0237: "Keyboards are Disgusting"

[kertrats]

alt:Alternate method: convince them to pretend it's an Etch-a-Sketch and try to erase it

I generally eat slightly away from the keyboard, keeps crumbs on the desk where they can easily be cleaned.

edit: also invest in:


http://xkcd.com/c237.html

[Zip]

How many times have I spilled a bowl of soup on my keyboard? Three.

[Gordon]

Within the span of a week I spilt water on one keyboard ruining it, then spilt beer on the next! Thankfully the second one was spill resistant so other than making it sticky until I cleaned it no harm was done.

[warriorness]

Mine is one of those oldish ones that make clicking noises when you push a button (not as loud as some keyboards though). It's also one of those ergonomical twisted ones which most people seem to hate but I don't mind.

It's ridiculously dirty underneath the keys. Holding it up to the light, I see hair everywhere, dirt, and crumbs. I can't fathom what else lurks beneath the keys.

[MHZmaster]

I once heard that an average keyboard is home to more bacteria than a toilet seat. I'm not sure if that's true, but it makes sense and it's quite a disturbing comparison.

[Peshmerga]

My keyboard was once so bad, I unplugged every key and swiped all the grime out. It was really bad; hair, finger nails, food, coke spills, bugs and even the remains of a small cockroach could be found.

[OmenPigeon]

A friend of mine once spilled a bottle of 151 on his laptop. It kept working, but reeked quite strongly of alcohol, to the point where he didn't want to take it to the campus' help desk for repairs. (This was freshman year, we weren't supposed to be drinking in our rooms.) Over the next few days, as the rum dried, he became used to typing on his incredibly sticky keyboard. Two and a half years later he still hasn't gotten it fixed, even though it takes about three times normal pressure to work half the keys. I guess an hour's work and some wet napkins are too high a price to pay for being able to type like a normal human.

[Patashu]

I hold true to the proverb 'What happens in Keyboard stays in Keyboard' in times like this.

[Myself]

Laptop keyboards don't get so bad. I think it's because the machines are stood on end much more often, and the keyboard crud can shake itself out. Of course, this means that inverting your laptop bag over your face is equally inadvisable.

It's all a moot point if your laptop has a washable keyboard, of course.. (:

[EvanED]

I spilled a small amount of water into my wireless keyboard when it was about a month old. It stopped working (or so I thought). A few months later, I tried to get it working again. Only I plugged the receiver into the PS/2 port instead of USB -- and it worked. For some reason, it only worked with PS/2, even though the receiver was entirely and physically separate from the keyboard, and wasn't hit by the water.

Never figured that one out.

[SNAFU]

I had to take off all of the keys on my laptop and rearrange them because I switched to the Dvorak layout (do it now!). Unfortunately, I broke four of the plastic clip thingies so now I have four exposed silicon nipples that I have to press.

These keyboard "wounds" are now debris magnets and I can actually see the filth crawling beneath my fingers. It's quite disturbing.

[grark]

hmm, I've been wanting to try out the Dvorak layout, but have never seen a Dvorak keyboard at the local Office Depot or whatever, and I never considered rearranging my keys, though I'm too lazy to do that anyways.

Did your typing speed increase by a lot?

[EvanED]

hmm, I've been wanting to try out the Dvorak layout, but have never seen a Dvorak keyboard at the local Office Depot or whatever, and I never considered rearranging my keys, though I'm too lazy to do that anyways.

Did your typing speed increase by a lot?

This topic has come up at least once; see this thread (also the "I'm so nerdy that I..." thread). I didn't go back through and look now, and actually I don't think I read it all that closely at the time, but I think the consensus when this topic comes up is usually that the additional comfort is more a factor for people preferring it than the additional speed.

(My story is that I used to do what I call an advanced hunt-and-peck way of typing, on QWERTY. I didn't use the right fingers at all, almost always using my index and middle fingers to press keys, and while I tended to know where they were, I couldn't effectively type without being able to see the keys. At about the same time, I started to have wrist problems and decided I should probably learn to touch type anyway, so I switched to Dvorak then with the aid of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 5. (The newer ones are QWERTY-only.) You'll need a couple weeks during which you don't use QWERTY and can stand to not type very fast. I did it over summer vacation when I was slacking off and didn't get a job. :-p Also, it's not strictly necessary to get a dvorak keyboard IMO: I got a sharpie and wrote on the keys. After a month or so, I stopped needing them, and I just use an unmodified QWERTY keyboard now. I went from probably 40 WPM to well over 70 if I'm just transcribing and I'm alert and not tired and such, though it's essentially impossible to say how much is due to Dvorak and how much is due to me actually being able to touch type.)

