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:26 pm UTC

bug sniper wrote:I wish for my bank account to contain twice the amount of slurry it currently contains.

Let's see... you don't currently have any slurry in your bank account, so twice nothing is nothing :D

As for me, I wish I could remember π.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:06 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:As for me, I wish I could remember what I wished for.

Granted - now you can! I've quoted it here for easy reference as well.

I wish I knew the digits of π to arbitrary precision.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:29 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish I knew the digits of τ to arbitrary precision.
Granted! And should you ever need π, you just need to mentally divide by two.

I wish τ was the mainstream, universally accepted circle constant.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:13 pm UTC

I wish i was the mainstream, universally accepted circle constant


OK - now everyone believes that sqrt(-1) is the circle constant :D

If you think that's silly...

I wish I had some thermite to play with...

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:22 pm UTC

mittfh wrote:I wish I had some thermite to make a play with...
Granted. Your take on Hamlet was sparkling, also lethal.

I wish i i wasn't a real number.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:55 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish I wasn't a real number.

Granted. "ArDeeJ" is now a made-up number instead. Luckily for you, this only lasts ArDeeJ weeks. ;)

I wish all numbers were rational.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:37 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish small numbers were rational.
Granted. I think you broke common mathematics (thankfully, to quote flicky, miracles are acceptable in British math)

I wish miracles were acceptable in all maths, not just British math
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Fri Apr 05, 2013 8:26 am UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish miracles were acceptable in all mash, not just British mash

Granted. Enjoy your miraculous mashed potato!

I wish Finish maths allowed Finland to get to Mars.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby tapksa » Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:07 am UTC

marionic wrote:
ArDeeJ wrote:I wish Finish[sic] mats allowed Finland to get to March.

Finland invents dishwashing-powder-powered flying carpets that travel back in time. You're stuck in the present and won't even hear about them.

I wish I could start posting on this board and not get spam-blocked every time I try to.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby ArDeeJ » Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:55 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish Finnish maths allowed Finland to get to Mars.
Granted! Finland is the first country on Earth to have successfully sent a manned mission to Mars. This achievement is in fact so important that Educomix's next storyline will be based on it.

I wish my social skills were better than those of a wet rag's.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:11 pm UTC

ArDeeJ wrote:I wish my social skills were better than those of a wet ragamuffin's.


Congratulations! Your social skills have now been upgraded to the level of "Bad busker" :)

>> I wish the weather was more predictable.

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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby bug sniper » Sun Apr 07, 2013 5:39 am UTC

mittfh wrote:
>> I wish the weather was more ridiculous.


Granted. It doesn't rain, but it instead hails in the middle of spring, leaving holes in your roof. And the clouds target you with prejudice, regularly zapping lightning 10 feet away from you the moment you leave your house.

I wish to be granted mercy from this weather.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby marionic » Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:34 am UTC

tapksa wrote:I wish I could start posting on this board and get overlooked every time I try to.

Granted. People post without noticing your post.

bug sniper wrote:I wish to be granted mercy from this leather.

Granted. It no longer squeezes your crotch so tightly.

I wish people could never make mistakes.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:25 pm UTC

marionic wrote:I wish people would never fake mistakes.

Granted. All mistakes are now genuine. You've now made this thread impossible. Thanks a lot!

I wish that this post was easy to accidentally misquote.
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Re: Misquote-a-Wish!

Postby mittfh » Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:38 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that this post was easy to purposefully misquote.


Granted, and proved :)

Now let's see what you do with this:

I wish this post was unquotable...


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