Think Before Naming Your Child

[Hefty One]

This one's an urban legend, so take it with a grain of salt, but I once heard of a couple who allegedly gave their son the middle name "Konsento" thinking it sounded cool. What they didn't know was that it's the Japanese word for "electric outlet".

Then, of course, there's the infamous urban legend about a child named Shi'Thead, and a couple examples from Freakonomics:

Amcher - named for the Albany Medical Center Hospital Emergency Room
Temptress - her parents misspelled "Tempestt" (as in actress Tempestt Bledsoe)
Loser - 'nuff said.

Edit: This reminds me, I have to remember in the future to give my kids the middle name '); DROP TABLE Students;--

Mustn't forget Lemonjello (luh-mon-juh-lo), Orangejello (or-ongh-juh-lo), and As'shole (uh-sho-lee)

[Monika]

Of course there's a "k" in Richard!*

_{*in German}

Definitiv nicht, mein junger Freund.

In English, you say Richard kind of like Ritchard. Now try to pronounce it without that unwritten t. And the d in the end has to be hard and unvoiced = t. Then you have the German pronounciation.

They don't even have to explain to her why "Jez" is a bad idea.

Why *is* calling her "Jez" a bad idea?

Tyler Knoll (say it out loud, emphasis on Ty)

I have said it out loud a couple of times and still can't figure it out.

My Latin professor declared that if any of his students were to name one of their children after a literary term/device, he would personally pay that kid's college tuition.
...So, If I have a daughter, Tmesis, Metonymy or Tema. If I have a son, Catalexis, Chiasmus or Kenning.

Metapher wouldn't be so bad. And Meta is a real girl's name.

My English teacher swore he once had a student named Teresa Green.

What's wrong with "Teresa Green"?

[GhostWolfe]

Why *is* calling her "Jez" a bad idea?

Example: Urban Dictionary

Tyler Knoll (say it out loud, emphasis on Ty)

I have said it out loud a couple of times and still can't figure it out.

Tylenol

My English teacher swore he once had a student named Teresa Green.

What's wrong with "Teresa Green"?

"trees are green"

/angell

[steewi]

My English teacher swore he once had a student named Teresa Green.

What's wrong with "Teresa Green"?

"trees are green"

It probably beats the logical ickyness of Theresa White, etc. Sure, some trees are kind of white, but it still irks.

[Bobber]

My English teacher swore he once had a student named Teresa Green.

What's wrong with "Teresa Green"?

"trees are green"

It probably beats the logical ickyness of Theresa White, etc. Sure, some trees are kind of white, but it still irks.

Am I the only one who pronounces "Theresa" as "Theresa" and not "Thresa"?

Why *is* calling her "Jez" a bad idea?

If you didn't get it yet, and didn't bother to look it up on urban dictionary:

A Jez is a female who behaves loosely/slutty/sleeps around/enjoys sex flagrantly

[phlip]

Am I the only one who pronounces "Theresa" as "Theresa" and not "Thresa"?

And since when was a pun hampered by something as irrelevant as how a word is actually pronounced?

Why *is* calling her "Jez" a bad idea?

If you didn't get it yet, and didn't bother to look it up on urban dictionary:

A Jez is a female who behaves loosely/slutty/sleeps around/enjoys sex flagrantly

Looking on Urban Dictionary, all you get is a handful of completely different and random definitions... none of which have a particularly high thumbs up/down ratio... which sets of warning bells for me, suggesting it's one of the many many terms on that site that were completely made up by the people who post there, and aren't actually in common use. I know I've never heard the term, with any of the suggested meanings, or indeed as anything other than a name.

Plugging it into Google finds large number of people... the first 100 results are lots of people's names, a few company names, I think one or two band names, and two domain squatters at jez.com and jez.net. Nothing slang-related.

You'll have to cite something more credible than UD to convince me that this term actually exists and is used (and, being the operative part of the discussion, that the classmates of a hypothetical child named Jez would've heard of it).

[Darryl]

Am I the only one who pronounces "Theresa" as "Theresa" and not "Thresa"?

And since when was a pun hampered by something as irrelevant as how a word is actually pronounced?

Why *is* calling her "Jez" a bad idea?

