xkcd

by **Akula** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:31 am UTC

Duke Nukem Forever was announced.

A list of the things that have happened since:
http://duke.a-13.net/

A couple of my favorites:
All of the Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars prequel films.
The entire Harry Potter book series, plus several films (might just get through the whole film series too...)
Every episode of South Park, Family Guy, and most of King of the Hill.
Every episode of Survivor, and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Two Mars Rovers were proposed, built, launched, and landed on Mars.
The USS Ronald Reagan, the largest warship in the world, was proposed, contracted, built, launched, commissioned, and entered into active duty.
22 Baseball and Football teams have built new stadiums. 2 more will be completed within the year.
The Red Sox and White Sox both snapped 86-year championship droughts.
The MLB single season home run record was broken... twice.
The MLB all time home run record was broken
The NFL all time rushing and passing records were broken, as were numerous season and game records.
Lance Armstrong's 7 straight Tour de France victories.
19 wars have begun.
5 wars have ended.
4 nations have acquired nuclear weapons technology.

by **Irrefutable** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:22 am UTC

but there was a new trailer (http://youtube.com/watch?v=cWuteFLUPSY ) so prehaps theyve been doing something more than twidling their thumbs.

by **fenrir_darkwolf** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:34 pm UTC

lol, apparently DNF has taken longer to develop than than the general theory of relativity, hope it lives up to the hype

.

by **Dobblesworth** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:44 pm UTC

As well as the bold format on entries like Team Fortress 2, I particularly liked entries such as:

# The concept of Bullet Time has been developed, pioneered, and completely run in to the ground.

It is an interesting piece of gaming lore, this DNF thing. Back in the day I think it may have been a term I heard floating around, maybe hearing it as one of those arcade shoot-em-up's, and going about thinking it did in fact get released. Though I have to give credit to the development team. In the 7 years between two trailers visible on that article, neither the logo for the company or the game itself changed by a smidgeon! Though if it's developed that cult following of expectation, to change something as integral as the project logo would be sacrilege.

IF Duke Nukem Forever DOES turn up, it will either,
A) Sell ****loads of copies as people rush to buy something 11 years in the making, that eventually latched on to a world-breaking concept and obtained rave reviews, or
B) Be a complete flop. Even if it is marginally respectable, no-one would want to risk purchase.

by **SecondTalon** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:50 pm UTC

It won't. It doesn't matter if DNF is the most perfect game ever, and if it comes with free cookies and blowjobs, and they actually pay you to play the game, and every time you kill an enemy kittens shoot out of your monitor. Nothing will be able to make up for the lengthy development.

Look at it this way.. the people who were alive but likely have never played the first Duke Nukem 3D are in the 16-21 range. They would have been 5-12 at the time of announcement. Beyond that are a host of people who, while alive and of an age where they could have played it, likely did not, as the computer gaming market has expanded quite a bit since then.

Point being, anyone who actually gives a shit about said game series... no longer really gives a shit about the game series, as it's been far too long.

You want a one-liner spouting hero? We've got Serious Sam. You want aliens invading earth and to go up and kick their asses? We've got Prey (an equally vaporware-y title that finally released). You want crass humor? We've got Postal 2. The only place they really have to go is an epic story... and Half Life's got that one nailed.

Hell, even the jump from the pseudo-3D days to true 3D with Polygons'n'shit has been done by Doom.

Because of the lengthy cycle, the series it would have been compared to have expanded and grown.. there's now the Quake series, the Half-Life series, the Unreal series... It will be compared to so many different games, and it will either be found guilty of mimicking one too closely, or or falling short of the bar set by whatever. Hell, with the cash spent on it, there's no way it'll make the money back. It's the computer game's version of Waterworld, except that actually came out.

But then, at this point, they really have no choice but to press on. Me, I'd keep it vaporware forever. Nothing will come close to the hype.

tl:dr - It's been in development too long, it will likely be a critical failure due to expectations, and a commercial failure due to lack of familiarity and competition.

by **Dobblesworth** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:01 pm UTC

Agreed. On drafting of my initial post, I was leaning towards the Option B category. From viewing that trailer from 2001, it did look somewhat generic and 'omni'. The scenes it cut together looked far too random for there to be any semblance of a storyline. Like you said, the genres it can tap into have been mastered by Doom, Half-Life, Serious Sam, Quake, Unreal, and won't be seen as groundbreaking in any way.

I'm suddenly hit by a revelation:
Duke Nukem Forever is the gaming world's sibling to a 25-month overdue (and counting) history essay of mine on the Nazi Regime and Consolidation of Power 1933-39 (I'm not even sure if that was the right title any more...)

by **Qoppa** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:17 am UTC

It's taken more time than Spore.

