Raptors in real life

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Magistrates, Prelates, Moderators General

Raptors in real life

Postby German Sausage » Tue Jan 30, 2007 1:28 pm UTC

obviously, some or most of us feel that raptors are about to pounce at any moment, but i figure if we can detail our own experiences, we might be able to cut down on panic attacks among forum-goers.

ok. my story goes a little something like this. surely people remember the scene in jurassic park where the lady doctor has to flip all those switches for whatever reason. so i'm closing up at my work (a video shop...lots of corridors made of shelves, big and dark, i'm far from the exit), tturning off the lights i had to leave on for cleaning, and it hits me. i'm flipping the exact same switches. so i shut the door quite tightly, leant [leaned?] against it to hold it shut, turned off the lights and realised i'd locked myself in. for about three minutes. thank god for co-workers is all i can say. although he didn't understand, so i was quite embarassed.

post, my pretties, post!
<bakemaster> Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires
<felstaff> Hype is like a giant disappointment ray aimed squarely at the finished article.
<watson> Treat me like a criminal, Holmes!
TMT4L
User avatar
German Sausage
3 of 5
 
Posts: 2933
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Postby Aoeniac » Tue Jan 30, 2007 7:40 pm UTC

I have to walk through a lot of small paths in dense woodland to get to most of my classes. There are a lot of ferns and various other undergrowth that likens my surroundings to how primordial forests are often portrayed, especially when it's really foggy out.

So often times I find myself walking down a path with nobody else on it, on a particularly misty morning, then I hear snapping or rustling off the path. My first thought is never "deer?" or "squirrel?" or "person?" or even "cougar?". No, it's always, "RAPTOR!? They probably already have an ambush set up, can I make it to a building with small windows before I lose too much blood? Maybe if there's somebody else on the path up ahead I can pass they'll get attacked first when they come from behind!"

Needless to say, there's probably a lot of people who are confused when I come bounding past them through the mist while muttering, "sucker!"
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Rat » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:17 pm UTC

Aoeniac wrote:I have to walk through a lot of small paths in dense woodland to get to most of my classes. There are a lot of ferns and various other undergrowth that likens my surroundings to how primordial forests are often portrayed, especially when it's really foggy out.

So often times I find myself walking down a path with nobody else on it, on a particularly misty morning, then I hear snapping or rustling off the path. My first thought is never "deer?" or "squirrel?" or "person?" or even "cougar?". No, it's always, "RAPTOR!? They probably already have an ambush set up, can I make it to a building with small windows before I lose too much blood? Maybe if there's somebody else on the path up ahead I can pass they'll get attacked first when they come from behind!"

Needless to say, there's probably a lot of people who are confused when I come bounding past them through the mist while muttering, "sucker!"


it doesnt matter what they think of you when theyre dead :wink:
User avatar
Rat
Rattus Trolleri
 
Posts: 929
Joined: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:40 pm UTC

Postby Mathmagic » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:03 pm UTC

Aoeniac wrote:I have to walk through a lot of small paths in dense woodland to get to most of my classes. There are a lot of ferns and various other undergrowth that likens my surroundings to how primordial forests are often portrayed, especially when it's really foggy out.

So often times I find myself walking down a path with nobody else on it, on a particularly misty morning, then I hear snapping or rustling off the path. My first thought is never "deer?" or "squirrel?" or "person?" or even "cougar?". No, it's always, "RAPTOR!? They probably already have an ambush set up, can I make it to a building with small windows before I lose too much blood? Maybe if there's somebody else on the path up ahead I can pass they'll get attacked first when they come from behind!"

Needless to say, there's probably a lot of people who are confused when I come bounding past them through the mist while muttering, "sucker!"

I want to go to school wherever you go. Or just have some of whatever you're smoking. Either one works.
Axman: That, and have you played DX 10 games? It's like having your corneas swabbed with clits made out of morphine.
Pathway: cocks cocks cocks
User avatar
Mathmagic
It's not as cool as that Criss Angel stuff.
 
Posts: 2926
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:48 am UTC
Location: In ur fora posting in teh threads

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:28 am UTC

mathmagic wrote:
Aoeniac wrote:I have to walk through a lot of small paths in dense woodland to get to most of my classes. There are a lot of ferns and various other undergrowth that likens my surroundings to how primordial forests are often portrayed, especially when it's really foggy out.