[Sinisterff]

I wonder if this Optical illusion works on laptops

**Tries it and get hit with the screen**

Never mind, i just figure it out lol

Talking seriously, on my desktop you just have to raise 1 key to figure out how dirty it is, you are lucky if you don't find at least one hair and one piece of food, I'm just to lazy to clean up that thing, and i don't even use it that much since i have my lappy *hugs lappy, and turns around to ensure nobody is looking*. Anyway nice trick I'm going to test this out with some friends tomorrow, hehe.

Oh and also, I'm interested in the Dvorak layout, but i'm not sure since sometimes other people use my computer, and i don't know if there's a way of rearranging a laptop's keyboard

[ReptilianSamurai]

I had to take off all of the keys on my laptop and rearrange them because I switched to the Dvorak layout (do it now!). Unfortunately, I broke four of the plastic clip thingies so now I have four exposed silicon nipples that I have to press.

These keyboard "wounds" are now debris magnets and I can actually see the filth crawling beneath my fingers. It's quite disturbing.

Heh... when I switched to Dvorak I just took a sharpy and wrote the new letters on all my laptop keys.

Now I got a new Thinkpad and the keys are black, so I can't do that. But at this point I can touch-type Dvorak. And there is nothing as funny as watching someone familiar only with Qwerty trying to type on it!

I love dvorak - it feels great to type. Very little finger movement - it just makes sense!

[ReptilianSamurai]

hmm, I've been wanting to try out the Dvorak layout, but have never seen a Dvorak keyboard at the local Office Depot or whatever, and I never considered rearranging my keys, though I'm too lazy to do that anyways.

Did your typing speed increase by a lot?

Yeah it's ashame you don't see dvorak keyboards being sold in stores. But all you really need to do is change the keyboard settings in your OS. At first it's tough, since you can't look at the keys (unless you label them - which I did on my laptop's keyboard.)

It's actually easier to learn than you would think. Over time you grow used to it. About two weeks and you're typing nearly as well in dvorak. I'm at the point now (after several months) where I can't even type qwerty anymore - lol.

Try dvzine.org

[muteKi]

I don't even want to know how many ladybug carcasses are under my keys. Ugh.

[beinsane]

Bah, Dvorak. It messes with all my carefully memorized Emacs key combos, so I say nay!

Furthermore I hate Dvorak's columns in PC Magazine, and his musical compositions were highly overrated!

Yes, I know they were three different Dvoraks. It's like the Czech equivalent of "Smith".

[ReptilianSamurai]

hmm, I've been wanting to try out the Dvorak layout, but have never seen a Dvorak keyboard at the local Office Depot or whatever, and I never considered rearranging my keys, though I'm too lazy to do that anyways.

Did your typing speed increase by a lot?

This topic has come up at least once; see this thread (also the "I'm so nerdy that I..." thread). I didn't go back through and look now, and actually I don't think I read it all that closely at the time, but I think the consensus when this topic comes up is usually that the additional comfort is more a factor for people preferring it than the additional speed.

(My story is that I used to do what I call an advanced hunt-and-peck way of typing, on QWERTY. I didn't use the right fingers at all, almost always using my index and middle fingers to press keys, and while I tended to know where they were, I couldn't effectively type without being able to see the keys. At about the same time, I started to have wrist problems and decided I should probably learn to touch type anyway, so I switched to Dvorak then with the aid of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing 5. (The newer ones are QWERTY-only.) You'll need a couple weeks during which you don't use QWERTY and can stand to not type very fast. I did it over summer vacation when I was slacking off and didn't get a job. :-p Also, it's not strictly necessary to get a dvorak keyboard IMO: I got a sharpie and wrote on the keys. After a month or so, I stopped needing them, and I just use an unmodified QWERTY keyboard now. I went from probably 40 WPM to well over 70 if I'm just transcribing and I'm alert and not tired and such, though it's essentially impossible to say how much is due to Dvorak and how much is due to me actually being able to touch type.)