Shit.

by **SecondTalon** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:29 am UTC

The only game I can think of that's taken longer is Nethack... but that at least has playable versions and.. frankly, I don't think Nethack will ever have a "done" version.

by **akashra** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:56 am UTC

Qoppa wrote:It's taken more time than Spore.

Shit.

Oh come now, Spore hasn't taken THAT long to develop.

Off the top of my head, SNES Zelda (Link to the Past) took 4 years to develop, Donkey Kong Country was 3 1/2, Metroid Prime took 5. Spore has only been 4 years hasn't it?

What's most surprising to me is that the project hasn't been canned. Hell, look at the number of Wing Commander games which have been canned between when DNF was announced and now. (Answer: four)

by **Amnesiasoft** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:46 am UTC

akashra wrote:Spore has only been 4 years hasn't it?

Wikipedia wrote:Spore's development began in 2000

by **Jessica** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:46 pm UTC

Spore wasn't announced in 2000, it was annouced in 2005 I believe? Maybe 2004, but I'm pretty sure it's 2005 when it was first introduced to the world.

Yes, it had a lot of hidden development, but it hasn't been hyped all that time. Unlike say DNF.

by **phlip** » Thu May 07, 2009 3:16 pm UTC

As anyone who reads Dinosaur Comics is aware (that's how I found out, anyway), 3D Realms has collapsed, taking Duke Nukem Forever with it.

[breakingnews] It now looks like DNF may, in fact, not actually get finished. [/breakingnews]

I'm sad, but hands up anyone who's surprised...

by **pseudoidiot** » Thu May 07, 2009 4:29 pm UTC

IT'LL NEVER BE OVER!

by **headprogrammingczar** » Thu May 07, 2009 4:58 pm UTC

Finally.

by **Indon** » Thu May 07, 2009 6:05 pm UTC

The Article wrote:"In addition, Take-Two continues to retain the publishing rights to Duke Nukem Forever," he added.

Take-Two might revive the project and authorize someone else to make it!

(Duke Nukem Never)

by **SoapyHobo** » Thu May 07, 2009 6:31 pm UTC

I'm pretty disappointed, I was looking forward to what they'd make of a game twelve years in development. I don't find it very surprising though, considering they hadn't released any other game in that time. I'm amazed they managed to last this long, to be honest.

2K Games still have publishing rights to DNF though, I think.

by **SecondTalon** » Thu May 07, 2009 9:18 pm UTC

Eh, they published/produced a decent list, but.. didn't develop shit, so.. yeah.

And apparently DNF was always vaporware. I don't know if it's revisionism, though.

by **aion7** » Thu May 07, 2009 10:55 pm UTC

Always bet on Duke.

This actually raises the chances DNF will be released, as I see it.

by **Æshættr** » Fri May 08, 2009 12:17 am UTC

There's an interesting website that details some of the major events that have happened during the development of DNF. It also lists some pretty major things that took less time (World War II, for example.) The list can be seen here.

It's kind of sad to see it go. Hopefully the project will be given to another development house.

by **zombiefeynman** » Fri May 08, 2009 2:12 pm UTC

aion7 wrote:Always bet on Duke.

This actually raises the chances DNF will be released, as I see it.

Yeah. I'm currently looking at: current codebase accidentally leaked, developed independently (with changes to prevent copyright infringement - even though the code might be illegal) under an independent franchise, then snapped back up by 2K once it actually gets to a viable stage with the 'we won't sue you, we'll just buy you' line.

by **Dobblesworth** » Fri May 08, 2009 2:36 pm UTC

Looking at that Duke Nukem Forever list, it amazes me that 10 DN games across various platforms were released during DNF's development period, and no-one thought to label any of them the 'Forever' version to try and lay it to rest. What I'm hoping for would be something along the lines of DNF rights are publicly released, so a bunch of independent modders can produce something fitting for the series with the Valve Source engine. Maybe their working material put out as well so such devs could get a feel for what they were working on and extrapolate something out of it.

by **Mat** » Fri May 08, 2009 2:43 pm UTC

What a let down

btw Randall posted a response to that list on the blag: http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/05/07/duke-nukem-forever/

So, I present to you: a list of things that happened since the List of Things That Have Happened Since Duke Nukem Forever Was Announced was written.

* Barack Obama announced his candidacy, slogged through the longest Presidential campaign in American history, and was elected.
* Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans and wiped out much of the Gulf Coast.
* Ehud Olmert came to power in Israel, pursued a war against Lebanon, and was succeeded by Netanyahu.
* Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito have had their entire Supreme Court careers since the list was written.
* The world panicked over bird flu, calmed down, panicked over swine flu, and apparently dodged a bullet.
* The iPhone was announced, released, and developed to the point where it could make fart noises.
* Windows Vista was released, sputtered a bit, and is now reaching the end of its life cycle.

