Attack and Defend

[Col. Mustard]

It works like this:

You defend against the attack from the poster above you and then you attack the poster below you.


Example:

Attack: *Throws rock at next poster*

Defend: *Holds up garbage can lid to deflect the rock*

Attack: *Throws banana flambe at next poster*

I'll start:

Attack: *Throws a flaming wad of paper at next poster*

[Timequake]

*Defends against flaming wad of paper with a fire extinguisher*

*Throws a fire extinguisher at next poster*

[drconcon]

*Defends with football helmet.

*Throws wrench at next poster.

[Cornelius]

blocks with nut and bolt

summons a volcano and unleashes a pyroclastic flow at NP.

[drconcon]

*Defends by idling my car, causing global warming to freeze the lava.

*Lunges at NP with a fork.

[sckego]

Holds a steak in the way.

Upset that my steak is now impaled upon a fork, I throw my steak knife at NP.

[drconcon]

*Puts the wrist of a rich kid who is desperately looking for attention in the way.

*Pushes NP down stairs.

[Chrismclegless]

*Wears an extremely bouncy suit. Like Mr Blobby.*

*Offers NP some of my cooking*

[Col. Mustard]

I protect myself with some Pepto Bismol®.

Takes away NP's lantern.

[Zohar]

I wait for day.

I hope for meteors to strike the next poster.

[kellsbells]

Your hopes are unfulfilled.

I unleash a deadly rain of paperclips upon the next poster.

[Dobblesworth]

I pull out multiple neodynium magnets and collate all the paperclips out of harms way.


I throw my other neodynium magnets in the general direction of the next poster.

[keozen]

I duck

I throw a Duck at the next poster (and an otter)

[Chrismclegless]

*I persuade the duck to ignore me, and instead attack the NP.*

[keozen]

I have a deep conversation with the duck and convince him to build his own tardis and become a timelord instead.

NP? I Fart in your General direction

[Zohar]

I turn on a fan in the previous poster's direction.

I use Monkey's extending stick to attack the next poster.

[Dobblesworth]

I hold out a cigarette lighter and burn the stick.

I leave a series of nails, point up, along the motorway the next poster is driving along.

[keozen]

God bless my new solid rubber puncture proof tires

I squeeze the next poster's toothpaste FROM THE MIDDLE!!! (Dun Dun Duhhhhhhhh!)

[Dobblesworth]

Ahh good thing this new mecha-organic toothbrush has a breeding centre for toothpaste and transcends the need for external tubes of it.

I bounce my graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish, aiming it in the general direction of the NP

[Col. Mustard]

I divert all power from life support to boost shields.

NP will suffocate with me!!!! (in a few hours)

[Nebuduck]

I convert all the mass of Col. Mustard's body into oxygen. This should sustain me until I fix his meddlesome meddlings!

I smite the next poster, using my godly powers!

[Dobblesworth]

I carry a full Tier Nine-Thousand armour set to battle against Nebuduck, and my Holy Resistance value skyrockets to 13 quadrillion. The Smiting has no effect and I retire from the field of combat.

I activate my remote-control Sherman Tank and drive it ponderously in the general direction of NP, with a view to running him over. Oh, and NP is trapped in a canyon just a tad wider than the tank.

[Chrismclegless]

Using a spring I found on the floor of the canyon, I bounce over the tank, land on the turret, and sit there while it drives out of the canyon.

I then throw said spring at the NP.

[Dobblesworth]

I catch the spring, uncoil it, then hurl the newly uncoiled spring like a twirled javelin in the general direction of NP's nether regions.

[drconcon]

My steel nads deflect said spring towards the NP's eye.

[AvalonXQ]

I watch as time passes and the spring becomes summer, and therefore even more pleasant.

I cast "Power Word, Kill" at the next poster.

[Col. Mustard]

Sorry, I have 101 hp.

I stick NP with a Covenant plasma grenade.

[Meowgan]

My bard sings songs to boost my morale and I deflect the ray with my +5 shield of freaking awesome.

I jump on NP's head, Sonic Style.

[Meowgan]

My bard sings songs to boost my morale and I deflect the ray with my +5 shield of freaking awesome.

I jump on NP's head, Sonic Style.

[Aramis]

Meowgan bounces off the trampoline hat I'm wearing.

I take off my hat, bounce off it and performs a Liu Kang Flying Kick on the NP.

[Godeler]

I teleport behind Aramis, and then throw an ice ball at the NP.

[podbaydoor]

HADOUKEN!

I overload the next poster's sanity with an unending barrage of pointless viral videos.

[helios]

blocks with Microsoft Windows Firewall

Attacks the next poster with continuous email spamming

[Zohar]

I'm on Gmail, no spam for me! (seriously, no spam has ever gone through my filter!)

I unleash a hoard of five-year-olds at the NP.

[Ansain]

I defend with a flame thrower and attack the next poster with a hoard of children on fire.

[Meowgan]

Luckily I'm wearing my asbestos underwear.

Meowgan uses confusion on NP. NP is confused, it hurts itself in its confusion.

[Dobblesworth]

It's not very effective...
Dobblesworth snapped itself out of confusion!

Dobblesworth used Hyper Beam on NP

[AlphaSquirrel]

Defend: *Cancels it out with a Lazy Beam*

Attack *Uses same Lazy Beam on NP*

[drconcon]

*Cancels it out with hyper beam.

*Uses same hyper beam on NP

...Someone didn't think something through here.

[Dobblesworth]

I rotate my beam energy absorption panels to face the oncoming Hyper Beam. I use this energy to power my gene-labs and clone an army of super-soldiers to attack NP.