Similar story here... I wasn't a touch-typist in Qwerty and finally trained myself to type correctly with dvorak. Besides - touch typing makes little sense in qwerty (how often do you use the semi-colon... well outside of programming? WTF is it doing on home row?)

[ReptilianSamurai]

The worst has to be lab computers that are used by many people. And never cleaned. YUCK.

I wonder if this Optical illusion works on laptops

**Tries it and get hit with the screen**

Never mind, i just figure it out lol

Talking seriously, on my desktop you just have to raise 1 key to figure out how dirty it is, you are lucky if you don't find at least one hair and one piece of food, I'm just to lazy to clean up that thing, and i don't even use it that much since i have my lappy *hugs lappy, and turns around to ensure nobody is looking*. Anyway nice trick I'm going to test this out with some friends tomorrow, hehe.

Oh and also, I'm interested in the Dvorak layout, but i'm not sure since sometimes other people use my computer, and i don't know if there's a way of rearranging a laptop's keyboard

Well, again, as long as the laptop is grey or white just use a sharpy and write the letters on the lower right corners of the keys. Also there is an easy way to set it to use a key combination to switch between layouts.

Also handy (for those lab computers that won't let you go into control panel settings)... http://clabs.org/dvorak.htm this program! I used it at school and at work where I don't have administrative access, so that I can type comfortably in dvorak.

[Sinisterff]

Well, again, as long as the laptop is grey or white just use a sharpy and write the letters on the lower right corners of the keys.

It's black, so i think i'll just use an image at the screen to see what i'm actually typing, as for the program, if l learn Dovrak I'll carry it on my USB

Also there is an easy way to set it to use a key combination to switch between layouts.

I already set the right Ctrl to change Dvorak-Qwerty, it was pretty easy on my linux computer, thanks for the help.

And... just to stay in topic, i think there are some air compressed cans to remove the dust on the keyboards

[ReptilianSamurai]

as for the program, if l learn Dovrak I'll carry it on my USB

Exactly what I do! Very convenient - I have a switch to Dvorak wherever I go! (Or if it's a Linux lab it's even easier without the need for a program.)

On topic - I used to use unbent paperclips to clean between the keys of keyboards. LOL.

[6453893]

[HaveyouseenhowpinkandblueIam?]


I've ruined three wireless keyboards in a row in the exact same way. Each time, I swivel around in my chair with headphones on, and the headphones push a bowl of cheerios over onto my desk and everything on it. I swear, it's been cheerios every single time.

[Iamjustsopinkandblue!]

[Gelsamel]

I LOVE THOSE CLICKING KEYBOARDS.

It always makes people look when they here this fast paced rhythmic clicking!

[unjovial]

Once, my flatmate (room mate for the yanks) spewed up on his keyboard when he'd been drinking. He spent the next day cleaning it with cotton buds and meth.

Another time some drunk guy left his hat, belt, shoes and pants on our doorstep and we each claimed an item for ourselves.

Yeah.

[Nomic]

I don't even eat near my keyboard but when I turned it over to get a the dirt out, a lot of crumbs and other stuff dropped out. Keyboards are filthy things. They gather a lot of dust between the keys too.

[ReptilianSamurai]

I forgot... another trick to cleaning them out that my Mom came up with - a folded sticky-note. Slide it between the keys and let the sticky part gather dust and other crud.

[cathrl]

Does nobody else know that you can clean keyboards in a dishwasher?

Yes, really. Low setting, on the top shelf, nothing else in the machine, upside-down, no powder. Leave right side up in the sun or an airing cupboard for a few days afterwards to make sure it's really dry. It's absolutely brilliant. I've done it four or five times. If you're feeling really picky, you can take a few keys off afterwards to clear the hair out. The dishwasher seems to remove everything except bits of hair but they mostly end up twisted round just a couple of keys and you can see which ones they are.

OBVIOUS CAVEAT: Do not do this with a laptop.
NOT SURE CAVEAT: Probably not with a wireless one either.

[Cctoide]

I was half expecting him to be watching a screamer - I was, of course, disappointed.

[spm]

I have only once spilled something on my keyboard... and it was milk. The keys were stuck together for the better part of a week.