If you didn't get it yet, and didn't bother to look it up on urban dictionary:

A Jez is a female who behaves loosely/slutty/sleeps around/enjoys sex flagrantly

Looking on Urban Dictionary, all you get is a handful of completely different and random definitions... none of which have a particularly high thumbs up/down ratio... which sets of warning bells for me, suggesting it's one of the many many terms on that site that were completely made up by the people who post there, and aren't actually in common use. I know I've never heard the term, with any of the suggested meanings, or indeed as anything other than a name.

Plugging it into Google finds large number of people... the first 100 results are lots of people's names, a few company names, I think one or two band names, and two domain squatters at jez.com and jez.net. Nothing slang-related.

You'll have to cite something more credible than UD to convince me that this term actually exists and is used (and, being the operative part of the discussion, that the classmates of a hypothetical child named Jez would've heard of it).

It's a shortening of Jezebel, which is a horrible name to give a child for reasons already mentioned.

[phlip]

It's a shortening of Jezebel, which is a horrible name to give a child for reasons already mentioned.

Sure, I'm not disputing that, Jezebel is a rather crummy name for anyone who knows its history.

But the claim was that abbreviating it to "Jez" as a nickname was, in and of itself, also a bad idea... and I just don't see that at all.

[Moo]

Clearly it is common in those people's immediate culture or they wouldn't take it as read. That is what I assumed.

[Madame Sourire]

Are these names really stupid?
Boys:
Chase
Trent
Christian

Girls:
Madison
Darcey Rose
Lindy
Marianne

[22/7]

Are these names really stupid?
Boys:
Chase
Trent
Christian

No?

Girls:
Madison
Darcey Rose
Lindy
Marianne

Not a big fan of Lindy. Maybe Linda, shortened to Lindy?

[Benfrenchman]

Chase and Trent are slightly weird. The others are all nice. Except maybe Lindy. Linde would be better perhaps.

[BrainMagMo]

Tyler Knoll (say it out loud, emphasis on Ty)

I have said it out loud a couple of times and still can't figure it out.

Tylenol

My English teacher swore he once had a student named Teresa Green.

What's wrong with "Teresa Green"?

"trees are green"

/angell

Obviously, the problem here is that 22/7 speaks like an Englishperson, while jobriath and I speak like Americans.
Tyler Knoll = /taɪlɹ nɔːl/ for us, /taɪlə nɔːl/
Teresa = /tɝɛsə/ US /???/ UK
Trees are = /tʃɹis ɑɹ/US /t(ʃ)ɹiːs ɑː/

[GhostWolfe]

"trees are green"

Originally I wrote "t(eh)rees a[re] green", because I sure as hell don't pronounce Theresa without the first e, nor do I add an arbitrary r sound to the end; but it's just easier to spell out the joke than mess around with that shit.

/angell

[lanicita]

Are these names really stupid?
Boys:
Chase
Trent
Christian

Girls:
Madison
Darcey Rose
Lindy
Marianne

Right now, Madison is the symbolic name that all the cool rich moms want to give their Baby Einstein trilingual-at-birth kids. It's been consistently in the top 10 for a while, and you can expect a LOT of famous Madisons in a couple decades, and chances are at least one will be the new Lindsay Lohan. Not pleasant. Same with Chase, but for boys. Christian... I wouldn't disregard the whole bible-affiliation genre, but I don't like the idea of naming a kid after a religious affiliation. Trent is pretty good and down-to-earth. Darcey Rose is just not a combination I like very much, it sounds SO girly and if the kid isn't a girly-girl it would be a problem. Lindy is cute but maybe too childish for a kid once they've grown up. And Marianne is pretty but very old-fashioned.

It sucks that we have to name kids when they're born. It would be so much nicer to name them based on what they seem like later on. I'm a big fan of middle names because they don't have to adhere to rules so well. I love the name Grace, but I'd only use it for a middle because it's so old-fashioned I feel like my kid would hate me otherwise. I love Olivia, my own middle name, but it's also been one of the top 10 for a while and I don't want my kid to be one of 5 Olivias in her class. I also love Isabella, which was my grandmother's middle name, but my sister already has dibs. Plus I need to figure out something to go with my boy's last name, and I'm not sure how easy that will be.