So often times I find myself walking down a path with nobody else on it, on a particularly misty morning, then I hear snapping or rustling off the path. My first thought is never "deer?" or "squirrel?" or "person?" or even "cougar?". No, it's always, "RAPTOR!? They probably already have an ambush set up, can I make it to a building with small windows before I lose too much blood? Maybe if there's somebody else on the path up ahead I can pass they'll get attacked first when they come from behind!"

Needless to say, there's probably a lot of people who are confused when I come bounding past them through the mist while muttering, "sucker!"

I want to go to school wherever you go. Or just have some of whatever you're smoking. Either one works.


So true... that sounds like an awesome place. Closest forest to here is like, i dont even know how far away.

I'm not actually too paranoid about raptors. Havent watched the movies enough.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Steven.nevets » Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:21 am UTC

I'm not actually too paranoid about raptors. Havent watched the movies enough.


I...You...Are you crazy? They are the single most dangerous threat to humanity! Raptors are the reason I can't enter my second floor closet. They're using it as a base, I can feel it...

Didn't you see the raptor safety videos in school? They are entertaining, informative, and feature guest star William Shatner as God.

I bought a copy for myself, watch it every week. You can't be caught unprepared! If you are, well, you'll die.
Steven.nevets
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:16 am UTC

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:08 am UTC

First thing: My house is kinda old, and the doors are generally locked from the inside, and are hard enough to open even when they are unlocked. Also, I have checked every are of my house for said raptors. The door handles are circular, so they would be quite hard to handle for raptors.... and theyre kinda old so they'd probably break first.

Windows are quite high off the ground here, and the ones closer to the ground have iron frames due to being stained glass and probably arent big enough for raptors anyway.

Also, I am not very heavy so i wouldnt make much of a meal.

I never said i was unprepared. :p

Just wondering, how good are raptors at getting through wooden doors? like, a proper sturdy wooden door, that was locked, has no door handle and drags along the floor badly anyway? Cause thats just about the only way they could get into the house.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Lani » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:09 am UTC

I think my kittens are raptors in training.
- Lani

"They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants."
User avatar
Lani
Has Boobs (Probably)
 
Posts: 3148
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:07 am UTC
Location: The People's Republic of Austin

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:17 am UTC

You just reminded me of the best speech i ever made. It was about cats vs dogs. Basically the whole class had already done their speeches, almost all pro-dog.

So, to start:

"I agree that dogs are better than cats..." *random people cheer*
"... When they are dead!" *zha-buh-whaaaa???*

hehehehehe...

I went on to make the points that cats are better at upholding aussie values ie. being lazy, and that they dont poop as inconveniently, and then got a whole lot nuttier by pointing out that cats are better for self defense, as lions, tigers and other animals are very nasty cats that would find dogs quite tasty.

Lots of other crap like that too.



I should get a pride of lions to help defend from raptors...
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Gordon » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:32 am UTC

lani wrote:I think my kittens are raptors in training.


I knew there was a reason I hated cats so much!
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.
User avatar
Gordon
Dr. Banana
Dr. Banana
 
Posts: 3521
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:51 am UTC
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby Aoeniac » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:24 am UTC

Image
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:48 am UTC

I reccomend Anti-raptor land mines and a couple of pistols with elephant tranqs

and possibly a detachment of robo-raptors.

That should fix all your problems. (Robo raptors wont eat you, cause they dont eat, end of story)
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Steven.nevets » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:08 pm UTC

Sorry Toeofdoom. I didn't understand what you meant. Glad to know we are all in on the fight.
Is there ever going to be an offensive launched against them?
Steven.nevets
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:16 am UTC

Postby Aoeniac » Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm UTC

Toeofdoom wrote:I went on to make the points that cats are better at upholding aussie values ie. being lazy, and that they dont poop as inconveniently,



Your cat has obviously never shat in your shower and dresser. It does it on purpose, because it knows full well how to use the litterbox and where it is. At least the dog paws at the door when it needs to go "take a stroll". The cat just does as it pleases and sits there with a smug face until I notice.