It's amazing how much crud can accumulate underneath keys. A friend of mine lost his little brother once, and they found him a month later inside the keyboard, having survived by eating cookie crumbs and building a shelter to ward off Evil Keyboard Monsters (Hapsieinen, if anybody here speaks Finnish!) out of stray hairs, fingernail clippings and shards of hardened snot.

[recurve boy]

The Mac keyboards are pretty nice for cleanliness. The keys pop off quite easily. Then just toss 'em in a bucket of soapy water, wash, wait to dry and pop them back on. Remember to take a photo first!

[EvanED]

I LOVE THOSE CLICKING KEYBOARDS.

It always makes people look when they here this fast paced rhythmic clicking!

Erg, I think I'd snap if I had to listen to one of those on a regular basis. I can't get used to noises like that...

[Tractor]

I forgot... another trick to cleaning them out that my Mom came up with - a folded sticky-note. Slide it between the keys and let the sticky part gather dust and other crud.

Ingenious! As of now, I've been occassionally turning my keyboard upside down on my desk and hitting it a few times, or using a paperclip to round up the hairs that mosey their way in. But a sticky note is a great idea.

This is assuming I don't want to take the time to remove the keys of course. Which I don't. I'm lazy.

[Puellus Peregrinus]

I washed my keyboard about a month ago when my Ins key no longer went down... It was filled with some black paste, probably organic origin.

It's amazing how much crud can accumulate underneath keys. A friend of mine lost his little brother once, and they found him a month later inside the keyboard, having survived by eating cookie crumbs and building a shelter to ward off Evil Keyboard Monsters(*)out of stray hairs, fingernail clippings and shards of hardened snot.

(*Hapsiainen, if anybody here speaks Finnish!)

...and is certain of a certain age and watched public TV. And there is NO such person here...

[plams]

I wonder how long it will take to learn vi again if I switch to dvorak.

Anyway, http://home20.inet.tele.dk/plams/keyboard/

[spm]

...and is certain of a certain age and watched public TV. And there is NO such person here...

Of course, I am neither. Hipsis Hapsiainen (thanks for the spelling fix) was shown from 1987-1992 according to the Finnish Wikipedia; I've never lived in Finland (I lived in England around that time), but when I went there for a week or so in 2003 I was shown how to make a Hapsiainen ("finger monster").. and have been a fan ever since.

To make one, simply place thumb, index finger, ring finger and pinky on a table with palm of hand as high up as possible. Extend the middle finger into the air to make a head. Now bend all "leg"-fingers down and let your finger monster jump around a bit, like finger monsters should, and shout "Hapsiainen" over and over at the top of your voice.

As inane as it may sound, it's a wonderful passtime.

[Quake]

There were NEVER such problems with Sir Clive Sinclair's good old ZX81.
I just loved that agenda.
*SHIVERS*.
Turned upside down (ZX81), : nothing would happen except that the 15k ram "extra memory unit" would disconnect itself a little earlier than usual.

[Jwink3101]

I just use canned air every once in a while. The problem is i have a laptop so it spews all the junk onto the screen. To fix this, i often place a piece of paper over the screen to protect it.

[Coruscate]

I clean my keyboard every week, I'm a microbiology student tho so I'm a bit OCD about germs

Thought about switching my keyboard to Dvorak but it'd be more hassle than it's worth, my typing speed's not bad and I use lots of other people's computers so I wouldn't really get a chance to get used to typing in Dvorak layout.

[Ren]

...and is certain of a certain age and watched public TV. And there is NO such person here...

Of course, I am neither. Hipsis Hapsiainen (thanks for the spelling fix) was shown from 1987-1992 according to the Finnish Wikipedia; I've never lived in Finland (I lived in England around that time), but when I went there for a week or so in 2003 I was shown how to make a Hapsiainen ("finger monster").. and have been a fan ever since.

To make one, simply place thumb, index finger, ring finger and pinky on a table with palm of hand as high up as possible. Extend the middle finger into the air to make a head. Now bend all "leg"-fingers down and let your finger monster jump around a bit, like finger monsters should, and shout "Hapsiainen" over and over at the top of your voice.

As inane as it may sound, it's a wonderful passtime.

I definitely just did that (I'm in a school computer lab, so it was minus the yelling bit) and got an inanely happy look on my face, and some strange looks from other people.

*shifty eyes*