Raptors in real life

[Belial]

When you leave your delicious, meaty bodies, can the raptors have them?

[Toeofdoom]

i wouldn't trust them, but its not easy to change one's body temperature. and they can'y ALL be zen masters. i hope...[gulp]

It only takes one to kill you, if it gets close without you noticing.

Anyway... I took my first archery lesson today. I can hit a target around the size of a raptor's head about 3/4 shots, from 10 metres away, not too bad. I cant reload very fast yet though.

[Aoeniac]

Remember Predator?

And how Arnie covered himself in mud to insulate himself so he wouldn't show up so clearly on the infrared imaging?


New threat: muddy raptors. They'll eat your dog and ruin your carpet out of spite.

[Toeofdoom]

I'm thinking the mud idea is total bs, that would so not work. unless it was freezing cold...

[Regulus]

I'm thinking the mud idea is total bs, that would so not work. unless it was freezing cold...

But Predator was based on a true story...

[Toeofdoom]

As was star trek... they just made a few modifications to make it more interesting :p

[Regulus]

I have always seen "based on a true story" as a fairly suspect phrase...

[Toeofdoom]

Yeah, same here. Anyway, I'm probably going to be continuing archery fairly often. I'll tell you if i get to test it on any raptors.

[Phob0s]

But, if we were to design our own giant boat-thing to live on, it could be designed to be specifically raptor proof. I suppose their raptor brains could work around some of our defenses, but our human intuition can be quite an equalizing force...

[Toeofdoom]

Of course. First there is the giant moat, also known as the pacific ocean (sorry, but the atlantic is always the one to get hit by all the natural disasters... them movies says so)

Then, the fact that the main city area is raised above the rest of the island, along with vital things such as the farms, etc. The entrances to this level are constantly monitored.

Also, all citizens are equipped with raptor defense weaponry, tranquilizers dart pistols and that shit.

Constant infra-red satellite surveillance is also active, because we will hack into the US government spy network, as they are sure to be watching us.

Lastly, periodically around the city there are gas grenade tyoe things, designed to knock everything unconcious, or atleast raptors, if we are able to exclude other things, at which point the area is secured by all the other citizens. Who have gas masks also.

[Phob0s]

So I take it our... shall we call it a boat? ... well, I think the residential area ought to be raised a good hundred meters above the rest of our boat. the only access to our raised utopia is by closely monitored elevators.

But really, I think our real problem will be when the zombie raptors come. those things would have no sense of self preservation.
that's what keeps me up at night.

[Nonthought]

I was watching UKTV Documentary. They had a short 'You're watching stuff!' ad, which consisted of a short corridor that suddenly became alive with raptor. It was in and out in a blink of an eye!

It undoubtably killed the camera-man.

[Toeofdoom]

Call it an Island. or even better, XKCD Island. It would be much cooler and less boring to live on to have it a proper landmass than just some metal boat.

Its a floating island, but whatever.

[Phob0s]

What powers it?
a simple coal-steam engine would require such ridiculous amounts of coal, we probably would be able to move 20 feet. and we wouldn't want to be floating randomly, we might crash into a real land mass.
cover the rest of our island with solar panels, maybe?
make it electric?

[Phob0s]

and, yeah, i totally have been imagining it as a floating island.
XKCD island...
p.s. it's too late for me to use capitals, and i apologize.
(im too lazy to press shift, but willing to type out an apology about it... hm... it appears my logic-circuits are broken)

[Toeofdoom]

Yeah, I was thinking solar panels mainly. And you'd get some pretty strong winds over oceans sometimes? so that too i guess. Large batteries to store power too ofcourse.

Anyway, we would probably mainly anchor it, and raise the anchor system whenever we decided the ocean currents were going the right way. Its not like it needs to be moved heaps, although moving it to where weather is nice could be good.

[Phob0s]

ah, good point. i suppose we wouldn't particularly have to run away from anyone.
how big would XKCD Island be? how many people does it have to support?
would it be theoretically possible to have a small nuclear power plant?

[Nonthought]

I propose that drilling equipment suitable for sub-zero conditions be included in XKCD Island's manifest, so that we could take advantage of the theoretical minerals in the Antartic should we run short on materials.

[Phob0s]

I think we should also take some helicopters. We will have them in case our city is overrun, and we need to make a quick escape from the raptors. Of course, stranded in the ocean we would not be able to easily get much fuel for them, so it would be a last ditch effort kind of thing.

