1190: "Time"

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partingLance
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby partingLance » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:01 pm UTC

SBN wrote:
partingLance wrote:Later, I heard a linguist and author talk about the effect the Internet has had on language. What struck me in particular was his discussion of how, nowadays, made-up words can gain a currency they never could have previously.

So, which words are the not made-up ones?


A hit, a very palpable hit! I'm sure I paraphrased him badly. "New words" was probably what he said, and undoubtedly what he meant. I was driving at the time, and only half-listening.

Ketchup edit:

Wot's this? Pagepope? I hereby decree... ah, lessee... that next May 24 by Outsider reckoning, being Bob Dylan's birthday, the OTT will observe complete silence, out of respect, for the time-span of one newpix.

(... crickets, tumbleweeds; glares from Dracomax...).

Yes, it's a fair cop, you got me bang to rights (etc., etc.). That was heresy. I throw myself upon, etc.

In other business:

AluisioASG: yes please! I can't wait to read the next instalment/backstory. (And like BlueCrab asked: how could we not read The Last Time Waiter?!)

Ebonite and StratPlayer: those are really excellent filks. Awefulsome, indeed!

TheMinim: whatever you do with the story: don't stop!

Well, back to the Outside, for now.
Last edited by partingLance on Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:24 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
StratPlayer wrote:And at this very moment, someone on the Isle of Wight named Bungalo Bill is listening to the 'splat' made from using their family album to squash a beetle, that had ran, helter-skelter, straight for the wild honey pie made by his dear wife Prudence...

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby spamjam » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:05 pm UTC

SMALLONG
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby thirds » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:07 pm UTC

(caught up)

So my question is, are we looking at two different rivers here? The one they're following and the one that goes over the wowfall?

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby HES » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:08 pm UTC

partingLance wrote:
SBN wrote:
partingLance wrote:Later, I heard a linguist and author talk about the effect the Internet has had on language. What struck me in particular was his discussion of how, nowadays, made-up words can gain a currency they never could have previously.

So, which words are the not made-up ones?


A hit, a very palpable hit! I'm sure I paraphrased him badly. "New words" was probably what he said, and undoubtedly what he meant. I was driving at the time, and only half-listening.

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby mscha » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:09 pm UTC

thirds wrote:So my question is, are we looking at two different rivers here? The one they're following and the one that goes over the wowfall?

Yes, a ³ one and a ¹⁰ one.
A picture is worth a thousand words, so see map⁴.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby SBN » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:16 pm UTC

partingLance wrote:
SBN wrote:
partingLance wrote:Later, I heard a linguist and author talk about the effect the Internet has had on language. What struck me in particular was his discussion of how, nowadays, made-up words can gain a currency they never could have previously.

So, which words are the not made-up ones?


A hit, a very palpable hit! I'm sure I paraphrased him badly. "New words" was probably what he said, and undoubtedly what he meant. I was driving at the time, and only half-listening.

At least you weren't listening, and only half-driving.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ergman » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:19 pm UTC

Dracomax wrote:
Now, back to being half-acoma

Or 1/4 of a semi-colon?
Give or take an M?
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Valarya » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:25 pm UTC

mscha wrote:
thirds wrote:So my question is, are we looking at two different rivers here? The one they're following and the one that goes over the wowfall?

Yes, a ³ one and a ¹⁰ one.
A picture is worth a thousand words, so see map⁴.

I didn't think they were following a river anymore but looking for more rivers, thus how they came across a differenttiny one.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ttscp » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:32 pm UTC

kenmelken wrote:In the present again (luckily only had 2 NPs to read).

azule wrote:
kenmelken wrote:First, trivia time. Who can identify what this image is/what source relevant to the OTT it is from:

Image
Hah, MobTeeseboose. Still at zero posts.


Well done! You win the prize! Once again, I don't know what the prize is. You now join ChronosDragon and k.bookbinder as people I owe prizes to.

dreiarmumig wrote:Here's a Twitter account with MobTeeseboose's profile picture. Seems to me like a spam account as well.

Whoa! Good find. :) So... it turns out that MobTeeseboose's real name (well... for a bot) is Coleman Cooley. Sounds like a guy name.

The avatar changes. I don't know how frequently, but I've seen at least four different pictures, two since you posted your challenge. The change is to all references, too, like the one in your post above.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby charlie_grumbles » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:40 pm UTC

TheMinim wrote:If I were LaPetite...

(Trying a bit of writing...)

