*almost* the best superpower in the world

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Echo244 » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:27 pm UTC

In fact, you can't *not* paint, sketch, draw, sculpt or otherwise perfectly depict even the slightest fleeting thought that's going through your mind at any given point. So that everyone around you can see it.

I can control the results of opinion polls and elections through the power of my mind. Including retroactively.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:19 pm UTC

You are captured and tortured to make an evil dictator win elections.

I can fly.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 26, 2016 10:17 am UTC

Paper airplanes.

I have x-ray vision.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:13 pm UTC

But it is so overpowered you cause blisters on everyone you look at.

I can lift cars.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:43 pm UTC

But only cars. You can't lift a cup or a pair of socks or a hair on your head. Just full-size cars.

I can see sound. (It is a real superpower, of course, and I wish I had it.)
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:48 pm UTC

But you can't hear it anymore, and the lights you see with every sound are so overwhelming that you can't see the visual world anymore either. You can't see detailed enough to understand people when they talk.

My guesses are always exactly correct.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

And you made the off-hand remark "I guess the world's coming to an end".

I can teleport.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby SirGabriel » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:08 pm UTC

But only to places you can see. Unfortunately, you are blind.

I have a genie who can grant me an unlimited number of wishes and who always interprets wishes in accord with the intentions of the wisher.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:12 pm UTC

The limitations of those wishes make the effect zero. Also you get arrested for slavery.

I can always perfectly predict the effect my words and actions will have on others.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:16 pm UTC

But you still say things as impulsively as ever, meaning you instantly know when you've set disaster in motion by running your mouth, and there's often nothing you can do about it.

I can make animals fly.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:23 pm UTC

With a trebuchet.

I can read minds, when and only when I want to.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Jan 26, 2016 2:27 pm UTC

You can't choose which, though. On any one attempt to read minds, it might be someone's on the other side of the world. Could be a billion minds all at once.

I never make mistakes.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby flicky1991 » Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:06 pm UTC

But you also can't help pointing out other people's mistakes, which you always spot because you're never wrong about anything. People start to hate you for it.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby SirGabriel » Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:42 pm UTC

However, you cannot copy their voice or mannerisms.

I have enough money to purchase everything I would like to purchase and to donate as much as I would like to whomever I would like to donate to.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby bug sniper » Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:52 am UTC

Only in bittokens, a successor to bitcoins that is worthless unless validated by a business owner with a credit validation license.

I have the technical, economical, and political expertise to make such a system work.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby emlightened » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:39 pm UTC

Unfortunately, you are also a technophobe.

(Learning that technical expertise was horrifying.)

I have the ability to change my form to how I want it.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:15 pm UTC

As long as you are able to specify everything about your new form, down to each individual atom. If you don't know the chemistry and physics required to work that out, you can't change.

I have the ability to teach anyone anything perfectly.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby emlightened » Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:18 pm UTC

Unfortunately, to do that, you have to use a form of telepathy that only works at very close range. Most people don't like you trying to get close enough to kiss them to teach them stuff.

I am able to stop people from feeling sh*t about themselves.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:19 pm UTC

By absorbing their depression into your own mind.

I can fly like a bird.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby emlightened » Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:32 pm UTC

...with two broken wings.

I can make chicks follow me.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:17 am UTC

emlightened wrote:I can make chicks follow me.

Yes you can.
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flicky1991 wrote:But you also can't help pointing out other people's mistakes, which you always spot because you're never wrong about anything. People start to hate you for it.

Been there, done that.

I can perfectly draw any image from memory.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:01 am UTC

Which would be useful if you were able to form memories.

I can understand how the designers of Autocad think.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:12 am UTC

On a technical level, that is. Neurons firing, brain hemispheres. Yes, modern neuroscience makes sense to you. Doesn't much help you understand what they are thinking, of course.

I can start, and subsequently perfectly predict and control, nuclear fusion, in any substance, from any distance, using only my mind.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:27 am UTC

You get captured an dissected to figure out how you do that.

I see the root cause for any problem, bug or error immediately.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:16 pm UTC

Because it's always you.

I can lift anything no matter the weight.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:20 pm UTC

Assuming a long enough lever and a place to stand.

I can create and throw fireballs at my more annoying colleagues and not get injured myself.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby SirGabriel » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:34 pm UTC

They are grateful for the free shots of fireball whiskey that you gave them.

I am fluent in every known language (including spoken languages, written languages, computer programming languages, etc.).

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:37 pm UTC

But you are no longer able to formulate more complex sentences than "hodor".

I can travel through time at will.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Jan 29, 2016 5:49 am UTC

But not through space. The Earth leaves you behind on your first attempt.

I can imitate any voice I've heard perfectly.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby emlightened » Fri Jan 29, 2016 7:24 am UTC

Unfortunately, you're deaf.

I can throw things with great accuracy.
← approximately how gay I am.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Jan 30, 2016 11:29 pm UTC

But not at will. You just suddenly find yourself throwing whatever you were holding perfectly at moving targets.

I can enter any fictional world when watching/reading/playing the relevant media.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby emlightened » Sun Jan 31, 2016 12:00 am UTC

Unfortunately, you can't get out again. Things get even more confusing when you enter the world of Inkheart (it's a novel where the main characters can read themselves into books and read things out of books).

I can juggle.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Feb 08, 2016 10:25 am UTC

Only chainsaws.

I can juggle anything.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Feb 08, 2016 10:29 am UTC

You try to prove this by juggling the planets while standing on the sun, but you notice your are not heat proof and the sun has no real surface.

I am impervious to heat.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Feb 08, 2016 11:08 am UTC

And since all of the things you need on a daily basis - air, water, food, etc. have at least some amount of heat, you die.

I can arbitrarily regulate my body temperature with no adverse side-effects.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:15 pm UTC

But only in one direction - quick, choose hot or cold!

I can make good or bad karma manifest immediately.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:24 pm UTC

For everyone at the same time (because that's how karma works, duh).

I can travel backward in time.
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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby faubiguy » Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:57 pm UTC

But not forwards. You experience time in reverse.

I can freely travel to arbitrary points in time.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby Neil_Boekend » Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:17 pm UTC

But you have to correct your position with respect to the core of the Andromeda galaxy. One slight miscalculation means you end up in space, or inside the earth.

I wish for a shot of espresso.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

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Re: *almost* the best superpower in the world

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:21 pm UTC

You turn on the news to discover there's been a mass shooting of bags of coffee beans at an espresso bar.

I can arbitrarily adjust the flow of time - speed it up, slow it down, stop it, reverse it, you name it.
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