Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. That was aaaaaaaaaaawful. The choice was between Chaos Theory and 10,000 BC and he had the money and I thought it would be all right, aside from being ridiculous, but it wasn't. It really wasn't. Not even the soundtrack redeemed it, which can occasionally happened with movies. Some shots looked blatantly stolen from the Lord of the Rings, like, "Hey, listen, we're running a little short, can we borrow some of those sweeping vista views, man?" like a neighbor asking for sugar or something.
I don't know. I just. That was two hours wasted of my precious life when I could have been doing something, anything, more productive. Eating my shoelaces, for example. Or wrestling a bear. I mean, what the shit.
I am a fairly harsh movie critic, but this was worse than normal to the point where EVERYONE can appreciate how bad it is, and I think it may have given me heart problems. And the worst part is when I think about how much money was spent on this and how mainstream it is when there's perfectly good indie films made for much less than no one appreciates.
Blech. I think the film is summed up in my observations of people around me at the theater. A fat guy behind me had one hand in his popcorn and was snoring loudly. Two girls left a third of the way through. I should have done either of these things in order to be content with this movie.
Who I am
. [Apparently this isn't obvious: I'm a chick, a bird, a female of your species.]