Spoiler:
LaPetite perched herself down and opened her netbook. Trying to deceive these TimeWaiters was not paying off. They were heavily suspicious and were watching her instead of the One True Comic. Which they should be watching.

She sighed. She'd been in the comic, and she wanted to get back in. But she couldn't keep up with Megan and Cueball. She rarely had the energy to climb mountains anymore and she had had exams. Those exams plied on the Maths like no tomorrow. Rotational matrixes, like in that OtherComic. She laughed as she remembered how knowing that comic in her head had helped. Lovely.

Her only regret was that she had only one molpy, and it was accurately spotted as a snake. Corinne loved to curl up with LaPetite, and LaPetite had taught herself in the ways of the snake.

But it could all go wrong yet.


Aa Ha. Space worth watching. The tribe awaits your every word. House of Slytherin, we learn. Or... Are we being misled? Talk of the maths. Trying to lull us into a sense of complacency (HA). Exams. Obvious sympathy ploy.

A spy, I say. A spy.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby kenmelken » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:43 pm UTC

ttscp wrote:
Spoiler:
kenmelken wrote:In the present again (luckily only had 2 NPs to read).

azule wrote:
kenmelken wrote:First, trivia time. Who can identify what this image is/what source relevant to the OTT it is from:

Image
Hah, MobTeeseboose. Still at zero posts.


Well done! You win the prize! Once again, I don't know what the prize is. You now join ChronosDragon and k.bookbinder as people I owe prizes to.

dreiarmumig wrote:Here's a Twitter account with MobTeeseboose's profile picture. Seems to me like a spam account as well.

Whoa! Good find. :) So... it turns out that MobTeeseboose's real name (well... for a bot) is Coleman Cooley. Sounds like a guy name.

The avatar changes. I don't know how frequently, but I've seen at least four different pictures, two since you posted your challenge. The change is to all references, too, like the one in your post above.

Good catch. That Coleman Cooley is a sneaky one...
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby azule » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:45 pm UTC

charlie_grumbles wrote:Hmmm. Maybe I should tackle my favorite: Subterranean Homesick Blues.

Or "bob", replete with anagrams.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Angelastic » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:46 pm UTC

fhorn wrote:(Stopped studying math in HS when it conflicted with Music Theory. Can we discuss the Circle of Fifths instead, mebbe?

I studied maths in university and the quickest way to make me feel like an illiterate idiot is to use a lot of music theory terms. I only know what was in GEB, Euler's letters to a princess, Leon Harkleroad's 'The Math Behind the Music', and Vi Hart's videos, and I didn't completely understand those since I still only had a vague hypothesis (involving group theory) about what the apparently-too-basic-to-explain terms meant. But just recently I listened to an introductory music theory audiobook, the kind that actually goes some way towards explaining the words used to explain the most basic musical concepts, and I realised that (as I had suspected) all these fancy terms defined in terms of each other, they're just mathematics. With a whole lot of ordinal numbers that sound like they're fractions but have nothing to do with the actual ratios of frequencies, just to throw us off the trail. And you know what? The circle of fifths is just a cyclic group of order 12 (involving multiples of approximately 4/3), described in an overcomplicated way. You hear me? You're doing maths, you are! You're just expressing the beauty of mathematics in sound!

And here's the closing parenthesis I snipped. )

Is poetry commissioned by a pope popetry? And if it's on a round-numbered post, is it
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popetry of the penis?


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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Ebonite » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:46 pm UTC

StratPlayer wrote:I'm far behind and unfortunately, have limited Time to catch up on Time in any detail for the foreseeable future. But I'll at least try to blitz-read and stay current reading-wise, even if I don't have the time to post much. I know there will be much that I see that I will love and admire and appreciate and would normally comment on, but if I don't, please don't take my silence for not liking your song, or poem, or artwork, or creative story -- I really do like them all!!!!

My sentiments exactly. As I lamented earlier, that's one of the reasons I only have 100 posts: by the time I ketchup, I have shamefully little time to post myself, or else I feel I've missed the window of opportunity where the topic is still fresh (such as the recent newpage of poetry). But I still enjoy reading the posts!

And I absolutely love all of the creative art, writing, and poetry. I've especially always been a big fan of filk / parodies, as you can probably tell by what I prefer to contribute myself.

By the way, thanks for the cake, HES!

