**Spoiler:**

## Favorite math jokes

**Moderators:** gmalivuk, Moderators General, Prelates

### Re: Favorite math jokes

What do painting a still life and constructing the rationals have in common?

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Here's one I just thought up.

A man walks into a bar, followed by a line of countably infinite mathematicians. The man orders a beer, and the bartender serves him. The bartender asks the first mathematician for his order. He thinks for a second, then points to the man and says "I'll have what he's having." The second mathematician, not to be outdone, thinks for half a second, then points to the first and shouts "I'll have TWICE what he's having!" A quarter-second later, the third mathematician points at the second and shouts "I'll have twice what SHE's having!" The rest of the mathematicians follow suit. The bartender, frustrated, takes back the man's beer.

A man walks into a bar, followed by a line of countably infinite mathematicians. The man orders a beer, and the bartender serves him. The bartender asks the first mathematician for his order. He thinks for a second, then points to the man and says "I'll have what he's having." The second mathematician, not to be outdone, thinks for half a second, then points to the first and shouts "I'll have TWICE what he's having!" A quarter-second later, the third mathematician points at the second and shouts "I'll have twice what SHE's having!" The rest of the mathematicians follow suit. The bartender, frustrated, takes back the man's beer.

gmalivuk wrote:Yes. And if wishes were horses, wishing wells would fill up very quickly with drowned horses.King Author wrote:If space (rather, distance) is an illusion, it'd be possible for one meta-me to experience both body's sensory inputs.

- Eebster the Great
**Posts:**2978**Joined:**Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:58 am UTC

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Surely it's a countably infinite line of mathematicians, not a line of countably infinite mathematicians. Unless each one has an unbounded number of cells or something.

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Eebster the Great wrote:Surely it's a countably infinite line of mathematicians, not a line of countably infinite mathematicians. Unless each one has an unbounded number of cells or something.

They must be very dense.

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Sizik wrote:Here's one I just thought up.

A man walks into a bar, followed by a line of countably infinite mathematicians. The man orders a beer, and the bartender serves him. The bartender asks the first mathematician for his order. He thinks for a second, then points to the man and says "I'll have what he's having." The second mathematician, not to be outdone, thinks for half a second, then points to the first and shouts "I'll have TWICE what he's having!" A quarter-second later, the third mathematician points at the second and shouts "I'll have twice what SHE's having!" The rest of the mathematicians follow suit. The bartender, frustrated, takes back the man's beer.

Variation on this joke: A countably infinite line of people walks into a bar. The first person, who is well known as an alcoholic, orders a beer. The second person, not wanting to appear to be as much of a drunkard as the first, says "I'll have half of what she's having." The third one wants to appear even less inclined toward the evils of drink than the second and says, "I'll have half of what he's having." The bartender, seeing the trend and not wishing to spend eternity taking these orders, puts two beers down on the bar and says, "Here are all your drinks, but you'll have to share them out yourselves."

### Re: Favorite math jokes

So why don't most mathematicians go around proving the unsolvability of the general quintic?

They're not Abel.

They're not Abel.

FiveMinute.net: Because stuff is long and life is short

- Monika
- Welcoming Aarvark
**Posts:**3660**Joined:**Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC**Location:**Germany, near Heidelberg-
**Contact:**

### Re: Favorite math jokes

CZeke wrote:So why don't most mathematicians go around proving the unsolvability of the general quintic?

They're not Abel.

LOL

#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel

Please donate to help these people

Please donate to help these people

### Re: Favorite math jokes

The Romans could never have invented algebra, because they always thought X = 10.

gmalivuk wrote:Yes. And if wishes were horses, wishing wells would fill up very quickly with drowned horses.King Author wrote:If space (rather, distance) is an illusion, it'd be possible for one meta-me to experience both body's sensory inputs.

- Monika
- Welcoming Aarvark
**Posts:**3660**Joined:**Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC**Location:**Germany, near Heidelberg-
**Contact:**

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Sizik wrote:The Romans could never have invented algebra, because they always thought X = 10.

#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel

Please donate to help these people

Please donate to help these people

### Re: Favorite math jokes

(from twitter)

Mathematicians often like to point out the obvious, such as "Anagram is an anagram of anagram." It gives them a sense of group identity.

Mathematicians often like to point out the obvious, such as "Anagram is an anagram of anagram." It gives them a sense of group identity.

- doogly
- Dr. The Juggernaut of Touching Himself
**Posts:**5387**Joined:**Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:31 am UTC**Location:**Somerville, MA-
**Contact:**

### Re: Favorite math jokes

Which reminds me:

What is the best anagram of Banach Tarski?

Banach Tarski Banach Tarski.

What is the best anagram of Banach Tarski?

Banach Tarski Banach Tarski.

LE4dGOLEM: What's a Doug?

Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.

Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.

Or; Is that your eye butthairs?

Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.

Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.

Or; Is that your eye butthairs?

### Re: Favorite math jokes

doogly wrote:Which reminds me:

What is the best anagram of Banach Tarski?

Banach Tarski Banach Tarski.

The more that joke gets deconstructed, the the funnier it gets.

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=5683&start=66

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=5683#p439797

http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=45543#p1794723

- Yakk
- Poster with most posts but no title.
**Posts:**11077**Joined:**Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:27 pm UTC**Location:**E pur si muove

### Re: Favorite math jokes

The Banach Tarski joke was only told once, but someone rearranged it.

One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision - BR

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.

### Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests