Avengers: Infinity War

[charliepanayi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZfuNTqbHE8

Alright chucklefucks, since this asshole couldn't be bothered - It's Talon Time!

In this corner we gotta giant purple fucker named Thanos! Thanos the God! Thanos the Immortal! Thanos the bro with a helicopter with his name on the side!

In this corner we got the Squadgoals Squad, the Laughin' Buddies Brigade, the Nick Fury's Agents of Snark, The Avengers! Captain 'Murrica, Iron Bro, Thunderhammer, Green Screamy, The Hot One, Magic Robot Man, Superspy, and Weird Girl! Also maybe Tiny Man, Tinier Woman, Wingface, and maybe Teenage Deadpool Ropeswinger and African Iron Bro.

In this third corner we've got Space Pirates! The green one, the scarred one, the tree one, the human one, and the best one. And maybe the blue murdery one and the best one's motion capture guy.

In yet another corner are all the people I didn't mention! People like Dr. Sherlock Cumberbund! Tricky Tom with the Horns! Whatever's left of Thunderhammer's people like I-can't-spell-his-name "Dreamy Contacts" Elba! That guy made of Rock! Possibly the Defenders because we all want to see Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Marty, and Punchkick Bro in a feature film! Maybe Rooty-Tooty-Skullshirt-Shooty! Who knows! Sky's the fuckin' limit here, folks!

And Adam Motherfucking Goldenboy Warlock! At some point! Holy blazing shit balls, folks! Adam Goddamn Warlock on the Silver Screen!

...


There. That's how you make a fuckin' OP.

-SecondTalon

[freezeblade]

I, for one, embrace our Talon-y overlord.

[Pfhorrest]

I wonder how tragic The Vision's death will be, considering that he was just born yesterday and, nice guy that he is, probably won't complain that much for his own sake about dying. Tragic turning point in the movie, or "oh well"?

[Peaceful Whale]

:round of applause:

Way to go talon!... can you do this for all the movie threads?

[SecondTalon]

Only ones where the poster provides a link with zero context beyond a thread name as to what the link is.

Then I'll write a post about what I believe the link is about, having not watched it.

Because fuck watching random ass-links without knowing what it is before I click it. This isn't 1997 and I'm not a teenager - I got shit to do.

[charliepanayi]

Only ones where the poster provides a link with zero context beyond a thread name as to what the link is.

Then I'll write a post about what I believe the link is about, having not watched it.

Because fuck watching random ass-links without knowing what it is before I click it. This isn't 1997 and I'm not a teenager - I got shit to do.

Jeez, all I did was post a trailer link (what else would it have been anyway?), no need to be a snarky ass about it.

[Liri]

I don't think there was much snark going on there.

[Zohar]

The trailer makes it seem a lot more all-out war than any of the previous Avengers movies have looked like, doesn't it? I guess that's what happens when you need to give screen time to 50 people.

I doubt Vision will die since he hasn't been on for long enough. He'll probably get uploaded to Tony's computer again and recreated once they beat Thanos.

[SecondTalon]

Only ones where the poster provides a link with zero context beyond a thread name as to what the link is.

Then I'll write a post about what I believe the link is about, having not watched it.

Because fuck watching random ass-links without knowing what it is before I click it. This isn't 1997 and I'm not a teenager - I got shit to do.

Jeez, all I did was post a trailer link (what else would it have been anyway?), no need to be a snarky ass about it.

Anyone else excited for this? Personally, I'm not sure how they're going to work everything in without it seeming forced, but even their worst so far has been as good or better than DC's offerings, and it's not like there's a successful film template for this.

It is interesting that they have tried to make them as self-contained as they can, outside the core films at least (probably Avengers and Captain America) so people who haven't seen Ant Man can keep up.

Anyone else looking forward to it?




....

See? Not difficult at all to give a few different discussion points - and I still haven't actually watched the thing yet.

Hell, you could even swap out my positive modifiers for negative or midland ones, and it still works.

[Zohar]

Hell, you could even swap out my positive modifiers for negative or midland ones, and it still works.

Anyone else excited filled with unstoppable rage for this? Personally, I'm not sure how certain they're going to work everything in without it seeming forced with it becoming a giant cluster fuck, but even their worst best so far has been as good or better than not nearly on par as DC's offerings, and it's not like there's a successful film template for this.! Get it together, Marvel!