StratPlayer wrote:"Like a Waiter Flown"


. . .and this is another wonderful example. Nicely done, Strat!! I can't pick a favorite amongst yours.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby partingLance » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:49 pm UTC

fhorn wrote:Dear Friends and Gentlepersons,
Wow! A wowterfall of creativity. Let me end my Papal Office's Endlessly Talented Random Yawping (POETRY, natch) edict demand commandment fight to the death polite request with a hearty BRAVO to all who played feared for their lives observed the holiday! Those who partook: chronosdragon, ergman, kenmelken (with a double dactyl, my fave!, hey if the megalomania fits), BlueCrab, BlitzGirl (with an enviable, admirable ease and range), ucim, ttscp, taixzo; and Cellocgw, with a tease! (did I miss anyone? Will happily go back and reread if I have) What an amazing response... though I shouldn't be surprised anymore at the talent and dedication of those in our neighborhood. *does happy ex-Pope dance of joy*

partingLance - PLEASE please please please do Highway 61. YappoB, you up for the recording? (some of us speculate on the future of the OTT; I speculate on the future of the filk)

kenmelken - can you believe what a bunch of peaceniks (so busy making love not war) we are - not one brave soul to volunteer to do battle. I'm late but not afraid to step up and declare a PageCrusade on crusades! WHO'S WITH ME???!!?

Neil_Boekend - any chance you'd share a photo of your new, clever domesticated wolpy? We've seen quite a few kitties (mewpies?) around here.

p.s. thanks again, everybody. Really. You made my dix. (that just doesn't sound right)


(another blindpost -- the Outside is being especially demanding today)

Bravo! to all the poets, is right. My regrets for not participating... I was feeling particularly, well, un-poetic yesterday.

But to partly make up for it, I hope, and as requested, a filk. As far as I've gotten, at least -- I'm torn between "less is more", which seems appropriate to xkcd, and "write just as many verses as Dylan did".

Warning: heresy ahead. I've always been a little uncomfortable with the GLR designation, preferring to see him more as a Prophet -- gifted with unusual insight, but otherwise, much like the rest of us.999. So this filk follows from that premise. (I also imagine God as a prankster; and, for some reason, from the US South).

NewPage 61 Revisited

after Highway 61 Revisited -- as in, long after).

God said to Randall, this Comic's the One
Randall said man, you must be puttin' me on
God said No, and Randall, What?
God said, think what you want man but
I tell you, there's something novel under the Sun
Randall said, when was this anointing done?
God said, take a read of NewPage 61

Randall said God, man, what have I done?
God said, now don't you sweat it, son
I put this madness in alla they heads
Now some do this, 'stead of going to bed
I'm laughing loud, but to some of them, it's not all in fun
Randall said, how long will this foolishness run?
You should know, said God, and read NewPage 61

Randall said, I don't believe this, no
I do believe it's gotten out of control
I only wanted to change it up a bit
I'd no idea about this religion shit
Now how in hell am I gonna get this comic done?
God said, just think of the alt-text, son
Just Wait for it, and start at NewPage 61

999 Now, where's that comfy chair, and chocolate? I could use me some of both, today.
StratPlayer wrote:And at this very moment, someone on the Isle of Wight named Bungalo Bill is listening to the 'splat' made from using their family album to squash a beetle, that had ran, helter-skelter, straight for the wild honey pie made by his dear wife Prudence...

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby charlie_grumbles » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:00 pm UTC

exit-ONG
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The Last Time Waiter, chapter 0

Postby AluisioASG » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:07 pm UTC

Thanks for the support of those who replied to my previous post about TLTW. Hereby I present you with a prequel to the Past Chapters: The Last Time Waiter, chapter 0: The Beginning of Time.

Spoiler:
It was yet another sunny day in Newpixia. The villagers were celebrating the coming of spring, after a tough winter which almost wiped out their village. The Springong, as it was called, was a festival of music, food and challenges. One of these challenges involved the throwing of heavy balls; won the contestant who threw them the farthest.

It was about the time the Sun was between the horizon and the zenith; the young Yu was ready for his next try. He launched the ball straight in the direction of the sun, and for a second, he kept looking to it. Something hit the ball and came to land on his feet, but Yu was still looking to the Sun. When someone finally noticed what was happening and jumped onto him, it was already too late.

Young Yu was blind; a bright box had landed in front of his feet.

---

The village's healers determined Yu was blind forever; others were called, and they all gave the same answer: Yu would never recover his vision. While his parents cried for his son's fate, the elders were trying to decide what to do with the strange box. Some thought it was a gift from the gods, and that Yu's situation was unrelated; others believed the box to be a curse for the village, and that Yu had done something to deserve his blindness. Before the disagreements could turn into a war, a messenger interrupted the council: Yu wanted to see the box.