It's a good thing I don't live at home anymore. I'm not a pet person. Unless it's the kind of pet I can eat when I get tired of it... without going to Korea.
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:23 pm UTC

nah, our cat stayed outside most of the day anyway... sneaky little guy. My mum saw him actually holding the bell on his collar down so it wouldnt make a sound while he was creeping up on a bird.

Sorry to hear you have a malevolent sprirt haunting your cat :P



As for offensives against raptors, I may help if nessecary, but I'm currently not equipped for such an operation. Need to build robo-raptors first :(
Last edited by Toeofdoom on Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:26 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby rachel » Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:39 pm UTC

Guys, I am just going to have to put it out there that raptors aren't that bad. I mean, they eat you, and that is pretty shitty I guess. But the real threat here are zombies. For real. Think about it.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I played "porn" against my sister last night.
Meaux_Pas wrote:So in otherwords, it's like the best cake ever, covered in bees.


j&r-bffl
User avatar
rachel
Witch (?)
 
Posts: 2478
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:26 pm UTC

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:44 pm UTC

Nah, I took the zombie survival test, and it said I'd survive, so im perfectly fine.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Belial » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:25 pm UTC

Guys, I am just going to have to put it out there that raptors aren't that bad. I mean, they eat you, and that is pretty shitty I guess. But the real threat here are zombies. For real. Think about it.


Yes! The female-mammal is correct! The true threat is a totally likely assault by the animated corpses of our own mammal-kind. As someone who is clearly a mammal myself, I experience a deepseated and illogical fear of this occurence. All the time. Yep.

In fact, we should probably drop all efforts at any sort of raptor offensive and prepare for the imminent rising of our dead.

We have nothing to fear by exposing our delicious flank to those harmless (albeit brilliant and attractive) reptiles....
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.
User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
 
Posts: 30216
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:14 pm UTC

Pfft, it would be a simple genetic modification to make zombies eat raptor brains. So, we pay enough attention to the zombies to do that, then they go eat the raptor's brains, then we're all happy. Now, where is the nearest zombie infestation and genetics research plant?
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Aoeniac » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:41 am UTC

Toeofdoom wrote:Pfft, it would be a simple genetic modification to make zombies eat raptor brains. So, we pay enough attention to the zombies to do that, then they go eat the raptor's brains, then we're all happy. Now, where is the nearest zombie infestation and genetics research plant?


Please never use the words "simple" and "genetic modification" together like that.
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:16 am UTC

I was kinda joking in response to belial's "I'm a raptor" tone.

It doesnt even have to be genetic anyway... just teach them raptor brains are tasty and trying to eat human brains = pain.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby German Sausage » Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:45 am UTC

FOOL. zombies feel no pain. we cannot train them.
Zombie Survival Guide wrote:Zombies will always choose human flesh over that of other animals. When presented with two identical cubes of meat, a Zombie will always choose the human flesh. It is not known how the zombie tells which is which.

they will not go for the raptors. unless we are all gone. which is not good option. most of the strategies used against zombies (in terms of fortifications) should work against raptors also
-destroying stairs. i doubt that a raptor could jump to the second story
-locked HEAVY doors and barred windows. sure raptors can open doors, with latch handles. try a LOCKED door with a ball handle, bizatch.
-head shots. if CS has taught me anything, its that head shots are kills. no dispute. zombie, raptor, terrorist. all dealt with.

but most important, pre-emptive defence
-remote location. ok. if they can't find us they can't attack us. i recommennd an island like easter island. fairly large and very remote. we should start reforestation and restoring an ecosystem now so that when the zombies/raptors actually try to take down civilization we can all just up and leave.
be prepared.
<bakemaster> Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires
<felstaff> Hype is like a giant disappointment ray aimed squarely at the finished article.
<watson> Treat me like a criminal, Holmes!
TMT4L
User avatar
German Sausage
3 of 5
 
Posts: 2933
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Postby rachel » Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:18 am UTC

I am always tempted to tell all of you that there aren't even any raptors anywhere, but then I consider my (yes, horribly irrational) fear of zombies and reconsider. Go on and prepare, I'm sure it'll come in handy for something.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I played "porn" against my sister last night.
Meaux_Pas wrote:So in otherwords, it's like the best cake ever, covered in bees.


j&r-bffl
User avatar
rachel
Witch (?)
 
