Kicking my butt in shape again

[Flying Betty]

Edit: Redacted. Trying to be a little more positive today.

[Wolf]

Good luck, Betty! Out of curiousity, what kind of things do you enjoy doing? (So we could try to recommend some fun things for you to do).

[lanicita]

Betty, I'm wondering if maybe it would help if you didn't weigh yourself. You mentioned you lost a bunch of weight and then almost made it to your goal weight, and then that you want to lose 50 lbs in a year and 10 in a month and a half. Just to me now, it looks like weight is a big part of your goal. It might help if you had no focus on numbers, just on eating healthy and exercising.

I have a problem with binging too, especially when I'm lonely. If you can bring yourself to get help, by all means do it. I never have, although I still think it's something that could help me and eventually I might if the problem gets bad enough. It's something to consider, definitely.

[Flying Betty]

To be honest, losing weight is a big part of it. I weigh a lot more than is good for me and I can feel it. (I don't particularly want to post numbers, but you'll have to trust that I have a pretty realistic conception of what I do and should weigh). It's more that the way I go about losing is by eating healthy and exercising. I can't starve myself or take sketchy drugs, and I know from experience that if I can get into the healthy mode then the weight will come off. They kind of feed into each other because when I'm being healthy I lose weight and it inspires me to keep going. When I don't weigh myself I don't have a way to keep myself in check and can spiral up without even noticing what's happening to me. And at this point maybe the 10 pounds in a month and a half isn't quite realistic, but from what I've done in the past 50 pounds in a year definitely is. My hurdle now is the loneliness as much as or more than anything else.

[Flying Betty]

OK, I have to get this under control. I want to have knees when I'm 50. I don't want diabetes. I want to feel that I might someday actually be attractive. These are all very real risks for me.

New tactic.

I want one of these. I have the money for it, and there's nothing stopping me from putting in an order right now. So maybe a reward tactic will work.

Things I need to do: Not eat candy at work, eat a real dinner, and exercise

If I get $5 towards my EEE PC each time I do one of those, if I do them all regularly I get to have one in a month or so, plus probably being down 5+ pounds and back in the healthy weight loss habit. Somehow I can eat absolutely terribly when I'm gaining weight (emotional eating FTL!) but when I decide to lose weight I cannot make myself do it in an unhealthy way. Not that that's bad or anything.

[lesliesage]

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[Flying Betty]

Day 2 and going strung! I better make it since I just fucked up my laptop and the keyboard will never be the same again so it wont be very portable once I fnd my USB one so I need that EEE PC.

[Flying Betty]

Week 1 has been a success! I'm down 3 pounds (black magic, I know) and have given myself 18/21 points (1 exercise and 2 food per day, roughly quality and quantity but I am the judge and get to be subjective) and have $90 towards my EEE PC

[lesliesage]

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[Flying Betty]

So the evil binge monster that's been beating me up for the past 8-9 months seems to have disappeared. I have no idea where it went, but it's such a relief to have the thing gone!

11 days so far, and I've stuck to my calorie limit, ate mostly healthy foods, and exercised almost every day.

I don't know if I want to try to get my calories a little bit lower, or not risk fucking up my fairly delicate eating/emotion balance. My aim is 1200-1500 calories, and I've been going strong at ~1500 for the past week and a half. 1500 is no problem; I really don't require a lot of food. If I'm down at 12-1300 calories I really have to watch the quality of what I eat or else I'm just starrrrrving by the end of the night.

[ikno1can]

If I was you, I would stick to the 1500 calorie allowance for now, as long as you are still loosing weight. That way, a few months down the road, if your body starts to adapt and the weight loss slows down (which seems to happen to most people) and you find that you aren't loosing anything for a couple of weeks, then you can drop another 100 calories, and will continue to lose weight. If you drop it to 1200/1300 now, firstly you'll probably be really hungry, and secondly you won't be able to go any lower if you need to.

Keep going, slow and steady wins the race in the long run! Good luck x.

[Flying Betty]

New development. I've just started taking happy pills. I'm hoping that it will drag me out of the massive funk I've been in and that I'll be able to start taking decent care of myself again.