The council decided to respect the youngling's wish before proceeding, and the box was brought to him. He touched the center of two adjacent sides, and the box broke into lots of triangles. It was then discovered that inside the box there was a small, crystal clear cube. While the others looked, amazed, at the cube, Yu connected the surfaces which were part of the box a minute earlier, forming octahedrons. After he finished, he grouped the polyhedrons into sets of twenty-four, yielding four groups.

Yu wrote:It will be better if we move it outside.

Yu's parents looked at each other. Those were the first words they had heard from Yu since the incident. And how had him managed to find and mount the pieces? But their questions would have to wait, for Yu was already trying to get out of the bed.
Yu's father wrote:Easy, easy, buddy. Let me help you.


As requested, the pieces and the cube were moved to outside the house, and the cube was put in the center of the groups of octahedrons.
Then, suddenly, the pieces began to glow and to circle the cube. The whole set began to levitate, and the pieces moved to different orbits. By then the pieces had combined themselves into something that didn't seem to be from this world.

A pulse of energy flowed from the strange objects to the cube, and the device was compressed into a sort of bi-dimensional window. The villagers looked through the window, and they were marveled with what they saw.


You can notice I changed my style to include more text and less dialog. I don't know if this change will persist or it was simply more suitable for this chapter.

As always, comments and corrections on my English writing are welcome; you may also PM me for the latter, therefore avoiding polluting the thread.
And a question: to [quote], to “mark” (as it seems to be the standard for English) or to ― dash (standard in my native language)? Your choice.

ETA: I'm not sure why, but this chapter reminds me of Jumanji.
* hears drums
Last edited by AluisioASG on Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:14 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ucim » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:09 pm UTC

Ebonite wrote:or else I feel I've missed the window of opportunity where the topic is still fresh (such as the recent newpage of poetry)
But the topic is always fresh. Like the waves of the big upon the shore, what is washed away is washed right back up in new and glorious combinations in the wake of Blitzers, Condiment Clerics, and Timewaiters who are not quite as fast as the posting rate (which is most of us!).

There is no "window of opportunity". There is an entire sky of opportunity.

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby BlitzGirl » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:11 pm UTC

Looks like Megan just molested a tiny defenseless molberry bush.

Oooh, prequel chapter! And great song parodies, all, including Ebonite's "Now I've Had (100 Posts)", StratPlayer's "Like a Waiter Flown", and partingLance's "NewPage 61 Revisited". Image

HES wrote:Whilst I was in the time vortex I completely missed getting Boom De Yada'd! Thanks BlitzGirl! :D
(I guess this serves me right for cheating)

Cheating makes me a sad molpy. Image But you're welcome! :D
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ttscp » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:13 pm UTC

kenmelken wrote:
ttscp wrote:
Spoiler:
kenmelken wrote:In the present again (luckily only had 2 NPs to read).

azule wrote:
kenmelken wrote:First, trivia time. Who can identify what this image is/what source relevant to the OTT it is from:

Image
Hah, MobTeeseboose. Still at zero posts.


Well done! You win the prize! Once again, I don't know what the prize is. You now join ChronosDragon and k.bookbinder as people I owe prizes to.

dreiarmumig wrote:Here's a Twitter account with MobTeeseboose's profile picture. Seems to me like a spam account as well.

Whoa! Good find. :) So... it turns out that MobTeeseboose's real name (well... for a bot) is Coleman Cooley. Sounds like a guy name.

The avatar changes. I don't know how frequently, but I've seen at least four different pictures, two since you posted your challenge. The change is to all references, too, like the one in your post above.

Good catch. That Coleman Cooley is a sneaky one...


Can't tell if you were being funny or not.

Coleman Cooley's twitter page still has the older avatar (one of the ones I'd seen used for MobTeeseBose). I'm a little nervous about invoking the name of ordinary non famous people in the OTT because they don't have a chance at rebuttal. As somebody pointed out, the zero posters could be reading some other forum topic entirely, even one of the safetopic ones which we are asked to leave alone because the subject is personal and sensitive.

I'm guilty of stirring up the waters with my story and I'm curious about MobTeeseBose too, so I'm not clean either. Just thought it was worth bringing up; we've been very tolerant of each others differences so far and I don't want us to get into dangerous territory.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby BlitzGirl » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:21 pm UTC

Because I wanted to post it again:

Image


And wow, 800 posts! That deserves a cake that should never be set on fire:

Image
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby mscha » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:23 pm UTC

partingLance wrote:NewPage 61 Revisited

Image Image

Edit: and happy 800th, BlitzGirl! Hope you counted the candles before posting...
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby TheMinim » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:27 pm UTC

Banananananananananananananananananana.