[studyinserendipity]

A high school friend & I talked about naming a boy "Steve" and insisting it be pronounced /tim/.

[22/7]

Obviously, the problem here is that 22/7 speaks like an Englishperson, while jobriath and I speak like Americans.
Tyler Knoll = /taɪlɹ nɔːl/ for us, /taɪlə nɔːl/
Teresa = /tɝɛsə/ US /???/ UK
Trees are = /tʃɹis ɑɹ/US /t(ʃ)ɹiːs ɑː/

Actually, I speak like the Americans on TV (I'm from the Midwest).

[Beacons!]

There's someone that lives in my region called "England 5 Germany 1".
I have absolutely no idea what people call them casually. Five maybe?

[thecommabandit]

Are these names really stupid?
Boys:
Chase
Trent
Christian

Girls:
Madison
Darcey Rose
Lindy
Marianne

Chase is a bit weird. Never liked the name Christian, but Trent is a good name.

Madison is nice, Darcey Rose sounds a pit pretentious, Lindy a bit old-fashioned (but still nice) and Marianne is good.

[Pit]

My friend has 2 friends (whom I've met), who are twins (to each other). It's a boy and a girl, and their names are "Male" and "Female" (Ma-lee and Feh-Ma-Lee). The mother, in whatever she was on, thought it was ever so kind that the hospital named her children so that she wouldn't have to.

---

I've always liked the names Lenneth and Lilly, but I don't think my daughter would appreciate those names for whatever reason.

*edit* Future daughter. If ever I have one. I KNOW my son would not appreciate those names.

[Number3Pencils]

A high school friend & I talked about naming a boy "Steve" and insisting it be pronounced /tim/.

"Team"?

[ocarina_21]

I remember a discussion years ago about adding silent letters to names just to be frustrating. For example, Gjonathanq, pronounced "Jonathan". Some people wouldn't agree with my choices for naming children. Male twins would be Mario and Luigi, Male and Female Twins would be Luke and Leia. A son would be Leo, short for Leonidas, or Nick, short for Phoenix; a daughter would be Heidi -short for Ironhide- or Aerith, or Lyra.

[Monika]

"Christian" is one of the most popular boy names in Germany, among non-Christians, too.

[markfiend]

I'd have 'Telemachus' for a boy if it wasn't for the fact that my surname is 3 syllables, as is my SO's. Telemachus Bababah-Dededeh* is a bit too much of a mouthful.

*real surnames redacted. I hope that is obvious.

[Mr. Beck]

My English class had the odd habit of pronouncing it teh-leh-mac-you-lus.

Carry on.

[Hit3k]

I can't believe it. No one has suggested naming their kid Cthulhu yet? Of all the awesome names out there, Cthulhu has got to be the coolest.

[Cynical Idealist]

I only skimmed the thread looking for this, but I didn't see any mention of "Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K." Just...why?

[Angua]

I only skimmed the thread looking for this, but I didn't see any mention of "Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K." Just...why?

Oh dear, just when you thought that names couldn't get any worse.

[Benfrenchman]

Or better!

[Random832]

In English, you say Richard kind of like Ritchard. Now try to pronounce it without that unwritten t. And the d in the end has to be hard and unvoiced = t. Then you have the German pronounciation.

Technically, the sound after the "t" in english "ch" is the "sh" sound (german "sch"), not the german "ch" sound.

[Jebobek]

We took care of a few local farmers at a medical clinic. The Hunter family came in with their newborn, Bo (not sure of the spelling). Really? Do you really want people to call out Bo Hunter in school? Is that clever?

[Bobber]

We took care of a few local farmers at a medical clinic. The Hunter family came in with their newborn, Bo (not sure of the spelling). Really? Do you really want people to call out Bo Hunter in school? Is that clever?

Just letting you know that "Bo" is a common Scandinavian name in my experience.

Also: Bow Hunter - awesome!

[MoD]

Nobody even hunts bows anymore. I think they raise them on farms and ship them to the stores.

I'm always bothered by names that defy orthographical conventions. I know a "Sammy" spelled "Samé." The /tim/ idea studyinserendipity posted is pure genius though.

[jbn]

My cousin had a classmate (in Sweden) named Finn Klämming. That would without effort be interpreted as Zit Squeezy. That's pretty bad..