[thefiddler]

We should assign duties. You know, who does what, etc. Shotty not-bathroom-cleaning-duty.

I will cook, though? But I can't cook on a large scale. When I have to cook for more than ten, it is a disaster.

So, yes.

[fjafjan]

I think your average xkcder is too lazy, we will have to build robots, and I will manage them

[Nonthought]

But then the raptors will haxx0r them, and we'll be stuck between sharp teeth and laser-beams.

[The Chief]

I agree with fellow mammal Belial. You would need a powerful medium to long range weapon to kill just one of the fantastic and majestic raptor species. Explosives would not likely work, since it is a proven fact that raptors can disarm any explosive in a mere mammal second. Grenade launchers would work in a corridor, perhaps. If fellow mammals are without a flamethrower or grenade launcher, one must lay down and pray to their respective mammal god.

Of course, any intelligent raptor will simply headbutt one, and if you're on the ground in front of a raptor, it will be all over for you. Just the mere sight of a raptor slowly sinking his sickle toe into your frail pink and quite tasty flesh will cause other mammals to flee in terror.

Also, do not play the game Dino Crisis. Aestheic darts will not aid you.

[ivnja]

that's.....well, a very creepy first post

[Aoeniac]

I think what we need to do is train all of Italy how to unclog drains and seal pipes.

Dinosaurs are no problem at all for Italian plumbers.

Also did anybody else giggle at the Dr. McNinja comic with the ninja exclaiming "clever girl" as the raptor attacked?

[Mathmagic]

that's.....well, a very creepy first post

Don't you get it? "The Chief", is, in fact, a RAPTOR himself! There is a MOLE among us! Somebody tipped them off.

Here's proof:

fantastic and majestic raptor species.

quite tasty flesh

Coincidence? I think not...

[Belial]

Nonsense. The chief is as mammalian as it gets. All with his....hair, and his.....disgusting, scale-less flesh, and live-birthing females.

Yep. Totally a mammal. I think you must be trying to draw attention away from the fact that *you're* a raptor, raptor!

[cephalopod9]

Just to clarify, we're talking velociraptors, not utahraptors, right? A utahraptor would be a lot harder to take down.
What's with all the talk of guns? Sure, that'd be great if you seem them coming way off in the distance running single file, but for me, I'd rather have something of more of a stabbing and blocking sort of nature. They've got those big eye sockets, and long skinny necks, so if you can block the talons, it seems like it'd be easy enough to incappacitate one with a well planted strike.

(also, the Itallian plumbers are working with the dinosaurs; it's a conspiracy)

[Toeofdoom]

I'm thinking velociraptors are pretty fast, so you'r want a weapon you can swing quickly. It seems like a pistol would generally work better anyway.

[Mathmagic]

Nonsense. The chief is as mammalian as it gets. All with his....hair, and his.....disgusting, scale-less flesh, and live-birthing females.

Yep. Totally a mammal. I think you must be trying to draw attention away from the fact that *you're* a raptor, raptor!

Well, if I'm a raptor, as you suggest, would I be able to do THIS?

*Speedily runs around the house, opening door after door, effortlessly turning those smooth, round doorknobs*

Exactly. Now let's get this back on topic...

Now refresh my memory, who's going to be taking down Belial and The Chief, seeing as they ARE insider raptors? Since they appear to be unusually intelligent raptors (why else would they be in this fora?), we could just shove an impossibly confusing algorithm in front of them, OR we could get them to expand Graham's Number. Any other suggestions?

[Aoeniac]

Joke's on them, since we're all really cephelapods here.

[Belial]

Really? Shit, we've been barking up the wrong tree.

Well, since we won't be hunting and killing you, want to just sit around and laugh about the humans and how they think they rule the planet?

(Which suddenly reminds me of a conversation with a sub-aquatic fey from one of the world of darkness books....

"And since we rule the world....."

"Wait, what?"

"The planet is, what, 30% dry land? Do the math.")

[German Sausage]

i like the name XKCD Island, i had been imagining it as a variant on the "Sea Forts" of WWII in the english channel.