Is that interesting to watch, people who are spying on me?

Good.

Well, I enjoyed it.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ucim » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:29 pm UTC

@AluisioASG: Really nice prequil. I like the change in style to have less emphasis on dialog. It allows the prose part to more fully explore the actions and (especially) thoughts of the characters. I think you'll find that it leads to better character development.

One typo I found: "...won the contestant who threw them the farthest." I think you meant "... won by the contestant...".

I like the impact of the first part of the third paragraph: "Young Yu was blind." and would leave it at that for maximum effect. Mentioning the box, especially in the same sentence, diminishes the impact. The box's landing deserves its own paragraph (and a little elaboration).

Really treeish prequel. :)

I voted to wrap quotes in bbcode's built-in quotation system; it's what I do with my own stories (mainly because "it's there"). I'm not sure it's the "best" method, and I don't think it really matters much. Ordinary quotes may be easier to read, but less "fun" on the OTT. There are a jillion standards for quotes, and it's fun to learn and use new ones. Just be careful that what you choose is HTML friendly. :)

What is your native language?

And BlitzGirl - That's not a cake - that's a rocket engine!

Jose
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Zorin_75 » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:32 pm UTC

TheMinim wrote:If I were LaPetite...

(Trying a bit of writing...)


Loved it, makes you want to turn to the next page to see what will happen...
Looking forward to the next installments :)
Go Minim go!

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Pikrass » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:33 pm UTC

== Blindpost from NP 812 ==

6 newpages to go! I can do it! I know I can! I... *coma*


Zorin_75 wrote:Wow. Fall.

fhorn wrote:I'm calling these the Wowterfalls.


As Coldplay once said, it's a wow-wow-wow-wow-waterfall.



azule wrote:It looks green to me...but you both say blue? hmm. *sad*


Either your monitor is not configured properly, or you're Japanese.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby taixzo » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:36 pm UTC

Just wondering - has anyone tried my newpix clock? (I still don't know whether it works on anyone else's computer besides mine. But it shouldn't hurt anything.)
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby azule » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:42 pm UTC

@Ebonite - "Now I've Had (100 Posts)" was quite amusing because it's so true.

@TheMinim - Good start with the writing.

taixzo wrote:Whatever happened to xip?
Nothing happened. Some still use it. dix and dip have funny connotations, and that's usually what wins the vocabulary wars. I think xip is still cool.
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Re: The Last Time Waiter, chapter 0

Postby mscha » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:44 pm UTC

Processed my backlog of to-be-read stories...

AluisioASG wrote:The Last Time Waiter, chapter 0: The Beginning of Time.

Image
Very interesting. Adds a new dimension to the story, in more than one way.
(The first thing I wanted to do after reading this, was re-read the earlier later chapters, and it took me some time to find them. Maybe you can post a link to the existing chapters, whenever you post a new one?)

TheMinim wrote:If I were LaPetite...

Image (It gets a bit repetitive... [The emoticon, not the writing!])
Can't wait for the next chapter!
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby azule » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:48 pm UTC

taixzo wrote:Just wondering - has anyone tried my newpix clock? (I still don't know whether it works on anyone else's computer besides mine. But it shouldn't hurt anything.)

The question might be: who here is running a mac? Not me.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Flotter » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:51 pm UTC

Since I'll be comaing for the next couple of Newpix, I want to wish y'all a happy 1000000000000000th post!

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Kieryn » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:57 pm UTC

Flotter wrote:Since I'll be comaing for the next couple of Newpix, I want to wish y'all a happy 1000000000000000th post!


Ooh yep. This is a big celebration to come. Last time we had a round binary (100000000000000) was on page 410 with mscha's post:
viewtopic.php?p=3338344#p3338344
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Angelastic » Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:59 pm UTC

azule wrote:
taixzo wrote:Just wondering - has anyone tried my newpix clock? (I still don't know whether it works on anyone else's computer besides mine. But it shouldn't hurt anything.)

The question might be: who here is running a mac? Not me.