Additionally, the List of Things That Took Less Time Than the Duke Nukem Forever Development has been circulating for longer than each of these things took:

* The release of all three Lord of the Rings movies
* The painting of the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel (or, will be true in a few months)
* World War I (nearly; age of list is uncertain)
* The development of Windows 95 from Windows 3.1
* The construction of the Empire State Building
* The entire run of the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers show plus the first movie.
* The premier of Firefly, its cancellation, its growth into a geek classic, and the subsequent greenlighting, filming and release of Serenity.

by **Shadic** » Fri May 08, 2009 3:39 pm UTC

"Deep Silver and Apogee Software are not affected by the situation at 3D Realms. Development on the Duke Nukem Trilogy is continuing as planned."

Article Here.

For what it's worth.

by **BlackMesa** » Fri May 08, 2009 5:32 pm UTC

Æshættr wrote:There's an interesting website that details some of the major events that have happened during the development of DNF. It also lists some pretty major things that took less time (World War II, for example.) The list can be seen here.
...

I wonder if the guy who's receipt was at the top of that link will get his money back.

by **Jahoclave** » Fri May 08, 2009 7:47 pm UTC

BlackMesa wrote:
Æshættr wrote:There's an interesting website that details some of the major events that have happened during the development of DNF. It also lists some pretty major things that took less time (World War II, for example.) The list can be seen here.
...

I wonder if the guy who's receipt was at the top of that link will get his money back.

Yeah, I sure hope he tries.

by **Shadowpawn** » Fri May 22, 2009 2:07 pm UTC

Duke Nukem Forever can not be stopped

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRFS-WFlT0Q

HE HAS TRANSCENDED TIME AND SPACE ITSELF.

by **MuToiD_MaN** » Fri May 22, 2009 9:42 pm UTC

The title of that Youtube video is in Esperanto...

by **BigBoss** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:22 pm UTC

Apparantly, there is a playable demo of it at PAX.

http://g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/70731 ... tware.html

by **Demented Teddy** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:52 pm UTC

I never had an interest in the game but considering that people have been waiting about a decade for it to be released it had better be one hell of a game.

by **psion** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:41 pm UTC

It doesn't really mean anything since 3D Realms dropped it. It might still be good, but it's mainly a cash-in on the joke that it has become.

by **frezik** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:02 pm UTC

It could be just fine. 3DRelems clearly had internal project management issues, but they must have gotten something done during all that time. Taking whatever content is there and giving it to a new team could work out.

by **Sir_Elderberry** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:46 pm UTC

If this game doesn't give out a free blowjob in every box, it will fall short of the hype/meme.

by **Box Boy** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:50 pm UTC

....it has F*****G health regen and a two weapon limit.

2K is DEAD to me!

by **Midnight** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:14 pm UTC

Sir_Elderberry wrote:If this game doesn't give out a free blowjob in every box, it will fall short of the hype/meme.

That's some replay value right there.

by **Felstaff** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:30 pm UTC

Three days ago, I had a bit of a vapourware binge and looked through all the old titles that would never see the light of day; Black Mesa Source, Duke Nukem Forever, FFVII PS3, and a couple others. I read the entire DNF Wiki page and thought, very nearly out loud, oh well, they've finally put this one to bed, and it'll never see the light of day. And now it's being resurrected?

I better go and nearly-verbally lament on all the others, now! First stop, infinium labs. LOOKS LIKE YOUR SHITTY COMPANY WILL NEVER MAKE ANYTHING BETTER THAN A LAPBOARD, HUH.

by **Jackpot** » Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

ALWAYS BET ON DUKE.

by **Box Boy** » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:44 pm UTC

Jackpot wrote:ALWAYS BET ON DUKE.

I WISH I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO, I'D BE A MILLIONAIRE!

by **SlyReaper** » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:49 pm UTC

Oh God they're reviving it. It's going to be some utterly generic FPS which will cause the Internet to implode from the sheer critical mass of nerd rage.

by **Box Boy** » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:58 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Oh God they're reviving it. It's going to be some utterly generic FPS which will cause the Internet to implode from the sheer critical mass of nerd rage.

Box Boy wrote:....it has F*****G health regen and a two weapon limit.

Yup, appears so.

by **SoapyHobo** » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:08 pm UTC

Dude, he's Duke Nukem, he's not gonna be dying every five minutes. Crouch behind a table whilst being shot at by pig-cops and aliens, down a beer and be back in the fight before you can say 'Balls of Steel'.

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