-phobos - i would expect about 150 people, and i think we could house them all in a vessel maybe 2.5km by 500m. it would be a few stories deep (not high, i'm thinking we have a signifigcant section of XKCD Island underwater, just cos it's cool. also, the idea of having the living areas 100m up is ridiculous. 100' is still crazy. 15m should be more than sufficient, and even then, thats really inefficient use of space, which leads me to my next thingo- i would prefer not to have everyone armed all the time. i figure we'll see anything coming at least an hour beforehand, and then some or most of us can take out the raptors as they approach.
-Toeofdoom - gas grenades? you play too many games, boy
-Fjafjan, i approve of a robot workforce, leaving us to the important task of staying alive and being more efficient at whatever it is we are doing.
-Nonthought - clearly we will not have workers with lasers. tasks that the raptors could turn against us would be performed by humans. however, the idea of using the antarctic for resources is fantastic.
as for power, i would think 1/2 the roof as solar cells and the other 1/2 as a greenhouse/park for growing the food we need and cannot get from the sea. think of those community farms that show up in some cities, melbourne has ceres, i'm sure your hometown has an equivalent. some sort of reactor could be useful for movement, but waste would be a huge issue. so also sails for when they would be applicable

Non-Raptor Issues...
pirates. we would need some sort of conventional defense system
food. we can grow some, and get a lot from the ocean, but we will need some dietary requirements from land

[Toeofdoom]

-Toeofdoom - gas grenades? Rolling Eyes you play too many games, boy

games...? what games even have gas grenades...? and i dont play many computer games... Is there something wrong with the idea? It would be a way to disable the raptors without killing any humans, and would hit any hidden raptors aswell. Atleast thats if we could find a gas that would do that... it would be a great advantage to have.

the main city area is raised above the rest of the island, along with vital things such as the farms, etc.

I already mentioned farms :p

And yeah, other things you mention: 150 people or so is good, you can learn to know that many people on sight, but still have enough variation that it doesnt seem really small. 100-250 would be a possible range though.

How high would the main deck need to be? We wouldnt want sea water getting all over the plants, unless we had extremely salt tolerant ones, and solar cells, so they might have to be raised a fair bit really.


Anyway, so basically we start with a giant floating cuboid type thing, mostly underwater. If we had say, half our food as plants from the farms (meat uses up alot more space) and half as seafood, how much farm space would we need? i suppose the amount you said seems reasonable. A few smaller boats would be used too for fishing and trading, all crew members armed there atleast, where allowed by local law. Also, we could trade with a bunch of other countrys for food we could not produce ourselves, such as the meat products and eggs/milk.

Water is from rainwater and a few purifying plants i guess. Heavy machinery like the water purifiers would be on the bottom decks partlyas ballast i guess, along with any propulsion machinery, sewerage treatment plants, etc. Those things would be good to have mainly robots working on.

Also, I would reccomend having the wind farm things all over the island. like, fit them between solar cells and farm sections, because they wouldnt block out too much sunlight anyway.


I can get to work on a plan if you like... :p or a 3D model type thing.

[Aoeniac]

Island strongholds will not save you from the might LAND SQUIDS!

[German Sausage]

Land Squids? now you're just being squilly

but wind farms, definitely. hell, we could dispense with the solar cells maybe and have alot more garden/farms with wind farms interspersed
i think that its important to have a bit of the garden for relaxation, with nice grass (the walking on kind, but if we wanna grow our own, so be it...)

[Toeofdoom]

Land Squids? now you're just being squilly

They're featured in scarygoround under a different name, but they wont be a problem because they severely underestimate the effort required to learn to walk >.>

[thefiddler]

May I pose a question?

What... what if the raptors aren't real? What if this is some dirty trick being played on humanity by... someone else?

Oh god. My whole world is falling apart.

...

Nah...
I think I'll stick with XKCD Island, just to be safe.

[Toeofdoom]

In any case, even if raptors arent real, XKCD island would still be pretty awesome, so who cares? who wouldnt want to live on a giant boat, with its own forests and food sources and whatnot and a great bunch of smart young people... nerd parties anyone?


Oh and who can brew beer/wine? we need someone to do that >.>

[German Sausage]

bang up for that~ midori/mountain dew mixers and calculus! w00t!
[Note:does not like drink midori, which means i will drink it but not buy it]...although we could grow melons fairly easily. vodkamelon, anyone?

as for gas grenades, most sneaking games have some sort of gas mine...deus ex, thief has a variant, poison traps sorta stuff. i reckon that a lockout system would have more use, as it could double as an anti-sinking thingo...like a system of airlocks.

i'm sure we can read up on brewing, figure it out from basics. thats one of my projects during uni. to brew my own beer for <$3 a longneck, including bottle costs. and have it taste nice, coopers (australian beer, for you foreigners) brewing kits are my starting point.

why does every thread i am significantly active in involve intensive commune talks? this and the treehouses one, for reference.