I am! At first I thought it wasn't working, because I'd forgotten what it was supposed to do (actually, although I now remember seeing the screenshot, at the time I don't think I realised this was something I could get and use) and I was expecting it to show a window or something. But it's in the menu bar and it works and it tells me it's nearly ONG time! (Edit: Actually, it just switched to .00 several seconds before my heretical clock did. Curious.)
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby charlie_grumbles » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:00 pm UTC

up-ONG
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby mscha » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:01 pm UTC

Kieryn wrote:
Flotter wrote:Since I'll be comaing for the next couple of Newpix, I want to wish y'all a happy 1000000000000000th post!

Ooh yep. This is a big celebration to come. Last time we had a round binary (100000000000000) was on page 410 with mscha's post:
viewtopic.php?p=3338344#p3338344

Hmm, not a particularly epic post. Image
Edit: actually, at the time, it seems to have been this one, 5 posts up, from our d-dactylmaster.
Last edited by mscha on Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:04 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby AluisioASG » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:01 pm UTC

That's a hell of an analysis.
ucim wrote:I like the change in style to have less emphasis on dialog. It allows the prose part to more fully explore the actions and (especially) thoughts of the characters. I think you'll find that it leads to better character development.


ucim wrote:One typo I found: "...won the contestant who threw them the farthest." I think you meant "... won by the contestant...".

If you look closer, that sentence is followed by a semicolon; it makes sense in Portuguese, but as I'm not sure if it's valid in English, I'll change it to ", and was won by...". Will that work?

ucim wrote:I like the impact of the first part of the third paragraph: "Young Yu was blind." and would leave it at that for maximum effect. Mentioning the box, especially in the same sentence, diminishes the impact. The box's landing deserves its own paragraph (and a little elaboration).

Story-wise, the fact Yu became blind is irrelevant compared to "a freakin' magic box fell from the sky!". But what you said makes sense; I'll see what I can do.

ucim wrote:Really treeish prequel. :)

We'll have a sequel to that prequel, before the current beginning of the story.

ucim wrote:I voted to wrap quotes in bbcode's built-in quotation system; it's what I do with my own stories (mainly because "it's there"). I'm not sure it's the "best" method, and I don't think it really matters much. Ordinary quotes may be easier to read, but less "fun" on the OTT. There are a jillion standards for quotes, and it's fun to learn and use new ones. Just be careful that what you choose is HTML friendly. :)

That makes sense; do like the natives :wink:
Any recommendations on a markup format for storing this kind of text?

ucim wrote:What is your native language?

Portuguese Brazilian Portuguese, locale pt_BR@UTF-8, LCID 1046.

To finish:
- An epigraph for chapter 0: “Come on, Spock. We were seen. Big deal.” — James T. Kirk
- A link for those who want to read The Last Time Waiter as I work on it.
Selecting new quote…
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby kenmelken » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:11 pm UTC

Happy 800th, BlitzGirl!

And @ttscp: well considered and thought out. Shall exercise greater caution.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ttscp » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:23 pm UTC

kenmelken wrote:Happy 800th, BlitzGirl!

And @ttscp: well considered and thought out. Shall exercise greater caution.


I definitely wasn't singling you out, by the way. I appreciate all your contributions and the wiki really needed weeding. I just wanted to voice my growing uneasiness and your post happened to be the one I picked to respond to.

Me too, BlitzGirl, and thanks for reposting the flame shield.
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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby ucim » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:41 pm UTC

AluisioASG wrote:If you look closer, that sentence is followed by a semicolon; it makes sense in Portuguese, but as I'm not sure if it's valid in English, I'll change it to ", and was won by...". Will that work?
Yes, that works better in English. Portugese is inflected and English is (mostly) not, so the ending of the word (in Portugese) for "won" probably carries its grammatical function, whereas in English we use those pesky little words. I speak very little Portugese though; I have a hunch you know it a little better. :)

AluisioASG wrote:Story-wise, the fact Yu became blind is irrelevant compared to "a freakin' magic box fell from the sky!".
Not so irrelevant as you might think. For one thing, he didn't get to see the magic box fall, and thus only hears about it later, which (maybe) motivates his interest in it. And, without seeing it, he manages to turn it on (so to speak). This would be somewhat less awesome if he were not blind. I'll bet his blindness will have some other plot significance later on too.

AluisioASG wrote:Any recommendations on a markup format for storing this kind of text?
Interesting question. I'd store the original (whatever you get when you quote your whole post) and the HTML result (what you get when you "save" the thread web page to your hard drive). Depending on what you will be doing with it later, a simple word-processor script (or a few search and destroyreplace actions) should convert to the format you'd want for that application.

I really should do that for my own stories. Right now they are just online.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: 1190: "Time"

Postby Earthling on Mars » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:01 pm UTC

BYTREEONG

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