The evening was as dark as the ink on the paper, and as wet too. I took a drag of my cuban cigar and leaned back, leering up at her under the brim of my black bowler cap. She glared back, her deep russet eyes like ripe walnuts burning her challenge into my heart. The dame had heart, that was for sure, I could tell that from the moment she walked in, her skinny gams stretching down to the floor in a mighty powerful stance. This was one determined lady, and she wouldn't stop till she had what she wanted. I searched her unyielding face, looking for signs of weakness. With none to be found, I took another drag of my cigar and looked back down at her ultimatum. I leaned forward.
"So this guy, whats-'is-name, you an' 'im were lookin' for a river, is that it?"
She continued glaring back, sullenly, her eyes never leaving mine, like a crocodile watching its prey.
"So what's yer problem, 'e run off with this french dame?"
She shook her head. Clearly I'd missed something and she wasn't about to tell.
"So what d'ya want me to do, sugar? I'm just a private detective, not no marital counselor."
"She ain't no lover," the dame replied haughtily. She motioned at the paper she'd thrown on my solid maple desk when she'd burst in all quick-like. I glanced back down. The torn scrap of paper had only two words written on it, and boy were they some inscrutable little chickenscratch. They read, quite simply:
"I need you to find her." The dame resumed her baleful gaze. My hand instinctively jerked towards the bottom drawer of my desk, where I kept my trusty Colt .38 special. She always had my back in tough situations, though I didn't think I'd need her services at the present time. The dame sighed, her long dark hair waving slightly in the cool air of the dark office. "There's a cut in it for you."
That there was the song I'd been listenin' for, and boy was it a pretty tune. I whistled it right back at her.
"You got yerself a detective then, miss."
And with this questionable piece of film noir-style narration, I coma. Au revoir, mes amis.