Posts: 2478
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:26 pm UTC

Postby Aoeniac » Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:22 am UTC

Somebody once told me Raptors were like Daleks and couldn't climb stairs. I'm pretty sure he's been eaten by now.
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:45 am UTC

German Sausage wrote:FOOL. zombies feel no pain. we cannot train them.
Zombie Survival Guide wrote:Zombies will always choose human flesh over that of other animals. When presented with two identical cubes of meat, a Zombie will always choose the human flesh. It is not known how the zombie tells which is which.

they will not go for the raptors. unless we are all gone. which is not good option. most of the strategies used against zombies (in terms of fortifications) should work against raptors also
-destroying stairs. i doubt that a raptor could jump to the second story
-locked HEAVY doors and barred windows. sure raptors can open doors, with latch handles. try a LOCKED door with a ball handle, bizatch.
-head shots. if CS has taught me anything, its that head shots are kills. no dispute. zombie, raptor, terrorist. all dealt with.

but most important, pre-emptive defence
-remote location. ok. if they can't find us they can't attack us. i recommennd an island like easter island. fairly large and very remote. we should start reforestation and restoring an ecosystem now so that when the zombies/raptors actually try to take down civilization we can all just up and leave.
be prepared.


That is an interesting point... but I think there's going to be a way around it.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby German Sausage » Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:45 am UTC

we might be able to train raptors to attack zombies, or trick them into eating zombie flesh, because its wildly toxic, according to the zombie survival guide.
but no attempts to train zombies would work. military applications of zombies are limited to trying to infect opposing armies or civilian populations (if you're unethical...REALLY unethical). the most practical operation would be to airdrop zombies into enemy territory (do raptors do territory? breeding grounds perhaps...)
<bakemaster> Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires
<felstaff> Hype is like a giant disappointment ray aimed squarely at the finished article.
<watson> Treat me like a criminal, Holmes!
TMT4L
User avatar
German Sausage
3 of 5
 
Posts: 2933
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:19 am UTC

What about Zombified raptors? they'd go for raptors first, yeah? probably would just end up with us against an army of zombie raptors though :/

I think robo-raptor armies would work really well against both opponents. Superior tactics, speed, strength etc, and immunity to poison and loss of brain.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby German Sausage » Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:25 am UTC

robo raptors have a main problem. fuel. assuming of course you have materials and expertise handy.
<bakemaster> Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires
<felstaff> Hype is like a giant disappointment ray aimed squarely at the finished article.
<watson> Treat me like a criminal, Holmes!
TMT4L
User avatar
German Sausage
3 of 5
 
Posts: 2933
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Feb 01, 2007 11:22 am UTC

Are we up to manufacturing like, quantum singularities yet?

Materials... well, we'd use preferably lightweight, hard stuff I guess. Theres a fair few of those types of things available.

But fuel... anything past the chemical level is out of the question at the moment :(

I'd say, failing some sort of magic "get energy from the world around you" device, We'd go with a nice big battery type thing, some solar panels so they can recharge if they run out of power, meaning we wont have to manually recover them if they can get some sunlight.

Ofcourse funding is an issue, with expensive materials and such, but I think we'd be best to finish the planning stages first.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby German Sausage » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:12 pm UTC

i think it would be better to buy some island. both in terms of funding and safety. hell, find one, rock up and start building...its not like anyone will notice, its an island with no people in the middle of the flipping ocean. who's gunna check?
<bakemaster> Only German Sausage can prevent forest fires
<felstaff> Hype is like a giant disappointment ray aimed squarely at the finished article.
<watson> Treat me like a criminal, Holmes!
TMT4L
User avatar
German Sausage
3 of 5
 
Posts: 2933
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am UTC

Postby thefiddler » Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:56 pm UTC

German Sausage wrote:i think it would be better to buy some island. both in terms of funding and safety. hell, find one, rock up and start building...its not like anyone will notice, its an island with no people in the middle of the flipping ocean. who's gunna check?

...They're smarter than you think. :(
User avatar
thefiddler
The Fora's Prophetess
 
Posts: 4035
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:07 am UTC
Location: The-middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere

Postby Belial » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:05 pm UTC

we might be able to train raptors to attack zombies, or trick them into eating zombie flesh, because its wildly toxic, according to the zombie survival guide.