You're right!

[Peaceful Whale]

Go visit the Just Us thread. Those are DC fans, digging a grave.

[SecondTalon]

Hell, you could even swap out my positive modifiers for negative or midland ones, and it still works.

Anyone else excited filled with unstoppable rage for this? Personally, I'm not sure how certain they're going to work everything in without it seeming forced with it becoming a giant cluster fuck, but even their worst best so far has been as good or better than not nearly on par as DC's offerings, and it's not like there's a successful film template for this.! Get it together, Marvel!

You're right!

Oh shit, am I a Russian bot?


Back to the point of the redtext and all, the point of starting a thread is to discuss a topic. You, the OP, are saying "Here is a topic I would like to discuss. Here are a few different points about the topic that can be discussed. It's now up to you, the reader, to discuss the points I brought up or your own takes on the topic"

If you cannot provide that framework for the opening post of a topic....... don't? Leave it to someone else? That seems like a good option.


Oh, and having watched the thing - even their trailers have end credit teasers. Jesus. But I assume they're saving Adam's reveal for the end of Part 1

[Zohar]

Go visit the Just Us thread. Those are DC fans, digging a grave.

I never said replacing the text would make sense, just that it would work :)

[Peaceful Whale]

[SecondTalon]

I'm going to need to move my groups around. Thunderhammer is with the Space Pirates. Dr. Sherlock Cucumbledum seems to be with Nicky Fury's Fantastic Friends. Knowhere is presumably gone so... where's Cosmo?

Cosmo's gonna save the day. Hail Cosmo!

[pkcommando]

Cosmo's gonna save the day. Hail Cosmo!

I'm still holding out hope that Squirrel Girl shows up in the final minutes to destroy Thanos and save the day in a matter of seconds. The final moments will be everyone standing around wondering, 'WTF just happened?'

Stingers will feature a montage of whatever Cosmo was up to during the movie. One scene will be playing frisbee with Stan Lee, ofc.

[mosc]

This is the end, right? They can't go on from here. Is there anything they've announced after this? This should just have some kinda permanent universe altering climax which resets the universe back to pre-iron man normalcy right?

[Zohar]

According to Wiki, this is the schedule:
2018-02 Black Panther
2018-05 Avengers: Infinity War
2018-07 Ant-Man and the Wasp
2019-03 Captain Marvel
2019-05 Untitled Avengers film that's supposed to close the Infinity War storyline and "phase 3" of the MCU
2019-07 Spider-Man sequel
2020 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Hopefully once they're done with this storyline they start to silo back into more self-contained stories. I'm surprised there's no Doctor Strange sequel already announced.

[Liri]

Binofsticks is probably tricky to pin down to something.

Back when these first started, I was planning on keeping up with them, but things have not gone to plan.

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

[Diadem]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

I would assume "Infinity War: Part 2". I am a bit surprised to see that movie listed as untitled.

Because it's not a sequel right? I thought infinity wars was going to be split in two?

[SecondTalon]

Infinity War : We're Just Getting Started

Infinity War 2 : Is the Electric Boogaloo joke played out yet?

Infinity War 3 : We Finally Got Adam Warlock in the fucking thing.

Infinity War 4 : We just now noticed that the costumes from Avengers XXX were better than ours so we bought (and thoroughly cleaned) them.

Infinity War 5 : Okay, the costumes had attachments and functions we weren't expecting. Our bad.

Infinity War 5: wait, shit, we did this one.

Infinity War 8 : Fuck the Neverending Story

Infinity War 7: The guy in charge of numbers has been sacked.

Infinity War 10 : We hired the numbering guy from Microsoft.

Infinity War Nexus : second to last one!

Infinity War Endgame : Cosmo Saves Everyone

Infinity War End Credits : Literally an hour and a half of end credit sequences we were going to do but couldn't find a place to put them

[Zohar]

The infinity gauntlet is cool and all, but can it find and keep the perfect temperature of a hot shower? Well then what is it good for, anyway?

[SecondTalon]

The infinity gauntlet is cool and all, but can it find and keep the perfect temperature of a hot shower? Well then what is it good for, anyway?

It can find and keep the temperatures in all showers in all times across all realities.

If yours are wrong, you're not showering at the same times as the current wielder, you have different temperature preferences, or the wielder is fucking with you.

[mosc]

Infinity War 10 : We hired the numbering guy from Microsoft.