[folkhero]

Right now, Madison is the symbolic name that all the cool rich moms want to give their Baby Einstein trilingual-at-birth kids. It's been consistently in the top 10 for a while, and you can expect a LOT of famous Madisons in a couple decades, and chances are at least one will be the new Lindsay Lohan. Not pleasant. Same with Chase, but for boys. Christian... I wouldn't disregard the whole bible-affiliation genre, but I don't like the idea of naming a kid after a religious affiliation. Trent is pretty good and down-to-earth. Darcey Rose is just not a combination I like very much, it sounds SO girly and if the kid isn't a girly-girl it would be a problem. Lindy is cute but maybe too childish for a kid once they've grown up. And Marianne is pretty but very old-fashioned.

I mostly agree, their are way too many girls named Madison these days. My mom is a kindergarten teacher and she has probably had a half dozen Madisons these past few years. Cristian is a tough one, he will almost certainly go by Chris, which is a perfectly normal name. If you name him Christian and don't raise him to be a Christian, then it might be confusing. If you do raise him to be a Christian, but he chooses some other beliefs, then he might resent the name. On the other hand, I do like it as a middle name. I always thought Hans Christian Anderson was an awesome name. I also have a friend with the middle name Christian, he disliked his first name (I'm never sure why) so he went by Chris. If he isn't a Christian as an adult, it isn't such a big deal because he won't be reminded of it every time someone said his name.

[Hayden]

Right now, Madison is the symbolic name that all the cool rich moms want to give their Baby Einstein trilingual-at-birth kids. It's been consistently in the top 10 for a while, and you can expect a LOT of famous Madisons in a couple decades, and chances are at least one will be the new Lindsay Lohan. Not pleasant. Same with Chase, but for boys. Christian... I wouldn't disregard the whole bible-affiliation genre, but I don't like the idea of naming a kid after a religious affiliation. Trent is pretty good and down-to-earth. Darcey Rose is just not a combination I like very much, it sounds SO girly and if the kid isn't a girly-girl it would be a problem. Lindy is cute but maybe too childish for a kid once they've grown up. And Marianne is pretty but very old-fashioned.

I mostly agree, their are way too many girls named Madison these days. My mom is a kindergarten teacher and she has probably had a half dozen Madisons these past few years. Cristian is a tough one, he will almost certainly go by Chris, which is a perfectly normal name. If you name him Christian and don't raise him to be a Christian, then it might be confusing. If you do raise him to be a Christian, but he chooses some other beliefs, then he might resent the name. On the other hand, I do like it as a middle name. I always thought Hans Christian Anderson was an awesome name. I also have a friend with the middle name Christian, he disliked his first name (I'm never sure why) so he went by Chris. If he isn't a Christian as an adult, it isn't such a big deal because he won't be reminded of it every time someone said his name.

My cousin named her son Christian Wyatt <surname>. It's a nice name but I really dislike the whole Christianity thing...

[Moo]

It's just a name, it doesn't have to have anything to do with Christianity. I quite like Christian Slater as an actor and have never thought "hey, he's like named after a religion! I now think more/less of him or see a crucifix every time I watch a movie with him in it". It's a common enough name to be a name in it's own right, imo.

[Hayden]

It's just a name, it doesn't have to have anything to do with Christianity. I quite like Christian Slater as an actor and have never thought "hey, he's like named after a religion! I now think more/less of him or see a crucifix every time I watch a movie with him in it". It's a common enough name to be a name in it's own right, imo.

I disagree. My cousin and her husband are christians and they named their son Christian. They even invited me to the baptising; to which I declined! It's like the name Mohammed—often named by followers of that religion though also named by people who simply like the name.

[Moo]

it doesn't have to have anything to do with Christianity

Emphasis added to highlight what I meant. I actually typed "if the person doesn't want it to" at the end of that sentence and somehow it got lost in the final edit. If you name your kid Luke because you are a Star Wars fan then obviously it has geeky connotations; but there are plenty of people who name their kids Luke because they like the name. It can just be a name. Especially if it is already a very common name, like Luke, or Christian.

[Jebobek]

Do you think some names go outdated like Ganon, Beatrice, Sasquelle, and should not come back? Beatrice can get turned into Bea, or Be-Be, however.