I'm sorry. You seem to have mistaken the majestic and powerful raptor, of which I, a mammal, am logically terrified, for some kind of carrion eater. I suggest you reevaluate your strategy.


i think it would be better to buy some island. both in terms of funding and safety. hell, find one, rock up and start building...its not like anyone will notice, its an island with no people in the middle of the flipping ocean. who's gunna check?


Smarter. Island land is actually 30% less expensive than comparable mainland waterfront property.

And don't worry, you have nothing to fear from raptors using all the *barges* you left on the mainland to come find you.

So, mammal buddies, where are we going to build our island stronghold?
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.
User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
 
Posts: 30216
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC

Postby thefiddler » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:12 pm UTC

Belial wrote:So, mammal buddies, where are we going to build our island stronghold?

I don't know, but I do have a spot on this island, right...?

You wouldn't... abandon me... to the raptors...?

*cries*
User avatar
thefiddler
The Fora's Prophetess
 
Posts: 4035
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:07 am UTC
Location: The-middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere

Postby Belial » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:22 pm UTC

There there, little mammal, of *course* I wouldn't abandon you to those mean old raptors.

There will always be a place for you on the island paradise, conveniently between the grill and the place where we keep the breadcrumbs and butter....
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.
User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
 
Posts: 30216
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC

Postby thefiddler » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:26 pm UTC

Belial wrote:There will always be a place for you on the island paradise, conveniently between the grill and the place where we keep the breadcrumbs and butter....

...

*wonders whether she has a better chance on the mainland with the raptors and zombies...*

OK, but in all seriousness. I'm slightly paranoid about raptors, now. >.> <.<

Zombies, too, but that has been a long fear of mine.
Although 'Shaun of the Dead' was pretty hilarious. :D

Do you think we could ever capture both the zombies and raptors and... you know... stick them in pits to fight each other? To the... well... not-death (for zombies)? Like... dog fights... or, whatever. Anyways, that could provide hours of entertainment. :D
User avatar
thefiddler
The Fora's Prophetess
 
Posts: 4035
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:07 am UTC
Location: The-middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere

Postby Belial » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:28 pm UTC

Yes. Simple latches for the cages will suffice.

And be sure to keep the storage areas for the raptors near the center of your residential areas.

So you can....keep an eye on them. Yes. That's the ticket.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.
User avatar
Belial
A terrible sound heard from a distance
 
Posts: 30216
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:04 am UTC

Postby thefiddler » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:32 pm UTC

To be quite frank, you scare me. :(

I jest, I jest.

As long as I am far away from these residential areas, what do I care? :D
User avatar
thefiddler
The Fora's Prophetess
 
Posts: 4035
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:07 am UTC
Location: The-middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere

Postby Aoeniac » Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:59 pm UTC

You know what a really effective raptor and zombie deterrent is?

Molten lead.

Commonly found near shotguns.

Works on demons too.




On a side note, why is raptor, of all things, not part of the spell check for this forum?
Class: 12th level Epiphenomenalist Alignment: Rational
User avatar
Aoeniac
 
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:55 am UTC
Location: RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY SPOT→•

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Feb 01, 2007 11:37 pm UTC

Time to get some transperent aluminum. Star trek 4 informs me it was discovered over 20 years ago, so it should be available by now... That makes teal good cages.


Also... we're talking about raptors of the general dinosaur type right? Just cause i think I've heard of some sort of bird referred to as a raptor...


But yes, an island is a good idea. Remember though, that we will need to take global warming into account, for when the oceans rise.

We can either try to build our own island (Basically a giant boat type thing that has a fair few forests on it or something) which would be cool, so we can move it and stuff, and it floats when the ocean rises, or we can use an existing one.. Our american friends will also be in charge of defensive weaponary, and us aussies will be in charge of transporting the populations of cool animals, and checking for raptor impostors.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

Website
User avatar
Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
 
Posts: 3446
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:06 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby thefiddler » Thu Feb 01, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

Screw defense weaponry; let's gather all the people in one place and nuke other possible raptor spots.

OK, that's actually a terrible idea. :(

I kind of suck at this whole strategy thing, eh? :D
User avatar
thefiddler
The Fora's Prophetess
 
Posts: 4035
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:07 am UTC
Location: The-middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere

Next

Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: erminaawdry, Sidneynho and 7 guests