LMAO!

[cphite]

Anyone else excited for this? Personally, I'm not sure how they're going to work everything in without it seeming forced, but even their worst so far has been as good or better than DC's offerings, and it's not like there's a successful film template for this.

I really wish they'd cut down on the number of characters, to be perfectly honest. The original Avengers movie pushed the limit, in my opinion, for the number of superhero characters you can have in a movie without it seeming completely forced. I get what they're trying to do... Thanos is supposed to be a major badass that's so far beyond anything they've ever faced, and so on and so forth, and that's why it worked in the comic books... but even there it seemed kinda forced. I dunno... I'm excited to see what they do with it, and I fully expect a lot of awesome effects and exciting moments... but I am keeping my expectations low for it as a film, if that makes any sense.

It is interesting that they have tried to make them as self-contained as they can, outside the core films at least (probably Avengers and Captain America) so people who haven't seen Ant Man can keep up.

One of the things about the whole comic genre is that you're kind of expected to do some legwork when characters show up in a series... if you don't know who Ant Man is, the expectation is that you go to the comic book store and find some Ant Man comics, or ask other fans, or whatever. Or you just accept that here is a new character you didn't know about and figure out who they are - which is pretty easy considering they're all named and dressed to match what they do.

Movies don't have that, at least not as much of it... there are a whole lot of people watching the movie have no experience with or interest in comics. These people want a backstory that explains who this new person is and what they do. Which is kinda what Marvel is going for... they're making a movie that at least a certain number of people will feel like they need to see other movies just to appreciate. My wife, for example, has zero interest in comics but she enjoys the movies - and every time a new one comes out she's like "We have to see that so I know what's happening in the next one..."

Every time she says that, somewhere, a marketing person smiles.

[pkcommando]

For those worried about too many characters, rest assured -- they will absolutely find time for Tony to be a dick to somebody, and to do so repeatedly. Everything else is filler after that.

[Chen]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

I would assume "Infinity War: Part 2". I am a bit surprised to see that movie listed as untitled.

Because it's not a sequel right? I thought infinity wars was going to be split in two?

That was the original intent with the naming but it looks like they've changed the name of the second one. So maybe they changed direction?

[Sableagle]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

"Nearly Two Decades' Peace" perhaps? Just long enough for the ones too young during or born after the current war to develop their powers, get their driving licences, register to vote and start another. It's traditional.

We're leaving it a little late for a survivor of My Lai to be the next Magneto, but if they can drag the Holocaust survivor out for another few years we can have some kid from Fallujah or Aleppo trying not to lose the only family he or she still has.

[rmsgrey]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

"Nearly Two Decades' Peace" perhaps? Just long enough for the ones too young during or born after the current war to develop their powers, get their driving licences, register to vote and start another. It's traditional.

We're leaving it a little late for a survivor of My Lai to be the next Magneto, but if they can drag the Holocaust survivor out for another few years we can have some kid from Fallujah or Aleppo trying not to lose the only family he or she still has.

Break-up of Yugoslavia, collapse of the Soviet Union, Gulf War 1 - maybe nothing on the scale of the Holocaust, but plenty of bush wars 20-30 years ago that leave the victims just as senselessly dead.

[pkcommando]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

Any child could tell you this.

Infinity +1

[pseudoidiot]

Amateur.

Infinity times Infinity

[Pfhorrest]

Aleph One War.

[Sableagle]

What the heck you do title a sequel to "Infinity War"?

"Nearly Two Decades' Peace" perhaps? Just long enough for the ones too young during or born after the current war to develop their powers, get their driving licences, register to vote and start another. It's traditional.

We're leaving it a little late for a survivor of My Lai to be the next Magneto, but if they can drag the Holocaust survivor out for another few years we can have some kid from Fallujah or Aleppo trying not to lose the only family he or she still has.

Break-up of Yugoslavia, collapse of the Soviet Union, Gulf War 1 - maybe nothing on the scale of the Holocaust, but plenty of bush wars 20-30 years ago that leave the victims just as senselessly dead.

{Trigger Warning: Yugo-fuckin'-slavia}

This boy could be a candidate, or this young lady, but I'm told by Serbs born since 1993 that none of those things happened and the way it was shown in our media at the time was lies influenced by bias ..... I wish they'd tell an old friend of mine instead of telling me. Maybe he'd sleep better at night knowing he never really saw any of that happen.

Yeah, Yugoslavia's a possible source for a Next Magneto right now.

{Trigger Warning: West Bloody Africa}

They could also find a survivor of this mess to be the next Magneto, but I'd be very wary of casting a West African refugee as the anti-hero / sympathetic villain / fallen angel / redeemable demon of any film. I've nothing against doing so, but there are millions of people who'd judge the decision based on things other than how well that back-story fits the character and how well-acted the part in the film actually is, and some of those people own rifles and/or newspapers.

I wonder how many times they could have a new Magneto before anybody started calling the new one Buffy.

Do the X-Men and Avengers Universes even overlap? We may be off-topic here.

* "Bloody" in the "Bloody bandages" sense. Seems to be one of those regions where humans make a nasty mess of humans. You know, those, what's the word? Landmasses!

[SecondTalon]

Do the X-Men and Avengers Universes even overlap? We may be off-topic here.

Comics yes. Movies no(t yet. Depends on how purchase happy Disney gets)

[rmsgrey]

Do the X-Men and Avengers Universes even overlap? We may be off-topic here.

Comics yes. Movies no(t yet. Depends on how purchase happy Disney gets)

To be fair, aside possibly from Spiderman or the Hulk, most non-mutants don't really fit in the X-Men universe, and most mutants don't fit comfortably into the main Marvel universe.

Mutants are all about "people who look like us but are different are scary/evil/monsters", while mainstream Marvel is all about "people with powers are cool (unless they use them for evil)".

In the X-Men universe, the Fantastic Four would face immediate suspicion and persecution (and not just the Thing having trouble for comedic effect).

That's not to say the two can't coexist, but the underlying assumptions don't work very well together.

[SecondTalon]

Sure they do.

The Xmen are a metaphor for marginalized groups.

Having a world where Cyclops is bad but Captain America is good allows you to draw parallels between "Acceptable" members of the marginalized groups and unacceptable ones, or the arbitrary nature of what makes one a member of a marginalized group and what doesn't, both very real-world phenomena

I mean, using your example, the FF *have* been distinguished from Muties. There are lots of people in the comics who argue that because they got their abilities long in to adulthood due to scientific accident and not a marker of their tainted genetic status, it's completely different and incomparable.

[Zohar]

And, of course, there's a ton of crossover stories between X-Men and the rest of the Marvel universe. Wolverine, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are/were all Avengers (to name a few), Kitty Pryde and Spider-Man dated for a while in the Ultimate Universe, and they were both friends with Johnny Storm, etc.

[rmsgrey]

I'm not saying it hasn't been done well sometimes, but...

Put it this way: some teenager suddenly catches fire and starts flying under their own power. In an XMen comic, a hysterical mob starts forming up; in a non-XMen comic, a cheering mob does...

The underlying assumptions are different.

[Zohar]

It's because there are ~reasons~ why people get this way if they're not mutants. Johnny Storm didn't just spontaneously catch fire - he went into space and got exposed to cosmic rays, and he's not the only one who was similarly affected. There was definitely An Event that happened here, not just something that could happen to anyone - even my kid!

Spider-Man is a bit like what you get if you're an X-Men but without the social phenomenon and community you can feel a part of - a lot of people irrationally hate you, but at least when you're a mutant you can look up to the X-Men and know you're not alone.

[SecondTalon]

I'm not saying it hasn't been done well sometimes, but...

Put it this way: some teenager suddenly catches fire and starts flying under their own power. In an XMen comic, a hysterical mob starts forming up; in a non-XMen comic, a cheering mob does...

The underlying assumptions are different.

Uh, yeah. We went over this.

Having a world where Cyclops is bad but Captain America is good allows you to draw parallels between "Acceptable" members of the marginalized groups and unacceptable ones, or the arbitrary nature of what makes one a member of a marginalized group and what doesn't, both very real-world phenomena

Yes, ultimately Avengers stories are about punching the Bad Thing until it's not a problem and Xmen stories are about *not* punching certain Bad Things but punching other Bad Things and the problem being resolved mostly, except the certain Bad Things are still around and still hate them.

.... which Avengers got all over with Hulk, Witch, and Captain America, Trrrst stories in the films.

They're pretty much the same sort of stories, only Xmen stories have some social awareness baked in. That's about it.

It's a much smaller difference than Superman and Batman stories.